Peace

Blog: Finding Peace At The Bottom Of Ocean

I just landed in Burbank an hour or two ago & now sit basking in the mid-80s summer sun, typing out this blog on an iPad, a practice in patience compared to my normal full keyboard laptop. The reason that I am sans laptop is because I have done my best to pack minimal luggage even though a part of my voyage, the current leg, is meant to be for work. My minimalist packing approach this go round is because the second leg of my trip is taking me to Fiji on a scuba diving excursion.

While still fairly green to the leisurely sport of scuba, it has become an instant fascination of mine, & something I seem to have a knack for. I’ve been certified for just over a year & some change & have logged around ten total dive, this coming week I’ll be adding around fifteen more to that total!

So why the blog about Scuba diving? Well, aside from it being on my brain (I spent last night checking all of my gear & packing it meticulously before spending the morning lugging it around airports & North Hollywood), I often get the same set of questions when conversation shifts to diving. So I figured I’d dive, pun intended, into the topic on here!

I’ve always claimed a saltwater soul, I say if I spend too long away from an ocean I start to dry out & in a lot of ways that rings true. When I’m away from the ocean I feel my muscles slowly tense, my bones ache, & my skin yearns for sun. I find my peace below the surface, drifting in the currents.

I’ve swam almost the entirety of my life & I’m rather good at it! I would also definitely say that I’m built like a swimmer, triangular body & all. I, much like many millennials, had a fascination with the ocean & thought I’d grow up into a Marine Biologist some day. I even looked at going to school in San Diego, Hawaii, or Corpus Cristi to study Marine Biology & Veterinary Science. Essentially I wanted Adam Sandler’s job from the film 50 First Dates. Naturally my life took a different course, as here I sit creative writing preparing for writing sessions & such.

I don’t know why it took me so long to get dive certified, it was always something I found myself envious of anytime anyone I knew would talk about dives they’d done. My certification came as a gift actually, a suggestion from my parents as a birthday gift for my 28th year. I immediately took to it.

I got the course work & pool dives done at the same time as my father in Kansas before getting my open water certification in Maui. After that I added a few more dives in Maui as well as a few in Puerto Rico.

The most common question that I seem to get from non-divers is “aren’t you scared?” In short, no.

I do have to admit, my first non-shore dive, my first boat dive, I was nervous, even apprehensive about plunging ‘blindly’ into the ocean below. I knew that there would be a great distance between my entry & any obstacles such as reef or the bottom but it was the slight fear of being completely ‘exposed,’ of not having the beach as a safety line or a convenient escape back to land.

Once I was in the water, 40 feet down, & fluttering along that fear quickly dissipated. Now anytime I step into the depths unknown waiting below I feel nothing but excitement! Why? Because in diving I have gone past the previous limits I had in satiating my saltwater soul & have found a peace that seeps deep into my soul.

The cool thing about scuba, the obvious things aside, is that it allows you a state of neutral buoyancy. It allows you to float suspended in the water & grants you a state of true weightlessness. In addition to the beautiful, untapped surroundings, you now essentially get to experience the most basic feeling of aquatic life. Your plain of orientation is no longer limited to where your feet & gravity allow, you are free to truly navigate three dimensional space unrestrained.

The next great fear of folks seems to be that of the wildlife, mostly where sharks are concerned. There’s a term I’ve picked up on in my limited time diving that I hear circling around from time to time. Sea Puppies. That’s what some people who spend a lot of time diving or doing ocean related research have nicknamed sharks. You see you are more likely to die by being attacked by a cow or are more likely to be struck by lightning then you are to be bitten by a shark. Not killed, bitten.

Are sharks apex predators? Yes. Should they be respected as such? Absolutely. But just because you respect something doesn’t mean you need to fear it, just know the signs & be respectful of the animals & you’ll be more than fine!

The only fear that has crept into my mind where diving is concerned is that of the unknown. I have yet to do a dive where I cannot see the bottom, I have yet to do a dive at night & if I’m being honest, both of these scenarios frighten me, but much like my first step off the boat into deeper water, I know once I’ve checked the box it will no longer be a fear of mine.

