LGBTQ

Blog: They Have Already Damned You.

He folks, welcome back! As with last week, my initial plan for THIS week was to write a travel blog about New York. Also like last week I had another topic swirling & twirling around my brain that I felt pressing to write this week. Once more, also like last week, this blog will be a serious one, if the title alone hadn’t tipped you off to that fact already. Trigger warning I suppose to those of you who are dealing with religious trauma, post election fallout, murder/killing, religious themes, & on the flip side of that coin, may be upset by the contents of this blog. Today we will be talking vertical vs. horizontal morality.

I have had, over the last week, across numerous social media platforms & conversations, the notion or idea of vertical vs horizontal morality pop up & it actually, I think, helps to explain how certain groups can vote or feel the way that they do based on belief & history. I know, for myself, I have struggled with the idea of those who claim to live under the banner of “love thy neighbor as thyself” going to the voting booth & doing the exact opposite often condemning their ‘neighbor’ to harder lives, deportation, lack of access to healthcare, higher tax rates, or downright voting to strip their rights away. Taking that “what you do unto the ‘least’ of these, you do unto me” & really just punting it through the proverbial field goal. One creator, Rachel Klinger Cain, put it simply by saying the following:

They are never going to care about our suffering, because they are okay with our damnation.
— Rachel Klinger Cain

This immediately struck me & got the wheels of my brain turning. She goes on to explain further stating:

So many of us right now are sitting in the space of desperately trying to explain it to them in a way that induces the empathy. Like if we can just find the right words, if we can say it the right way, provide the right evidence, remind them that we’re human, then we can get through to them. That they’ll see what they’ve done. That they’ll see what’s coming. That they’ll be willing to stand with us when we need it, but none of that is going to work with people who have already accepted that we are going to Hell. They believe that we are going to Hell, a place of eternal conscious torment, & they don’t stand with us. They take the side of the God who would do it. They claim that they love us, but they’re fine with our eternal conscious torment & they’re fine with our tormentor.
— Rachel Klinger Cain

Now. I know that’s a lot to digest. I’m sure for some of you reading it stirred up a lot of emotions or feelings one way or the other. I challenge you to sit in those & understand what about that paragraph makes you feel that way & why you feel that way.

I will say, to my personal extent, that paragraph feels a bit atheistic & I can’t begrudge Rachel for feeling that way. Though it doesn’t necessarily align with my personal beliefs, it does align with my personal feelings & experiences around the majority of those within the evangelical base. I know the retort to that is going to be the “a few bad apples ruin the batch” argument, but I think with most things around that sentiment, Maren Morris was correct in saying “The rot at the roots is the root of the problem” (I know she’s talking specifically about the country music industry here but I’m borrowing the analogy). The bushel isn’t being contaminated by a few bad apples, I think, for the most part, the ‘good' apples are the exception from a tree that has taught us how easy it is to condemn another human being for living a life that is different than our own.

I can just hear the people clicking out of my website from this one already. I again, challenge you to bear with me going forward & really dissect the way this is making you feel. If something challenges the narrative you believe if is often a good idea to figure out why & then figure out whether or not what is stated is factual or not & reevaluate from there.

I’d like to get into the meat of this & really discuss the “why” of all of this? Why do people who spend almost every weekend being taught a book of love statistically go out & vote for candidates who perpetuate hate, division, scapegoating, gluttony, greed, & selfishness? Because of vertical morality.

I’m going to go back to Rachel here in a second because I think the discourse happening on her page outlines the differences in the two types of morality perfectly specifically using the example of murder/killing. With vertical morality you have a system of morals not build on empathy or common understanding, but instead built on authority. This idea makes the beliefs of those who post things along the lines of “well, how will children learn morals if they aren’t taught The Bible?” make so much more sense.

You see, within the discussion on her page, she is met with a man who confronts this idea by saying “Really how can something that created everything kill & slaughter if he can just ‘uncreate’ everything.” It’s this idea of ownership, that if Almighty God decided to undo creating that He has the authority to do so simply because He created it.

Using this specific example she lays out the following:

Under a vertical moral system murder is not wrong because it harms somebody, it is wrong because you don’t have the authority to do it, but that also means that IF you have the authority to do it, you can to it. This is the problem with a vertical moral system. This is why they become violent so quickly, because all they have to do to convince themselves it’s okay to kill someone, is to convince themself that they’ve been given the authority to do it by God.
— Rachel Klinger Cain

She goes on to give examples throughout history of this, of times in which Christianity or Christian Nationalism have sparked violent movements that led to countless deaths or allowed them to watch from the sidelines unbothered because of the authority of God or those whom he has ‘ordained’ as having the authority (i.e. kings, queens, presidents, popes, etc.). This also goes outside of Christianity to other theologies that implant vertical morality & even include the deification & idolization of leaders. Some examples that include, but are not limited to; the Holocaust, the Crusades, slavery, colonialism, manifest destiny, the AIDs crisis, the Manson Murders, Gaza.

On the other side of that morality system lies the horizontal. This way of belief says that murder is wrong, not because you don’t have the authority, but because it causes harm to another human being.

It’s not about authority, it’s about harm. When you have a horizontal moral system then you are criticizing a god who would kill people, because it doesn’t matter if that god is bigger or stronger. Might does not make right. It doesn’t matter if He claims to have the authority, He’s still causing harm. But under that vertical moral system, might makes right. It’s authoritarianism. & when their religion is authoritarian then that means their moral system is authoritarian. & when their moral system is authoritarian it will trickle down into all kinds of other beliefs including their politics, including who they vote for. & if they believe that God as ordained it, if they believe that the ultimate authority figure says it’s okay, then it doesn’t matter who it harms. Appeals to empathy will not work, because they don’t get their morals from empathy, they get it from authority. They’re authoritarians.
— Rachel Klinger Cain

Again, a bit more atheistic than I’d probably put it myself, but I think the point still stands.

Another creator, Theologian Ciarra Jones, piggybacks off of Rachel’s points to discuss a lecture that she gives every years at UC Berkley around Race, Religion, & Public Policy.

I always tell students when working with Christian communities that the stakes are different. We’re not talking about systemic inequality & its impacts, we’re talking about heaven & Hell. Salvation & damnation. This focus on sin & punishment, salvation & damnation, actually cuts off most fundamentalist Christians from normative processes of empathy. Fundamentalist Christian communities have constructed God in a way that cosigns & corroborates the existence of systemic inequality.
— Professor Ciarra Jones

She then lays out an excellent example around LGBTQ rights using the following:

If I go to a fundamentalist pastor & I say “you voting on anti-LGBTQ policies harms LGBTQ people’s safety,” they would say “well queerness itself is a sin & if a queer person wasn’t living in this way, then they would experience systemic inequality.”
— Professor Ciarra Jones

I would interject here but I think the way she continues on is so eloquently stated that I’m just going to continue to quote her here!

