Blog: I Guess I Need To Learn To Shut My Damn Mouth

I am someone who is often outwardly opposed to the cold. I have stated many times in person & probably on this blog as well that I would be fine going the remainder of my life without seeing another “winter.” Sometimes that sentiment also takes the shape of “going the rest of my life without seeing snow” but it feels like a similar concept either way. I live in the upper end of the American South, & while winters are slightly less harsh here than they were growing up in Kansas where there is nothing to block the wind sweeping from The Rockies across the plains, we still get our share of winter weather, especially with the recent surge of Arctic blasts that climate change has seen fit to give us annually. Part of the one-sided contract that I have with mother nature is that “if it’s going to be cold, there might as well be snow.” Well, I guess this week I got my wish & I fear I may have second feelings about the contract I, undoubtable, am responsible for securing us all in.

It snowed eight inches here in Nashville this week, an amount that I have not seen annually since I moved to Nashville in 2010. In fact, upon a minor bit of googling, I have discovered the annual average snowfall for Nashville typically sits around 4.7 inches, so we basically doubled that in one sitting.

Now, since Nashville typically is a snowless place, we lack the infrastructure required for maintaining our roads & clearing them effectively during our winter storms. Add to that the fact that my HOA, a mindless bureaucracy that oversees the neighborhood I live is, has seen fit to not contract a plow company simply because there is typically not a need for it, & you get me being mostly sequester to my home on the outskirts of Nashville for the last week. I am, for all intents & purposes, sick of the snow.

Was it fun & cheeky at the beginning? Yeah, sure. Did I enjoy a day or two of making soups & trying to make my furnace get my house above 65º? Sure. But I am over it & I feel like that is the sentiment for most of the people on my social feeds dealing with the same cabin fever from the storm, even those that I know live in walkable parts of town. I am humbling regretting the statement “well if it’s going to be cold, it might as well snow.”

So what’s my solution? What’s my ideal outcome? Well my ideal outcome is that all the snow melts today & the temperature returns to an area at the very least above the freezing line. What is the point of this blog? I guess in some way it’s me apologizing to you all if this is something that I, & I alone, manifested. I was unaware my skills of conjuring were so powerful. I shall do my best to be better next time & understand the consequences for the simple words I say out loud.

If you too are stuck in this frozen hellscape, wishing desperately for a beach & 80º weather, take solace in the fact that you are not alone in that desire. In the interim make all of the soups, take all of the baths or hot showers, pull out all the blankets, embrace the hibernation that we as a species are supposed to participate in, but somehow feel we are above even though every other bit of nature observes it.

Stay warm in there!

As always, much love,

-C

Blog: Charlie Rogers, Renaissance Man.

I don’t remember in which grade we discussed the renaissance in history class. I’m not even entirely sure whether or not I was in middle or high school. While I’m pretty sure it was the latter, I remember immediately becoming obsessed with the idea of being “a renaissance man.”

This is a term that I heard pop up recently, though I can’t for the life of me recall where. I remember someone saying they always strove towards being a renaissance man themselves & it immediately struck a chord of commonality in me. So what exactly is a renaissance man?

According to the Oxford dictionary a renaissance man is:

“a person of many talents or areas of knowledge.”

— Oxford Dictionary, Renaissance Man

Some famous examples of which include the likes of Leonardo DiVinci, Niccolo Machiavelli, Galileo Galilei, & Nicolaus Copernicus, all who excelled in multiple fields of study. The moniker of “renaissance man” is not limited to men though, nor is it limited to the time of the renaissance, with there being quite a few “renaissance women” throughout history as well as “renaissance people,” if we are being all inclusive. Nor was the idea specific to the time, though I feel it is the most prominent within culture at large. Before the renaissance individual there was the Greek concept of a polymath, having learned many things. This list includes individuals throughout early history such as Archimedes, Hypatia, Ptolemy, Imhotep, Pythagoras, Aristotle, Zhang Heng, Al-Kindi, Shen Kuo, & Averroës. Farther into history we get Ben Franklin, Marie Curie, Nikola Tesla, Thomas Jefferson, Issac Newton, etc. etc. etc. Catching on to the concept yet?

