I started out this blog under that notion of one having their cake & eating it too, but for me, I don’t think that hit hard enough. So, I scoured the web & found some more options, the one that punched the most, naturally, ended up as our title for today. I want to lay out a few other favorites of mine that may help convey what this blog is about & I’m sure get those of you who probably need to read it the most to check out immediately. Here they are (we’ll go light to heavy on this:
You want your bread buttered on both sides.
You can’t walk on both sides of the street.
You’re talking out of both sides of your mouth.
You can’t ride two horses with one ass.
You can’t straddle the fence forever.
You can’t dance with the devil & call it worship (I almost went with this one).
You can’t say you love my while stabbing me in the back (another great one that I almost went with).
Allyship isn’t a label, it’s a practice (allyship felt too affirming to me in the context for which this blog will be written, so it also didn’t make the cut.)
Anyway, if you haven’t guessed by now, this blog will be not too dissimilar from what continues to be my most popular blog of all time, No Hate Like Christian Love, in the sense that we are going to talk about those who claim to love or support marginalized friends, family members, coworkers, acquaintances, etc. while actively supporting those who would seek to do violence against the groups in question.
I can already hear the groans. Really? Violence? Don’t be hyperbolic. So let’s give a little vocabulary lesson right quick shall we? Violence, as defined by the Cambridge Dictionary are actions that are intended to or likely to hurt people or cause damage. I specifically chose to use the word violence for this exact reason, because a lot of folks out there only think that an act of violence is physical & I think the word violence carries with it a connotation & an imagery that to most people is repulsive to a degree. We recoil from the idea. But the word violence also paints a beautifully tragic picture that I think helps nail in the point of all of this.
Now I want you to know that I will be getting specific in this here blog. I will be using exact names of individuals, exact events with sources, & will be mostly talking from my perspective as a queer individual, because that is where my lived experience lies, but naturally this point carries across to the many marginalized communities being affected by the executive orders, rhetoric, & laws being passed by the current admin. We would also be here for an eternity if I brought immigrants, veterans, impoverished people, racial minorities, women, etc. into this. I also need this blog to be an expression of the times we are living in, specifically in the United States of America under the second Trump administration. I can just hear the clicks on the ‘x’s’ at the top left for the screen continuing.
On March 9th, 2025 Donald Trump reposted a photo on his Truth Social account depicting a pink triangle crossed out with an opinion piece from the Washington Post praising him & AD Hegseth for their renewed ban of trans military members. Read more here. The Pink Triangle in question that adorns the image being that which gay individuals were forced to wear by the Nazi’s during WWII, specifically in concentration camps. Now, this is not the first time the administration has shared or sympathize directly with Nazi ideals. See Charlotte “Fine People,” Trump Praises Hitler, Elon Musk Salute/Holocaust Denial, Trump’s Continued Attempts At Trans Eradication, need I go on?…because sadly I can for a while… This post, naturally, sparked outrage amongst the LGBTQIA+ community who saw it for what it is, a blaring Dog Whistle.
You see many of us have been warning those we know who are shameless Trump voters of these coming threats for years, specifically when this past year’s election cycle came about, & we were all met with the same excuses or push back. “He’s not coming after anyone’s rights.” See here. “No one is coming for marriage equality.” See here. “But the economy.” See here. Or “the grocery prices” See here. Glad you sold your marginalized loved ones down the river just so you could hypothetically have cheaper groceries even though every major economist on the planet rightfully predicted that it would have the opposite effect.
And this is what gets me, election cycle after election cycle. The people who are in your life who profess to love you “unconditionally.” Time & time again, they are those who vote flagrantly against your rights as a member of a marginalized community & then when you get upset with them over it & over the things that are happening that you told them repeatedly would happen, they act like they didn’t know or that they are not partially at fault. They also don’t understand that even if they are 1 in 77,302,580ths responsible, that they still saw all of the ways this admin would damage your life & the lives of millions of others & signed off on it, put their literal stamp of approval on the man, his cronies in the cabinet, & their promised acts of retribution & violence against “the least of these.” Then they except you not to feel betrayed by that, to act as if nothing has happened, & that their brand of “unconditional love” doesn’t count when it comes to the voting booth. It’s gaslighting at its finest. Then, God forbid, they have the audacity to rub it in your face, to fly a MAGA flag or wear a MAGA hat or make jokes at your expense, all of which are signals to anyone who belongs to a minority that “you are not welcome here” & “I am not a safe person to be around.” They choose garish gloating &, a lovely german term, schadenfreude in place of compassion & empathy, both of which are much too late to be properly exhibited anyway.
You don’t get to stand on the grounds that you love or support someone & then turn around & blatantly vote their rights as a human being away without consequence. You don’t get to do that & expect them to treat you the same, to not feel entirely betrayed by you when you especially when they’ve wasted their breath trying to get you to understand the damage that will be done. Especially after witnessing the damage done from 2016-2020. I am so sick of the rhetoric or “but both sides” or “it’ll all change again in four years anyway” when clearly, clearly that is not the case. One side of the aisle, while they may be completely inefficient, does not actively seek to tear apart the lives of those who they have painted a target upon just because they can or just because it distracts from their inability or desire to fix the problems they perpetuate.
Naturally this is a hot button topic for me, as it seems to be for so many of my friends who find themselves on the receiving end of the Trump policies. So many of us who are openly LGBTQIA+, immigrants, environmentalists, non-evangelicals, non-white, are finding ourselves face to face with the heartbreak that is thinking the people you love, who you would do anything for, would do the same for you & quickly finding out they won’t even do something as simple as vote in your favor. It’s a terrible feeling, one I wouldn’t wish on anyone, & the worse part of it is, as I aforementioned, that they want you to continue on like they haven’t overtly committed acts of violence against you. They are fine being your oppressors if it gets them even the slightest perceived advantage in life & they will/have done so unapologetically. Not even unapologetically, but with outright disregard, deflecting any & all accountability & shifting blame or leaning into whataboutisms to avoid the reality & the harm of their actions. Then they wonder why we don’t want to be around them anymore.
I’m sorry if this was a tough read, I’m sorry if this was triggering for you. If you’re someone maybe not on the receiving end it might be time to look into the ‘why.’ I write this out of a desire to inform & with passion because it kills me. It kills me to experience it & it kills me to see so many beautiful human beings who are deserving of all of the love in the world have the same things happen to them. I write this to show you all what has been done & what continues to be done out of some, probably false, hope that someone will read this & finally understand & not continue making the same mistakes going forward. You cannot love your black, brown, white, immigrant, citizen, queer, trans, non-binary, etc., etc., etc. neighbor by voting against them. It is contradictory, hypocritical, & above all an act of violence against them. Where is the ‘love’ in that?
It’s tough out there, please be safe, take care of yourself & one another, & know that I love you.
Much love to you all,
-C