We have constructed God as a God that insulates power, that insulates systemic inequality & that is one the side of those who are enacting harm on marginalized communities. This makes fundamentalist Christians impervious to critiques about how their theology is related to our policy landscape.

One of the most common Bible verse I heard growing up in fundamentalist, pentecostal churches “we are called to be in the world & not of it,” means that Christians start to bifurcate themselves from non-christians. They almost cut off their humanity & empathy towards non-christian communities or towards those they believe are living in a type of sin.

This means for Christians, for example, voting on ‘pro-life’ policy, even when ‘pro-life’ policy harms particularly women of color. There isn’t any empathy towards these communities because the idea is ‘I am voting on the side of righteousness’ & in fact my ability to separate myself from humanity & vote on policies in the way that God is asking me to do is a sign of my own unique Christian divinity. It’s a sign of my commitment to God. So separating themselves from their empathy actually ends up being a sign of their commitment to God.
— Professor Ciarra Jones

I know this week was a heavy one, I know this blog also may seem like I’m over here doing the most to shit on Christians when in reality I consider myself among them as so many of us who are begging for your empathy do. We read the book. We were taught the lessons. We took them to heart & somewhere along the line that was lost amongst what I would say, & what statistics would say, are the vast majority.

Additionally, I have seen so many postings this last week & a half around the idea of “I don’t know how to convince you to care about other people” so I wanted to weigh in with the things that I learned from these two amazing female creators. They helped me to understand why the last eight years of begging friends & family not to vote the way that they do despite the damage it does not only to me, someone they claim to love, but also other communities at large have clearly gone exorbitantly unheard. Appeals using examples & proof go unheeded & unnoticed because we lack the ultimate authority of what they have decided is moral or is not.

They are not going to stand up for a right or a community that they think or have convinced themselves is sinful, no matter the amount of harm it does to the lives of their fellow human beings because the belief is that they do not have the authority to make that call, God does, & what God says (translation mishaps & political alterations included) is the ultimate scale of law & justice to which they weigh their vote, not your lives & the ways in which it may harm you.

I hope you have a fantastic week,

Much love as always,

-C

It cannot be denied that too often the weight of the Christian movement has been on the side of the strong & powerful & against the weak & the oppressed. This despite the gospel.
— Jesus & The Disinherited by Howard Therman as presented by Professor Ciarra Jones

Blog: Do We Still Need Pride- 2024 Edition

Every year I don’t think I’m going to redo this blog until I sit down in the month of June & find myself reentering the title into the title line above. I never planned for this to become a yearly installment, but alas it seems here we are once again. Each year that I do this blog I end up highlighting the reasons in which celebrating the month of June as LGBTQ Pride is still entirely important. I do so using current & pending Anti-LGBTQ laws, relevant stories, & shamelessly, a bit of my own personal opinion as someone who lives within the community & finds the vast majority of their friends falling under one of the letters covered in the month.

If I’m being frank, I don’t take much enjoyment in writing this blog year to year. A lot of the time the reason for that is because the resounding “yes” of an answer to the question presented in the title of this piece comes with heavy news & disheartening statistics. A lot of the time this blog also ends up taking the form of a research paper when majority of what I do is think pieces, travel blogs, personal stories, & the like. This blog often weighs heavily on me as it feels, in a lot of ways, that true equality & freedom get farther & farther our of reach.

I understand that in a lot of ways progress has marched on & made a lot of headway. There is more & more queer representation in media, more queer artists are receiving their much deserved flowers & not being maligned because of their gender identity or sexual orientation. But with the march of progress & the normalizing of things that the hateful deemed taboo for many many years comes those with loud voices who make massive waves in the public by having a platform that is divisive & fueled by scapegoating & misinformation.

I want to make a few things abundantly clear before I continue on. If you are someone reading this who finds themselves on the side of history where you’re saying things like “why don’t straight people have a month” or “I just don't understand why they have to rub their lifestyle in our faces” I want you to read the following paragraph very carefully. Okay? This is a safe space for you as much as it is for those of my fellow members of the alphabet mafia. This is a safe space for you to challenge & question if what you believe & feel is true or not or if it’s just talking points & frustration. Your emotions are valid & they exist for a reason, though I’m not sure entirely if they’re being pointed at the right folks. Are you ready?

The LGBTQ community does not endorse pedophilia. We do not & will not ever include pedophilia in the rainbow banner, nor will we ever praise the outward expression of such. If anyone has told you otherwise I would ask you to reexamine your sources & reexamine their sources. Along that same vein. No one is giving gender reassignment surgery to minors & if they are (big if there) the vast majority of us also agree that said doctor should lose their license. The last & final thing that I need you to be clear on before we go forward is whether or not any of this is natural. The science, the legitimate science, has proven same sex attraction, gender dysphoria, etc, etc, etc, to be a common & pervasive thing not only amongst human beings but also all over the animal kingdom. That is no longer up for debate despite that seeming to be a “discourse” I hear brought up time & time again. Being queer is not a choice. Having the courage & the privilege to live an openly queer lifestyle that honors who you are as a person inside & out is. It is something that needs to be normalized because it is normal. No one is trying to convert children into becoming LGBTQ, if anything people are, again, trying to normalize a scientifically normal occurrence so that those who fall under the blanket of being LGBTQ stop feeling & being ostracized, vilified, murdered, beaten, abused, driven to suicide, & misunderstood. We are talking about human beings here. We are talking about your sons, daughters, children. We are talking about your brothers, sisters, siblings, mothers, fathers, parents, guardians, aunts, uncles, relatives, best friends, significant others, we are talking about real people in your lives that you probably claim to love.

As I mentioned above the march has been discouraging over the last couple of years & June 2023-June 2024 is no different. States continue to propose & pass laws that limit the rights of those in the queer community & hate crimes, specifically against those who are trans, are reaching decades long record highs. We are currently staring down the barrel of Project 2025, a Republican plan to completely gut the rights of LGBTQ Americans on Day 1 of a conservative dominated Washington DC. That’s not hyperbolic, you can read about it on the RNC’s site, laid out in plain English, right here. We are at a pivotal point in our history where the casual hate & bigotry has reached a boiling point that threatens to boil over in November of this year.

Additionally, retailers like Target, Walmart, etc. have either scaled back their Pride collections of entirely dismissed them following the outcry of the vocal minority during June of 2023. While rainbow capitalism isn’t great, neither is erasing the visibility & presence it gave to the community on a national scale.

