Opportunity

Blog: My Scarcity Loop

I’ve noticed something in the last couple of weeks, internally, I’ve noticed it. I think it’s something I touched lightly upon in my last blog from………three weeks ago……………but I think it’s coming more & more into focus the more that time goes by & the longer that I sit with it. I’m in a scarcity loop.

I think when we talk about scarcity, often the most immediate response within our minds is that of the financial, or something else resource based. We think to ourselves “oh, I don’t have enough money,” or “I’m running out of money.” Along the lines of further resource scarcity (cuz let’s face it, money is a resource) you also have fear of running out of food or not being able to get the store for whatever reason, or a fear of limited or restricted access to clean water whether that’s due to something geographical, political, or financial. Whatever the resource that is lacking or that we have the fear of it becoming a luxury, we tend to think of that when we picture our scarcity mindsets or our scarcity loops. That’s not necessarily where mine follows.

Earlier this year I faced a pretty large rejection. I’ve spoken about it here a number of times & try not to continue doing so, because it is something I need to move on with. And while the rejection came with an email explaining how it wasn’t any reflection of me as an artist or as a talent, I think a part of me internalized that & definitely took it as such. This opportunity that I’d hoped on for literal months, felt like it might be a huge step & a boost in visibility for me. I got excited at the prospect of what it could mean for me & my career just to be shut out from it & have the months I spent in waiting, & the months I spent not planning for future things, mean nothing. Maybe there’s a lesson there that I’m missing still, but at any rate, it sunk me into this place of isolation & creative detachment.

I felt my voice wasn’t good enough (something I feel often & that definitely needs some internal working on), I felt that I wasn’t a good enough songwriter or a good enough artist, that what I thought I had to offer the world wasn’t & isn’t enough. My scarcity loop developed not around physical resources, but around my creativity, around my vocal prowess, around my abilities as a songwriter & for all intents & purposes, reality backed that up. At least the reality that I could see.

I stopped getting asked to write, or sing, or perform in general. I saw opportunity flourishing in everyone around me but I was stuck feeling glum & defeated, thinking ‘maybe this is for everyone else & not for me. Maybe this is a dream that isn’t for me. Maybe I should give up & go do God knows what because it’s stable & not heartbreaking.’

My scarcity loop then took on what I called a liminal space. This place outside of reality where I was stuck waiting. I felt like a boat cast out to see into the dark, foggy night with no sense of direction & no desire to even pick up the paddles & row. To a degree I feel like I’m still there, though now I’m starting to see the whirlpool that has kept me adrift in the nothing all of this time.

My scarcity loop reminds me constantly of my age, my lack of credits, my lack of connections, my lack of quality vocal health, my lack of opportunity, my lack of trying, my lack of putting out any music whatsoever this year, even though my PR firm is nice enough to check in on me from time to time & say “we’re still rooting for you, let us know when we can get back to work on your behalf. It’s all just lack. Lack, lack, lack. & there it is, the loop. The whirlpool. The all consuming maw of spiraling depression, torturous anxiety, & self depreciation. Why can’t I just get up & do it? Why can’t I write or create or show up on socials for the world? Why am I so self isolating & piteous of my status? Why can’t it be me?

But that’s the problem isn’t it? We humans are really good at digging our own graves & finding, much as we predicted & focused on, we ended up buried six feet down. I am a firm believer in the laws of attraction & the signal I’ve been putting out into the aether has been one of “lack, lack, lack.” So what do I end up sowing other than exactly that?

So I’m navigating the loop. I’m swirling the whirlpool, but I think it’s time I picked up the oars & started fighting harder against the current instead of just dipping my hands in to paddle & giving up instantly because ‘what’s even the point?’ It’s time I recenter. It’s time I plot a course & turn this loop into a centrifuge that launches me into the next great thing. & even if I have no idea what that is or where that road leads, it’s time I had the trust enough to sail away into the abyss knowing that greater shores lay in wait for me to set my feet upon them.

As always, much love to you all,

-C

Blog: Well...Now What?...

