I’d be lying if I said that I wasn’t a vocal cynic of Valentine’s Day in the past. I even think I’ve gone so far as to write a couple of blogs on the matter. Though I’ve been coupled up for almost a decade at this point, I still, for the longest time found Valentine’s Day to be a fake ass, commercial holiday. I’d probably be lying again if I said that I didn’t still believe that to be true, but there’s something about this year that feels a little different & I’d like to take the time on here to try & nail down exactly what that is.
Let’s face it, the last year & some change of living in the world, specially in The US, has not been a walk in the park. I think that is especially true of this year where the insanity just continues to ramp up more & more every day. I know for a lot of us the 2025 holiday season was difficult. Swing that right into the new year & a relentless 50 year long January into February & I think I can speak for a lot of us when I say, we’re burnt out. Not just that but there is a rage that is driving so many people I know & so many people I talk to. The world has been thrown into chaos & it constantly feels like we are waiting for the other shoe to drop whether it’s for the worse or for the better. Then comes along this little holiday centered around love in a cultural landscape currently being shaped by so much righteous anger & pain.
I am privileged. On a lot of fronts I am, but specifically I am privileged in love. I have someone to do life with, who I can laugh with, cry with, express joy & heartache with, who helps make our house a home & who embraces me even in my most manic of ideas or schemes. That is a privilege that I know not everyone gets to have. We discuss hard truths, we compromise, we learn & develop & challenge one another & at the end of the day we live together. No duh, but that’s not what I mean. We live together, in a shared space that fosters daily, mundane acts of love. Not flashy, over the top gestures, just care, attention, & peace. An eye of a storm.
I guess this year I have perspective. We live in a house in Nashville, Tennessee as a same sex couple. An act of defiance & protest in & of itself. Especially in a state that today furthered bills that would allow people to not recognize us as a couple or, should we decide that we want to in be in the future, as spouses. Nevertheless we exist as an “us,” softly carrying about our days set against the backdrop of a state that probably won’t stop with the laws being passed & most likely will continue to erode away our rights as a family unit.
Because to me that is what he is, he is my family. He is the one who sees me, truly, intimately, without judgement or pretense. He is the one who never tries to change me or fit me into a mold of who he thinks I should be; he simply loves me in his bashful sort of way when I’m sure I give him a million reasons every day not to.
And maybe that’s it. Maybe that’s why this Valentine’s Day feels different. because while the world rages on around us & while the future ebbs closer to the unknown, we have one another to weather the storm. In this madness & daily stabs of pain we have this raft of love that is worth celebrating, that is worth coming back to & waking up to every day. Quietly defiant.
This Valentine’s Day almost feels like a breath, like a moment where so many are pausing to step away from the calamity to just acknowledge those who make their lives a little easier to navigate, who show up endlessly to simply say “I know & I’m sorry,” or to not say anything at all & just offer a comforting, familiar presence. This February 14th doesn’t come across to me as performative like it has in the past, it is a noticing, an affirmation of something often so small & taken for granted yet so viciously rebellious & steadfast. For love, much like hope, often blooms from the darkest of places. Love carries across time & space though it may shift in nomenclature. Sometimes it shows up as passion, sometimes melancholy, sometimes it’s remembering, noticing, sometimes it is grief or even heartbreak.
Whatever form love is taking in your life I want you to take the time to recognize it today & feel into it. Even if it’s just a tiny whisper or a notion in the back of the heart, I want you to shine a light on it, to embed yourself in it, to know that it is a part of the gift that it is to be alive. To allow this reprieve to take hold & shut out the noise of everything else that is happening for just a moment, for just today before giving your gratitude & carrying on with the fight.
As always my darlings, much love to you all,
Wishing you simply the happiest of Valentine’s Days to you & yours,
-C