This is something I’ve tried to adapt to my life of late. I’ve written on the topic a few times now but my friend Stephen Lovegrove always says “if it terrifies you, it’s probably the right step.” So take the step. Step off the boat into the open ocean, because often times unexplainable peace & serenity await you on the other side!

So something this week that scares you but that you know is the right step, I believe in you!

Let’s me know what that step ends up being for you & as always, much love to you all!

-C

Blog: Lover In The Sheets, Bigot In The Streets

Hi folks, how’re we doing? I hope the answer is incredible!

Earlier this week I had the privilege of consuming Homecoming King by Hasan Minhaj, his hour & some change comedy special on Netflix. In said comedy special Hasan effortlessly balances comedy & tragedy by telling the story of his life as an Islamic Indian American living in California. Hasan’s experience that he describes has a definite through line that carries across time & is still very poignant today, despite most of it having happened over ten to fifteen years ago. It is a point that I found extremely relevant to our modern political climate here in the state, though I think it translates overseas as well. Hasan, who rose to prominence through The Daily Show with John Stewart as well as his own show, Patriot Act, lays out this ostracizing of groups he refers to as “the other” within American society & highlights a problem that many of us who identify as “not racist” seem to want to ignore. I think this blog will end up being something similar to my blog regarding LGBTQIA+ affirmation but it incorporates the broader topic of not only sexuality or gender identify but also race. These topics have commonalities, though they are altogether inherently different. However, for the sake of this argument, for the sake of “the other” we’ll be incorporating the two together as I’d like to further add to Hasan’s point. I think the best place to start here is with the simplicity that Hasan distills this down to. One simple phrase that I’m sure we’ve all heard or thought;

What. Will. People. Think?

You see in Hasan’s narrative he comes face to face with two very distinct types of racism; having his family threatened & the windows of their car smashed out the evening of September 11th, 2001, and not being allowed to take his white date to prom because there were going to be pictures, evidence she had gone with someone they considered to be “other.” Naturally I’d like to focus on the latter here as the former, while it still runs rampant, at the very least is outwardly & actively frowned upon by those who actually have a brain between their ears. I want to talk about that silent form of bigotry, the kind that sneaks up, that makes you lock your car doors in that “bad” neighborhood, the kind that says “love the sinner, not the sin,” the kind that causes you to save face. That’s they kind I want to shine a light on here.

You see the most heartbreaking part about Hasan’s story, to me, is not necessarily that it happened, because any person of color will tell you, racism happens just as any LGBTQIA+ person will tell you homophobia/transphobia happen, just as any non-christian will tell you xenophobia happens. (Not that it’s okay that they do, but they do happen.) The thing that is heartbreaking is that Hasan thought these people were different; this was a white family who under normal circumstances had welcomed him into their home, had broken bread with him, treated him like an equal, had gone as far as to tell him they loved him but when it came time to do so in the public eye their love had conditions. Hasan couldn’t go to prom with their daughter not because “they didn’t love him” or think he was a stand up lad but because there would be pictures of them together, people would see their daughter with someone they considered to be a part of “the other.” At first a lot of us may be thinking, shame on them, I would never, & that may be true, you may never but I can’t help think further down the rabbit hole on this.

Let me ask you this. How many queer individuals have “accepting” parents that introduce their partner as their friend or roommate? How non-binary or trans individuals have people in their lives that don’t honor their chosen pronouns? How many people exclude a particular person because they wouldn’t fit the rest of the group simply based on their racial or religious background? How many keep in tact the boys club solely on merit or shame other cultures simply because they don’t understand them & have no interest in trying to? Isn’t it amazing how loud actions often contradict the words of those who claim to not have fear or prejudice living in their hearts?

What will people think?

Screw that.

Who the hell cares?!

Love with conditions is neither love nor is it worth your time. If your precious image is more important to you than loving another human, and I mean truly loving them as they are, not as you’d like them to be or as society or your faith says you should then you are no better than those who scream slurs from the side of the street. Be better. Choose to be better, choose love first, we’d all be a lot better off.

Much love to you all,

Thanks for reading!