Pride is once again slipping back into the realms of its origin & becoming a protest. A protest for visibility, for public safety, for rights. It’s becoming a protest for freedom, not only of expression, but also of peace of mind & security. Pride is undoubtedly more important than ever. It is a demand to be seen, to be heard, to not go silently & turn over because it’s convenient or easier for those who live on the outside looking in. Pride is not only needed, it is essential. It is essential for those who someday dream of having a quiet, normal life with their partner & their children. It is essential to the person who one day dreams of looking in the mirror & seeing their body reflect the beautiful human underneath. It is essential to those who dream of living a life free of fear of persecution, of emotional & physical harm, of having to chose between who you are & who those with outdated mentalities think you need to be. Pride is essential. Pride is community building, fortifying, & solidifying. Pride is health care, preventative care, & suicide prevention. Pride is expression, & honesty, & loving. Pride is, & continues to be, needed.

If you are someone who is reading this who finds themselves within the community; whether that’s questioning or confirmed, you are loved & you are valid & there are people out there who are so beyond ready to embrace the real you & show you what real, true, unconditional love looks like. If you are someone who is not in the community but loves its members personally, on behalf of all of us, thank you. Your support, affirmation, & affection goes so much farther than you could ever know. If you are someone who is neither of these things I challenge you. I challenge you to make a queer friend, to reach out to that estranged loved one, to make a genuine human effort to see them as who they are because I promise you’ll find so much beauty & unfiltered love waiting there. Set your beliefs, your politics, your whatever aside for a while & meet someone where they are, just as two human beings trying to make their way through the world. And finally, if you are someone who claims to love a queer person but then votes against them every chance you get, I beg of you, listen to what those in marginalized groups are trying to tell you. Please. It is not a loving act to claim that you care for someone & then worsen their lives because you think they’re overreacting or being alarmist. The last couple of years have proven that none of us were or are being alarmist.

As always, much love to you all,

& of course, Happy Pride!

-C

Blog: Target Misses The Mark

Well it’s almost June & you know what that means, it’s time for the grungy shine of rainbow capitalism to once again rear its head & pretend to give two licks about members of the LGBTQIA+ community. As per the annual occurrence, Target has launched their often wildly hit or miss pride collection to its usual mixed reviews, only this time there’s an awful lot more ‘booing’ than usual coming from the ignorant side of the shopping aisle.

If you’ve been to a Target ever in your life you’ll know that they always feature the monthly collections at the entrance to the store, whether it’s black history month, asian pacific islanders heritage month, woman’s history month, etc, there is always a display that caters to those wishing to express their pride in their often marginalized, persecuted, & subjugated communities. (Read that again please CIS/Het white folks, marginalized, persecuted, & subjugated communities, you needs not apply.) Pride month is no different & with the massive wave of anti-LGBTQ legislature & sentiment on the rise, this year, more than others, that seems to be causing quite the controversy.

Those who view themselves on the hearsay moral authority of the right have decided that this blatant display of pride in what makes someone’s life more difficult statistically in past & modern American life is an attempt at, one of their new favorite terms, grooming. That the displays in the front of the store are promoting (dare I say) acceptance & tolerance & teaching kids (god forbid) that it’s okay to not be on the ‘straight’ & narrow & that their thoughts & feelings might just be normal. They took major issue with Target’s offering of clothing items for kids & infants that might simply exist just as a way for children to show support for their LGBTQ+ parents, relatives, etc. Naturally, if you are new here, you can see where I fall on this side of the argument. These people have called for a boycott of Target store & unfortunately, it seems to have worked.

Target stores, over the course of the week long boycott, experienced around a nine billion dollar loss in market value. Not a number to bat an eye at. Surprisingly, however, the momentary monetary loss was not the issue. The issue was that these hateful, loathsome humans took it upon themselves to start rattling off death threats to target employees, who are simply there trying to earn a minimum wage. These threats were so forceful & so numerous that not only has Target unfortunately complied, moving the collection to the back of a lot of stores, but these acts are literally beginning to be labeled as forms of domestic terrorism because at the end of the day what is terrorism if not an attempt to scare someone into doing what you want?

This sets a precedent, it signals to those who disagree with anything even remotely outside of their limited world view that they can throw a fit, threaten people, & their voice & demands will be heard. What Target has caved to here will allow this type of action to be taken against other businesses, corporations, etc without the fear of any repercussions. Target has not only racked up a major loss for the visibility of those in marginalized groups but also for anyone else who has the balls to stand up against these closed minded individuals & declare “no, this is what’s right” in the face of hate.

I hope you all have a lovely week or weekend, whenever you may be reading this!

As always, much love to you all,

-C

Blog: How Long Before You Say “Tennessee Ya" To Tennessee?

Cheeky title aside this post does require a bit of a trigger warning. It’s also probably worth noting that all points & facts here within are valid & true especially regarding laws & events, that’s not to say they won’t include my own feelings about them.

Thanks.

Trigger Warning: Homophobic/Transphobic Language, Suicide, Fascism, & Racism

If you’re not a Tennessee resident you may have missed just how awful the last month & specifically the last 24 hours have been for marginalized groups here, especially where the LGBTQ & Black communities are concerned. Within the last 24 hours Tennessee’s drag ban has been signed, the bill that bans parents from supporting gender affirming care for their trans children was signed, a Republican house member advocated for the legalization of lynching, & a banner appeared off the highway over Chestnut Street in Nashville praising Bill Lee, our horrid governor, for “tirelessly working to fight trannies & fags” saying “we must secure the existence of our people & future for white children” with a massive picture of Tennessee brandishing a swastika. To say that yesterday was defeating for a lot of us would be an understatement.

A lot of this has been an ongoing fight for the last month or so, we all waited with bated breath to see if these bills would pass the Tennessee house & then the senate, & of course, they did despite the innumerable logical arguments put in place to oppose their existence. It also feels like the first in what will undoubtably be a long string of human rights violations aimed at those who fall within the LGBTQ community coming out of Tennessee. I want to break each of these down a little so that they’re understood & can be recognized for what they are; hateful, targeted, bigoted laws.

The TN Drag Ban, which goes into effect on July 1st, 2023, will make it a felony for anyone to be dressed for performance in the “clothing opposite their biological gender” within a public space. This includes, but is not limited to, drag, any performance containing gender swapped characters (Hairspray, Ms Doubtfire, Tootsie), trans performers, & cosplay. The law makes it so that any performance containing said features must be labeled as 18+ content & anyone caught performing outside of this regulation will receive a federal sex offender charge. The law also reclassifies the art of drag as burlesque & requires establishments that support it to reapply for their license under, essentially the same business blanket as a strip club. This will cause any bar, brunch, or other location who continues hosting drag brunches & the like to relinquish their liquor license in favor of creating inclusive spaces for all people. This bill also throws into question what is to be done for performances such as Shakespeare or, as aforementioned, Ms Doubtfire & Hairspray, both of which have tour stops at TPAC in 2024. Additionally it bars drag performers from pride events going forward & throws in questions regarding the safety & legality of those within the trans community. Additionally the wording in the bill itself is incredibly vague, which is no doubt intentional.