Hi, sorry, sorry. I know I’ve been a touch absent the last two weeks. My b, y’all. I’m gonna be real with you though, & yes this will play into this week’s topic, but I have been going through it mentally. Ya boy is not doing the hottest at the moment & while there are a couple of compounding reasons for that, we’re just going to focus on one.

Back in October I got the opportunity to audition for something rather major. They liked me & wanted to move me forward in the process, but part of that process included blocking off my calendar from about March of this year til at least end of June/July, if not farther. I wasn’t allowed to book anything that might compete with said opportunity & it was highly insinuated that I should limit, if not halt, my releases. I waited & waited with no final word on whether I was in or not until two weeks ago when I got the email that they had decided to pass on me & wouldn’t be going forward with me as an artist for said opportunity. In all honesty, I kind of felt like I saw it coming, which in turn may have then put that energy out into the world to have it come to be. A few people close to me, who knew about the opportunity, were blind sided. They were all sure that I was going to go on to be a part of it, but alas the stars did not align on this one & I set aside my time & energy & said no to many an other opportunity &/or show for nothing. Now I find myself sitting around, stuck in the question & feeling of ‘well….now what?…’

The annoying part is, aside from the 5 months I spent waiting for an answer & the hold for nothing I had in place, is that I also made space for this in my life outside of those two defining ways. I held hope in my heart & in my life that this ‘could be life changing’ opportunity would come to fruition & it didn’t. Unceremoniously. Via email on a Tuesday afternoon in March. & in all honesty, I didn’t know how to move on from that.

It was one of those things where the longer it went on the more I ended up getting excited for it. I took the occasional “please continue to wait” email as a sign that there was hope of this coming to fruition, just to be dropped so capriciously. It sank me y’all. I had spent so many months & so much energy thinking that finally, finally someone was going to see my potential, finally someone else saw my worth & that this door that I believed wide open to me was, only to find out that it had never even been unlocked. I felt ultimately defeated.

I know I shouldn’t have put as much stock in this as I did, it’s just this time something felt different, like this person that I know I am & that many of you know I am was finally going to blast into the spotlight. It hurt. I had a very hard time with it, it dug down deep in me & left a whole in the place where my self worth used to live. Again, I know I should never have let it get that deep or feel that important, but it felt like something that could have been a springboard for me career-wise. Now I’m left holding the space that I allotted, the energy I invested, & the opportunities that I turned down for nothing & I’m having a very hard time not only recalibrating myself but also getting excited about my future.

To be blunt I feel like the path has disappeared from before me & know I’m just wandering aimlessly, waiting for the next path to appear so that I can continue on down it. I’m feeling a bit lost in the woods at the moment. My motivation is shot, my creativity is shot, & I’m feeling rather jaded at the moment from the whole experience.

I’m not writing all of this for you all to take pity on me, if anything I want the opposite. I wish, so desperately, that I could say it didn’t phase me. That I got the news & immediately said “well, that’s fine, I’ve got better things to do anyway.” When in reality I don’t feel that I do. I want so badly to be the confident person who didn’t take the hit to my pride from this, but I’m not, so I wanted to get on here & be entirely honest & open with you all, because that’s all I’ve ever wanted to be as an artist.

Some days are harder than others. My birthday is rapidly approaching, usually a time that I get excited for & celebrate, but this year I just feel numb. Like what’s the point? On the other hand some days the “badass” who doesn’t give a shit about what happened comes out & he shows up hopefully & excited about a future that is full of question marks. I’m trying to learn to be more & more like that version of me with each day that passes.

I’m sorry if this blog was a downer, that wasn’t my intent. If anything today was one of those blogs that felt like pulling teeth to me, but I want to feed the side of myself that is motivated & persistent & not give into that side of me that is huffing “why even try?” I needed to get on here & write one, so I didn’t leave you all who so graciously extend your time to me & my thoughts & ideas hanging, & two, so I could get back behind the boulder & start pushing my way up the hill again. In a lot of ways this blog is for me to vent & for me to persist, but despite that, I hope you at least got a little something out of this. Even if that something is simply a thread of commonality or an understanding.

I wish you all the happiest of days/evenings wherever this blog finds you.

As always, much love to you all,

-C