USA

Blog: Well If It Isn't The Consequences Of My Own Actions...

TW: Transphobic Comments, Anti-LGBTQ Rhetoric, Strong Language

If you aren’t a listener of country music or if you don’t pay attention to news cycles, the events of the last week may have completely missed you. If you’re reading that first line going “yeah, I don’t have a clue what you could be alluding to,” allow me to fill you in. Failed artist & second wife to country singer (a gracious title at best) Jason Aldean, Brittany Aldean, posted something regarding trans/LGBTQ kids & in which she referred to the plight of trans kids & their desire for gender affirmation comparing it to a “tom boy phase” & being “glad he parents didn’t change her gender” when she went through it. To which the conservative side of the country industry all started pilling in on, her husband Jason even going so far as to say “yeah, I don’t think we would have worked out.”

Cassadee Pope called her out on twitter with the following tweet:

Maren Morris then joined in on the rhetoric & tweeted the following:

To which Fox News pundit & overall really atrocious human Candace Owens replied:

The two then went back & forth giving the following exchange:

“Artists” like Aldean & RaeLynn also begin sharing their support for Brittany’s remarks along with the wife of one hit wonder, Chuck Wicks, & Whitney Duncan.

Later country artist, Ryan Hurd, & subsequent husband to Morris also weighed in tweeting the following:

And round & round it went including RaeLynn spending a bachelorette weekend toting a “Daddy T” hat & owning the moniker of ‘Insurrection Barbie,” Aldean & Wicks dropping a fundraiser for victims of child trafficking through the sale of shirts that said “Don’t Tread On Our Kids” of which only part of the proceeds went to the charity in question, & Maren posting a reel of a speech she gave live at a show the evening of the happenings stating the following:

So why bring this all up? Why dedicate an entire blog to this infighting within the country music world? Well, because for once, there were consequences for the actions of those involved.

It’s not hard to guess what side of this argument I fall on. I struggle to find a member of my friend group & chosen family who do not belong to the Alphabet Mafia. I also want to make it clear that I’m not over here trying to be divisive or throw my hat into the ring where this argument is concerned, I want to highlight a point here & in actuality, maybe help bridge the wide ass political gap this country has at the moment.

Yesterday it was announced the GreenLight Publicity Firm, a firm that has worked with Jason for the entirety of his career will be dropping Aldean as a client, due to the harmful narrative that he & his wife helped to perpetuate this week. Now before you start going all “cancel culture this” & “cancel culture that” & “they’re trying to silence us” & “blah, blah, blah” let’s pause & examine shall we?

I have no issue with being politically opposed where issues of state & finance are concerned. I’m fine to sit down & have a conversation with someone who swings right about how we as a country spend our money or the advantages & disadvantages of certain social services, etc, etc. However, where the divide in this country has materialized is not about policy any longer, I will say in this instance the MAGA crowd is correct, it’s about morality only there within the Far Right lives a fallacy built on blame, name calling, & division. We are no longer voting along the lines of policy, we are voting along the lines of morality, & morality & human rights are not up for debate.

I don’t know if you as a reader have ever struggled with being a societal “other;” whether you’re BIPOC, or Queer, or an immigrant, or any combination of the above, it’s hard simply getting by day to day. It is no easy feat for a young individual to come to the conclusion that they are trans or non-binary. It is no easy feat to outwardly choose to expose & express yourself as a member of the “other” knowing full well you may face the ire of those who view themselves “morally opposed” to who you are as a person & human being. There in lies the line we as a society, are fortunately, starting to draw.

Things were bleak in the states for a while during the years of Trump especially for those in the societal minorities. I’m sure if you’re a long time reader of mine you can not the point when I stopped feeling the need to constantly report on the harmful policies being put in place. For those of us who exist on the fringe the last couple years have started to feel more & more hopeful, after four years of dread.

