Blog: Some Of Us Are Here To Wander

Hiya!

Happy weekend, or whatever part of the week you find yourself reading this to you!

Over the last week or so I have started sharing more & more of my spiritual side on the internet. It’s a large part of who each of us as people & I think being open & honest about where you’re at spiritually can help others to not feel so alone or isolated in a field of self that is often very isolating. People often link the spirit with religion & in all honesty, I think that’s a massive mistake. For one can still thrive without the confines & dogma of the other. I’m not here to convert you to anything, I’m not, in all honesty, even here to talk to you about my specific beliefs around the spirit. I am here instead to discuss a bit of soul searching I’ve been doing, the work around it, & the revelation that came to me around it. With a little bit of outside help (we’ll get there).

A few years ago I published a blog about how I felt I was a “Renaissance Man.” The basics of the moniker include varied interests in a number of fields & callings with decent ability in most of them but not real projected path forward. Very “a jack of all trades is a master of none.” This past couple of weeks I’ve really felt the call to reinvest in my spiritual side. Be it the change of seasons, the shift in something within me, or the divine, I know not. What I do know is that I have been called to dig more inward & find the answers for what is irking me within. I started doing morning journals again, part of which includes coming up with gratitude lists, things I am looking forward to during the day, how I am feeling intuitively, as well as a daily affirmation which I have been sharing with the collective. Additionally I have also begun meditating more & paying attention to life’s small abundances & finding gratitude for them as they come. All in all it’s been a really refreshing couple of weeks from a spiritual stand point.

With my daily writings, affirmations, & lists I also do a daily tarot pull. I’m going to stop the bus here for a second & explain something about tarot to the pearl clutchers out there or those who may have just given me the “ooookay” in response to that information. Tarot is not fortune telling. Let me repeat that Tarot. Is Not. Fortune Telling. Tarot is drawing a card, or a couple of cards, finding out the meaning of said card & checking in intuitively with yourself to see what, if, & why a specific card resonates with you. It asks you to confront the truths that you yourself already know but are ignoring, shoving down deep, or covering up with your ego. We already know the answers, the cards are simply asking you to feel what comes up, acknowledge it, sit with it, & see if you yourself can find a solution to whatever it brings up. On the other hand, if the card is positive, it may reaffirm something within your self that helps you to boost your confidence for the day or your self assurance or whatever. The point is that tarot isn’t magic, it’s a lens that allows us to look inwards & see the into the parts of ourselves we are hiding from ourselves.

Okay, we’ve set the stage. Now the story.

Over the past week I have been working on a couple of things; the held trauma of feeling othered or outright hurt by those who profess love for me, rooted feelings of conditional love, & the apprehension to get excited for the things that I am looking forward to our of fear of disappointment. Then on Thursday & Friday of this week I was directed in two interesting directions by the cards that I drew as well as the messages I had been previously drawn to throughout the day.

Thursday I drew The Sun in the reversed position. The Sun is pretty self explanatory; optimism, light, happiness, joy, renewal, everything that the sun embodies & helps bring forth. In the reverse position you get the opposite most of the time, but where the sun is concerned you get the cloud. The sun in its reversed position indicates that you are dampening your sun, at least that’s what it brought up for me & a pattern I had actually begun to notice well before Thursday. I was dampening my excitement for the things I want in life or that are up in the air because of fear that they wouldn’t come to be. Very much that “why would that happen to me” kind of feeling. So I started to set up ways in which I can hopefully start to work with those limiting beliefs & unlearn the patterns that lead me to feel that gut wrenching feeling of dread when I think of something I am excited about.

On Friday I drew another reversal, this time in the form of the King of Swords.