So why did this become a small obsession of mine? What was it about the renaissance polymaths that made me say “ooo, that!” Well, I’ve always wanted to be a jack-of-all trade, eliminating the “master of none” part of the saying. I never wanted to be someone who was exclusively known for one thing & that’s why finding a Capital C “Career” has been difficult for me. I never JUST wanted to be known as a singer or a songwriter, I wanted to be known as the multidimensional human that I am. That’s part of why I started writing these blogs, because I felt I had more to offer the world than just the songs I sang & the performances I gave. Can we chalk it up to ADHD & chasing the dopamine a little bit? Of course. But I highly doubt any of you out there ever lived your life wanting to be one note.

So where does that place me? Well, for starters it makes it very hard for me to play the long game in the Capital C Career world. All I’ve ever wanted is to have as many plates spinning in the air as possible & to make those plates as relatively self sufficient as possible so that I can return to them with my fancy. My brain stretches me in so many different directions that the clear path forward for any given career seems impossible to me. Let’s talk about just right now shall we? Where am I at right this minute.

Well, Charlie Rogers right now is a blogger, as I sit at this computer I am a blogger. Not just am I a blogger, I am a travel blogger, a food critic, an advice columnist, a humanitarian, a recipe creator, a motivational speaker, an encourager, & a pundit. That’s just within the digital walls of this section of my website. Swipe one page up & I am an artist, a musician, a songwriter. Click on my socials & I am an influencer, a bumbling comedian, an adventurer. Search me on YouTube & I am an actor, a singer. Meet me in person & I am a scholar, wildly spiritual, peacefully grounded, a zoologist, a marine biologist, a botanist, a foodie, a connoisseur, a collector, a chef, a mixologist, an explorer, a lover, a brother, a son, & a friend. Look inside my mind & you’ll find a stoic, a wanderer, an inventor, a well of ideas, a catalyst, an empath (even though I hate that word & it’s connotations), a free spirit. How do you sum all of that up at all times? How do you “market” all of that at once?

I think in a lot of ways we all fit the renaissance man mold, it’s just that some of us, like myself, wish to act upon it. I wish to be known for all of my aspects, not just the one or two that I can focus on at a time. I want to be the touring singer-songwriter, I want to be the inventor, I want to be the philanthropist, I want to be the actor, to be the influencer, to be the traveler, the humanitarian, to be the food critic, the revolutionary, & the jack-of-all trades, but I often find myself lost in the constant tug of war these concepts give biding for my time & my mental space.

For now I’ll just claim the moniker. Here I am, Charlie Rogers, Renaissance Man, what I shall be in the future has yet to be written, but I can’t wait to see where I end up!

Here’s wishing you all a fantastic week or weekend, whenever this blog has found you.

As always, much love to you all!

-C

Blog: A Lesson In Stoicism

This was a blog requested & suggested by Evan, so if you take issue with it, take it up with him. Ha ha. Not that there’s anything controversial or spicy about it, I just mean in terms of enjoyment. If this is not a blog that you enjoy this week, take it up with Evan.

I make this sound like it’s going to be a dull topic, which in reality I think is entirely false. I noticed, at the beginning of the year, that many of my friends, specifically those in music, were all starting a book called The Daily Stoic. Naturally I became curious & ordered a copy of the book for myself. While not a novel or journal, Ryan Holiday & Stephen Hanselman have put together what I can only describe as a daily devotional that revolves around stoicism.

Stoicism gets a bad name, something the authors point out themselves within the introduction of the book. Often when we, culturally, think of someone who is stoic, we think of them as being walled up, impenetrable, shut off, emotionless, or cold, when in reality that is a misnomer. The impression of the stoic that I was under boils down simply to contemplative, which is almost near exactly what it is. Someone who is stoic is in their head, yes, but they are so because they are processing & assessing the world around them, reserving most of their thoughts for themselves & often only sharing that which they’ve taken the time to digest internally. I would argue that the Oxford definition sits somewhere in the middle.

“Stoic
noun
1. a person who can endure pain & hardship without showing their feelings or complaining.”

