Blog: Target Misses The Mark

Well it’s almost June & you know what that means, it’s time for the grungy shine of rainbow capitalism to once again rear its head & pretend to give two licks about members of the LGBTQIA+ community. As per the annual occurrence, Target has launched their often wildly hit or miss pride collection to its usual mixed reviews, only this time there’s an awful lot more ‘booing’ than usual coming from the ignorant side of the shopping aisle.

If you’ve been to a Target ever in your life you’ll know that they always feature the monthly collections at the entrance to the store, whether it’s black history month, asian pacific islanders heritage month, woman’s history month, etc, there is always a display that caters to those wishing to express their pride in their often marginalized, persecuted, & subjugated communities. (Read that again please CIS/Het white folks, marginalized, persecuted, & subjugated communities, you needs not apply.) Pride month is no different & with the massive wave of anti-LGBTQ legislature & sentiment on the rise, this year, more than others, that seems to be causing quite the controversy.

Those who view themselves on the hearsay moral authority of the right have decided that this blatant display of pride in what makes someone’s life more difficult statistically in past & modern American life is an attempt at, one of their new favorite terms, grooming. That the displays in the front of the store are promoting (dare I say) acceptance & tolerance & teaching kids (god forbid) that it’s okay to not be on the ‘straight’ & narrow & that their thoughts & feelings might just be normal. They took major issue with Target’s offering of clothing items for kids & infants that might simply exist just as a way for children to show support for their LGBTQ+ parents, relatives, etc. Naturally, if you are new here, you can see where I fall on this side of the argument. These people have called for a boycott of Target store & unfortunately, it seems to have worked.

Target stores, over the course of the week long boycott, experienced around a nine billion dollar loss in market value. Not a number to bat an eye at. Surprisingly, however, the momentary monetary loss was not the issue. The issue was that these hateful, loathsome humans took it upon themselves to start rattling off death threats to target employees, who are simply there trying to earn a minimum wage. These threats were so forceful & so numerous that not only has Target unfortunately complied, moving the collection to the back of a lot of stores, but these acts are literally beginning to be labeled as forms of domestic terrorism because at the end of the day what is terrorism if not an attempt to scare someone into doing what you want?

This sets a precedent, it signals to those who disagree with anything even remotely outside of their limited world view that they can throw a fit, threaten people, & their voice & demands will be heard. What Target has caved to here will allow this type of action to be taken against other businesses, corporations, etc without the fear of any repercussions. Target has not only racked up a major loss for the visibility of those in marginalized groups but also for anyone else who has the balls to stand up against these closed minded individuals & declare “no, this is what’s right” in the face of hate.

I hope you all have a lovely week or weekend, whenever you may be reading this!

As always, much love to you all,

-C

Blog: Stumbling Through Life

This past week when I arrived back home from Arizona I received an email from a site called Feedspot. In the email they congratulated me on being placed as one of their 70 Best Nashville Music Blogs & Websites in 2023 to which they assigned me the 35th place. Now, I never applied for this site, nor had I honestly heard of it until I received the email, additionally I know absolutely zilch about the site or company itself but at the end of the day I’m honored that I was even considered to be on the list at all. After all, this blog is often just a journal of my ramblings & misadventures, a collection of my thoughts & feelings. The crazy thing is that, for whatever reason, it connects with people & that is what I am most grateful for.

So be honest, I’m not entirely sure what I’m doing each Friday or Saturday when I post a new entry in this crazy chronicle. What started out as a way to share my travel expertise & taste has shifted into a bit of an enigma that I’m still not entirely sure I have a grasp on. I’ve mentioned it before in previous blogs just how random & unexpected this is at times but in all honesty it often feels like I’m just stumbling through life, randomly landing on the occasional accomplishment.

I think this is true of most things I do; I put out music & it often sticks in the most random of places but seldom the ones that I intend. Same goes for this space. The blogs I write out of pain, frustration, or exhaustion are often the ones that are still read to this day. So too are the ones that I write from random spur of the moment travels, not the ones I spend weeks crafting trying to give my best possible recommendations for the many places in the world that I have frequented. To say I feel a tad unmoored or aimless in my day to day would be an understatement.

Maybe that’s all a part of the human experience, maybe I’m preaching to the choir here, but it feels like most days I wake up with a big, fat question mark floating above my head. I spend most of my mornings trying desperately to figure out the course of my day. Do I still have lists of tasks & work that I do each day? Of course, but it feels a little like I’m going through the motions a bit with no real end in sight. I don’t mean to say I’m depressed, quite the opposite, of the most part I find myself content, which is something that I believe we should all strive for, but I wish I had a better sense of direction or overt purpose than what I feel on my average day.

Again, maybe I’m preaching to the choir here, or maybe this is entirely taboo to you as a reader but there are so many days that I wish someone would just grab me by the shoulders, look me dead in the eyes, & say ‘this is what you’re meant to be doing & this is how you get there.’ I wish there was an overt light or guide holding my hand through the blackness & pulling me towards my destination instead of feeling like a mast-less ship adrift in the middle of the Pacific surviving of a steady supply of rainwater, fresh fish, & a library of assorted books, musical instruments, & games. Did that analogy land or did it sink?…I’ll leave.

At the end of the day I am grateful. I am grateful that I get to spend my life creating in different fashions. I am grateful that I get to see & experience the world & all of the incredible beauties it holds. I am grateful that I have the space & lack of pressure to do something that is soul sucking & I am grateful to each of you out there who read or listen to the inner machinations of my mind & find them interesting enough to keep coming back. I am just longing for clear direction as so many of us do but in the mean time I intend to stay in my contentment & learn as I try to grow towards whatever end awaits me.

As always, much love to you all,

-C

Blog: Rediscovering The Joy In Your Passions

This past week I had the utter privilege of spending some time with a few fellow artists & friends in Arizona at a songwriter’s retreat put on by the Songbird Society out of Adelaide, Australia. This camp was centered entirely around two concepts; tension & release.

The first point of interest, tension, was meant to help us as songwriters find the points of tension within our creativity that keep us from creating to our fullest. We each were given a series of prompts at the beginning of the day, after a morning yoga session, & asked to think about them throughout the day & bring them with us into the sessions we were given. The rules were simple regarding the songs themselves. Whoever’s idea the song started as had right of first use. The sessions were also meant to be open, honest, & vulnerable & established a safe space for expression & transparency. The songs that each of the two groups of writers produced were organic & an amazingly natural flowing process of creation. When snags were reached, they were easily talked & worked through without allowing the session to get bogged down & turned into a grueling task. The art that was created in these sessions was free, personal, & inspiring.

Following our sessions on the first day we sat down to engage in symposium. Each of us took turns discussing the areas of our lives that we felt carried tension, be it personal or creative. From there we were prompted to see ways forward through our lives & creative process that would allow the alleviation of said points of tension.

The second day focused on release. We started the day with a five AM double black diamond hike up the side of a mountain & then spent the remainder of the morning in ease while contemplating the prompts we were given post hike regarding the release of our points of tension. Sessions took place in the early afternoon after we’d regained our energy & footing & were once again an inspiring free fall into the depths of what it is to be a songwriter & to create amazing, personal yet still widely appealing, art. Both sets of sessions ran into often outright painful points of tension for the focal songwriter but both groups worked through them in a loving & understanding manner. The evening concluded with us showcasing our songs & once again engaging in symposium.

On the third day we shifted course a little. We ended up setting two rooms in which the producers/engineers on the track were given a prompt that would put them out of their comfort zone, allowing them to experiment through trial & error in an affirming & encouraging space. The writers for each of these rooms were not set but instead kind of ended up happening by happenstance & once more, beautiful, innovative art was created!

