Trans

Blog: Selective Solidarity Is Just Disguised Oppression

I started out this blog under that notion of one having their cake & eating it too, but for me, I don’t think that hit hard enough. So, I scoured the web & found some more options, the one that punched the most, naturally, ended up as our title for today. I want to lay out a few other favorites of mine that may help convey what this blog is about & I’m sure get those of you who probably need to read it the most to check out immediately. Here they are (we’ll go light to heavy on this:

  • You want your bread buttered on both sides.

  • You can’t walk on both sides of the street.

  • You’re talking out of both sides of your mouth.

  • You can’t ride two horses with one ass.

  • You can’t straddle the fence forever.

  • You can’t dance with the devil & call it worship (I almost went with this one).

  • You can’t say you love my while stabbing me in the back (another great one that I almost went with).

  • Allyship isn’t a label, it’s a practice (allyship felt too affirming to me in the context for which this blog will be written, so it also didn’t make the cut.)

Anyway, if you haven’t guessed by now, this blog will be not too dissimilar from what continues to be my most popular blog of all time, No Hate Like Christian Love, in the sense that we are going to talk about those who claim to love or support marginalized friends, family members, coworkers, acquaintances, etc. while actively supporting those who would seek to do violence against the groups in question.

I can already hear the groans. Really? Violence? Don’t be hyperbolic. So let’s give a little vocabulary lesson right quick shall we? Violence, as defined by the Cambridge Dictionary are actions that are intended to or likely to hurt people or cause damage. I specifically chose to use the word violence for this exact reason, because a lot of folks out there only think that an act of violence is physical & I think the word violence carries with it a connotation & an imagery that to most people is repulsive to a degree. We recoil from the idea. But the word violence also paints a beautifully tragic picture that I think helps nail in the point of all of this.

Now I want you to know that I will be getting specific in this here blog. I will be using exact names of individuals, exact events with sources, & will be mostly talking from my perspective as a queer individual, because that is where my lived experience lies, but naturally this point carries across to the many marginalized communities being affected by the executive orders, rhetoric, & laws being passed by the current admin. We would also be here for an eternity if I brought immigrants, veterans, impoverished people, racial minorities, women, etc. into this. I also need this blog to be an expression of the times we are living in, specifically in the United States of America under the second Trump administration. I can just hear the clicks on the ‘x’s’ at the top left for the screen continuing.

On March 9th, 2025 Donald Trump reposted a photo on his Truth Social account depicting a pink triangle crossed out with an opinion piece from the Washington Post praising him & AD Hegseth for their renewed ban of trans military members. Read more here. The Pink Triangle in question that adorns the image being that which gay individuals were forced to wear by the Nazi’s during WWII, specifically in concentration camps. Now, this is not the first time the administration has shared or sympathize directly with Nazi ideals. See Charlotte “Fine People,” Trump Praises Hitler, Elon Musk Salute/Holocaust Denial, Trump’s Continued Attempts At Trans Eradication, need I go on?…because sadly I can for a while… This post, naturally, sparked outrage amongst the LGBTQIA+ community who saw it for what it is, a blaring Dog Whistle.

You see many of us have been warning those we know who are shameless Trump voters of these coming threats for years, specifically when this past year’s election cycle came about, & we were all met with the same excuses or push back. “He’s not coming after anyone’s rights.” See here. “No one is coming for marriage equality.” See here. “But the economy.” See here. Or “the grocery prices” See here. Glad you sold your marginalized loved ones down the river just so you could hypothetically have cheaper groceries even though every major economist on the planet rightfully predicted that it would have the opposite effect.