Let’s bounce one sentence back & let’s move into the gender affirming care ban.

The second law that was signed on the desk of the repugnant Bill Lee yesterday was that which prevents parents & medical providers from providing their children with gender affirming care. This means that if a child, teen, what have you comes to their parents & says ‘I believe in my heart of hearts that I was born the wrong gender,’ that their parents are now legally bound to do nothing. They can’t provide their child with counseling that would help them to understand & move forward in their desired identity, they can’t advocate for their child in a medical sense regarding anything around their desired gender, they are limited, essentially, in what they can now legally do as parents to support their child who is already going through probably one of the most difficult times in their life under the threat of felony charges. Medical personal can no longer take steps towards assisting trans youth in any regard that affirms their new identity. What this will result in is even more of what the south is facing post abortion bans where finding doctors & nurses is becoming fairly impossible. Additionally it will cause the suicide rates of those effected, trans youth, to sky rocket. Though I would assume that’s no skin off of these legislator’s backs.

I’m going to circle back to the capital punishment discussion within the TN house yesterday since I think the first two points & the last, the banner, are all within the same line of thought & the banner was in direct response to Bill signing the two bills into law.

This banner, which I explained the contents of above, is not the first neo-nazi sentiment we’ve had come out of this state in the last 24 hours, nor is it the only one pointed at the LGBTQ community. Additionally it was discovered that a neo-nazi group & local resident, Tonya Holley, who is also a member of the Daughters of the Confederacy, have put together a “hit list” of members of the LGBTQ living within Pulaski, TN. Pulaski also happens to be the founding place of the KKK. These individuals & the associated list have already been reported to Homeland Security but that hasn’t stopped members of the local government from requesting “legitiment names” of LGBTQ city members so that they can run them through the registered sex offender list, in spite of several members of the city counsel being well established members of the offender list in question.

Another item on the docket of the current Tennessee Congress has been capital punishment & reimplementing it specifically using firing squads & hangings. One member of the house, Paul Sherrell, argued that lynching should also be amended into the bill & should be legalized within the state despite having recently been outlawed nationwide. This legislator is the same who openly submitted a bill to change the name of Representative John Lewis Way to Donald Trump Way & apparently has never been shy or coy about his feelings towards the black members of the state of Tennessee.

All of this happened in a day. One singular day. And while the laws may have been coming down the pipeline for a while, the implementation & aggressive response to their implementation has all happened within the span of 24 hours. It’s gotten so bad that I’ve had people texting me asking if I need to move, to leave my home, which I am an owner of, & move to somewhere more progressive, While I don’t exactly think I’m there yet, I’m beginning to wonder what will be the straw that breaks the camels back for me? What will it take to dip out of this backwards ass state & its hateful legislators who have far more to be concerned about than stripping people of their rights. Maybe let’s focus on the 1/4th of all people living below the poverty line? Maybe let’s focus on how we’re in the 80th percentile for child & maternity mortality rates, or how we have one of the worst healthcare & education systems in the entire country. Maybe, just maybe, we should focus on the things that improve people’s lives instead of those that hinder them. Maybe we should figure out a way to get the 60+% of registered voters within the state who didn’t show up to vote for the midterms, the governor race, the state congressional race, to vote.

I don’t know what will be the last straw for me, truly I don’t, but I am so beyond sick & tired of hearing this “it’s just as bad on both sides” of the aisle argument when there is one clear group stripping rights, targeting marginalized groups, endangering Americans, destroying our futures & our planet, ostracizing people, flagrantly cheating to get ahead at the polls, damaging people’s lives, & encouraging hate groups while the other side of the aisle seeks to protect this nation & all of its people. These two things are not the same & never will be. For the 380+ bills introduced just these past three months that strip LGBTQ rights I would challenge anyone to find a single one that limits the rights of those on the opposite side of the fence. They don’t exist. This culture war is costing real human beings their lives over a completely fabricated enemy. We are not groomers. I am not a groomer, none of my LGBTQ friends are groomers nor have they ever been. What we are is uncles, aunts, siblings, sons, daughters, neighbors, coworkers, tax payers, employers, etc, etc, etc just trying to live our lives in peace. No one is taking the rights or the right away but they’re damn sure taking away the rights of those they’ve decided are “the enemy.”

I hope you have a great week or weekend, whenever you end up giving this a read.

And as always, much love to you all,

-C

Blog: Come On Florida & Texas, Just Say Gay.

As of today, February 25th, 2022, the “Don’t Say Gay” Bill has officially passed with a vote of 69-47 in Florida. Additionally Governor Abbott of Texas has begun instructing Child Protective Services to investigate the parents of any child identifying as Trans under the penalty of “child abuse.” None of this is even to mention the atrocities being carried out in Ukraine, Poland, Yemen, Syria, or Somalia. In short, today feels heavy.

I had initially planned to write about “Eating Disorder Awareness Week,” which it currently is & my personal struggles with body dysmorphia & vilifying certain foods but I felt called to write less about my personal experiences & more in regards to current events. Plus for those of you reading this that answered my poll, this topic won out by a long shot.

Let’s tackle Florida first shall we?

Don’t Say Gay or HB 1557, a bill proposed by Florida Representative, Joe Harding & backed by Florida Governor Ron DeSantis (boo, hiss), is a bill that prohibits the educating of students on all topics LGBTQ. The bill specifically outlines the complete illegality of discussing anything even remotely LGBTQ with children grades three & younger; including acknowledging their LGBTQ parents & limits the discussion of LGBTQ history or ideas in older classrooms based on whether or not it is deemed appropriate, something entirely up for the Florida Board of Education to decide. The bill also completely limits a teachers ability to be a mentor to any student struggling with the acceptance of their own gender identity or sexuality & was originally set to include a requirement for the “outing” of any student confiding in a teacher to their parents or guardians within six week of them learning of it. Luckily, that last bit didn’t pass.

Moreover, this bill further stigmatizes LGBTQ individuals & creates massive divides between the normalcy of who they are & what the Florida government qualifies as normal. It ostracizes any individual already struggling with the confusion of adolescence & sequesters them to the possibilities of further hopelessness or feelings that they are other than or not worthy of being recognized by society. The bill not only alienates but outwardly discriminates against the freedom these youths should have for self expression & throws a major wrench in the quintessential years that lead to understanding of who they are.