My point in bringing up my week & telling the base story around it is not to showcase or showoff how great & amazing a creative experience I was privy to, but instead to encourage. You see we all left this week (there were more days that just the three where we did other engaging & creative pursuits) with a new found sense of purpose, with a newly established spark of creativity. Songbird took a group of individuals, a lot of whom knew each other very well, & fostered an experience that expanded & fine tuned not only our interpersonal relationships but also our creative spirits. We all left the camp with hope & optimism & a joy for the art of songwriting that I personally had lost.

We’re all led to do the things we do out of passion. We’ve all heard the saying “do what you love & you’ll never work a day” but so many of us end up resenting the thing we started doing out of love & enjoyment because it becomes work & loses all sense of fun. I know I can speak to this personally by saying that a lot of the writing rooms I’ve left in the past few years have left me almost with an icky feeling stirring around my gut, because that love of what was being done & what was being created was absent. Now, that’s not to say all writes were like this but there was truly something different about the writing that was being done & the spirit in which it was being created that made me feel reborn.

So often we go into our work with the purest intentions & somewhere along the way lose sight of the reason behind why we started it in the first place. I mean, to be honest, I was really starting to question whether or not this was something I even wanted anymore because of how grueling it had become. I knew, deep inside that the answers was ‘of course’ but I could for the life of me find that ember that was still holding on to the hope of what I love doing.

How does this apply to you? Well I ask you, when was the last time you felt inspired & in love with the work that you do? When did you lose that & why? These are not things that are irreversible, you got into the rut somehow & there’s always a way out whether that lies in the past or in moving forward towards the future. In all honesty, I spoke to my father about the week & he said something rather jarring to me. I said that for once writing doesn’t feel like work, it feels free & creative & fun. To which he replied that work should feel like work, that’s what it is. Which then led me to this blog because I know so many people who are miserable doing the things they set out to do with the purest intention because they’ve lost the spark that brought them to where they are now.

Your work shouldn’t be draining, especially if it’s something you love doing. It should be life giving & inspiring & if you find that isn’t the case I would challenge you to take the time to figure out why. To find your points of tension & release them so that you can spend the time living in a place that brings you happiness & satisfaction, not just potential profit & gain.

As always, much love to you all,

-C

Blog: Writing The Hit

I can’t tell you the amount of times that I’ve walked into a session & had another artist or a writer say “are we going to write a hit today?” to which the proper response is always “of course” or “I sure hope so,” because let’s face it, nobody wants the negative energy of a “statistically, probably not.” Lately I’ve been convening with a lot of different writers, most of the time over drinks or a meal, & this topic of “I just need to write a hit” has come up time & time again. If you’re someone reading this who isn’t in the music world, I don’t want you to tune out, because in actuality, the broadness of the topic at hand may surprise you!

When the notion of ‘writing the hit’ is presented to me it automatically stirs up feelings of commercialism, of pandering, of conformity, & that’s not to say that there aren’t things you should strive for in your art or expression, to an extent. I think that if any of these feelings detract from your art or minimize your personal experience they are a hindrance, not a leg up, & should be avoided at all costs. If, on the other hand, these sentiments match who you are & what you bring to the table, fire away, the goal here should be, after all, authenticity.

There naturally has to be some for of commercial viability for something to be successful, but I often think that the idea of what is successful based on what has been successful pigeon holes us into a narrowed scope of thinking. Instead of allowing the imagination & the self expression to run wild, we end up worrying more about whether or not what we’ve created or plan to create will fit into the already etched out niche of what has been successful in the past. I would argue that playing into the hand of the road well trodden may lead to limited success but it also stumbles readily into the realm of the forgotten.

People who are trail blazers, in any industry, are seldom, if ever, those who followed the status quo. They are those who followed their gut & pushed the boundaries of what was deemed commercially viable. Let’s use an example from a few years ago. When Billie Eilish exploded onto the scene & immediately became popular, every label & their mother scrambled to find the next her, instead of continuing the search for something just as unique. They all sought to capitalize on that which was already raking in the capital. This happens not only in the music industry but in literally every other industry I can think of where something is successful & everyone else hops on board to try to ride the wave that sensation has created.

A lot of those who I was talking about this concept of ‘writing the hit’ with this week are also artists & are looking for that one song that will break them, something I’ve heard for years & years & years in this industry but I find in doing so, in chasing the monetary or status based success, we diminish what makes us unique & interesting as artists & individuals in favor of a brief minute on the well worn path instead of carving our own niche & finding those out there in the world who relate to us as we are, not how we think they should.

People are pretty good at sniffing out a phony, call it the uncanny valley of expression, & their ride in the limelight is often short lived because usually the person who blazed the trail they dipped into is already making the trek better than anyone else could. Why? Because it’s authentically who they are. If you are an artist, an inventor, a painter, a poet, a writer, a speaker, a ceo, a whatever, you have a unique outlook on the world & life that literally no one else shares because no one else looks through your eyes & has the lived experience that you do. No one else has the same genetic make up, the same voice (literal & figurative), the same neurological mapping, the same beats of their heart, the same chemical values, the same stacks of cells that you do, so stop trying to fit into the mold of someone who will never be you & someone you will never be. It’s a lot more interesting to create something novel & authentic than it is to be just another wanna be copy cat.

I hope you all have a great week or weekend whenever this blog happens to find you!

As always, much love to you all!

-C

Bloglet: On Easter

I don’t know why I felt called to write this today, but I did. I think a lot of my internal battles around faith have led me here & I thought a few of you out there might resonate with what I have to say.

First of all, I just want to remind each of you that your faith is your own. The level of belief or non-belief in whatever you believe in is entirely your journey to have outside of exterior influence & in fact I’ve often found that “exterior influence” tends to make my personal faith wane. No one is entitled to your spiritual journey except for you. Naturally, as the title would suggest, this little bloglet is coming from my own christian-centric journey. That being said, if you are someone who finds the act of going to church on Easter performative or disingenuous I would honestly advise you to not go. Faith shouldn’t feel like a chore & despite what Ragetti says in Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Curse, I don’t believe that you “get credit for trying” at least not in the sense of attendance points. Likewise if you are someone who finds the church space uncomfortable, unwelcoming, or alienating, I would advise you not to go. You should feel welcomed & celebrated to come as you are, not as someone else would want you to be.

I personally am someone who finds churches, more often than not, falling into the above categories. I tried & tried for years to make them stick because of the way I was raised & it all just felt so superficial. I know that’s a massive generalization on my part, I’m simply speaking from my experience. I also know there are going to be many people out there who give me the “well, not my church, you should try mine” & if I’m being honest, it all just sounds like a sales pitch to me. If you’re someone who has found genuine community in your church, I’m so happy for you, truly I am, because that should be the goal, but for so many of us, that’s just not the case.

So, as someone who identifies as “Christian,” a phrase I use cautiously if you’ve read my other blogs on the topic, how do I celebrate Easter if it’s not from a church pew or a cushioned folding chair set up in a shared space? I celebrate Easter by seeking out God in the places I often find them. I celebrate Easter by immersing myself in the wild places; the forest, the ocean, the mountains, the meadows. I celebrate Easter by engaging in the passion of human beings; food, culture, closeness with those I love, music, the things that allow me to sit back & sonder, to see humans in the greatest expressions of joy, gratitude, & fulfillment. I find the signatures of God in nature, in genuine connection, & in the purest, most freed expression of what it is that makes us human. As Alan Moore wrote in his acclaimed graphic novel, V For Vendetta, “God is in the rain.”

I’m writing this today because I know there are so many of you out there like me, who see the disconnect between book & practice & find it jarring to try & squeeze into the mold of ‘the church goer’ on this holy day. I know there are many out there who are clinging to remnants of their faith because you desperately want to but your lived experience has been contrary to what The Bible says it should. I know for a lot of you today can be painful, especially for those of you who have lost or been ostracized by friends & family by actually practicing the words of the book. I am here to tell you that you are not alone, your experience is valid, & I understand what you are going through.