Along with this hope, especially in the last year or so, has come a return in what is becoming more or less socially acceptable & the morality of The US as a country has swung back more in the direction of progress & inclusivity as opposed to scapegoating & fear mongering. With this uptick in “um, that’s not okay” has also come the natural progression of people like Aldean seeing the consequences that hateful, ignorant comments will land you. Have a lot of his fanbase doubled down? Of course, it’s hard to change a mind through a news cycle but it is refreshing to see, especially in country music, someone get chastised for the harmful things they perpetuate & outwardly endorse.

I’ve never identified as a trans individual, I’ve have never felt any inkling that I was born in the wrong body, so I can’t imagine how hard of an identity that is to come to terms with. I’m sure a lot of you reading this fall in that boat as well, but imagine you’ve wrestled with who you are for the entirety of your life & finally have the clarity & peace of mind to express that outwardly. I can’t imagine what an uphill battle it must be just getting through the day to day with the filth people spew at you just for trying to claim your happiness & wholeness. I can’t imagine simply wanting to use a restroom & being assaulted both physically & verbally for it. I can’t imagine posting a picture where you finally see the person you’ve always known you were underneath & having people accost you over the internet. I simply cannot imagine it because it is outside of anything within my field of experience but I empathize with you. I stand with you. I recognize your struggle & am here to be whatever you need me to be.

We as a country, as a world, are sorely lacking empathy. We get so caught up in the “me, me, me’s” that we lose sight of the “us.” I’m glad these ignorant comments & harmful policies are no longer going unchecked. It’s how we build a world that is more inclusive & supportive of everyone, not just those who look, act, sound, & identify like us.

I’m sorry for the late posting on this, the jet lag really did me in this weekend but if you’d like to donate to help trans youth across the country Maren Morris is currently selling shirts where 100% of the proceeds go to the Trans Lifeline & the GLAAD Trans Media Project. I’ll post the link about it below:

As always I hope you’ve had a fantastic weekend, much love to each of you. I challenge you this week to lean into your discomfort, to sit down & hear or read the story of someone whose life is on the societal fringe. Then I challenge you to find that glowing ember of empathy in your heart.

-C

I feel called to finish this off with a quote from the late Billy Block who would always close out his radio segment with “Remember, if you see someone without a smile, give them yours.”

Have a great holiday weekend!

Blog: No Hate Like Christian Love

Hold up, hold up, hold up. I know a few of you have read that title & immediately gone into defensive mode & have a paragraph long comment ready, but how about we hear what I’m trying to say first? I think it’s also worth noting for the assumed bias of this blog that I myself identify as Christian, though I am far beyond the point of disillusionment with the church at this point & if we’re being honest so are a lot of people these days.

America has seen a drastic drop in new christians or individuals attending churches in the last few decades but for the life of a lot of the religious leaders they can’t seem to figure out why. They blame it on the media, they blame it on culture, on politicians, on x, y, z, but never seem to want to look internally. You see, so many of us who no longer find ourselves as congregational regulars grew up in churches; we grew up going to Sunday school & vacation bible school & lived through all of the “keep the Christ in Christmas” ish & those who remain in the hallowed halls don’t seem to understand why we don’t want to go back or actively attend those churches any longer. The answer is a simple one, we learned about Jesus, his way, his light, & we didn’t see his teachings being implemented, practiced, or reflected by those within the church, so we left. Truly I say unto you the most Christ-like individuals I’ve even known have a strong distain for the church.

To put this all in perspective the statement in the title above has become one that I’ve seen expressed more & more frequently over the last few years, “no hate like christian love.” If you as someone who identifies as such don’t see that & immediately see the problem I hate to break it to you, but I think you’ve missed the point of your religion. Christianity has become so synonymous with hate, bigotry, white nationalism, fascism, misogyny, homophobia/transphobia, xenophobia, islamophobia, racism, etc. that the statement “no hate like christian love” rings true to very large groups of individuals. So much of our culture’s pain & modern reliance unfortunately owes itself to years & years of religious trauma & continued attempts at oppression.