This time in each of our lives is pivotal not only where identity is concerned but also in the foundations of mental health. According to a recent survey conducted by the Trevor Project an average of 42% of LGBTQ youth have seriously considered taking their own lives or have actively attempted to do so. More than half of all nonbinary & trans identify youth have stated the same. Those who identify as LBGTQ also have much higher rates of depression & anxiety, primarily linked to feelings of isolation, repression, & lack of self worth.

Let’s set statistics aside for a second & do a bit of imagining shall we? Imagine the script has been flipped. Imagine instead of LGBTQ students being targeted it’s those who identify as CIS/Hetero. Imagine not being able to talk about your straight parents or relatives. Imagine not being able to express your romantic feelings, your attractions, etc. Imagine not being able to identify as He/Him/His or She/Her/Hers or even discuss the omission. Imagine not being able to consume any media, books, educational films, etc., that featured anything remotely CIS/Hetero. Imagine not being able to learn about important historical figures who were straight or binary. Do you get it now?

This bill is not endemic to Florida alone. There are currently as many as 20 states with anti-LGBTQ curriculum bills in the US & that number is growing rapidly. LGBTQ hate crimes are also on the rise & in the wake of Pulse, the second largest mass shooting in US history, you would think Florida, specifically, would have wised up by now. The argument being made here is that “parents must have a seat at the table for what’s going on in schools” & I personally couldn't disagree more. I’m elated, no offense M&D, that my parents didn’t have a direct say in what I learned in school.

Now. Texas. Ooooooh Texas, what shall we do with you?….

On Tuesday Governor Abbott, the bag of slimy, pustulated dog shit that he is (that’s not an opinion, it’s factual), announced that he will be calling for all licensed officials & members of the general public to report parents of transgender minors so that the state can investigate them for child abuse. Child. Abuse. The radical transphobic move is not a first for Abbott who last year failed to pass legislation making it a felony for physicians, doctors, therapists, & teacher to provide gender affirming care to minors. The bill would have filed felony charges under the physical & sexual abuse categories. Under the current orders not only will child abuse charges be inflicted upon the parents & guardians of trans youth but also any doctor, nurse, teacher, therapists, etc. who refused to report a child’s gender affirming parents.

Five district attorneys have already spoken out in defiance of the order, refusing to prosecute those who are reported. DA’s cite the unconstitutional nature of the bill as well as HIPAA as their reasonings aside from the blatant discrimination happening here.

Trans activists within the state say they are beginning to fear Abbott’s personal trans-phobic tendencies are leaking into the general public & reverting years of progress. They also fear that the rhetoric being presented to non-gender conforming minors it that the Texas government would rather see them dead than recognize them for who they truly really are.

I know this week’s blog was full of a lot of heavy stuff, but I felt it was important. We can’t ignore the issues of the marginalized just because they don’t effect us or play into our personal lives. We have to stop electing officials who paint targets on the backs of minorities simply because of their own misgivings & embrace a society that allows ample opportunity for love & acceptance to all of its citizens, not just those it has personally labeled as desirable.

I hope you each have a great weekend, I know things seem bleak right now but it’s worth fighting for a better world. Persevere on, treat one another with kindness & empathy, make new friends & acquaintances who live completely different lives from you, listen to them, put yourself in their shoes!

Much love to you all,

C

Blog: Do We Still Need Pride Month?

How is it already the end of June?! How has 2021 flown by so quickly?!

At the beginning of the month I knew I wanted to, at the very least, write something about Pride Month, seeing how June is Pride Month. So, I guess, why not make it the last blog of the month? I was wracking my brain over & over searching for what I wanted to write about this year as I usually do some form of Pride post in the month of June. Did I mention it’s the month of June & it’s also Pride Month? Sorry haha, just feel like I’ve said that a lot in my first couple lines of this blog. Anywho, back to it. I was struck by this idea for a blog post when I came across the comments section of the CMT Pride Playlist on the godless wasteland we all know as Facebook along with a slurry of hateful individual posing the question “why do they still need a Pride Month?” Their rationale being that “they got their right to legally wed” along with, of course, “there’s no straight pride month.” Vom. The post is hyperlinked if you’d like to go read the rest of these truly distasteful humans’ comments or if you just want to listen to the playlist itself. This blatant ignorance got me thinking though, do we still need an LGBTQ+ Pride Month? I mean it’s not like, though it should be more so, it shines a light on LGBTQIA+ history? So, should pride month still exist as a form of visibility for members of the alphabet mafia, after all, marriage equality is the law of the land. But then after the smallest fraction of a nanosecond I immediately landed on the answer being “of course we do.”

People who are members of the LGBTQIA+ community are still, in terms of rights & opportunity, considered second class citizens in this country we call the United States. That’s not to even mention the atrocities they face around the world by simply being who they are or loving who they love. They are disproportionately discriminated against, attacked, brutalized, rejected, marginalized, & forced to the sidelines of society when compared to their CIS gendered, heterosexual peers; especially when it comes to transgender people of color. I think all too often, at least outside of the community, the perception is that the battle is over, the fight has been won but I’d argue it’s just getting started.

Let’s take Arizona for example. In 1991 the state made it illegal for any teacher to promote LGBTQ+ “propaganda.” That meant anything from same sex education, to expressions of gender identity, to even the acknowledgement of certain historical figures being a member of the community. This wasn’t even the full extent of the law though. Say a student was struggling with their identity in any form other than heteronormativity. If they were to go to one of their teachers & ask for advice or assistance & the teacher offered any form of advice other than “talk to your parents” or anyone other than me & they were caught doing so they would be fined upwards of $5,000 dollars & have their teaching license called into question just for trying to be helpful or offer mentorship to a struggling student. Fortunately, that law has since been eradicated though that hasn’t stopped Arizona law makers from trying to implement similar laws in its place. As recent as April of this year a motion was put into effect to try & make it illegal for any school to teach about anything the government deemed even remotely LGBTQ+. This included historical figures, events, mention anything about gender expression or sexuality outside the CIS/Hetero. It also, unsurprisingly, included lessons about the HIV/AIDs epidemic unless all students involved had signed consent from their parent or guardian. (link) Sounds just like a diet version of the previous law.

I’m sure some of you are going to make the argument in favor of that policy since “students should be learning at school, not exploring their identity” but adolescence is the time in most of our lives in which we call our identities into question. The “who am I” of it all becomes a constant part of middle & high school life & if you don’t have a way to investigate that or ask even the most innocent of questions without feeling like who you are is unworthy of societal recognition then that can lead down some dark hallways.

Let’s talk stats:

90% of LGBTQ+ students reported hearing anti-LGBTQ+ slurs on a daily basis in their schools. Most saying they average hearing around 23 a day.

Around 28% of all LGBTQ+ identifying students end up dropping out of school due to harassment, not only from their peers.