I want to challenge those of you who are clinging to the fragmented, tattered scraps of your faith to spend a portion of your day finding your reflections of creation wherever it if that you feel them. Bask in them, be grateful for them, & for the connection you share & live your life through the lens of unconditional love as we have been called to do.

The Happiest of Easters to those of you who follow the way!

He Is Risen!

Blog: Censoring Myself As An Artist

I think I’ve reached a point as a songwriter where I’m actively censoring myself. It’s not something I intended to do or wanted to happen but alas, that is where I find myself. I don’t think that I was always this way nor do I think a lot of the songs of my past are vague on the details of my personal life but I’ve had events happen in my life where people I’m close to have hurt me deeply & I find myself incapable of putting pen to paper or note to track out of a fear of hurting their feelings.

This is a problem I developed a couple of years ago that I am waking up to. You see, there are times where those in your life who support & cheer you on do the most undeniable damage they can to you & all you feel like you can do is march on & hope that time heals the wound & it doesn’t happen again. A lot of times these people don’t even know that the'y’ve caused you pain or that the things they’ve said or left unsaid made it to your eyes or ears & dug a sharp gash in your heart. I had one of these & while I wrote several songs around the events in question I began to self limit because I felt they were songs I could never share or release because they would upset the people they are about. Here in lies the paradox for me.

The thing that sucks is that I know these are songs that need to see the light of day because the struggles that I went through are not unique to my person & in releasing them to a broader audience they stand a chance of helping someone else out there who is struggling. I also understand that I am doing myself a disservice by locking these songs behind the screen of my iPhone or the hard drive of my computer & that the greatest art often comes from the greatest pain. In all honesty I’m looking at myself going “wtf am I doing,” as I write all of this into a blog even though I’m not specifying anything.

But here’s the problem. Art is expression. It’s meant to evoke an emotion from the listener, viewer, taster, etc. & by cutting myself off from the art that hurts, the art within me that is real, I am censoring myself as an artist & producing blunted content that helps no one & limits my growth both as a human being & as an artist. In shying away into what is safe like a chastised dog I have placed a wall between myself & the true art that lies in wait within me & I’m not sure I know how to tear it down.

The easy answer to that, naturally, is share & release the songs, but they are songs that require difficult conversations & may cause further damage to a wound that has found some form of healing, even if It’s not how I would like. But what must be done to the bone that has been set improperly & healed crooked? It must be unmade to heal properly. It is a redemption that my heart yearns for but that I fear is nothing more than a fantasy, so I sit stuck in indecision & with a great filter hindering my art.

This is true for those of you reading this who may not be artists as well. I think that we often times allow our ache to be swept under the rug so that we can continue to have certain relationships where we feel the connection outweighs our suffering. It’s a hard road to tread & a hard decision to make, especially if the wound is old. But I feel that we limit ourselves entirely by doing so, not just in the artistic sense but in our development as human beings. It’s often said that you can tell when someone experienced unresolved trauma because they often stagnate in their personal growth. People harmed at 25 remain the same mentally emotionally as they move into their 30s because they would rather cover the wound than face it.

I know I am not alone in this &, if this resonates with you, I hope you know that you are not alone. Your reservations are just as valid as your pain but can you imagine just how joyous it will feel the day that pain is set free, the day the conflict that has been eating you up inside is resolved? Maybe it is worth it, maybe it’s not, but in the end, that’s up to you to decide, just as it is for me. I want so badly to lean into the freedom but I’d be lying if I said fear wasn’t holding me back. As my friend Stephen Lovegrove says, “the path that scares you the most is usually the correct one.” Maybe it’s time to take the scary path & step out of the pain that has become comfortable. Maybe it’s time to step on a few toes.

As always, much love to you all,

-C

Story: Let's Go Back, Back To The Beginning

Earlier this week I grabbed coffee, or rather tea because I’m trying to cut my caffeine intake, with a new friend. At one point in the conversation he brought up my blogs. You know, this thing you’re currently feasting your eyes upon. The first thing he asked me was “how & why did you get started doing blogs” & it occurs to me now that I’ve never formally had that conversation with you all who return week after week, drift in & out, or have randomly stumbled upon this here post. It was an interesting thing to talk about & kind of piece together along the way as I told him the story but the idea of recounting it here hadn’t occurred to me until today when I sat down to write, at which time I was met with a random passing “how did you get started, how far have you come?” question while pilfering through the internet.

My blog page started as a recommendation blog. I had a former manager who commented on the fact that I always have food & drink recommendations for people when they go anywhere & that I should compile a list so that people can access that information at any time without having to text or DM me. The first one, naturally, was Nashville. I compiled a list of restaurants on one blog post & bars on another & published it to actually fairly moderate success. In fact the blog still remains actively edited to this day when I remember to make edits & feel like adding in new restaurants/bars or when some of the ones on the list have closed. From there my recommendation blogs continued. I did an LA food one next, followed by LA drink, then came Kansas City, which I’m pretty sure is a combination blog, & Portland, which I know for a fact is.

Now around this time the mailing list craze was really kicking off & I went to a seminar about marketing for artists such as myself. Someone on one of the panels brought up that one artist they knew did a weekly blog where she detailed & documented her week & then sent it out as a newsletter before the weekend. This sparked the idea of these now weekly blogs.

I knew I didn’t think my day to day life was interesting or varied enough to entice readers to come back week after week so instead I opted for a different approach. My blogs would be varied. Sometimes they would be recommendation blogs, sometimes recipes since I cook quite often, sometimes they would actually be about an event I experienced if I found that event to be interesting enough for a retelling.

Around the time I started to write blogs happened to coincide with the events & civil rights travesties of the Trump Administration. As someone who found himself incredibly politically literate & in possession of a platform, I started writing blogs highlighting the damage that was being done to The USA at large. Additionally, within that same vein, I started to write think pieces directed towards those reading who I knew might fall on the conservative spectrum about more liberal policies & why they are beneficial. I tried to frame them from the perspective of someone who would be against them to mixed success. I continued on this track, using my blog to post my opinions as well as resources when natural or political disasters struck. It wasn’t until May of 2021 that I started doing travel blogs.

Evan & I ended up in Maui right around the time that the tourism industry reopened in Hawaii. I had gone to finish the open water side of my dive certification & had just invested in a GoPro to grab footage of our time there. I did it partially for content & also so the people I knew that cared to know about my adventures had a place to turn to & get the inside scoop of all the goings on of my travels. Additionally it allowed me to combine a lot of the elements of what I was doing; storytelling, recommendations, etc., into one single post in one single place. The thing I ended up underestimating was the time in which each of these travel blogs take.

So the travel blogs ate up a lot of time, most of them ended up being around a two to three week series that took me around the totality of the week to complete for each. I had to write the stories, link the places, go through edit & add the photos, place the photos aesthetically, etc. etc. etc. but I quickly found that these were my most popular submissions. That’s until I wrote a blog called “No Hate Like Christian Love.”

NHLCL was really a think piece for me, a plea for the evangelicals of the world to look at how they were asked to behave in the book they claim to cling to & compare that to the way they are actually perceived by the world & also understand why “the church” is dying. It remains my most popular blog to this day, out performing each of my weekly submissions during the week they’re posted. NHLCL still garners easily around one hundred individual views a week just from people either searching for something of the like or having stumbled upon it some other way. It has, aside from each of my travel blogs, been the biggest source of outreach & foot traffic to this, my website.