In recent years the US political climate has become more & more divisive swinging aggressively more & more towards a fascist right. Those leading that charge are claiming to do so in the name of God, they say God is disappearing from a country that was never a theocracy & founded itself on the principles of religious freedom, meaning freedom from others forcing their religion views onto you, & want to bring America back into its “former greatness.” A “former greatness” that holds a lot of pain, suffering, & lack of rights for those who find themselves in minority groups. Tell me, where are the teachings of Jesus in that? The campaigns of these Christian Nationalists go entirely against the teachings of Christ. They actively shun & vilify the “foreigner,” the needy, the immigrant, the refugee, the less fortunate, the different, the other. They propose laws to limit rights of these individuals, they strip back protections in place that give these individuals a chance at having an equal life to them, & they do so all in the name of “christian love.”

Often there is a bubble created around a church community, a church home if you will. This is a place, in theory, meant to allow you to feel love unconditionally from your fellow christians, to have support systems in place that allow you to express your pains & burdens freely & get support while remaining unjudged. I have never felt more judged or more completely ostracized than by members of the church who often use their born again status as a means to justify their hatefulness when things don’t fit their preconceived mold. Now people are looking around & seeing a congregation that reflects one way of being, one style of life, often limited diversity from a nationality, race, sexuality, gender identity, & social class & finding it lacking. They see themselves & the world more represented in the faces of their peers & diversified friend groups than they do in the pews on any given Sunday.

The bubble also often acts as a safe haven for abusers. We all know, very effectively the crimes of the Catholic church, thanks to the journalists at Spotlight out of Boston, but this guard isn’t limited to the catholic church. I’ve heard innumerable stories regarding the handing of abuse within the church. Higher ups will make excuses for abusers & protect them at all costs instead of hearing out the side of the abused. They refuse to acknowledge the often ugly side of humanity & outwardly condemn these actions that overall harm the community at large & weaken the bonds of a church.

The complete & utter lack of critical thinking is also a major deterrent for those looking to join the church. So much of the counter culture that christians justify with the bible has either been altered completely for political agendas (see the RSV translation of 1946) or completely lacks historical context. There also happens to be a lot of picking & choosing which verses to follow & which to omit completely from the modern dichotomy because “things were different back then.” It’s blatant hypocrisy & when faced with facts alternative to the fiction they’ve painted in their heads or carried their whole lives they refuse to even consider the possibility of them no matter who it harms or what damage it does to their brothers & sisters in Christ or the world at large.

If we as Christians were truly following the ways of Christ we’d embrace those around us with open arms, celebrating what makes them different & unique. We’d help refugees & immigrants unconditionally. We wouldn’t hoard wealth & covet riches when so many are doing everything in their power just to have a scrap of food to eat. We’d lovingly take preventative measures to insure that our neighbors & those at higher risks can remain safe & disease free. We’d recognize the disconnect & disadvantages certain communities & minorities have systematically & do everything in our power to overturn them. We’d be voting for people who want to help the less fortunate, not ostracize them. We’d be embracing our children for who they are whole heartedly not kicking them out of our homes or shaming them. I personally believe that Christ would be disgusted by the modern church & those in attendance & clearly a growing majority feels the same way. I think we need to take "no hate like christian love” as a major red flag & find ways to correct course immediately, taking proactive measures to correct the damage done to those who are bearing the brunt of the “love.”

I hope this blog wasn’t too much of a rant or a finger wag, I also hope most of you made it through this. This world deserves better, the people in our communities deserve better. I know at the end of the day we’re all human but if the saying goes “they’ll know we are christians by our love” then it should be love people know christians by, not the over abundance of hate radiating from the steeples.

I hope you all have a great weekend,

As always, much love to you all!