About a quarter of LGB youth report having been physically assaulted because of their sexuality, a higher average of around half of any trans students say the same.

An astonishing 3/4ths of trans students reported having been sexually harassed simply because of their gender identity.

LGBTQ+ youth are twice as likely to abuse drugs or alcohol as compared to their CIS/Het peers.

Anywhere from 20-40% of queer youth have reported homelessness at one time or another though it is thought that number may be much higher.

(link)

Let’s look outside of schools shall we?

We all remember the trans military ban of 2017 right? Sounds like equality winning out to me. What about in 2019 when the previous administration made an attempt that allowed insurances to legally deny an individual coverage simply based on gender expression. In addition to being a massive blow to the transgender & non-binary folks living in this country, it also would have allowed doctors to deny care to anyone with an LGBTQ+ identity. (link) I angry wrote an entire blog post about this that I ended up never posting, I can still see it sitting in my drafts out of the corner of my eye as I write this. The crazy thing is, these two movements barely scratch the surface of the damage the previous administration did or attempted to do to the queer community at large! Here’s a full list if you’d like…(link) Fortunately a lot of these measures have been reversed by the current administration, though not all of them.

Let’s talk more stats:

LGBTQ+ suicides account for 30% of all suicide deaths.

Greater than 50% of those identifying as transgender say they have at one time or another attempted suicide.

1/5th of all LGBTQ+ individuals report having experienced hiring discrimination with people of color reporting a higher number of 2/5ths.

Around 46% of all LGBTQ+ members aren’t out to their coworkers work mostly in fear of discrimination in one way or another from their peers as well as higher ups.

(link)

But it can’t all be bad can it? Well luckily, no! According to a recent survey, Gen-Z is the queerest generation we’ve ever seen, at least from an honest statistical standpoint. According to a 2021 Gallup poll roughly 15% of all Gen-Z-ers polled identified as LGBTQ+ in one way or another, sometimes multiple! It seems the more recent we go generationally, the more people are willing to express their true selves openly & authentically with the Millennial statistic being about 1 in 10. (link) Another beautiful thing happening is that more & more fortune 500 companies are beginning to cater to the needs of their queer staff with around 91% actively making positive changes to their discrimination policies in regards to LGBTQ+ matters, another 53% offering benefits for civil unions, & 65% offering transgender inclusive healthcare plans, and these numbers are rapidly climbing!

So I ask you. Do we still need Pride Month? Do you think the course has been corrected enough to warrant a stall in the fight for equal rights or do you think, like me, that there is still a long, long way to go. I’d like to issue you a small challenge. I’d like you to be a little bit of introspection here & look at how you treat you LGBTQIA+ peers. Is it the same as how you treat your CIS gendered or heterosexual friends? If not, what can you change? Are you as an employer doing what you need to do to be inclusive? Are you as a parent, as a friend, as a sibling doing enough? I want you to look at yourself honestly & answer that question. Are you electing individuals who enact policies that harm marginalized communities such as these? Are you treating all of your neighbors with the love, respect, & decency they deserve or are you stabbing them in the back behind closed doors, from the other side of a keyboard, or in the polling station? I seriously want you to ask yourself these things, to get your ego out of the way, to got the “what about me” out of the way & open your eyes to what is actually happening in the world around you. I didn’t even make a dent in the hindrances of freedom for members of the queer community here, mostly because I wanted to focus on the US, where it is currently Pride Month. I’d advise you to do your own research, to go into these comment sections & see for yourself because if you willingly turn a blind eye to the suffering of others how is that coming from a place of love?

I’ll leave you with one last bit, brought to you by the weapon most used against those in the LGBTQ+ community:

Truly I tell you, whatever you do unto the least of those among you, you have done unto me.
— Mark 25: 40

Happy Pride Everyone! Be proud of who you are & the path that led you here! Keep fighting the good fight & know that love is always the answer.

-C

Blog: Yeah, I Guess I'm A Red State Blueneck.

Earlier this week the social media platform Tik Tok shot another independent artist’s song up the charts premiering it at #1 in all of country music & #4 in all music charts on iTunes. This time, however, I had the privilege of knowing one of the writers, Nell Maynard. Nell is a frequent co-writer & friend of mine & I honestly couldn’t be happier for her & this major win! The song in question is called “Blueneck” performed by Chris Housman, written by Housman, Maynard, & Tommy Kratzert, & produced by Kratzert & Matt Geroux. If you haven’t hear it I’ll attach it below, definitely give it a listen:

Music video for Chris Housman's new country song "Blueneck" (2021). Listen to the TikTok star his latest original song here!https://www.tiktok.com/@chrishous...

The song, if you didn’t click the above link, details what it’s like being a liberal redneck, or as the term has been coined here, a blueneck & I think its success out the gate is no accident. You see there are a lot of us in this world & in this industry who love country music but don’t align with the often bigoted stereotype that comes along with it. I think when you tell someone you work, listen to, perform, or write country music there’s a certain assumption that comes up in their mind around your political beliefs or the way you view human rights issues when for the most part, especially amongst the younger country music industry itself, that narrative is false. We as liberal fans & creators of the genre have been mostly excluded from the narrative of country music in favor of party songs about trucks & beer or loud boasting right leaning artists so much so that the stigma remains regarding country music but dear lord is this a much needed breath of fresh air.

I grew up loving country music of the late 90s, 00s, & 10s (up to a point) where I found grounding & representation in the stories being told. At a certain point, that shifted. We went from heartbreak ballads & story songs to just straight up Yee Yee or songs without purpose. I often find it ironic when ‘country purists” say pop country is killing country music when in reality pop country is one of the few forms of country that is maintaining the heart of country music, which boils doing to telling an honest story. Within the last year especially it seems the gates of relatable storytelling are once again being blown wide open in favor of demographics that are typically not represented in country.

I think it is worth noting that Housman is an out, gay country artist (as is Nell). Hailing from Kansas, much like myself, Chris embodies the country lifestyle & legacy & is more than worthy of inclusion in this genre. However, I fear that much like Mickey Guyton, Chris will face adversity simply for being who he is. As much as it pains me to admit, country still has a lot of gate keepers in the industry & in the fan base lest be forget the attempted “cancellation” of Little Big Town’s “Girl Crush.” Housman’s story is one that so many living in rural America face, we’re often forced to blend in or fake who we are as a survival tactic or we’re forced to alter parts of ourselves simply to fit in. That’s precisely why this song debuted at #1. This song blew up because so many people out there, like myself, like Chris, like Nell, feel exactly like this song’s album cover; we are little dots of blue swimming in a sea of red.