And this is what gets me, election cycle after election cycle. The people who are in your life who profess to love you “unconditionally.” Time & time again, they are those who vote flagrantly against your rights as a member of a marginalized community & then when you get upset with them over it & over the things that are happening that you told them repeatedly would happen, they act like they didn’t know or that they are not partially at fault. They also don’t understand that even if they are 1 in 77,302,580ths responsible, that they still saw all of the ways this admin would damage your life & the lives of millions of others & signed off on it, put their literal stamp of approval on the man, his cronies in the cabinet, & their promised acts of retribution & violence against “the least of these.” Then they except you not to feel betrayed by that, to act as if nothing has happened, & that their brand of “unconditional love” doesn’t count when it comes to the voting booth. It’s gaslighting at its finest. Then, God forbid, they have the audacity to rub it in your face, to fly a MAGA flag or wear a MAGA hat or make jokes at your expense, all of which are signals to anyone who belongs to a minority that “you are not welcome here” & “I am not a safe person to be around.” They choose garish gloating &, a lovely german term, schadenfreude in place of compassion & empathy, both of which are much too late to be properly exhibited anyway.

You don’t get to stand on the grounds that you love or support someone & then turn around & blatantly vote their rights as a human being away without consequence. You don’t get to do that & expect them to treat you the same, to not feel entirely betrayed by you when you especially when they’ve wasted their breath trying to get you to understand the damage that will be done. Especially after witnessing the damage done from 2016-2020. I am so sick of the rhetoric or “but both sides” or “it’ll all change again in four years anyway” when clearly, clearly that is not the case. One side of the aisle, while they may be completely inefficient, does not actively seek to tear apart the lives of those who they have painted a target upon just because they can or just because it distracts from their inability or desire to fix the problems they perpetuate.

Naturally this is a hot button topic for me, as it seems to be for so many of my friends who find themselves on the receiving end of the Trump policies. So many of us who are openly LGBTQIA+, immigrants, environmentalists, non-evangelicals, non-white, are finding ourselves face to face with the heartbreak that is thinking the people you love, who you would do anything for, would do the same for you & quickly finding out they won’t even do something as simple as vote in your favor. It’s a terrible feeling, one I wouldn’t wish on anyone, & the worse part of it is, as I aforementioned, that they want you to continue on like they haven’t overtly committed acts of violence against you. They are fine being your oppressors if it gets them even the slightest perceived advantage in life & they will/have done so unapologetically. Not even unapologetically, but with outright disregard, deflecting any & all accountability & shifting blame or leaning into whataboutisms to avoid the reality & the harm of their actions. Then they wonder why we don’t want to be around them anymore.

I’m sorry if this was a tough read, I’m sorry if this was triggering for you. If you’re someone maybe not on the receiving end it might be time to look into the ‘why.’ I write this out of a desire to inform & with passion because it kills me. It kills me to experience it & it kills me to see so many beautiful human beings who are deserving of all of the love in the world have the same things happen to them. I write this to show you all what has been done & what continues to be done out of some, probably false, hope that someone will read this & finally understand & not continue making the same mistakes going forward. You cannot love your black, brown, white, immigrant, citizen, queer, trans, non-binary, etc., etc., etc. neighbor by voting against them. It is contradictory, hypocritical, & above all an act of violence against them. Where is the ‘love’ in that?

It’s tough out there, please be safe, take care of yourself & one another, & know that I love you.

Much love to you all,

-C

Blog: How Long Before You Say “Tennessee Ya" To Tennessee?

Cheeky title aside this post does require a bit of a trigger warning. It’s also probably worth noting that all points & facts here within are valid & true especially regarding laws & events, that’s not to say they won’t include my own feelings about them.

Thanks.

Trigger Warning: Homophobic/Transphobic Language, Suicide, Fascism, & Racism

If you’re not a Tennessee resident you may have missed just how awful the last month & specifically the last 24 hours have been for marginalized groups here, especially where the LGBTQ & Black communities are concerned. Within the last 24 hours Tennessee’s drag ban has been signed, the bill that bans parents from supporting gender affirming care for their trans children was signed, a Republican house member advocated for the legalization of lynching, & a banner appeared off the highway over Chestnut Street in Nashville praising Bill Lee, our horrid governor, for “tirelessly working to fight trannies & fags” saying “we must secure the existence of our people & future for white children” with a massive picture of Tennessee brandishing a swastika. To say that yesterday was defeating for a lot of us would be an understatement.