So where are we today? Well, this piece, I suppose, could be filed under “story.” The shape that my blog has taken over the years is very reflective of who I am as an individual, all encompassing. I think, if I were to choose a direction for it to go, it would mostly remain in the story telling world, specifically as a recounting of my travels & the highs & lows of my life. I like to think that my blog has a positive influence on the world, as small or large as that is, but I suppose that’s for you all to decide, not me. The hard part about getting travel content for you all is getting to travel, having the funds & time to scour the globe for my next adventure to bring back & share with you all. If that weren’t as much of an issue, I think this blog would definitely take that shape more often than not. I’m always down for feedback though! I’d love to know what you’ve liked & disliked about my blog over the years. I’d love to know what you’d like to see more of or less of. I’m always intrigued to know who is reading my posts, why, & what they got out of it.

As always,

Much love to you all & thank you for supporting this crazy weekly thing that I do!

-C

Blog: #Goals! Wait, Scratch That, #VisionBoards!

I’ve never been much for goal setting, though I’ve never been entirely sure why. Whether it has something to do with the fleeting fancies of ADHD or the feeling that somehow, if I don’t complete everything on it, I’m some sort of a failure, I’ve never been able to stick out my goals & make actual steps towards their achievement. That’s not to say I never meet my goals, but for some reason there’s a sterile pressure around the idea & practice of goal setting; it feels oddly corporate or cheesy, like something you do in a quarterly review with a higher up who really doesn’t care whether or not your aspirations are met. I guess a part of me still attributes goal setting to the academic setting, a worksheet to hand in for trivial credit that never actually amounts to much.

If you’ve read my previous blogs that were written around the transition between the old & new year, you’ll see that I also am not an advocate for the new year’s resolution, nor for that matter is science. Simply stated, they don’t work, they fizzle out. To some degree I’d say I feel the same about goal setting. In all honesty, I’m sure, if you’re like me, that you saw the title of this blog about “goal setting” & probably didn’t even click the link. I guess we’ll never know though seeing as the simple window shopping didn't come in to investigate.

This past year both myself & my lovely friend, Kate Cosentino, came across the same TikTok around the same week. It was a woman talking about how she, like me, hated the traditional form of goal setting & why said past goal setting attempts didn't work for her. Her approach, instead, was that of a guest who had previously appeared on the Oprah Winfrey Show. If their segment they talked about vision boards & what to do with them/how to place & arrange them in a way that allows you to use them towards the aims you were after. Their method was quarterly, requiring a new vision board every three months, & asked you, not only, to visualize your board on the front, but also to write your visions & goals out on the back. In this way it was similar to the “Mind Movies” that Dr Joe Dispenza uses in his seminars to teach shifting perspective & mental energy in alignment with the things you desire. As aforementioned, the vision board you’ve created is meant to be revisited on a quarterly basis, the only difference from your first board being that you are meant to review & revise.

Let’s say you put on your vision board that you want to rekindle a relationship with your parents. If at the end of Q1 you’ve made attempts & gotten no where near where you want to be you write on the back of your Q2 vision board the same goal emphasizing the things that worked & writing & evaluating a new path forward. I suppose it’s also worth mentioning that you’re meant to write how you plan to go about your visions on the back of the Q1 board.

Another major component of the vision boarding is that you’re meant to do so with a group & share your vision board with said group when you are finished. The day Kate & I came across out vision board TikTok we both planned an evening with Kimi Most & Evan to create together & share. This outward expression of your desires helps to get the word out, it helps to solidify the things you want in the words you say. After all, how can it be known what you want if you won’t ask? In this way it gets you accustomed to speaking on your wants, your shortcomings, & your plans with those who will love & nurture you along the way. It also allows people the chance to help you if something comes up on your board that they feel they have insight on.

So how did my vision boarding go? How did it turn out. Well, much like I mentioned above with goal setting, we all fell off the wagon. We did the one evening of work & then never followed up with the next three quarterly reports. That’s not to say it was a failure though as yet another aspect of this vision board journey is that you place your board somewhere you see it daily & somewhere people who enter your home will see it & can ask you about it. Again, the goal is to talk about the things you want, to keep them at the forefront of your mind so that they become the magnetic north that guides your internal compass. Mine & Evan’s have been in the kitchen, right next to the place where we consume majority of our meals. Both boards are highly visible & both have been talked about openly amongst each other, friend, & the like. I’d say of the twenty-five things I have on my board, around seven of them came true in one form or another. That’s not bad for not following the program to the letter you’re supposed to.

So why do I draw attention to all of this? Why do I talk vision boards, goals, & the steps it takes to actualize them? Well, because I’d like to, if I may, use the last half of this blog as a digital vision board, so to speak. I’m sure in the type format it will come out looking more like a goals list but I promise you, on the other end of this I will be making a vision board to represent all of the things listed below & probably more. I’m doing this here as a form of accountability. We’re meant to share & talk about our dreams & that’s what I’m doing here. I’d also like, if you may, for you to remind me to revisit this quarterly, checking off & adjusting as we go along!

I wish you all the happiest of new years, filled to the brim with love & joy!

As always, much love to you all!

-C

Charlie’s 2023 Digital Vision Board

-Sign A Publishing Deal (Smack, Universal, Warner Chapel)

-Get At Least Five Outside Cuts

-Tour As An Opener For A Larger Act

-Sign With A Talent Agency (WME, CAA, ACA)

-Get Paid To Travel

-Get Paid To Promote The Products I Already Use

-Cross Two More Continents Off The Total Seven (Still Need South America, Australia, Africa, & Antarctica)

-Release A Minimum Of One Song Per Quarter

-Get Verified Across All Social Platforms

-Grow Creatively

-Help More People

-Get Social Numbers Up (Instagram 20K BYE, TIKTOK 10K BYE, ETC)

-Get 1K Spotify Followers

-Get On Editorial Playlists For Spotify & Apple Music

-Visit Japan

-See The Northern Lights (Preferably In Iceland)

-Become A Master Diver

-Have At Least One Song Trend

-Write More Honest Lyrics

-Cut Medicine Written By Harry Styles

-Do More Features

-Add At Least Five More Michelin Stars To My Belt

-Find Daily Moments Of Gratitude

-Get Back Into Eating In A Healthier Manner

-Hit The Gym At Least Four Times A Week

-Walk My Dogs More

-Spend More Time With The People Who Bring Me Joy & Less With Those Who Don’t

-Find A Consistent Form Of Financial Freedom That’s Not Soul Sucking

-Embrace The Unknown

Blog: Travel Blogs & Their Time Table

I know what you’re thinking, ‘um, this is not a travel blog, you just returned from travel, wtf?!’ & you’d be correct, this is not a travel blog though, I assure you, next week’s will be. Why is this not a travel blog? Well, that would be the entire point of this blog you are currently scanning into your brain through your eye holes. I felt it appropriate & incredible important to fill you in on my process & what exactly goes in to each of these travel blogs that you all so lovingly read, because the answer is no short sum.

Again, if you are a reader of my frequent travel blogs, I thank you, from the bottom of my heart. I started them back in May of 2021 with my three part Maui series & have since done everything from The UK (multiple times), Fiji, Disneyland, etc & am currently working on Indonesia & Singapore for your reading enjoyment. However, the thing that I don’t think a lot of people realize from the outside looking in is just how long each of these travel blogs take to formulate & publish.

On an average week I would say that a standard blog takes me around two-three hours to complete, the shorter ones maybe an hour & a half. The travel blogs on the other hand, & any other recommendation blog I do, ends up being around ten hours of work, minimum, outside of the travel itself. I’m sure many of you read that number & though ‘the hell is he spending ten plus hours on in a travel blog?’ & the answers may surprise you.

Aside from the stories themselves, the remembering key events & filing them into an order that makes a coherent & interesting story, I also have to go through & tag each of the locations involved. If you weren’t aware, each time that a location is mentioned in a travel blog of mine, be it a restaurant, bar, hotel, museum, or even just a landmark, the name is a clickable link that takes you to the site of that exact property. Additionally I have to go in & edit each of the photos posted to the blog & often find & pull the ones I forgot to save to my phone that I want to use. Furthermore, logistics with squarespace, the housing site for my site & blog, make it so I have to switch back & forth between my computer & phone to get things uploaded &/or where I want them to be in the blog itself & if in the process of all of this my work gets derailed & I end up having to shift work time to something else, it often leads to a delayed publishing.