Think I’m even the slightest bit wrong? Go read the comment section on the link I inserted. Go to Chris’s Tik Tok & read the comments on the video he posted for the song. Go look at his instagram story. There is an overwhelming amount of people who didn’t know how badly they needed this song to validate who they are, to show them that they’re not wrong, that they’re just as valid in country music as their redneck counterparts. Country music is changing, quickly. This is evidence & a half of that, just like Guyton’s “Black Like Me” or Maren’s “Better Than We Found It” show. I for one can’t wait to see the direction it’s heading & hope to be a active part of the change as well! Until then I guess I’m a red state blueneck.

Congrats to all involved in this song! I’ll post the lyrics below so you all can give them a read!

Grew up with cornfields in every direction That's where I learned all of my lessons About life and living without fences In the land of the free to have opinions If you gotta job, you oughta make a living George Straight or George Gay, there's no difference People need help and I think that we should listen Three chords and my truth is I'm a good ole boy with a bleeding heart Just a homegrown hick with a hybrid car I think y'all means all and I know we all Just wanna know that we belong There's a lot more color in the mix Whеn you're loud and proud out in the sticks I am what I am, you get what you gеt Yeah, I guess I'm a red state Blueneck My American dream is wide open spaces Plenty of room for us all to be safe in Yeah, that's a future that I'm chasing So I'm gonna go make it I'm a good ole boy with a bleeding heart Just a homegrown hick with a hybrid car I think y'all means all and I know we all Just wanna know that we belong There's a lot more color in the mix When you're loud and proud out in the sticks I am what I am, you get what you get Yeah, I guess I'm a red state Blueneck Yeah, I'm a red state Blueneck Can a country kid wanna see the glass ceiling shatter? Wanna see a world where Black Lives Matter Liberty and Justice for just some of us Ain't how the heartland brought me up I'm a good ole boy with a bleeding heart Just a homegrown hick with a hybrid car I think y'all means all and I know we all Just wanna know that we belong There's a lot more color in the mix When you're loud and proud out in the sticks I am what I am, you get what you get Yeah, I guess I'm a red state Blueneck Yeah, I'm a red state Blueneck Yeah, I'm a red state Blueneck

Blog: Representation In Country Music

I’m not sure if you followed the news coming out of Nashville this past week but for those of you that may have missed it, something revolutionary happened on Wednesday. In a Time Magazine article that dropped around 10 AM Eastern on Wednesday TJ Osborne, of The Brothers Osborne, came out as gay making him the first openly gay major label country artist.

Here’s the article in question, it’s definitely worth the read:

This is a significant milestone in country music for a few reason not the least of these being that almost a decade & a half prior Shelly Fairchild, a Sony signed artist at the time, was dropped by her label because it got leaked to them that she was lesbian.

Shelly commented on Wednesday’s events in an instagram post here:

While I viewed mostly overwhelming support for TJ’s bravery from folks of all walks from around the internet I began to notice a few comments that sought to diminish the effects of truly what he had done. I’m sure a lot of these comments were well meaning but there were a large cluster of comments similar to the following:

“Who cares what he does behind doors, it doesn’t effect their music.”

or

“I’m straight! See, nobody cares. Why do we feel the need to announce this to the world.”

I think TJ himself diminishes the impact that his actions have had & how they will ripple throughout all of history going forward. He mentions in the article that part of the reason he felt he needed to make his sexuality public was that people might think it odd if he were to just show up at an awards show with a male date. His actions, however, cannot be overstated. What TJ has done is open doors for LGBTQ country artists that were previously sealed pretty tight simply because they didn’t fit the mold of “Straight, White, Cis Male.”

I’ll be the first to admit our genre of music has a historically conservative audience; hell I myself have battled with that in the past being a fairly liberal, all accepting human. It’s still hard to carve out a niché as an artist of color, it’s still hard to get “unique” sounds & stories to mainstream radio & labels, & it’s even still incredibly hard for female artists to make it in Nashville but this is progress is being made in the right direction. Country is not a genre limited to the white yokel, despite what stereotypes would say. Some of the biggest country fans I’ve ever met are people of color or members of the alphabet mafia & their stories deserve a platform to be shared as well. It’s clear Nashville is, at the very least, attempting to make steps in the right direction; embracing TJ & signing/promoting artists like Mickey Guyton, Jimmie Allen, & Willie Jones but there still seems to be some major resistance to change. For every black artist or female artist signed there seems to be five white male artists signed. It almost feels like the industry is trying to counter balance or compensate. And I will admit as a straight passing, cis, white male I’m a part of the problem, but I choose to be part of the solution.

This industry needs to be more open to change, more open to different stories being told because dear lord am I tired of the truck/beer/party songs. Country music deserves to be an ever evolving story told by a beautiful mélange of people from completely different walks of life instead of the same damn things over & over again. People are starved for representation in their media, they’re starving for someone who looks like them or has the same sexuality, gender identity, etc. to say that you can do this too, that this can be their dream as well. That their stories have value & are equally important to the culture at large. It deserves to appeal to a mass audience, not just the rural white American. Country music deserves to evolve just as the listener base has, it deserves to be a platform where everyone can tell their stories, not just the privileged. TJ’s openness & the acceptance of said openness is definitely a step in the right direction but we still have a long, long way to go. Representation matters. Openness matters. And the continued acceptance of both matters. We must continue to do better.

Blog: Why No Blogs?

Where have my weekly blogs gone? Why have they disappeared? Well to be fair, they haven’t, I just haven’t been able to post any of the ones I’ve drafted. You see I’m angry, I’m actually beyond angry, I’m livid & it’s not something I can hide any longer.

Every week, for the past whenever I’ve sat down to write a blog. In the past I’ve written on political issues, social issues, recipes, recommendations, details on song construction, etc. I usually try to write what is on my heart for that week to keep things current. That being said, the last few weeks, months, etc. what’s been weighing on my heart is the state of this union & quite frankly, I’m disgusted & I am tired.

I see so many people out here making excuses for the monstrous behavior exhibited by the current administration of the United States. Too many people are okay with the actions of the president & his gooneys, too many people have grown complicit. It seems daily that another new atrocity is unearthed around the Trump administration but a lot of people I know & care about don’t care. At all.

Do you know how hard it is to make something care about something that doesn’t effect them? Do you know how hard it is to try & force people into having an ounce of empathy, into having seeing the what the consequences of their vote have had one marginalized groups. Do you know how infuriating it is to try to show people what is happening just for them to chalk it up to fake news or choose to remain complicit?! It makes it incredibly hard to believe that someone loves or cares about their neighbor when they turn a blind eye to the suffering their chosen leaders inflict upon them.