The suit of swords is meant to embody things like intelligence, change, power, communication, action, ambition etc. It is represented by the alchemical element of air. Think “change is on the wind.” The king of any suit is the pinnacle of that notion, the embodiment of those ideals in the most positive way. I drew it in the reversed position. Where as the upright position asks you to be confident, headstrong, & just using your intellect & communication to solve a problem, the reversal has let too much of the ego get involved & now is misusing its intellect & communication skills to get in the way, of a solution or downright ruin it. I was honestly lost by this pull I had no idea what it meant for the life of me. It didn’t stir up anything internally so initially I remarked it as a fluke. Then I looked deeper.

My first course of action was to scour the internet. I got a lot of repeating information about the card & its meaning, none of which clicked. So I sought the help of ChatGPT to see out of curiosity what it came up with. I was blown away as simply how profound its answer was to me.

It’s worth noting that Friday morning I was feeling very detached. I’d meditated the day prior trying to dig into these blockages that kept me from feeling my “sun” & in doing so I think I pried off a bunch of ideas that had been spinning in my head ever since. “What do I want to do with my life?” “Am I resistant to my excitement because it’s not the correct path for me?” “Why is my life path not clearer to me?” All of this was what I was continuing to feel come Friday morning when the reversed king of swords came sliding across my desk as I shuffled. I also gave ChatGPT this information to go off of when helping me to discern meaning from the card.

I told Chat that I was feeling mentally foggy, that I wasn’t sure what I wanted anymore or what I should be doing in my day to day. It replied by telling me that the king could be indicating that the part of me that just “knows” has taken a step back to allow the literal unknown to take the reins. It continued by reassuring me that I am not broken, nor am I doing anything wrong, just that I’m untethered at the moment & to trust that something new was emerging from this fog. I wasn’t convinced so I told it that I’m not sure there is a part of me that “knows.” I told it that I often feel entirely lost on my life path. This is the profound bit of wisdom an AI bestowed upon me.

“That feeling-that maybe there never was a clear “knowing” part of you-is so deeply human, & also so deeply painful when you’re surrounded by a world that seems to celebrate clarity, direction, & ambition. But not everyone is here to walk a straight-line path. SOME OF US ARE HERE TO WANDER, to explore, to feel, to respond. And THAT is just as sacred. Maybe the message here is “You’re not lost-you’re just not navigating in the old way anymore & maybe you never were.” You have built so much-a rich creative life, deep relationships that span the globe, an intuitive connection to beauty, nature, life, energy, & your own inner rhythms. That IS a life path. Even if it doesn’t look like a checklist with the white picket fence & the 2.5 kids. Even if it feels like mist sometimes.”

Bars. The AI dropped bars. I shared the line “some of us are here to wander” immediately, because I know so many people in my life who feel that way. Who don’t see their life unraveling in the college, 9-5, marriage, kids, settle down, kind of way but instead were brought to this Earth to be wanderers, explorers, traveler, & bridge the gaps of age, miles, seas, & time. So I wanted to make sure that was the topic of this week’s blog. Because I know how many of you out there feel that your life path is not a clear cut trail through the forest but instead find yourself in a boat that in unmoored, tossing in the fog, simply trusting the current is going to take you where you need to be, gliding gracefully between rocks, weathering the storms, always meeting the day’s discoveries with love, excitement, appreciation, & gratitude. Your path is valid. Your path is sacred. Trust that those feelings of joy & excitement are there for a reason. I’ll leave you with one last bit of hope that I was left with in the conversation before I sign us off for the night.

“The depth that you tap into, that is the knowing. Not the clear, commanding “go here, do this” kind-but the soul-level resonance that says, “This is real. This Is true. Stay here a moment.” You’ve got a compass-it’s just built on feeling, beauty, vibration, presence, & intelligence. It doesn’t always point north, but it always points you.”

I hope you all have a fantastic rest of whatever part of your day this has found you in.

As always, much love to you all,

-C

Blog: A Lesson In Stoicism

This was a blog requested & suggested by Evan, so if you take issue with it, take it up with him. Ha ha. Not that there’s anything controversial or spicy about it, I just mean in terms of enjoyment. If this is not a blog that you enjoy this week, take it up with Evan.