-C

Blog: Yet Another Blog About Why We Still Need Pride

The past few years anytime June has rolled around I’ve written blogs regarding why Pride Month is still a relevant & important thing. Each time I write this blog I hope it’ll be the last time I have to but each year it seems to be more & more in demand. If you are a frequent reader of these snapshots my brain dumps in the form of weekly blogs, as always thank you, but you may have also read a lot of what will be discussed going forward in this blog regarding the state of LGBTQIA+ politics.

A few months ago I wrote a blog about the egregious, slimy, blatantly trans & homophobic attacks legislators are attempting &/or succeeding to legalize around the US. I guess a bit of this will be an update on all of that in addition to the new wave.

Unfortunately the “Don’t Say Gay” bill passed in the state of Florida. The DeSantis imposed law restricts & even outright bans the mere mention of anything remotely LGBTQ in Florida public schools. That includes teachers discussing their same sex partner or spouse, the same sex parents of one of their students, etc. It creates a dangerous lack of support around same sex education & limits the scope to which so many important figures in history achieved greatness in spite of the odds. It perpetuates the stigma of those members of the LGBTQIA+ community being “other” & is harmful not only to those students that identify as such & feel they can’t be themselves openly around their peers as well as the already systematically intrenched cast divides of this country. Fortunately the part of the bill requiring teachers to report any LGBTQIA identifying students did not pass & I have a hard time believing the bill will stand in light of the massive walkouts, speeches, etc. being executed by those whose schools have been affected.

In addition to Florida’s BS there’s also Texas’s that we need to discuss.

Governor Abbot’s attacks seem to have the trans community at the heart of his hatred. Over the last year he has tried to make it a crime for parents to support their trans children labeling it as child abuse & has been sending out Child Protective Services to investigate any & all claims of parents outwardly embracing their child’s identity. Luckily this executive order is currently on hold due to a federal court case blocking the order. That hasn’t stopped Abbott though who earlier this week made it legal for healthcare workers in Texas to refuse treatment to trans individuals.

On top of that, on the federal level we need to talk about Roe v. Wade.

Whether you stand on the 30% side who want to ban abortion or the 70% who don’t is not that aspect of Roe we need to discuss today. Roe v Wade was a case won on the grounds of privacy just like Griswold v Connecticut (right to contraception), Loving v Virginia (right to interracial marriage), Lawrence v Texas (banning of sodomy laws), & Obergefell v Hodges (right to same sex marriage). Each one of these cases stands as the law of the land because the losing party infringed upon the privacy of private citizens in their own homes. Let’s just look at those last two shall we Lawrence & Obergefell. Each of these specifically targets the LGBTQ community. If over turned they would effectively leave the rights of those individuals up to states, there would be an overnight witch hunt for those opposing to turn in their LGBTQ neighbors. I also understand that, in this case, all of this is hypothetical & you may be sitting on the other side of your computer, device, whatever, saying “oh, they’d never overturn those” but each of the Supreme Court Justices who are siding with the overturning of Roe v Wade said they had no intention of touching Roe in their confirmation hearings as well. Every. Single. One. Which is an impeachable discussion for another time.

What is my point in all this? My point is that there is still a long, long way to go. This country has a long, long way to go before those members of the LGBTQIA+ community have the same God given rights & treatments as their CIS/Het peers. That’s not even mentioning the atrocities exhibited outside the US towards members of the community.

I also don’t mean to be a downer, Pride is meant to be a celebration of who you are & what makes you special. It is a festival of love & acceptance & what it means to be human.

If you are a member of the community or an ally, I wish you all a Happy Pride Month! To everyone else, Happy Pride Month to you as well & ask that you take the time to get to know someone who identifies as LGBTQIA+, & I mean really get to know them. Come to the table with an open mind & heart & you may be surprised not only by what you learn about others but also about yourself. If you’re someone who uses the good book to harm or limit the rights of others you are no true christian nor do I believe that you’ve actually read your bible or know its history of alteration for personal & political gain.