A lot of this has been an ongoing fight for the last month or so, we all waited with bated breath to see if these bills would pass the Tennessee house & then the senate, & of course, they did despite the innumerable logical arguments put in place to oppose their existence. It also feels like the first in what will undoubtably be a long string of human rights violations aimed at those who fall within the LGBTQ community coming out of Tennessee. I want to break each of these down a little so that they’re understood & can be recognized for what they are; hateful, targeted, bigoted laws.

The TN Drag Ban, which goes into effect on July 1st, 2023, will make it a felony for anyone to be dressed for performance in the “clothing opposite their biological gender” within a public space. This includes, but is not limited to, drag, any performance containing gender swapped characters (Hairspray, Ms Doubtfire, Tootsie), trans performers, & cosplay. The law makes it so that any performance containing said features must be labeled as 18+ content & anyone caught performing outside of this regulation will receive a federal sex offender charge. The law also reclassifies the art of drag as burlesque & requires establishments that support it to reapply for their license under, essentially the same business blanket as a strip club. This will cause any bar, brunch, or other location who continues hosting drag brunches & the like to relinquish their liquor license in favor of creating inclusive spaces for all people. This bill also throws into question what is to be done for performances such as Shakespeare or, as aforementioned, Ms Doubtfire & Hairspray, both of which have tour stops at TPAC in 2024. Additionally it bars drag performers from pride events going forward & throws in questions regarding the safety & legality of those within the trans community. Additionally the wording in the bill itself is incredibly vague, which is no doubt intentional.

Let’s bounce one sentence back & let’s move into the gender affirming care ban.

The second law that was signed on the desk of the repugnant Bill Lee yesterday was that which prevents parents & medical providers from providing their children with gender affirming care. This means that if a child, teen, what have you comes to their parents & says ‘I believe in my heart of hearts that I was born the wrong gender,’ that their parents are now legally bound to do nothing. They can’t provide their child with counseling that would help them to understand & move forward in their desired identity, they can’t advocate for their child in a medical sense regarding anything around their desired gender, they are limited, essentially, in what they can now legally do as parents to support their child who is already going through probably one of the most difficult times in their life under the threat of felony charges. Medical personal can no longer take steps towards assisting trans youth in any regard that affirms their new identity. What this will result in is even more of what the south is facing post abortion bans where finding doctors & nurses is becoming fairly impossible. Additionally it will cause the suicide rates of those effected, trans youth, to sky rocket. Though I would assume that’s no skin off of these legislator’s backs.

I’m going to circle back to the capital punishment discussion within the TN house yesterday since I think the first two points & the last, the banner, are all within the same line of thought & the banner was in direct response to Bill signing the two bills into law.

This banner, which I explained the contents of above, is not the first neo-nazi sentiment we’ve had come out of this state in the last 24 hours, nor is it the only one pointed at the LGBTQ community. Additionally it was discovered that a neo-nazi group & local resident, Tonya Holley, who is also a member of the Daughters of the Confederacy, have put together a “hit list” of members of the LGBTQ living within Pulaski, TN. Pulaski also happens to be the founding place of the KKK. These individuals & the associated list have already been reported to Homeland Security but that hasn’t stopped members of the local government from requesting “legitiment names” of LGBTQ city members so that they can run them through the registered sex offender list, in spite of several members of the city counsel being well established members of the offender list in question.

Another item on the docket of the current Tennessee Congress has been capital punishment & reimplementing it specifically using firing squads & hangings. One member of the house, Paul Sherrell, argued that lynching should also be amended into the bill & should be legalized within the state despite having recently been outlawed nationwide. This legislator is the same who openly submitted a bill to change the name of Representative John Lewis Way to Donald Trump Way & apparently has never been shy or coy about his feelings towards the black members of the state of Tennessee.