I make this sound like it’s going to be a dull topic, which in reality I think is entirely false. I noticed, at the beginning of the year, that many of my friends, specifically those in music, were all starting a book called The Daily Stoic. Naturally I became curious & ordered a copy of the book for myself. While not a novel or journal, Ryan Holiday & Stephen Hanselman have put together what I can only describe as a daily devotional that revolves around stoicism.

Stoicism gets a bad name, something the authors point out themselves within the introduction of the book. Often when we, culturally, think of someone who is stoic, we think of them as being walled up, impenetrable, shut off, emotionless, or cold, when in reality that is a misnomer. The impression of the stoic that I was under boils down simply to contemplative, which is almost near exactly what it is. Someone who is stoic is in their head, yes, but they are so because they are processing & assessing the world around them, reserving most of their thoughts for themselves & often only sharing that which they’ve taken the time to digest internally. I would argue that the Oxford definition sits somewhere in the middle.

“Stoic
noun
1. a person who can endure pain & hardship without showing their feelings or complaining.”

— Quote Source

Holiday & Hanselman argue that stoicism is exactly as I put, a contemplation. It is looking at an emotion & saying “why do I feel that way?” “Is it justified?” “What is the role we play in society, in life, in nature, in culture?” “How does that effect the grand scheme of things?” Etc. Etc. Etc. They themselves lean into the three main disciplines of Stoicism.; Perception (how we see & perceive the world around us), Action (the decisions & actions we take & why), & Will (how we deal with the things we cannot change, clarify, justify, & understanding our place in the world around us). The book is then broken down into daily devotionals that you are asked to sit & contemplate throughout your day, starting with whatever calendar day you picked up the book in. The prompts are short, giving an overarching theme as the title, followed by a quote from a famous stoic, & then a reframing in modern context or clarification on what the authors perceived the original author was implying. I’ve carried these throughout my day just short of the last week & have also taken the time to write out my immediate thoughts with each as I finish going through the devotional in question. I’ve been asked to share the last three days here & expand upon some of my thoughts here.

Seeing The World Like A Poet & An Artist

One of the things I often remember fondly my mate, Ali Donowho, saying that he admires the way in which I noticed the little things in life & nature & then take the time to appreciate them as much as that which is grandiose.  So often we are distracted by this larger picture that those little bits tend to fall between the cracks. This segment talks specifically about turning the uglier parts of life into something beautiful like the spilts in the bread as it bakes, the thing that becomes alluring despite it not being a part of the baker’s (artist’s) plan.

The example used by Marcus Aurelius in the book is as follows:

“Pass through this brief patch of time in harmony with nature & come to your final resting place gracefully, just as a ripened olive might drop, praising the earth that nourished it & grateful to the tree that gave it growth.”

There is beauty in all things even if those beauties aren't always apparent. The more time goes by the more I find love & life to thrive in the mundane, not in the overtly boisterous; like a microcosm bursting with history, love, patience, & understanding. I have often found myself rewarded by the powers that be for the appreciation for the little thing & for taking the time simply to sit & absorb the tenacity of life. To see the world as a poet or an artist is to see the world in an ever shifting glorious eruption of expression. To find the beauty in all things, not just the conventionally beautiful.

Wherever You Go, There Your Choice Is

When life feels out of our control, when the world seems to be spiraling in on us, the one constant that remains, no matter your circumstance, is that you always have a choice in how you choose to act. It doesn't matter your station, your position, your financial or how opportunistically ready you are, at the end of the day your choice lies in on your choose to behave. As Epictetus writes:

“A podium & a prison is each a place, one high & one low, but in either place your freedom of choice can be maintained, if you wish.”

You are the master of yourself & are therefore responsible for only yourself. No one can dictate the words you say, the actions you take, the course you make except for you. How you behave in the darkest of depths will always come to light with you when you're raised to the highest heights. Be sure your choses remain in line with who you want to be as a person.