I’m not going to get into the specifics of Democrats vs. Republicans, I’m not, mostly because the past has shown me that people simply don’t care. Their feelings are easier for them to digest than facts. I know this goes both ways, but we have a wanna be fascist regime in office. I’m not speculating, I’m not hyperbolizing, the things they say are literally fascist/authoritarian rhetoric. I’m someone who has voted on both sides of the aisle BECAUSE I do the research, I look into the problems & see who has the solution that makes the most sense. I do the research. I’m also someone who considers themselves very politically literate so being dismissed as “whatever” “you don't really know” is frankly insulting.

Your black brothers & sisters are crying out for help, your immigrant brothers & sisters are crying out for help, your low income families are crying out for help, your LGBTQ children are crying out for help, your veterans, your Latinos, the Earth we literally all have to live on, are all crying out for help & you’re turning their back on them. All for the sake of an “R” on your ballot. I’m tired of it. Grow a little damn empathy & see how you’re hurting those you claim to love. Open your eyes.

This country WILL NOT survive another four years of this current administration. Do I think the alternative is without fault, hell no, but I see a chance to course correct the destruction & divisiveness of the last four years & I’m taking that, as should you. If you want this nation to continue, if you truly believe the tenets of the Constitution then for the love of God save this Republic.

I’m sorry for the rant but I’m so, so tired. Your neighbors are so, so tired. People are literally out here fighting for their basic human rights & you can’t be bothered to give a shit. Time to own up & open your mind.

Blog: Pride Month, Straight Pride, & Being an LGBTQ+ Ally

First off…

HAPPY PRIDE!!!!!

Whether you’re gay, lesbian, bisexual, transexual, asexual, omnisexual, demisexual, pansexual, queer, non-binary, gender fluid, questioning, a straight ally, or any other identity under the LGBTQ+ mantle; Happy Pride!!!

For those of you that don’t know, June is Pride Month, a month of the year where we shift the lens to focus on those members of our society & our history that are/were LGBTQ+. Pride month exists to draw attention to the marginalized, not to boast one sexuality being greater than another. Pride month exists as a time for celebrating what makes us different, what makes us human, what binds us all; love, or rather love in all of its forms. It also exists as a tool for helping to educate the ignorant & normalize other types of sexualities & genders other than straight or cis. The goal of pride is to show that we don’t live in a world that’s black & white, we live in a world that is a rainbow of millions of different lifestyles & ways to love. Pride month not only is meant as a way to celebrate our differences but is also a way to celebrate the love that we all are capable of sharing & the acceptance we all desire to have.

Now, this year, like most years, there’s a huge push for a “straight pride month” or a “straight pride parade” which I find absolutely ridiculous. For starters, no one is stopping you from attending pride. No where on any LGBTQ+ organization will you find “straights not allowed” (the same can’t be said for the inverse) because again, pride is all about inclusion. The LGBTQ+ community actually encourages straight allies; people within the societal normal that affirm members of the LGBTQ+ community that they are not alone, that they have value to society, that they are deserving of love & acceptance. The main reason that straight pride is insanity is the fact that being straight does not come with the fear of persecution, it does not come with the fear of being beaten on the street for holding your partner’s hand, it does not come with the fear of losing your job when your boss finds out your sexual orientation, it does not come with the fear of being ostracized by your friends & family, it does not come with the fear of “I love you, but,” it does not come with the fear of being kicked out or shut out because you’re different. Being straight is, and has been for thousands of years, the societal norm. That’s changing, slowly, but straight is still, as they say, “the default.” Straight pride is unnecessary, illogical, & if I’m being honest a downright pathetic attempt to reclaim what is believed to be lost ground. Love wins y’all. Love always wins.

To The Allies:

I want to shift my attention back to being an ally for a second because I know there are quite a lot of people out there that identify themselves as straight LGBTQ+ allies but wear that label with conditions, accepting LGBTQ+ friends & family members, but only to a certain extent. Claiming acceptance & showing acceptance & the unconditional love that comes with it are two very different things. You cannot be accepting of someone you love & ask them to hide who they are or deny themselves in public in fear it would reflect badly upon you. You cannot be accepting of someone you love & not use their chosen name or pronouns. You cannot be accepting of someone you love & claim their sexuality is just a phase or that they’re too young to know. You cannot be accepting of someone you love & wish that down the road they would revert to the person you trained yourself to believe they were. You cannot be accepting of someone you love & not stand in solidarity with them when hate comes knocking at their door. You cannot be accepting of someone you love & then actively vote for those that would harm or put into place legislation that would undermine their rights to love whomever they chose or be whoever they want to be. Just because you don’t cut the people off you claim to love does not mean you accept them, it does not mean you are an ally. Just because you don’t kick out your kid or stop talking to your friend or spew hate back at them doesn’t mean you’re accepting of them. Not hating someone or isolating them should not be the standard for acceptance. Acceptance is embracing what makes them different, it’s taking the time to educate yourself on topics you may be completely oblivious to but you do so because you love that person. Acceptance is taking people at their word & trusting that they’re living their true self. Acceptance is asking people about their relationships in an open & interested way, it’s taking an interest in the person they love & putting in effort to form a bond. Acceptance is driving them to their doctors visits, being a pillar of encouragement & strength through their transition, & loving their new identity whole heartedly. It is your job as an LGBTQ+ ally to be a beacon of love in a world that so often hates them not to tell them to act straighter or conform to the societal norm.

To The LGBTQ+ Community:

To those who pray to God every night begging to have your identity taken away, I stand in solidarity with you.

To those that feel like their family’s “dirty little secret,” like your identity or who you love gets swept under the rug, I stand in solidarity with you.

To those living on the street because the people that claimed to love you wouldn’t accept you, I stand in solidarity with you.

To those that feel like they’ll never be able to live their true self, I stand in solidarity with you.

To those who are fighting with feeling like they have to choose their family & friends or themselves, I stand in solidarity with you.

To those who are picked on, bullied, rejected, fired, assaulted, or abused just because you’re different, I stand in solidarity with you.

To those trying desperately to shift self loathing into love, I stand in solidarity with you.

To those hesitant to drape the pride flag around their shoulders in fear of physical or emotional violence, I stand in solidarity with you.

To those that feel the world has turned its back on them, I stand in solidarity with you.

To those that never feel like they’ve been represented properly in media, I stand in solidarity with you.

To those desperately searching for love & acceptance, I stand in solidarity with you.

To the millions of marginalized humans around the globe, I stand in solidarity with you.

To the millions that would rather die than be who they are, I stand in solidarity with you.

To the outcasts, the unwanted, the rebels, the dreamer.

To the different, the beautiful, the unique, the defiant.

To the marchers, the activists, the lovers, the fighters.

I stand in solidarity with you.

Love is love. Love will always win. Keep pushing on, keep being strong, & keep fighting for a better tomorrow.