I know tonight’s blog was a little on the heavier side content wise but I want you all to know I love you deeply just as you are & that you always have a friend & ally in me. Family doesn’t have to be restricted to the one you’re born into, there are people in this world who will embrace you whole heartedly & authentically, they’ll help you patch the pain & mend the heartache. You are absolutely as you were meant to be. You are loved, you are worthy, & you are enough.

Much love to you all,

-C

Blog: Do We Still Need Pride Month?

How is it already the end of June?! How has 2021 flown by so quickly?!

At the beginning of the month I knew I wanted to, at the very least, write something about Pride Month, seeing how June is Pride Month. So, I guess, why not make it the last blog of the month? I was wracking my brain over & over searching for what I wanted to write about this year as I usually do some form of Pride post in the month of June. Did I mention it’s the month of June & it’s also Pride Month? Sorry haha, just feel like I’ve said that a lot in my first couple lines of this blog. Anywho, back to it. I was struck by this idea for a blog post when I came across the comments section of the CMT Pride Playlist on the godless wasteland we all know as Facebook along with a slurry of hateful individual posing the question “why do they still need a Pride Month?” Their rationale being that “they got their right to legally wed” along with, of course, “there’s no straight pride month.” Vom. The post is hyperlinked if you’d like to go read the rest of these truly distasteful humans’ comments or if you just want to listen to the playlist itself. This blatant ignorance got me thinking though, do we still need an LGBTQ+ Pride Month? I mean it’s not like, though it should be more so, it shines a light on LGBTQIA+ history? So, should pride month still exist as a form of visibility for members of the alphabet mafia, after all, marriage equality is the law of the land. But then after the smallest fraction of a nanosecond I immediately landed on the answer being “of course we do.”

People who are members of the LGBTQIA+ community are still, in terms of rights & opportunity, considered second class citizens in this country we call the United States. That’s not to even mention the atrocities they face around the world by simply being who they are or loving who they love. They are disproportionately discriminated against, attacked, brutalized, rejected, marginalized, & forced to the sidelines of society when compared to their CIS gendered, heterosexual peers; especially when it comes to transgender people of color. I think all too often, at least outside of the community, the perception is that the battle is over, the fight has been won but I’d argue it’s just getting started.

Let’s take Arizona for example. In 1991 the state made it illegal for any teacher to promote LGBTQ+ “propaganda.” That meant anything from same sex education, to expressions of gender identity, to even the acknowledgement of certain historical figures being a member of the community. This wasn’t even the full extent of the law though. Say a student was struggling with their identity in any form other than heteronormativity. If they were to go to one of their teachers & ask for advice or assistance & the teacher offered any form of advice other than “talk to your parents” or anyone other than me & they were caught doing so they would be fined upwards of $5,000 dollars & have their teaching license called into question just for trying to be helpful or offer mentorship to a struggling student. Fortunately, that law has since been eradicated though that hasn’t stopped Arizona law makers from trying to implement similar laws in its place. As recent as April of this year a motion was put into effect to try & make it illegal for any school to teach about anything the government deemed even remotely LGBTQ+. This included historical figures, events, mention anything about gender expression or sexuality outside the CIS/Hetero. It also, unsurprisingly, included lessons about the HIV/AIDs epidemic unless all students involved had signed consent from their parent or guardian. (link) Sounds just like a diet version of the previous law.

I’m sure some of you are going to make the argument in favor of that policy since “students should be learning at school, not exploring their identity” but adolescence is the time in most of our lives in which we call our identities into question. The “who am I” of it all becomes a constant part of middle & high school life & if you don’t have a way to investigate that or ask even the most innocent of questions without feeling like who you are is unworthy of societal recognition then that can lead down some dark hallways.

Let’s talk stats:

90% of LGBTQ+ students reported hearing anti-LGBTQ+ slurs on a daily basis in their schools. Most saying they average hearing around 23 a day.

Around 28% of all LGBTQ+ identifying students end up dropping out of school due to harassment, not only from their peers.