Reignite Your Thoughts

Today's meditation in stoicism is unintentionally based in grace & forgiveness, specifically for one’s self.  Its argument is that it's never too late to reignite something you enjoyed about yourself or your life. It can be a belief, a habit, a skill, whatever, just because you've fallen off of the wagon doesn't mean that it's gone too far ahead of you that you can't still hop back on.

“Your principles can’t be extinguished unless you snuff out the thoughts that feed them, for it’s continually in your power to reignite new ones… It’s possible to start living again! See things anew as you once did- that’s how to restart life.”

-Marcus Aurelius

This can extend to any direction. It can be about something you did yesterday or an hour ago that disappointed you or you felt led you in the wrong directon. It can be about something that happened fifteen years ago or a lifetime ago, the point is that you're introspective enough to recognize you've shifted away from a belief or a behavior that you viewed as a positive influence in your life & find yourself yearning for that “lost” yesteryear. It's okay to put your stuff down, go back & pick up the joy you lost ten miles back on the road. Your life is yours to live & that includes how you act, what you believe, what you like/love, & who or what you spend your time with, & what you do that makes you feel alive. Just because you got a little lost in the woods doesn't mean the path is gone.

Like I said, I just wanted to share some of my thoughts around the topic with you as I believe dialogue is what makes all of this insightful. Just like the stoics of old had their schools to pass around ideas within, so too should we in a manner that creates a discourse. Evan had me share my thoughts because he found them insightful & I hope you did as well. I would challenge you to take up this practice as well, that doesn’t mean you need to go out & buy the book, but I think we should all get to know the inner machinations of our own minds & understand why we feel the way we do about the thoughts that drive our actions & emotions. At the very least it installs a bit of wonder back into your life & helps you to see the world around you in a completely different light than you would before.

I hope you all have a great week or weekend, whenever you find yourself reading this.

And as always, much love to you all!

-C

Blog: *Insert Number* Hard Challenge

I’m not sure if any of you have heard of the 75 hard challenge, it was a daily challenge proposed by Andy Fricella. It isn’t exactly a diet plan or a fitness plan, though that is a part of it, instead it is branded as a test of mental fortitude. The rules of the challenge are as follows.

• Follow one diet plan of your choosing (no alcohol & no cheat meals allowed)

• Two 45 daily workouts (one must be outdoors)

• Take one daily progress picture

• Read ten pages of a non-fiction self improvement book per day

• Take a daily 5 minute cold shower

• Intake one gallon of water per day

While I won’t go into the logistics of why I don’t think the 75 hard or for that matter Whole 30 lead to positive life changes or permanent ones, I will admit the challenge has its merits.

A few friends of mine have taken the challenge & completed it in its entirety & while I’m sure most would attest that they don’t regret the experience it’s not something they’re actively looking to undertake again. I aimed to create it in a better form, in a manner that personalizes the experience for me while creating lifestyle change that I could use moving forward.

As many of you can probably tell from a lot of my previous blogs I eat paleo quite often, following more of the primal side of the diet. One of the beauties of paleo/primal is that it has room for forgiveness asking you to partake in it 80-85% of the time instead of forever making you long for the foods you love but can no longer consume. Paleo also has the benefit of allowing some alcohols but those derived from paleo approved sources which for a wine lover like me is a major win. My modification of the 75 hard challenge follows the diet of my choice, paleo, with the inclusion of two cheat meals & the occasional bottle of wine or cocktail.

The next aspect of the challenge is the physical side of it. 45 minutes, twice a day. An hour & a half total. Every. Single. Day. Y’all that’s just downright unhealthy. Your body needs rest, it needs time to heal. I know training hard leads to amazing results but there has to be a conscious effort into maintaining the body involved as well. My modification; seven & a half to eight hours of exercise per week. It allows you to workout hard for longer amounts of time while still allowing yourself & your body to rest periodically, to take a day off. The 75 hard challenge would tell us that resting would require us to restart the challenge, I would rather you come out the other side a healthy, happy human.