All of this happened in a day. One singular day. And while the laws may have been coming down the pipeline for a while, the implementation & aggressive response to their implementation has all happened within the span of 24 hours. It’s gotten so bad that I’ve had people texting me asking if I need to move, to leave my home, which I am an owner of, & move to somewhere more progressive, While I don’t exactly think I’m there yet, I’m beginning to wonder what will be the straw that breaks the camels back for me? What will it take to dip out of this backwards ass state & its hateful legislators who have far more to be concerned about than stripping people of their rights. Maybe let’s focus on the 1/4th of all people living below the poverty line? Maybe let’s focus on how we’re in the 80th percentile for child & maternity mortality rates, or how we have one of the worst healthcare & education systems in the entire country. Maybe, just maybe, we should focus on the things that improve people’s lives instead of those that hinder them. Maybe we should figure out a way to get the 60+% of registered voters within the state who didn’t show up to vote for the midterms, the governor race, the state congressional race, to vote.

I don’t know what will be the last straw for me, truly I don’t, but I am so beyond sick & tired of hearing this “it’s just as bad on both sides” of the aisle argument when there is one clear group stripping rights, targeting marginalized groups, endangering Americans, destroying our futures & our planet, ostracizing people, flagrantly cheating to get ahead at the polls, damaging people’s lives, & encouraging hate groups while the other side of the aisle seeks to protect this nation & all of its people. These two things are not the same & never will be. For the 380+ bills introduced just these past three months that strip LGBTQ rights I would challenge anyone to find a single one that limits the rights of those on the opposite side of the fence. They don’t exist. This culture war is costing real human beings their lives over a completely fabricated enemy. We are not groomers. I am not a groomer, none of my LGBTQ friends are groomers nor have they ever been. What we are is uncles, aunts, siblings, sons, daughters, neighbors, coworkers, tax payers, employers, etc, etc, etc just trying to live our lives in peace. No one is taking the rights or the right away but they’re damn sure taking away the rights of those they’ve decided are “the enemy.”

I hope you have a great week or weekend, whenever you end up giving this a read.

And as always, much love to you all,

-C

Blog: Well If It Isn't The Consequences Of My Own Actions...

TW: Transphobic Comments, Anti-LGBTQ Rhetoric, Strong Language

If you aren’t a listener of country music or if you don’t pay attention to news cycles, the events of the last week may have completely missed you. If you’re reading that first line going “yeah, I don’t have a clue what you could be alluding to,” allow me to fill you in. Failed artist & second wife to country singer (a gracious title at best) Jason Aldean, Brittany Aldean, posted something regarding trans/LGBTQ kids & in which she referred to the plight of trans kids & their desire for gender affirmation comparing it to a “tom boy phase” & being “glad he parents didn’t change her gender” when she went through it. To which the conservative side of the country industry all started pilling in on, her husband Jason even going so far as to say “yeah, I don’t think we would have worked out.”

Cassadee Pope called her out on twitter with the following tweet:

Maren Morris then joined in on the rhetoric & tweeted the following:

To which Fox News pundit & overall really atrocious human Candace Owens replied:

The two then went back & forth giving the following exchange:

“Artists” like Aldean & RaeLynn also begin sharing their support for Brittany’s remarks along with the wife of one hit wonder, Chuck Wicks, & Whitney Duncan.

Later country artist, Ryan Hurd, & subsequent husband to Morris also weighed in tweeting the following:

And round & round it went including RaeLynn spending a bachelorette weekend toting a “Daddy T” hat & owning the moniker of ‘Insurrection Barbie,” Aldean & Wicks dropping a fundraiser for victims of child trafficking through the sale of shirts that said “Don’t Tread On Our Kids” of which only part of the proceeds went to the charity in question, & Maren posting a reel of a speech she gave live at a show the evening of the happenings stating the following:

So why bring this all up? Why dedicate an entire blog to this infighting within the country music world? Well, because for once, there were consequences for the actions of those involved.

It’s not hard to guess what side of this argument I fall on. I struggle to find a member of my friend group & chosen family who do not belong to the Alphabet Mafia. I also want to make it clear that I’m not over here trying to be divisive or throw my hat into the ring where this argument is concerned, I want to highlight a point here & in actuality, maybe help bridge the wide ass political gap this country has at the moment.

