The Universe

Blog: Coincidence?! I Think Not!!

…Let’s start here

Coincidences. Let’s talk about them. I’ve been thinking more & more about them lately, partially because they keep popping up in my life. Which is itself a coincidence. Or is it? You see the more coincidences pop up the more I think I’m beginning to believe in them less & less.

A dear friend of mine is a very successful life coach. He, in his years, has met many a successful individual & we were once talking about this very topic together. The reason we were discussing the topic was because we had met one another by coincidence. We happened to both be in a place we were seldom in, at a time we were seldom there at. He has since become friends with my friends & I with his! Anyway, back to the topic at hand. One of the people this friend has met in their life freely offered up the key to his thriving success. It’s one rule & it’s a very simple one.

There is no such thing as a coincidence.

This man’s philosophy in life & the thing in which he owes his success abides by that one simple rule. When met with something he would normally deem a coincidence he takes it as a sign & follows the coincidence to its natural completion.

This discussion took place between my mate & I years ago & for whatever reason….call it coincidence, it’s been dancing around in my head for the last few weeks. So I decided to lean into it! The crazy thing is, the more of these little anomalies occur in my life, the more I follow them, the more I believe in them as more than just a passing “huh” moment, the more of them seem to pop up in my day to day life. Usually the things that lead me to these moments are a pull I feel from within whether it’s text this person or go to this place or post that thing it always leads me further down the rabbit hole. The odd part of this whole experience is that I’ve started not only to lean into them but to believe that they will occur. I have gained a newfound faith in the reoccurring bizarre moments that make everything seem to click together.

So clearly I’m being contradictory to what I’ve stated above when I said the more coincidences happen the less I believe in them but with that statement I am speaking specifically to the exceptional nature of coincidences themselves. I’ve begun to believe less in coincidences & begun believing more in them being part of the natural flow of life.

I think a coincidence is merely a sign, a little nudge from God or the universe or whatever belief system you subscribe to that you’re headed in the right direction, that the path you’re following, the path laid out before you is the correct one. Clearly, the friend of a friend I mentioned above would agree with that. You see when we try to resist our lives & resist the things coming to us along our path we find the more the path will urge us back to it. Think of it like a rubber band, your fate, your destiny, your whatever awaits on one side of it where you are on the other end. The more you try to pull away, to divert your course, the more resistance you’ll be met with. If you go with the flow & lean into these God given opportunities you’ll face less resistance & have more & more, let’s call them coincidences, come your way. You’ll be living in the un-stretched rubber band free to move around without pull back.

We’re all looking for signs, screaming for them usually. But I promise you they’ll never show themselves in abrasive ways, that’s not how these things are communicated. Only in the silence, in the observation, in the instinct will you find your signs. Quiet your mind, trust yourself, trust the voice inside you leading you forward, it’s there for a reason. Coincidences are your signs from the divine. They’re the things you’ve been begging to have reward your faith. So don’t ignore them.

Blog: Date Yourself Dammit!

First of all Happy Valentine’s Day or if you’re of the singular persuasion, Happy Singles Awareness Day! I know I’m a little late on this post but I want to encourage you all on what can be a somewhat lonesome day. As a single human for many a year I understand the struggle, believe me I do, but I want to issue you a small challenge to you today.

Years ago, in college, when I had just come off of a pretty terrible breakup, I stumbled upon a video by Mike Falzone called “The Universe Does Not Owe You a Boyfriend.” Now, for those of you that do not know Mike Falzone is a comedian/blogger who used to do these videos where he’d go for a walk around his neighborhood holding his camcorder while ranting about a topic. In this particular video Mike talks about how he’s tired of people saying that they’re so ready to have a boyfriend or girlfriend, why hasn’t the universe delivered one to me, particularly those who haven’t put in the work in loving themselves. His opinion is that two fully formed humans, who are 100% happy with themselves make the best relationships because they are balanced in creating a 100% happy relationship. Here’s the video for all that are curious:

I for one, couldn’t agree more. I see so many people, every day trying, desperately to find happiness & fulfillment in a significant other. That’s not how it works y’all. If you aren’t happy on your own, by yourself, how can you ever expect to be happy in a relationship or to make someone else happy?! Also, how selfish of you to depend on someone else/use someone to find your happiness. A successful relationship should be about selflessness, that’s what makes us better humans, selfless acts. That isn’t restrictive to your relationship with your boo by the way. The world is a much better place when people are selfless & help one another without having to be forced into it.

Back to the topic at hand. You should be happy with yourself, by yourself. You should love yourself where you are, with you flaws, not only by where you aspire to be. I’m not saying stagnate, please, please don’t stagnate, but I am saying to have patience & love for yourself.

All of this being said I want to issue a challenge to all my single folks out there. This is a challenge I myself have adopted for birthdays & other holidays that can dip into the lonely. This Valentine’s day do what you love. Treat yourself. If it’s your day, your day of love, your birthday, whatever, treat yourself. Do the things you love to do & if other people want to join/if you want other people to join then great! Don’t sit around moping, saying “oh poor me” when this is your day! Treat. Your. Self. Go to that new restaurant you’ve been wanting to try, watch your favorite film, take a long shower, go to your favorite city, take yourself shopping. If you can’t do the things you love to do by yourself why do you expect other people to show up & enjoy them? Why do you need someone else around to witness your enjoyment? Go out, meet new people, bask in the moments, & love yourself first & foremost. We all have to date ourselves a little before we fully understand the beautiful human being underneath, so go out & spend a little time with you!