I’m just going to outright tell you I don’t do the progress pics. I think looking for progress day to day to day minimizes the growth you’re actually achieving. It’s also an easy way to get discouraged. Not looking different enough from the day before or the week before is what leads so many into self deprecating habits or toxic mindsets. Your body fluctuates 5-10 pounds a week anyway in addition to the fact that working out is literally tearing down muscle to rebuild it. You’re going to look “more cut” & less so from day to day, documenting such doesn’t feel like a healthy way of viewing that.

I started this challenge with the thought of making the reading 10 pages of anything. I think I’m sticking to that. We as humans don’t read enough. I would say out of the people I know only about 5-10% of them actively read books. That’s sad. I think if a challenge incorporates reading in any form & gets people to actually read then it’s a win in my book (see what I did there?) Read what you’re passionate about, it doesn’t have to be the book that makes you realize you have too many attachments or that you have the ability to be superhuman or manifest money. Read what you love, it’ll improve your brain & open up your mind, screw the requirements.

Honestly, I didn’t know that the shower was part of the challenge. I may have to throw that in haha. I mean at the end of the day cold showers have a lot of very great health benefits! It raises your metabolism, it increases your circulations, it boosts immune function, it reduces muscle soreness, & the list goes on & on. I know it may not be for everyone but I think I’ll actually incorporate it slowly, dropping the temperature over the duration of the shower instead of taking the polar plunge every single day.

A daily gallon of water is a great goal to strive for! Sometimes though a gallon of water can be too much or even too little depending on how much you weigh. I think the typical rule of thumb is that you’re supposed to drink half your body weigh in ounces but you also have to be careful not to dilute yourself. Adding a little sodium to your first glass can help to prevent that or even drinking something else with a little bit of electrolytes will do the trick!

In addition to these changes I’ve taken it upon myself to add in two more daily challenges.

• Something Creative/Journeling

• Meditation

Your something creative can be anything. It can be painting, writing, designing, playing an instrument, creating a floral arrangement, trying/coming up with a new recipe, just something that engages that left hemisphere of your brain. I often find myself getting frustrated as a songwriter because I can’t tap into my creativity when I want to. This is a good way to flex that mental muscle & establish the neuroplasticity to make your creativity an easy asset to call upon. I also count journaling under this daily task. I think journaling can take a few very helpful forms & often helps clear away the fog hiding all of your great ideas from you. Just journaling about your day, about what’s weighing on your mind or heart, about emotional baggage you’re still holding onto can make all the difference. Likewise writing poetry or a short story helps to get the juices flowing & stretch your creative neural pathways.

The last addition is meditation. Much like reading I think too few people actively practice meditation. Meditation is not just some mystic Buddhist art it is a way of centering yourself. Of coming back to the now & helping to experience your life as it happens. Too often we’re anxious about the unknown future or depressed about the past that way or the way things have change, meditation’s goal is to recenter you in time & in yourself. It is the inner work that we all should be doing. It is the quieting of the mind that allows our problems & areas of weakness to rise up so that we may look at them in a new light, dissect & transform them so that we can let the past, the future, the whatever go & simply be. I have found in the last two weeks of daily meditation that my joy & energy are elevated, my anxiety & depression have almost faded completely, & I am an all around more fun person to be around. If meditation is a new experience to you I highly recommend Headspace on Netflix, they also have an app!