About a quarter of LGB youth report having been physically assaulted because of their sexuality, a higher average of around half of any trans students say the same.

An astonishing 3/4ths of trans students reported having been sexually harassed simply because of their gender identity.

LGBTQ+ youth are twice as likely to abuse drugs or alcohol as compared to their CIS/Het peers.

Anywhere from 20-40% of queer youth have reported homelessness at one time or another though it is thought that number may be much higher.

(link)

Let’s look outside of schools shall we?

We all remember the trans military ban of 2017 right? Sounds like equality winning out to me. What about in 2019 when the previous administration made an attempt that allowed insurances to legally deny an individual coverage simply based on gender expression. In addition to being a massive blow to the transgender & non-binary folks living in this country, it also would have allowed doctors to deny care to anyone with an LGBTQ+ identity. (link) I angry wrote an entire blog post about this that I ended up never posting, I can still see it sitting in my drafts out of the corner of my eye as I write this. The crazy thing is, these two movements barely scratch the surface of the damage the previous administration did or attempted to do to the queer community at large! Here’s a full list if you’d like…(link) Fortunately a lot of these measures have been reversed by the current administration, though not all of them.

Let’s talk more stats:

LGBTQ+ suicides account for 30% of all suicide deaths.

Greater than 50% of those identifying as transgender say they have at one time or another attempted suicide.

1/5th of all LGBTQ+ individuals report having experienced hiring discrimination with people of color reporting a higher number of 2/5ths.

Around 46% of all LGBTQ+ members aren’t out to their coworkers work mostly in fear of discrimination in one way or another from their peers as well as higher ups.

(link)

But it can’t all be bad can it? Well luckily, no! According to a recent survey, Gen-Z is the queerest generation we’ve ever seen, at least from an honest statistical standpoint. According to a 2021 Gallup poll roughly 15% of all Gen-Z-ers polled identified as LGBTQ+ in one way or another, sometimes multiple! It seems the more recent we go generationally, the more people are willing to express their true selves openly & authentically with the Millennial statistic being about 1 in 10. (link) Another beautiful thing happening is that more & more fortune 500 companies are beginning to cater to the needs of their queer staff with around 91% actively making positive changes to their discrimination policies in regards to LGBTQ+ matters, another 53% offering benefits for civil unions, & 65% offering transgender inclusive healthcare plans, and these numbers are rapidly climbing!

So I ask you. Do we still need Pride Month? Do you think the course has been corrected enough to warrant a stall in the fight for equal rights or do you think, like me, that there is still a long, long way to go. I’d like to issue you a small challenge. I’d like you to be a little bit of introspection here & look at how you treat you LGBTQIA+ peers. Is it the same as how you treat your CIS gendered or heterosexual friends? If not, what can you change? Are you as an employer doing what you need to do to be inclusive? Are you as a parent, as a friend, as a sibling doing enough? I want you to look at yourself honestly & answer that question. Are you electing individuals who enact policies that harm marginalized communities such as these? Are you treating all of your neighbors with the love, respect, & decency they deserve or are you stabbing them in the back behind closed doors, from the other side of a keyboard, or in the polling station? I seriously want you to ask yourself these things, to get your ego out of the way, to got the “what about me” out of the way & open your eyes to what is actually happening in the world around you. I didn’t even make a dent in the hindrances of freedom for members of the queer community here, mostly because I wanted to focus on the US, where it is currently Pride Month. I’d advise you to do your own research, to go into these comment sections & see for yourself because if you willingly turn a blind eye to the suffering of others how is that coming from a place of love?

I’ll leave you with one last bit, brought to you by the weapon most used against those in the LGBTQ+ community:

“Truly I tell you, whatever you do unto the least of those among you, you have done unto me.”
— Mark 25: 40

Happy Pride Everyone! Be proud of who you are & the path that led you here! Keep fighting the good fight & know that love is always the answer.

-C

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