Overwhelm

Blog: Where Do I Even Begin?...

If you’re a weekly reader of my blogs you may have read last week that I had a previous topic in mind when I went into that particular blog that didn’t end up happening simply because I felt called to go in a different direction, which is where we ended up. Side note; if you’re a weekly reader of mine, from the bottom of my heart thank you! I was hesitant to start blogging for the reason that it is often times baring your soul for strangers on the internet. Come to think of it, I actually think it may be easier to be open with strangers than to open yourself up to those closest to you. All of this is to say I hope you’ll come to this blog with as much love, kindness, & support as you have in the past. If you’re new to this whole carnival, welcome, I’m glad you’re here. Onto the topic at hand.

Something I desperately struggle with as an artist, creative, entrepreneur, business owner, etc. is starting. They say you have to start to succeed, which naturally is true, but I often find myself standing at the precipice of inception unable to budge. You see I immediately run into the feeling of overwhelm. I know all of the things I need to be doing but I’m struck with immobility because of the overwhelm of it all. It’s not like I don’t know how to be an organized person or how to prioritize or make lists, it’s just that I get an instant state of panic & can’t begin to even fathom the steps moving forward.

I know I’m not alone in this either, I’ve done a little bit of surveying over the last few weeks in this exact field of study. I wish so badly that it weren’t the case, I wish I could find myself presented with a challenge or a list of things that would lead me to success & not immediately go into mental gridlock but I can’t for the life of me find a way around. I say all of this not for your pity but more as a way of sharing my struggles in hopes they resonate with you. I also almost wonder if I’m in part begging for help especially where the music industry is concerned. I feel I’m often presented with a ‘do thing & you’ll get that’ but I feel no one addresses the ‘how.’

I think the reason for all the vagueness is that a lot of people don’t know themselves, they stumbled upon success or happened to have friends or family in high places & that’s equally, if not more frustrating. A part of me wants to stand atop the BMI or SESAC building & scream “WTF DO I DO?!” but I know that wouldn’t solve anything & would simply make me look like a loon. I guess I’m just feeling lost in a sea of people who know exactly what they want & how to get it. I feel drowned in complete uncertainty.

Again, all of this is meant to find common ground with you as a reader, if this doesn’t resonate with you specifically, I’m sorry. I also wanted anyone out there feeling this way to know that they’re not alone, that you are seen & heard & felt. You are deserving of success just as I am but sometimes the path ahead feels less like a road & more like an endlessly winding labyrinth. I am writing this not only to remind myself to have patience & persistence but to also remind you to do the same. They say good things come to those who wait, but I think that’s a bit of BS. I think good things come to those who claim them because they know they’re meant to happen. So claim your good things & don’t worry about the mess in between. Even Theseus relied on little more than a ball of thread to escape his own maze. Don’t get too overwhelmed by the massive walls around you or the things standing in your way, take it one inch of thread at a time.