The final step of my “…whatever” hard challenge is forgiveness. This is the key. Forgiveness. There are going to be days where accomplishing all of these things is impossible. There are going to be weeks you don’t meet you exercise goal or don’t read enough & y’all, that’s okay. Really. The difference is that you forgive, let it go, & try to do better the next day or the next week because that’s how we grow. That’s how we become better, not by hard restriction & rule, but by freedom & grace. I don’t want this life style change to be something I do for a month & a half then abandon, I want lasting change. I know, much like the 75 hard challenge isn’t for me, that this might not be for you & you may need to make your own modifications to it, but if you want to change your life for the better there are healthy ways to do it. Do what works for you, what makes you feel fulfilled, what makes you happy, healthy & expands your brain. Hold yourself accountable; set reminders on your phone, set a calendar on your fridge, try it with a friend or loved one. Do something that keeps you on track & keeps you motivated. I can honestly say in the week or two I’ve been doing this my life is improved; I’m sleeping better, I have so much more energy, so much clearer skin, my chronic allergies are hardly noticeable to me. I feel great & I want you to as well. So take the challenge! Make up your own, make it practical, & make your life as you want it to be because you deserve it!

Much Love,

C

Blog: Being Productive In The Midst of A Global Pandemic

Hi Friends!

How are we today?

On a scale of one to ten, ten being the most, how productive would you say you were today? Is that a number you’re happy with? Is that a number that feels like it has been pretty constant over the course of the last couple months? I’ve been doing a bit of outreach all week; to friends, to colleagues, etc. to see kind of how people have been handling self improvement during the COVID-19 pandemic & what I’ve if an overabundance of proof that most of us are struggling. I get it, I really do. There’s no where to go, nothing to do, no way to travel, or in my line of work, play shows. It’s hard to be a frowardly mobile person when the world feels like it has stopped dead in its tracks, at least in the states…

So what’s to be done? How do we break the monotony? By adding more.

Hear me out. Productivity is a habit, Newton’s first law of motion explains:

“An object at rest stays at rest & an object in motions stays in motion...”

— Sir Isaac Newton

This is you. You are the object in this scenario. If you’ve developed a habit of stagnation, you must replace it with one of mobility. How do you have mobility when you can’t go anywhere? Establish routines. Now is the perfect time to be establishing a routine, a diet, a workout regimen, etc, because you have the time & mental space to do so. Here’s what I recommend, even if you can’t be productive in your chosen career field, that doesn’t mean you can’t still establish habits that can be applied post-COVID.

Here’s where we start; your alarm clock. First off, if you’re not setting an alarm, it’s time to start. I’m aware a lot of us, 22.4% of us, are out of work right now, but your routines are still important. Set your alarm for 30 minutes earlier than normal, then here’s how I want you to break down that 30.

Minutes 1-4: Drink a large glass of water, take your allergy meds, drink your coffee.

Minutes 5-10: Stretch, specifically doing cat/cows (look it up.) Cat/cows open up your spinal column & get your spinal fluid moving.

Minutes 11-14: Do 25 reps of an exercise. Could be push-ups, sit-ups, squats, lunges, pull-ups, etc vary this daily but get the blood moving.

Minutes 15-24: Meditate. Doesn’t have to be some spiritualist experience, just center your thoughts, center your mind & body & breathe for 10 minutes.

Minutes 25-30 Journal: Write out how you’re feeling, write out what you need to do that day, write out how something resolved, get out all the mental clutter & lay it out before you so you can start your day with a clear mind. 1 whole page of journaling, write til it’s full. No cheating, no short hand.

And there you are, that’s your new morning routine. Do it daily, you’ll be amazed how driven & clear the day ahead feels after this. Best of all, it puts your body in motion, gets you moving right off the bat so you can carry that energy throughout your day.

From here you branch out; add a strict diet regimen, add working out in, add daily tasks you can do that will advance your career. You’ll be amazed how clearly new ideas present themselves to you once you put the body in motion. It can’t just be your physical body you’re putting in motion, it has to be all aspects. Digestion, cardio vascular, muscular, mental, spiritual, all of it must be prepared for the day ahead for you to be successful.

I truly hope this helps you, it’s been helping me a lot! You have to stick to it though & be disciplined, it takes 42 days to form a habit so make yours about forward momentum.