Did you know the last time that I released a song was “Missed Calls (Acoustic Version) back in November of 2024?! That’s almost over two years ago. Looking back & seeing that’s actually how long it had been, it’s entirely fair for me to confess that I really don’t love that. So, what the hell happened? Let’s dive into the nitty gritty & get down to brass tax & all that jazz.
At the end of 2024 I had an opportunity spring up. This opportunity, while still tentative, required that I keep my schedule fairly clear, basically through the entire first half of 2025. I was initially told that I would know whether or not it was locked in place by around the first of the year, I didn’t end up hearing anything until the very end of March. At that point the window to release, to plan shows for the summer, to have a plan to put music out had all but closed. In addition to the lack of content that I had for distribution & appearance, the rejection from what I thought was something I had on lock really took a toll on me, much more than I thought initially it had.
Even though it was entirely up in the air, those who had presented me with this chance that eventually fell through, painted a very promising picture at the point in which I was asked to go forward in the process. It got my hopes sky high that maybe this would finally be the thing that got enough eyes on me to elevate me out of obscurity into a place even slightly higher up the career ladder from where I viewed myself to be. The rejection of that ended up making me question my worth & my value as an artist & a singer, even though the rejection email I received specifically told me that none of that was in question. I spent far too many months after that sulking, struggling to get excited for projects or writing at all.
In addition to all of that, I felt a growing estrangement from my family that weighs near constantly on my mind & heart. I felt like an outsider when at home as well as an outsider when I went to visit them & it felt like I was the only one of us who was doing something other than ignoring that feeling & sweeping it under the rug per usual. I felt isolated, angry, frustrated, heartbroken, worthless, othered.
It wasn’t until the summer that my dear friend Leena reached out & offered to set up a standing write with me every week to help us both get back on the horse, something we still do to this day! We’d go back & forth each week or so on whose ‘turn’ it was to have a song written & by the time the end of summer rolled around we’d both started to build a pretty decent collection of songs that we both enjoyed. It here that I started reaching out to producers to try & get some of these songs ready for release.
I first reached out to Jess Grommet who had done the production for “Consequences Of My Honesty” & “Missed Calls.” Jess had recently secured a much deserved pub deal at Warner Chappell & when I’d texted him in June/July to set up studio time, he’d told me they’d booked him up through September. Again, major props to him! So, I went about looking for some other production options.
Incase you are unaware, a song in Nashville, TN will cost you, at minimum, around $2-2.5K to have it produced. At minimum. That minimum became very apparent the more producers in town that I reached out to, a lot of whom quoted me 1.5-2 times that number. Truly no shame to them, know your worth y’all. It’s just hard, financially, to be a singer-songwriter in these streets. I then turned to yet another avenue & looked abroad.
Max Hurrell, Leena’s husband, had been a former producer at Atlantic in LA. He & she now have a studio in Adelaide, South Australia called the Songbird Society. Max had previously worked with me on the release of “Obliterated” that I did with Hektor Mass back when covid struck. I ended up reaching out to him & we discovered that I could fly to Australia & do a song with Max for cheaper than I could in Nashville. So, at the end of October/beginning of November that’s what I did. I flew to Australia to work with Max on music.
At this point I’d already started work on a track with Jess, we’d picked a song that I wrote a while back with Reid Zingale, Chuck Callahan, & Mandi Mapes called “Some Days.” The song appears on Zingale’s album The Good, The Challenge, The Change, but was an idea that had lived in my notes app for years. The premise is simple, it’s a take on the struggle with mental health & is an acknowledgment that a lot of days are going to suck, but you have to hold on to the ‘some days.’ The days that are brighter & where the ice begins to crack & you find yourself renewed. Jess & I chose to work on this for a number of reasons. One, Reid’s version is his own, but there are certain sections of the song that we wrote that ended up on his cutting room floor that I, personally, find pertinent to the story being told. I also had a deep affinity for the song before it even into being & went through a crisis around ‘giving it away’ in the first place. The second reason was that I wanted a feature on the song in one of the sections that had been previously omitted. Jess & his wife, Carli’s, band, Pacific Midwest, fit that bill perfectly. We started work on “Some Days” in September of 2025 & finished it in March of this year.
Back to Australia, Ev & I ended up there for a week & a half in Oct/Nov of 2025. Max & I decided to work on a song that Leena & I had written called “Don’t Look Now (It’s The End of the World),” a song about political apathy & the frustration of dealing with people who refuse to read the book on this open note test we’re dealing with right now. We cut almost all of the guitars, keyboard parts, synth parts, & the entirety of the vocals for the project. Once we left Australia we got hit by the holidays & the song got put on hold for a while.
At a certain point during revisitation Max & I discovered that we had tracked the song in the wrong time signature which was causing some of the synth tracks to not sit well in the rhythmic pocket. The problem with that is that the song has a lot of different parts that are each doing very active motion & if they aren’t all perfectly lined up, it ends up being a bit of a mess. It took Max a while to find a fix for this, especially since we had already done so much work in the old time signature. Eventually it was fixed, I flew over bass parts, a keytar/guitar solo, & a few other items & we got back to work on the project from abroad. Thankfully, now, we are in the final minor adjustments where production is concerned & are starting to toy with mixes.
I feel it’s worth mentioning that none of this was to plan. My plan was to do a release in spring of this year followed by another a month & a half later & a third falling along a similar timeline. With that in mind, & had all things gone according to the plan I had in my head, we’d now be well in the weeds on single #3 & its promo. But we aren’t & that’s okay. Timing is everything. It’s also worth noting, to give insight into my headspace the past year, that up until a couple of weeks ago, I hadn’t played a show since June of 2025. Other than a few releases by other people with songs I’ve cowritten, my music career has basically been stalled in the water.
I’ve written many a post about my struggles with my physical & mental health over the last two years, that has also played a major part in all of this unfortunately. It’s put road blocks in my way that I hadn’t anticipated & honestly has left me with a lot of self doubt. It’s made me question my worth, my talents, my abilities, whether or not this is a dream I should even keep working for. I’ve had a hard time singing in general & where our house used to be filled with near constant music & musical creation, it has since dried up & become quiet. It’s something I’m still working to change & something where I find myself afraid to play the piano or the guitar & very afraid of singing. My musical voice has been compromised & I am still working to reconnect with & recover it.
Now, where are we? What’s the update? Well it’s the end of September, “Some Days” is done, its album art actively in the works & a plan has been laid to try & have it out to you all within the first couple weeks of November. Surprise, I guess! “Don’t Look Now (It’s The End Of The World)” is in its final stages & Ev & I are looking to shoot artwork for it at some point this week! From there I anticipate the song coming out within the first month or two of 2027. Each song will also have a corresponding acoustic version release, of course, & I anticipate a return to the studio here shortly to begin song #3 which I hope to have out in March or April of next year! We are doing it. We’re coming back. My mental & physical health hurdles aside, it is well past time to jump back on the horse & dig in! I can’t wait to share it all with you!
Until then, much love to you all,
-C