Yesterday it was announced the GreenLight Publicity Firm, a firm that has worked with Jason for the entirety of his career will be dropping Aldean as a client, due to the harmful narrative that he & his wife helped to perpetuate this week. Now before you start going all “cancel culture this” & “cancel culture that” & “they’re trying to silence us” & “blah, blah, blah” let’s pause & examine shall we?

I have no issue with being politically opposed where issues of state & finance are concerned. I’m fine to sit down & have a conversation with someone who swings right about how we as a country spend our money or the advantages & disadvantages of certain social services, etc, etc. However, where the divide in this country has materialized is not about policy any longer, I will say in this instance the MAGA crowd is correct, it’s about morality only there within the Far Right lives a fallacy built on blame, name calling, & division. We are no longer voting along the lines of policy, we are voting along the lines of morality, & morality & human rights are not up for debate.

I don’t know if you as a reader have ever struggled with being a societal “other;” whether you’re BIPOC, or Queer, or an immigrant, or any combination of the above, it’s hard simply getting by day to day. It is no easy feat for a young individual to come to the conclusion that they are trans or non-binary. It is no easy feat to outwardly choose to expose & express yourself as a member of the “other” knowing full well you may face the ire of those who view themselves “morally opposed” to who you are as a person & human being. There in lies the line we as a society, are fortunately, starting to draw.

Things were bleak in the states for a while during the years of Trump especially for those in the societal minorities. I’m sure if you’re a long time reader of mine you can not the point when I stopped feeling the need to constantly report on the harmful policies being put in place. For those of us who exist on the fringe the last couple years have started to feel more & more hopeful, after four years of dread.

Along with this hope, especially in the last year or so, has come a return in what is becoming more or less socially acceptable & the morality of The US as a country has swung back more in the direction of progress & inclusivity as opposed to scapegoating & fear mongering. With this uptick in “um, that’s not okay” has also come the natural progression of people like Aldean seeing the consequences that hateful, ignorant comments will land you. Have a lot of his fanbase doubled down? Of course, it’s hard to change a mind through a news cycle but it is refreshing to see, especially in country music, someone get chastised for the harmful things they perpetuate & outwardly endorse.

I’ve never identified as a trans individual, I’ve have never felt any inkling that I was born in the wrong body, so I can’t imagine how hard of an identity that is to come to terms with. I’m sure a lot of you reading this fall in that boat as well, but imagine you’ve wrestled with who you are for the entirety of your life & finally have the clarity & peace of mind to express that outwardly. I can’t imagine what an uphill battle it must be just getting through the day to day with the filth people spew at you just for trying to claim your happiness & wholeness. I can’t imagine simply wanting to use a restroom & being assaulted both physically & verbally for it. I can’t imagine posting a picture where you finally see the person you’ve always known you were underneath & having people accost you over the internet. I simply cannot imagine it because it is outside of anything within my field of experience but I empathize with you. I stand with you. I recognize your struggle & am here to be whatever you need me to be.

We as a country, as a world, are sorely lacking empathy. We get so caught up in the “me, me, me’s” that we lose sight of the “us.” I’m glad these ignorant comments & harmful policies are no longer going unchecked. It’s how we build a world that is more inclusive & supportive of everyone, not just those who look, act, sound, & identify like us.

I’m sorry for the late posting on this, the jet lag really did me in this weekend but if you’d like to donate to help trans youth across the country Maren Morris is currently selling shirts where 100% of the proceeds go to the Trans Lifeline & the GLAAD Trans Media Project. I’ll post the link about it below:

As always I hope you’ve had a fantastic weekend, much love to each of you. I challenge you this week to lean into your discomfort, to sit down & hear or read the story of someone whose life is on the societal fringe. Then I challenge you to find that glowing ember of empathy in your heart.

-C

I feel called to finish this off with a quote from the late Billy Block who would always close out his radio segment with “Remember, if you see someone without a smile, give them yours.”

Have a great holiday weekend!