Blog: A Year Of COVID & The Lesson Within

Well. Here we are. A year later & still, we’re here…well, at least many of us are.

I was talking with my friend Lindsay the other day & she brought up a time during the first two weeks of quarantine in which I offhandedly made a comment something to the effect of making plans for when life goes back to normal in just a couple of weeks, little did I know just how wrong I was. I guess hindsight is 20/20 but man, has it been a year.

I entered quarantine on March 12th, 2020 as many of us did, fully expecting life to be back to normal by April. I couldn’t have imagined a year later finally, just now, getting glimpses of the light at the end of this miserable, virus laced tunnel. I guess that’s a clear sign that fortune telling isn’t my calling.

Pre-quarantine I’d planned out my year right up until about midsummer. I was planning to fly to Barcelona in order to premiere “Obliterated” with Hektor Mass, I was in the studio, in the middle of recording “When He Was Me,” & had planned a post-Stagecouch radio tour for the UK in late April/Early May. Needless to say none of these things ended up happening. I’ll be honest though, I held out hope for those last two, especially in the early days, but blatant government mismanagement quickly put an end to those plans. I really didn’t mind the first two weeks of this whole mess. It felt like a little vacation, a respite that the entire world was taking together, a massive global inhale. I think things changed around the time of my 28th birthday. April 16th.

I’ve always been of a mind that we as humans should celebrate the anniversary of our own births joyously; doing the things that make us happy despite exterior input or perceived extravagance. I tell my friends often to celebrate their birthdays by doing something they’d be thrilled to do alone & if others choose to join & be a part of that, great! If not, then your day is still your own & yours to celebrate however you see fit. I was incapable of doing what I wanted for mine this last year but fortunately I am surrounded by a lot of amazing people who threw me an incredible virtual birthday despite the circumstances. At the time I was doing daily “silver-linings,” essentially little videos I’d post on my instagram story that were meant to put a little bit of hope back into a wildly uncertain world. Eventually those faded out, not out of lack of desire to create them but more out of fatigue & in my mind, lack of visible hope.

This past year hit me hard. Luckily I have been fortunate enough not to have lost anyone near & dear to me as so many have but as someone who has struggled their entire adult life with depression, things really haven’t been easy. Where a lot of people were able to continue working virtually, I had been doing supplemental work in person, a job I could no longer do. In addition to that, the job I’m passionate about, music, came to a screeching halt. All the progress & momentum I felt I had made or was making felt like it’d been thrown out the window. On top of all of that I found myself in the high risk category for COVID, having spent the last year & a half dealing with respiratory issues so my options for work were limited, further so perpetuated by the surmounting unemployment crisis we’re facing in this country.

It’s hard to find inspiration as a songwriter in a life without novelty buried in the monotony of it all. It’s hard to get up every day to the same Groundhog’s Day hellscape & try to force inspiration & drive. Coasting becomes your default, simple tasks being to feel like unscalable mountains, & your life becomes a stagnant void where you always feel like you’re just sitting around waiting on your life to begin all the while aging. Harder still is watching how truly selfish some of your peers can be. So many continued life as if nothing was happening; people played shows, went to massive get togethers, went out, all while completely ignoring CDC guidelines that could have helped return life to normal for all of us long ago. Trust me when I say, those of us who have been doing out best day to day will remember who you are.

COVID has shown a light on just how much some member of our society just don’t give a shit about others. This was further magnified in the wake of the Black Lives Matter movement that happened over the summer & the divisive at best November election season. We talk a lot about how much we care for those around us or practice religions where that is one of the core tenets but when it really comes down to it we have a massive shortage of empathy & compassion. For me the last year has proven that ten fold.

We have to be better. We have to see the struggling, the hurt, the disenfranchised, those without privilege, or those at high risk of whatever (not just COVID) & put our selfishness aside to truly help out “the least of these.” This pandemic & the last year have provided ample opportunity for that & we as a society have fallen short time & time again. Even within the last week & the surmounting hate against those in our asian communities, we have fallen short. It’s disheartening, it’s frustrating, & it’s down right infuriating. I hope we will do better. I hope on the other side of COVID-19 lies a brighter world & I guess in the end that’s what I’m holding out hope for. We have to be the change we want to see, the burden doesn’t fall on others. I choose to see the message that the divine has nailed into our heads all year long & accept the challenge. Will you do the same?