That’s why so many of these travel blog entries come out at later dates instead of right on Friday, which I have designated blog days, because I fall behind, or life gets in the way & the blog doesn’t end up being written in time.

So where is my Indonesia blog? Well in all honesty I have been weighing with posting the two day blog of Singapore first before diving, pun intended, into the week’s worth of content I have for Indonesia. I also arrived home around midnight on Wednesday & have not had the time or bandwidth to hash out a ten plus hour blog to post today or for the weekend so instead you get this, my long, drawn out excuse.

Don’t worry, there will be a travel blog post out next week. Whether that ends up being about Indonesia or Singapore remains to be seen, but something will be out, I promise. The scheduling for the postings may end up being a bit wonky as I head into the next couple of weeks & the further travel I have there but I will get them out!

In the meantime I hope you’ve enjoyed this blurb of honesty regarding the life of the blog behind the scenes & if you are at all interested in the adventures I had, I will have TikToks & Reels posted over the next few days from the trip!

Much love to you all,

-C

Blog: Hello Seasonal Depression, Welcome Back I Guess...

TW: Depression

I honestly can’t recall what my original plan was for today’s blog. I’m certain I had it burning in the back of my mind all day until I had this prompt come zipping in. I know a lot of you who read these weekly installments of my life & thoughts also suffer from mental maladies like myself but for those of you who don’t understand seasonal depression & the way if informs your life I wanted to share this simple story.

It’s incredibly hard to explain but I can feel when autumn starts to slip in, the air & sunlight shift from the bright warmth of summer to the almost artificial feeling of the late summer/early autumn sun. Again, hard to explain, but the tinge of sunlight shifts from a bright, clear all encompassing hot to an oddly indirect yellowed glow. There’s something different in the way the air smells too, it gains a mustiness & a stuffiness.

If you have seasonal depression you know exactly what I’m talking about because it exacts a sense of overwhelming dread. You try to ignore it, but you can feel it in your bones. You can feel the sun slipping farther away & feel the days begin to shrink.

I imagine it’s a lot like how plants feel. They follow the sun from Spring into Summer & then are forced to put a pause on all of the progress & growth they’ve made with the abundance of light & retreat into themselves to winterize.

If you don’t have seasonal depression I imagine you read the above three paragraphs with a “WTF” kind of expression on your face or images of lunacy in your head but those I know with the same affliction as me can attest to this.

Anyway, I felt the sun start to slip away about a week ago, at least that’s when it became noticeable to me internally. I remember I was running errands & was outside & it just hit me out of the blue. I managed to push past the sense of dread for the time being but then it hit me again a few days later, & again this afternoon.

The dread isn’t the depression part, the sense of foreboding does not automatically equate “seasonally depressed” that’s where the next step comes in.

I was walking through the freezer section of Sprouts today, picking up some Paleo hot pockets when my Depression Kitty came walking down the aisle (Big Mouth reference, if you get it, you get it). She strolled right up to my wrapped around my shoulders & dissolved into my body & immediately I wanted nothing more than to crawl into bed & not exist.

That’s more language that I’m sure is alarming to those with those blessed by the Serotonin Gods. When I say “crawl into bed & not exist” it has nothing to do with my will or lack of will to live, at least to me. I have no intentions of self harm, I just want to not exist, to dig a dark hole & lay in it for however long it takes. Again, I’m sure to a lot of you that sounds morbid but it’s the honest truth of how depression feels to me.

During depressive states I can lay wrapped up in bed doing absolutely nothing for hours. I don’t get bored or cry or anything, I simply lay & stare at the wall. I know it sounds SOOOOO productive to our Capitalist minds but existing in the void for a little while is what it is.

Do I wish I were different? That I wasn’t afflicted by it? Of course, but so do all who have to watch “normal” people live out there lives free of the hinderances of mental illness. It’s debilitating & the reason I write about it today is to help those of you who don’t understand to have a glimpse of what it’s like & for those of you that do, to know you have a kindred spirit in me who does understand.

One of the hardest things as someone who is both neuro-divergent & afflicted by SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder) is trying to make people who don’t have either understand what it’s like to be one of us. I have been blessed with the knowledge of words & the ability to convey things through them that I feel helps to put most of this in layman’s terms.

Being someone with SAD (so delicately named) can make you feel like an outsider, it can make you feel crazy, or truly detached from the world around you especially in Autumn & Early Winter. You are faced with a constant barrage of people who are so excited for the Fall or the Holidays; wearing sweaters, making soup, cozying up & you have to do your best not to let it hurt your feelings because to me & those like me, the colder months are a constant fight to keep your head above the surface, to not appear like a downer or an outsider. To people like me it often feels like celebrating the fall or winter is in some way celebrating the hardest time of the year from us & then rubbing it in our faces. Just like so many of you can’t relate to not loving all things autumn, we can’t relate to the feeling of liking it.

Let me be clear, this is not a “piss off, I don’t wanna hear about the things you like because they make me want to dissolve into a vapor,” type of post. I’m just trying to help you understand. I’m trying to help you see how your friends & loved ones who have SAD feel & maybe offer them a break or a little bit of patience.

Before I close out I know what the next line of this conversation will be; why don’t you get help? A lot of us do, myself included. During the cooler months my script for Bupropion switches from a base 150mg to 300 & that’s just to keep my head above water. There’s no simple answer to depression & what causes it & not every solution works for all of us. We still have days where just the act of getting out of bed is literally like hauling a piano up a flight of stairs even if you are medicated & at a healthy base line. Please be patient with us & know that even if we refuse your help, we always appreciate the ask. If you find yourself as someone who also finds the Earth’s gravity turned up to eleven during the cold, I see you & understand your pain. Help is out there & available, there are a ton of resources on line & many free clinics offered by civil services around the world. Don’t be afraid to ask for help, though I know how hard it can be at times.

Much love to you all as always,

Welcome to autumn I guess haha,

I’ll see you back here next week!

-C

Blog: Now You're Family

I swear this is my last blog about Fiji…unless you’d like it not to be, I’m sure I can squeeze another two or three stories & life lessons out of that amazing trip! For now I’ll leave you all with this blog in hopes that it leaves you as inspired & hopeful as the experience did me!

One thing I thing that ended up being very different from my expectation of Fiji was the reality of it. I think we’re often times, especially in the US, thought to view Fiji as the perpetual postcard; a place where no matter where you look you’ll find picturesque white sand beaches, palm trees, & crystal clear waters & while that does exist it is definitely an exception, not the rule.

Majority of the residents of Fiji live below, what we in the western world would deem, the poverty line. The housing of those who dwell on the islands often consist of tin roofed, one room homes with an outdoor kitchen & while I’m sure a lot of us would find this difficult, the Fijians don’t seem to let it dampen their spirits.

It’s true of a lot of tourism driven countries where the lives of those who were born & raised in said country live drastically different lives than what those visiting are presented with, it creates an odd disconnect. There’s a very odd feeling when you’ve spent x amount of dollars to fly halfway across the world, hop on a privately escorted shuttle service, & are being taken to a resort whose rooms are bigger than majority of the homes of those who reside there. It’s an odd disconnect when you’re met with something clearly meant to welcome visitors that often has an “off limits” feel to those whose country it is.

This is not the point of my blog, but I feel its worth mentioning in order to set the scene for what I want to talk about.