— Quote Source

Holiday & Hanselman argue that stoicism is exactly as I put, a contemplation. It is looking at an emotion & saying “why do I feel that way?” “Is it justified?” “What is the role we play in society, in life, in nature, in culture?” “How does that effect the grand scheme of things?” Etc. Etc. Etc. They themselves lean into the three main disciplines of Stoicism.; Perception (how we see & perceive the world around us), Action (the decisions & actions we take & why), & Will (how we deal with the things we cannot change, clarify, justify, & understanding our place in the world around us). The book is then broken down into daily devotionals that you are asked to sit & contemplate throughout your day, starting with whatever calendar day you picked up the book in. The prompts are short, giving an overarching theme as the title, followed by a quote from a famous stoic, & then a reframing in modern context or clarification on what the authors perceived the original author was implying. I’ve carried these throughout my day just short of the last week & have also taken the time to write out my immediate thoughts with each as I finish going through the devotional in question. I’ve been asked to share the last three days here & expand upon some of my thoughts here.

Seeing The World Like A Poet & An Artist

One of the things I often remember fondly my mate, Ali Donowho, saying that he admires the way in which I noticed the little things in life & nature & then take the time to appreciate them as much as that which is grandiose.  So often we are distracted by this larger picture that those little bits tend to fall between the cracks. This segment talks specifically about turning the uglier parts of life into something beautiful like the spilts in the bread as it bakes, the thing that becomes alluring despite it not being a part of the baker’s (artist’s) plan.

The example used by Marcus Aurelius in the book is as follows:

“Pass through this brief patch of time in harmony with nature & come to your final resting place gracefully, just as a ripened olive might drop, praising the earth that nourished it & grateful to the tree that gave it growth.”

There is beauty in all things even if those beauties aren't always apparent. The more time goes by the more I find love & life to thrive in the mundane, not in the overtly boisterous; like a microcosm bursting with history, love, patience, & understanding. I have often found myself rewarded by the powers that be for the appreciation for the little thing & for taking the time simply to sit & absorb the tenacity of life. To see the world as a poet or an artist is to see the world in an ever shifting glorious eruption of expression. To find the beauty in all things, not just the conventionally beautiful.

Wherever You Go, There Your Choice Is

When life feels out of our control, when the world seems to be spiraling in on us, the one constant that remains, no matter your circumstance, is that you always have a choice in how you choose to act. It doesn't matter your station, your position, your financial or how opportunistically ready you are, at the end of the day your choice lies in on your choose to behave. As Epictetus writes:

“A podium & a prison is each a place, one high & one low, but in either place your freedom of choice can be maintained, if you wish.”

You are the master of yourself & are therefore responsible for only yourself. No one can dictate the words you say, the actions you take, the course you make except for you. How you behave in the darkest of depths will always come to light with you when you're raised to the highest heights. Be sure your choses remain in line with who you want to be as a person.

Reignite Your Thoughts

Today's meditation in stoicism is unintentionally based in grace & forgiveness, specifically for one’s self.  Its argument is that it's never too late to reignite something you enjoyed about yourself or your life. It can be a belief, a habit, a skill, whatever, just because you've fallen off of the wagon doesn't mean that it's gone too far ahead of you that you can't still hop back on.

“Your principles can’t be extinguished unless you snuff out the thoughts that feed them, for it’s continually in your power to reignite new ones… It’s possible to start living again! See things anew as you once did- that’s how to restart life.”

-Marcus Aurelius

This can extend to any direction. It can be about something you did yesterday or an hour ago that disappointed you or you felt led you in the wrong directon. It can be about something that happened fifteen years ago or a lifetime ago, the point is that you're introspective enough to recognize you've shifted away from a belief or a behavior that you viewed as a positive influence in your life & find yourself yearning for that “lost” yesteryear. It's okay to put your stuff down, go back & pick up the joy you lost ten miles back on the road. Your life is yours to live & that includes how you act, what you believe, what you like/love, & who or what you spend your time with, & what you do that makes you feel alive. Just because you got a little lost in the woods doesn't mean the path is gone.