Blog: Lover In The Sheets, Bigot In The Streets

Hi folks, how’re we doing? I hope the answer is incredible!

Earlier this week I had the privilege of consuming Homecoming King by Hasan Minhaj, his hour & some change comedy special on Netflix. In said comedy special Hasan effortlessly balances comedy & tragedy by telling the story of his life as an Islamic Indian American living in California. Hasan’s experience that he describes has a definite through line that carries across time & is still very poignant today, despite most of it having happened over ten to fifteen years ago. It is a point that I found extremely relevant to our modern political climate here in the state, though I think it translates overseas as well. Hasan, who rose to prominence through The Daily Show with John Stewart as well as his own show, Patriot Act, lays out this ostracizing of groups he refers to as “the other” within American society & highlights a problem that many of us who identify as “not racist” seem to want to ignore. I think this blog will end up being something similar to my blog regarding LGBTQIA+ affirmation but it incorporates the broader topic of not only sexuality or gender identify but also race. These topics have commonalities, though they are altogether inherently different. However, for the sake of this argument, for the sake of “the other” we’ll be incorporating the two together as I’d like to further add to Hasan’s point. I think the best place to start here is with the simplicity that Hasan distills this down to. One simple phrase that I’m sure we’ve all heard or thought;

What. Will. People. Think?

You see in Hasan’s narrative he comes face to face with two very distinct types of racism; having his family threatened & the windows of their car smashed out the evening of September 11th, 2001, and not being allowed to take his white date to prom because there were going to be pictures, evidence she had gone with someone they considered to be “other.” Naturally I’d like to focus on the latter here as the former, while it still runs rampant, at the very least is outwardly & actively frowned upon by those who actually have a brain between their ears. I want to talk about that silent form of bigotry, the kind that sneaks up, that makes you lock your car doors in that “bad” neighborhood, the kind that says “love the sinner, not the sin,” the kind that causes you to save face. That’s they kind I want to shine a light on here.

You see the most heartbreaking part about Hasan’s story, to me, is not necessarily that it happened, because any person of color will tell you, racism happens just as any LGBTQIA+ person will tell you homophobia/transphobia happen, just as any non-christian will tell you xenophobia happens. (Not that it’s okay that they do, but they do happen.) The thing that is heartbreaking is that Hasan thought these people were different; this was a white family who under normal circumstances had welcomed him into their home, had broken bread with him, treated him like an equal, had gone as far as to tell him they loved him but when it came time to do so in the public eye their love had conditions. Hasan couldn’t go to prom with their daughter not because “they didn’t love him” or think he was a stand up lad but because there would be pictures of them together, people would see their daughter with someone they considered to be a part of “the other.” At first a lot of us may be thinking, shame on them, I would never, & that may be true, you may never but I can’t help think further down the rabbit hole on this.

Let me ask you this. How many queer individuals have “accepting” parents that introduce their partner as their friend or roommate? How non-binary or trans individuals have people in their lives that don’t honor their chosen pronouns? How many people exclude a particular person because they wouldn’t fit the rest of the group simply based on their racial or religious background? How many keep in tact the boys club solely on merit or shame other cultures simply because they don’t understand them & have no interest in trying to? Isn’t it amazing how loud actions often contradict the words of those who claim to not have fear or prejudice living in their hearts?

What will people think?

Screw that.

Who the hell cares?!

Love with conditions is neither love nor is it worth your time. If your precious image is more important to you than loving another human, and I mean truly loving them as they are, not as you’d like them to be or as society or your faith says you should then you are no better than those who scream slurs from the side of the street. Be better. Choose to be better, choose love first, we’d all be a lot better off.

Much love to you all,

Thanks for reading!