While riding in one of the aforementioned private escort shuttles to go river tubing I overheard a conversation between one of my fellow divers, Elaine, & our driver that day. Elaine had sat up front with the driver & the two had been talking for quite a while before he mentioned the following. He said to Elaine that even though the Fijians may not have the room or the food outright, there is always room at the table & room in the home for one more. That no matter how hard life appears they are always willing to sacrifice a little room or a little food for someone else. I soon found out this was a common feeling amongst the Fijian people.

I wish for the life of me I could remember our driver’s name that day, shame on me for forgetting the openness & outward kindness of a stranger, but he also mentioned that to Fijians, once you’ve been on to the islands once, you’re a part of them. He said that to his people each of us was now family & that at any given time their doors were open to us for as long as we wanted or needed.

Wouldn’t it be amazing if the rest of the world worked that way? Wouldn’t it be amazing if we all thought as such & acted as such? That no matter how hard things were for us, we always have the time & energy to embrace those who come knocking on our door & say “how can I help?”

You see it occurs to me that the people that have the most, the countries that have the most, are often the ones who are most cut off to helping their “family.” We were welcomed, graciously, into a home in a village with around twenty people. Asked to take a seat, to make ourselves comfortable, & were then offered a portion of the owner’s lunch. A lunch that he had to farm for six months to get to produce crop. He not only offered us up the portion, but the entirety of what he had to eat for that afternoon with a beaming smile & radiant joy! Why aren’t we all like that?

We, in the US, have so, so much. A lot of us do anyway. Yet we shut our hearts, homes, & borders off to those who desperately need to be welcomed, to be shown through the door, welcomed, & offered a plate & a seat at the table & if they are offered entry it’s usually with stipulations. You have to give your life to MY God, have to work towards MY system, have to do something for MY cause or life. Acts of kindness & support rarely come simply from the goodness of ones heart. We need to cut the divides, to cut the ego & the “I’m better than” attitudes, & proudly exclaim to those who come willingly to our door “now you’re family.”

I hope you have a fantastic weekend & find a little moment or two over the next week to make a stranger feel loved, even in the smallest capacity.

Much love to you all,

-C

Blog: Pre-Ji (A Pre-Fiji Blog)

For those of you that don’t follow me on my socials I for starters am not sure how you even made it here, but welcome! Give this a read & go follow me on things! Back to the thought at hand. For those of you that don’t follow me on my socials I am heading to Fiji today! In fact, at the point in which this blog is posted, I will be halfway to Fiji!

Why am I going to Fiji you ask? I’m going on a dive trip! So naturally you can also expect there to be travel blogs the next two weeks! The dive trip I’m going on is through the school that I did my course work for my initial certification through in Kansas, Midwest Aquatics. I’m unfamiliar with the vast majority of people going on the trip with the exception of Kathy, who did my classroom study & pool dives, & Darin, the owner of the dive shop. The trip is a week long & includes fifteen pre-planned dives along with any I want to add in along the way. Part of my diving will be receiving my deep water certification, my night & limited visibility certification & the total number of log dives to secure my rank as an advanced open water diver! In addition I’ll have at least two night dives & a shark dive with a fourteen foot tiger shark named Princess!

In addition to the dives we will also have cultural nights with local Fijians, several excursions to different sites around the islands, in addition to beach hangs & anything else we desire doing. As I sit on my friend Jenna’s couch writing this I am only five hours away from hoping aboard the roughly eleven hour flight.

Why is this the blog topic? Why was last week’s blog topic about why I love to dive so much? To put it plainly, I’m very excited!

Fiji has always been a bucket list destination for me. The culture, the beaches, the marine life, the cuisine, all of it has intrigued me since I was very young & it feels like I’m checking off a very large life goal box by going on this trip.

I’ve gotten the question from a few people who I mentioned the trip to regarding the fact that I am traveling “alone” but I honestly don’t mind it. I feel I’m fairly decent at being able to make friends anywhere I go & as an introvert time spent in solitude, even socially isolated. I am someone who spends a lot of time in my head & I find my time in contemplation very comforting. It allows me to narrow in on my own feelings & thoughts I dive deeper into my understanding of who I am as a person. Part of why I love diving too.

I think I’m going to keep today’s blog fairly brief. If you want to keep up with this adventure I’m embarking on please feel free to follow me on either TikTok or Instagram where I’ll be posting daily vlogs in addition to the travel blogs I’ll be writing here over the next few weeks! If you’re someone who has been missing Object Writing, don’t fear, those will return after I return to Nashville!

Much love to you all! Next time you’ll hear from me will be an ocean away!

-C

Blog: Finding Peace At The Bottom Of Ocean

I just landed in Burbank an hour or two ago & now sit basking in the mid-80s summer sun, typing out this blog on an iPad, a practice in patience compared to my normal full keyboard laptop. The reason that I am sans laptop is because I have done my best to pack minimal luggage even though a part of my voyage, the current leg, is meant to be for work. My minimalist packing approach this go round is because the second leg of my trip is taking me to Fiji on a scuba diving excursion.

While still fairly green to the leisurely sport of scuba, it has become an instant fascination of mine, & something I seem to have a knack for. I’ve been certified for just over a year & some change & have logged around ten total dive, this coming week I’ll be adding around fifteen more to that total!

So why the blog about Scuba diving? Well, aside from it being on my brain (I spent last night checking all of my gear & packing it meticulously before spending the morning lugging it around airports & North Hollywood), I often get the same set of questions when conversation shifts to diving. So I figured I’d dive, pun intended, into the topic on here!

I’ve always claimed a saltwater soul, I say if I spend too long away from an ocean I start to dry out & in a lot of ways that rings true. When I’m away from the ocean I feel my muscles slowly tense, my bones ache, & my skin yearns for sun. I find my peace below the surface, drifting in the currents.

I’ve swam almost the entirety of my life & I’m rather good at it! I would also definitely say that I’m built like a swimmer, triangular body & all. I, much like many millennials, had a fascination with the ocean & thought I’d grow up into a Marine Biologist some day. I even looked at going to school in San Diego, Hawaii, or Corpus Cristi to study Marine Biology & Veterinary Science. Essentially I wanted Adam Sandler’s job from the film 50 First Dates. Naturally my life took a different course, as here I sit creative writing preparing for writing sessions & such.

I don’t know why it took me so long to get dive certified, it was always something I found myself envious of anytime anyone I knew would talk about dives they’d done. My certification came as a gift actually, a suggestion from my parents as a birthday gift for my 28th year. I immediately took to it.

I got the course work & pool dives done at the same time as my father in Kansas before getting my open water certification in Maui. After that I added a few more dives in Maui as well as a few in Puerto Rico.

The most common question that I seem to get from non-divers is “aren’t you scared?” In short, no.

I do have to admit, my first non-shore dive, my first boat dive, I was nervous, even apprehensive about plunging ‘blindly’ into the ocean below. I knew that there would be a great distance between my entry & any obstacles such as reef or the bottom but it was the slight fear of being completely ‘exposed,’ of not having the beach as a safety line or a convenient escape back to land.

Once I was in the water, 40 feet down, & fluttering along that fear quickly dissipated. Now anytime I step into the depths unknown waiting below I feel nothing but excitement! Why? Because in diving I have gone past the previous limits I had in satiating my saltwater soul & have found a peace that seeps deep into my soul.

The cool thing about scuba, the obvious things aside, is that it allows you a state of neutral buoyancy. It allows you to float suspended in the water & grants you a state of true weightlessness. In addition to the beautiful, untapped surroundings, you now essentially get to experience the most basic feeling of aquatic life. Your plain of orientation is no longer limited to where your feet & gravity allow, you are free to truly navigate three dimensional space unrestrained.

The next great fear of folks seems to be that of the wildlife, mostly where sharks are concerned. There’s a term I’ve picked up on in my limited time diving that I hear circling around from time to time. Sea Puppies. That’s what some people who spend a lot of time diving or doing ocean related research have nicknamed sharks. You see you are more likely to die by being attacked by a cow or are more likely to be struck by lightning then you are to be bitten by a shark. Not killed, bitten.