Like I said, I just wanted to share some of my thoughts around the topic with you as I believe dialogue is what makes all of this insightful. Just like the stoics of old had their schools to pass around ideas within, so too should we in a manner that creates a discourse. Evan had me share my thoughts because he found them insightful & I hope you did as well. I would challenge you to take up this practice as well, that doesn’t mean you need to go out & buy the book, but I think we should all get to know the inner machinations of our own minds & understand why we feel the way we do about the thoughts that drive our actions & emotions. At the very least it installs a bit of wonder back into your life & helps you to see the world around you in a completely different light than you would before.

I hope you all have a great week or weekend, whenever you find yourself reading this.

And as always, much love to you all!

-C

Blog: Little Abundances

If you’re a follower of mine on my Instagram, today’s blog posting will not be entirely foreign to you. I posted the tiniest anecdote around the roots of this story on my story posts a few days ago & got incredible feedback simply regarding the short paragraph that I had written. So, naturally I though that I should expand upon it in this longer form setting.

Towards the turn of the year I had a TikTok creator, of whom I should give credit for this idea if their name hadn’t been alluding me for the last few weeks, come across my daily doom scroll. She works specifically in a spiritualist setting but has had a lot of clients talk about their manifestations & how they have trouble believing that the things they want are coming their way when they live in a state of lack. She went on to explain that it, to her, an impossibility to manifest from a mindset of lack & offered a quick tip on how to escape that cumbersome feeling. Her method was altogether simple & has, over the last week & some change, become a staple in my day to day thought process.

Her suggestion for escaping scarcity mindsets was incremental. She said that every day, at the end of her day, she writes down three things that happened that were little abundances. This teaches the brain to look out for things to be thankful for & recognize that even when things don’t seem to be going your way, there are always little things to latch onto that will shine even the slightest bit of light on darker situations. So what are little abundances? What does that look like in the mundane day to day?

A little abundance is simply something that went your way in the tiniest of ways, let’s come up with some examples shall we?

Maybe there was a 10% discount on something you needed from the grocer.

Maybe your fragrance of choice or someone else’s hit the olfactory just right & made you smile.

Maybe you woke up without feeling achy or sore.

Maybe you wore an outfit that made you feel alluring or sexy.

Maybe you made it through the day with less anxiety or depression than the day prior.

Maybe you came across a post that made you think of an old friend or helped you to learn something interesting you hadn’t known before.

Maybe you simply enjoyed being in someone’s presence.

Maybe the perfect stone caught your eye as you were walking & you gained a new pocket companion.

Maybe your pet showed you affection & love.

Maybe someone in your family or friend group did.

Maybe that last quarter mile of your run felt a little easier than normal.

Maybe you found time to read a book or watch a show or movie that makes you feel something.

Maybe you had a good hair day.

Maybe you noticed a new grey hair (again is a gift after all).

Maybe you felt a sense of wanderlust walking through nature.

Maybe you got in your car & it was the perfect temperature or the perfect song was playing.

Maybe all of the machines or weights at the gym were open when you needed them.

Maybe you enjoyed a cup of your favorite tea or coffee.

Maybe an animal graced you with its presence outside.

Maybe you found a $20 note in your coat pocket.

Maybe you finally beat that level in that game you’ve been playing.

Maybe you brightened someone else’s day.

Is this starting to make sense to you? There is no limit to how “small” these little abundances can be. The point is to start recognizing them as God, The Universe, Nature, whatever you believe in sets them in your path, accepting them, & being grateful for their enrichment of your life. You cannot expect to embrace & love the unknown that is life if you aren’t willing to, as the saying goes, stop & smell the roses.

Now my method of this looks a little different. I knew that if it came down to be writing out my little abundances list every night I wouldn’t do it, I’d forget to or view it as a chore. So my list is mental & isn’t restricted to the time in which I lay my head to rest at night, nor is it limited to three items.