Are sharks apex predators? Yes. Should they be respected as such? Absolutely. But just because you respect something doesn’t mean you need to fear it, just know the signs & be respectful of the animals & you’ll be more than fine!

The only fear that has crept into my mind where diving is concerned is that of the unknown. I have yet to do a dive where I cannot see the bottom, I have yet to do a dive at night & if I’m being honest, both of these scenarios frighten me, but much like my first step off the boat into deeper water, I know once I’ve checked the box it will no longer be a fear of mine.

This is something I’ve tried to adapt to my life of late. I’ve written on the topic a few times now but my friend Stephen Lovegrove always says “if it terrifies you, it’s probably the right step.” So take the step. Step off the boat into the open ocean, because often times unexplainable peace & serenity await you on the other side!

So something this week that scares you but that you know is the right step, I believe in you!

Let’s me know what that step ends up being for you & as always, much love to you all!

-C

Object Writing: Polaroid

We’re born into this world like a freshly snapped Polaroid; the image of who we are & what we contain takes time to develop. Sometimes, as this is happening, whether out of love or selfishness, people will try to point out our details to us, to guess or shape the image even as its still sits lost to obscurity. We, ourselves, often end up covering certain parts of the image as we violently shake to clear up the picture into what we hope it will be. We grip more & more tightly, pressing our fingers into the swirling black, preventing pivotal parts of our picture from developing properly. But lessons take time, nobody perfects life over night, especially if those lessons contain the parts of our beautifully composed photo that we’ve spent the longest amounts of time with our thumb pressed over.

Object Writing: Just Another Late Night

Reckless, we might’ve been. we were fearless, cause back then we didn’t care that we would be growing older, playing with aches & age, maybe time made us bolder & young love can’t help but fade away. But still you end up at my place every, single time. You’re always coming back my way when no one’ll hold you tight. I still save space for you, though I should make room for someone that’ll love me right, not just another late night. Tired, but I could sleep, you’re leaving me wired cause trying to keep a handle on the way that you need to use me. God, I must be insane. Somehow you phase right though the walls that I think I’ve made. But still you end up at my place every, single time. You’re always coming back my way when no one’ll hold you tight. I still save space for you, though I should make room for someone that’ll love me right, not just another late night. Please leave the keys with me next time you run cause I need to close the door on us. But still you’ll end up at my place every, single time. You’re always coming back my way when no one’ll hold you tight. I still save space for you, though I should make room for someone that’ll love me right, not just another late night.

Blog: No Hate Like Christian Love

Hold up, hold up, hold up. I know a few of you have read that title & immediately gone into defensive mode & have a paragraph long comment ready, but how about we hear what I’m trying to say first? I think it’s also worth noting for the assumed bias of this blog that I myself identify as Christian, though I am far beyond the point of disillusionment with the church at this point & if we’re being honest so are a lot of people these days.

America has seen a drastic drop in new christians or individuals attending churches in the last few decades but for the life of a lot of the religious leaders they can’t seem to figure out why. They blame it on the media, they blame it on culture, on politicians, on x, y, z, but never seem to want to look internally. You see, so many of us who no longer find ourselves as congregational regulars grew up in churches; we grew up going to Sunday school & vacation bible school & lived through all of the “keep the Christ in Christmas” ish & those who remain in the hallowed halls don’t seem to understand why we don’t want to go back or actively attend those churches any longer. The answer is a simple one, we learned about Jesus, his way, his light, & we didn’t see his teachings being implemented, practiced, or reflected by those within the church, so we left. Truly I say unto you the most Christ-like individuals I’ve even known have a strong distain for the church.

To put this all in perspective the statement in the title above has become one that I’ve seen expressed more & more frequently over the last few years, “no hate like christian love.” If you as someone who identifies as such don’t see that & immediately see the problem I hate to break it to you, but I think you’ve missed the point of your religion. Christianity has become so synonymous with hate, bigotry, white nationalism, fascism, misogyny, homophobia/transphobia, xenophobia, islamophobia, racism, etc. that the statement “no hate like christian love” rings true to very large groups of individuals. So much of our culture’s pain & modern reliance unfortunately owes itself to years & years of religious trauma & continued attempts at oppression.

In recent years the US political climate has become more & more divisive swinging aggressively more & more towards a fascist right. Those leading that charge are claiming to do so in the name of God, they say God is disappearing from a country that was never a theocracy & founded itself on the principles of religious freedom, meaning freedom from others forcing their religion views onto you, & want to bring America back into its “former greatness.” A “former greatness” that holds a lot of pain, suffering, & lack of rights for those who find themselves in minority groups. Tell me, where are the teachings of Jesus in that? The campaigns of these Christian Nationalists go entirely against the teachings of Christ. They actively shun & vilify the “foreigner,” the needy, the immigrant, the refugee, the less fortunate, the different, the other. They propose laws to limit rights of these individuals, they strip back protections in place that give these individuals a chance at having an equal life to them, & they do so all in the name of “christian love.”

Often there is a bubble created around a church community, a church home if you will. This is a place, in theory, meant to allow you to feel love unconditionally from your fellow christians, to have support systems in place that allow you to express your pains & burdens freely & get support while remaining unjudged. I have never felt more judged or more completely ostracized than by members of the church who often use their born again status as a means to justify their hatefulness when things don’t fit their preconceived mold. Now people are looking around & seeing a congregation that reflects one way of being, one style of life, often limited diversity from a nationality, race, sexuality, gender identity, & social class & finding it lacking. They see themselves & the world more represented in the faces of their peers & diversified friend groups than they do in the pews on any given Sunday.

The bubble also often acts as a safe haven for abusers. We all know, very effectively the crimes of the Catholic church, thanks to the journalists at Spotlight out of Boston, but this guard isn’t limited to the catholic church. I’ve heard innumerable stories regarding the handing of abuse within the church. Higher ups will make excuses for abusers & protect them at all costs instead of hearing out the side of the abused. They refuse to acknowledge the often ugly side of humanity & outwardly condemn these actions that overall harm the community at large & weaken the bonds of a church.

The complete & utter lack of critical thinking is also a major deterrent for those looking to join the church. So much of the counter culture that christians justify with the bible has either been altered completely for political agendas (see the RSV translation of 1946) or completely lacks historical context. There also happens to be a lot of picking & choosing which verses to follow & which to omit completely from the modern dichotomy because “things were different back then.” It’s blatant hypocrisy & when faced with facts alternative to the fiction they’ve painted in their heads or carried their whole lives they refuse to even consider the possibility of them no matter who it harms or what damage it does to their brothers & sisters in Christ or the world at large.

If we as Christians were truly following the ways of Christ we’d embrace those around us with open arms, celebrating what makes them different & unique. We’d help refugees & immigrants unconditionally. We wouldn’t hoard wealth & covet riches when so many are doing everything in their power just to have a scrap of food to eat. We’d lovingly take preventative measures to insure that our neighbors & those at higher risks can remain safe & disease free. We’d recognize the disconnect & disadvantages certain communities & minorities have systematically & do everything in our power to overturn them. We’d be voting for people who want to help the less fortunate, not ostracize them. We’d be embracing our children for who they are whole heartedly not kicking them out of our homes or shaming them. I personally believe that Christ would be disgusted by the modern church & those in attendance & clearly a growing majority feels the same way. I think we need to take "no hate like christian love” as a major red flag & find ways to correct course immediately, taking proactive measures to correct the damage done to those who are bearing the brunt of the “love.”

I hope this blog wasn’t too much of a rant or a finger wag, I also hope most of you made it through this. This world deserves better, the people in our communities deserve better. I know at the end of the day we’re all human but if the saying goes “they’ll know we are christians by our love” then it should be love people know christians by, not the over abundance of hate radiating from the steeples.

I hope you all have a great weekend,

As always, much love to you all!

-C

Object Writing: Cinnamon

The ancients said it contained good fortune, that it would whisk your dreams & abundance from their hidey holes & send them careening towards you, a cosmic hack to elevate your vibrations & magnetize your highest good. I can understand why, just the touch of its soft warm caress against my olfactory centers fills me with bubbling comfort & an unbridled sense of security. Each tightly wound spiral of toasty brown bark can't help but curve a smile onto your face. Each homey flush spreads the promise of sanctuary across the tongue. Believe in it what you will but there's no denying the reassuring hospitality cinnamon seeps into our daily lives.

Blog: Make A Wish, Take A Chance, Make A Change, & Breakaway

Earlier this week I received a message from my friend Jared at Country Music Allies. He’s putting on a few shows this week, CMA week, & was asking if I would be willing to host the one on Friday (today) in his place. My initial reaction was an honest one, I’ve never hosted an event before & truly don’t consider myself to be amongst the great public speakers of the world so I was hesitant. He insisted that I would make a great host & that all I would be doing is introducing & not so much M.C.ing, so I told him I’d take the night to think about it.

The more I weighed the idea of hosting in my mind, the more uncomfortable it made me. I felt I wouldn't know what to say or that I’d make a fool of myself, but then my mind proposed the question “so what?”

It’s a simple question really “so what?” It really clears the air of anxiety & hypotheticals & creates way for logic to step in. So what if I screw it up & make a fool of myself? The people performing are lovely humans, some of which I know fairly well, they’ll definitely show me some grace, as will the audience who I’m sure will be primarily compromised of those within the queer community, especially if I’m honest in voicing my discomfort. Truly there is nothing to fear in accepting this role. So I did.

I texted Jared the following morning to tell him that the idea of hosting the event made me uncomfortable as hell which probably meant that I should do it. So tonight I guess I’m hosting an event! Let’s hope that come next week we don’t end up with another blog in the same vein of how I epically failed my callback a couple of months back only subbing out the “callback” for “hosting position.”

Additionally, I’ve had a lot of content come up this week around songwriting that lives in the same vein of thought. A writer who I follow & respect dearly said she spent 10 years in the industry writing songs that felt “meh” like they were good songs but nothing she was writing was great or moving the needle. She said the moment I stopped restraining myself & my thoughts was the moment I started writing great music. Her recommendation was that if you want to write a great song about a scenario or relationship you have to be bare. Go into a notebook & write unrestrained, uncensored about the topic until you feel you’ve purged your feelings thoroughly, then, once that is done, go back & find the sentences that make you say “oh, that’s too much” or “I could never say that out loud” & put that in your song! Those are the lyrics that end up connecting deeply to an audience.

If you haven’t noticed the common thread here is taking chances. This has been a week full of chance taking for me & those around be doing the same. Last night, my friend Chris Housman premiered a new single of his called “The Bible Belt” something he was incredibly nervous to play in public because it talks about all the ways he’s still recovering from how he was beat with “the bible belt,” it received ravenous applause. I went downtown to try & convince people to pre-save my upcoming single in exchange for a keychain, basically dry soliciting, something that makes me very uncomfortable. I then, while I was walking around, ended up doing a “finish that line” karaoke thing that got me a few more followers as well!

The point is take chances! Do the thing that makes you uncomfortable, be bold & unafraid to muck it all up! Put yourself out there, the worst people can say is no…I guess aside from cussing you out. But what I seem to be finding is that if you are who you are, unapologetically, the right people will find you, the right people will hear what they need to hear, & you’ll go so much farther in life & be so much happier in the long run.

Keeping it brief today as, like I said above, it’s CMA week & it’s packed out for me!

If you’re in Nashville this weekend come find me! I play at The Bowery Vault tomorrow evening around 9PM & will probably just be around also!

I hope you have the most fantastic of weekends!

Be safe, much love to you all!

-C

Object Writing: Fireflies

The mid-summer haze plants the seed of their terrestrial bound, celestial display. Lofted delicately into the air by humidity & paper thin wings they begin their musing spectacle of courtship. They paint ever shifting, continuously rearranging constellations upon the evening air, flashing their messages of availability & attraction, pining for those hidden in the vivacious green below. These fireflies are the first signal of summer; the first indicator that Ostara has ended her great, bounding resurrection & has passed her revitalized bounty off to Sol, lengthen the days & bleeding warmth into night. I’ve always been overjoyed by the presence of these, their comfort hangs in the air along side the heat of the day, enrobing me in a truly childlike sense of imagination & wanderlust. It’s my greatest pleasure to know them & an indescribable gift to witness their light.

Blog: The New American Dream

Earlier this week, after the horrific events in Texas & the egregious mishandling & lack of policy change that went along with it, a friend of mine posted a prompt on their story. They were asking any one of their followers to give any insight that they had on how to legally bow out of the United States. I can already feel some of you turning off after reading that but this is a genuine sentiment shared by much of those the Millennial & Gen Z age range. We feel this country is sliding further & further away from the ideals & policies we’d like to see in place & is being continuously run by outdated, out of touch politicians. Whether you agree with that statement or not is beside the point, it’s fact.

We live in a country where Millennials are still being forced to rent well into their thirties because the housing market is outlandishly high & wages are outlandishly low. We live in a country where people use seeking medical help is a very last resort & even then people would often rather suffer than go into outrageous medical debt. We are one of the only “first world” countries without Universal Healthcare, Paid Medical Leave, Paid Vacation Time, Proper Work/Life Balance, Comprehensive Gun Laws, Prioritized Free Education Systems, Etc. And those, especially in the older generations, who are happy with the state of things because it does them no harm, don’t understand how we can look at countries like The UK, Canada, Australia, Singapore, Japan, New Zealand, those in Scandinavia & majority of The EU, etc., & want for that.

So often the narrative in this country is that we are free, so so free, but free to what? The truth of the matter is that most Americans have no idea what true freedom is. True freedom is not the ability to do something, it is the ability to not have to worry about something. To not have to worry about choosing your health, their job, or going into debt, to not have to worry about getting shot in your school, place of worship, grocery store, etc., to not have to worry about being able to afford education that will propel you into jobs that aren’t soul sucking, to not worry if the next day some lobbied politician will strip your rights away, to not have to worry if your work will allow you time to still see your friends, family, maintain a social life, etc. True freedom is bliss, not ignorant bliss, but having systems in place that allow for their citizens to live, not just be cogs in the capitalist machine.

The new American dream has become that of Exodus. We want so badly to get out because we see that the storm is only getting worse along the horizon. We see how people live, truly live, in other countries & we envy that. I don’t profess to have the answers to the current American problems because they are innumerable from what I can see, I’m just here to inform, to recognize a common thread that I see becoming more & more apparent.

I, myself, have had this idea at the forefront of my brain. The impending & current doom of the states has me looking furiously for exits, seeing where I can be grandfathered into citizenship, who offers college programs, etc. Do I want to leave America? No, if I had a choice to stay & fix everything or leave I’d gladly pick the former but it’s becoming more & more apparent that we may have slipped far beyond repair.

You want to save this country? Stop electing self righteous, hateful nut jobs who are so out of touch with the people they represent & start electing people that care for the future of America, not its present.

I don’t want to have to leave this country but I fear that is where we are rapidly heading. I know a lot of you my age who are reading this feel the same & I wish I had an easy answer for you all, but I don’t. I think this November will be the deciding line for a lot of people with the threats against America’s established laws via privacy (Roe V. Wade, Oberfell V. Hodges, etc.), the fight to finally have some form of gun control, & the continued marginalization happening, I fear if this election season goes poorly the mass exodus will be in full swing.

I hope you have a great weekend & don’t weigh too heavily on all this, there is always a way out & always hope, keep pressing on.

-C