I count my abundances as the day rolls on, why this works for me, I don’t know. How it ends up not being forgotten, again, don’t know, but thus far, every day throughout my day, I am reminded from something within to find my little abundances that I’ve experienced thus far & look on them with love, gratitude, & admiration. On my list today: I had a package arrive that I wasn’t expecting until next week, I woke up several times in the night to Max, on of our cats, snuggled into me purring loudly, I had enough time to complete all of the tasks I needed to get done today, I had a humorous dream last night, my dogs listened when they got in a tiff while playing & I didn’t have to break up a fight, I had ample leftovers in my fridge & didn’t have to cook in a day where my time was scarce, I was notified of a refill order for one of my scripts that now I don’t have to call my doctor to get filled, I lit & dispelled some Palo Santo, one of my favorite, most comforting scents, I noticed a few of my plants have new leaves despite it being winter & not a time for usual growth, I woke up today but did so feeling energized, well, & taken care of, my Irish Breakfast Tea that I’m sipping while writing this is brewed perfectly, I got a good picture of Harvey, my rapidly aging Golden, of whom I don’t know how many more pictures I’ll have the privilege of taking.

Your life is rich my dear readers, you just have to look for it. That’s not discounting your problems, your ailments, your struggles, but the beauty in life is found in the little things, in the little abundances that show us that somewhere out there something, someone, is on our side & that this beautifully tragic, lonely, simply complex life is worth living day by day.

I’d love if you all would adopt this philosophy as well or at the very least give the abundance lists a try. Do it in your own way, make it your own, however that looks. Talk about it openly & honestly, let people in to celebrate with you your tiny victories.

I hope this post hasn’t been too flowery for some of you, I know we’re all on different levels of our life journey & have different degrees of happiness, privilege, health, & prosperity. Just know this comes from a place of love & gratitude for all of you who take the time to read my thoughts each week. You all make my little abundances list every week!

As always, much love to you all,

-C

Blog: Grace?! She Passed Away Thirty Years Ago.

For someone who doesn't believe in New Year’s Resolutions I sure am writing an awful lot of blogs about them, this being my third I think. When I sat down today to try & figure out what I wanted to write about I kept coming back to the idea of “grace.” I have made my own set of adjustments going into the new year in an attempt to get ‘back on the horse’ & have already, six days in, found myself falling short. Resolutions aside, I think we are often too hard on our short comings & falterings & I believe that a little self inflicted grace would do us all a great bit of good. I know for some of you out there the idea of grace has religious connotation or even triggers a religious trauma response but I hope by the end of this I can help to shed new light on the idea of grace & being gracious.

Let’s start out with a definition shall we? According to Merriam-Webster grace takes many linguistic forms. The one I’ve already addressed is:

“1: a: unmerited divine assistance given to humans for their regeneration or sanctification
b: a virtue coming from God
c: a state of sanctification enjoyed through divine assistance”

— Webster's Dictionary

And I can already feel those of you on the other end of the internet recoiling from the fear of having that definition & need for repentance nailed into your head. Let’s explore further shall we? Let’s look at the next set of definitions from M-WD.

“2: a: approval, favor
b: mercy, pardon
c: a special favor, privilege
d: disposition to or an act or instance of kindness, courtesy, or clemency
e: a temporary exemption: reprieve”

— The Dictionary

It’s interesting to me that the five of these definitions fall within the same subset of definitions. In what way is a favor akin to mercy? How is an act of clemency the same as a privilege?

Much as the various religious texts would indicate grace is not something afforded to all but that exists at the same time in abundance, available to those who seek it out. Whether you seek an act of grace, of mercy, from that which you deem almighty, a ruler, a supervisor, a friend, a family member, or what have you, it is not something guaranteed or afforded without the permission & intent of the party to whom you are at the mercy of. It is a privilege to be reprieved of your guilt, shame, penance, or punishment.

So how does this tie into ourselves? How do we exercise grace when the judge of our falterings is the same person as the one requiring forgiveness? How do we set aside the shame, the guilt, the should’ve, could’ve, would’ves, of it all & release the anguish we feel? How do we afford ourselves grace? Well, I think to answer that question we have to briefly shift our focus to shame. For this I’m going to turn to Brené Brown.

In Atlas Of The Heart Brown defines shame as the following:

“Shame is the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing that we are flawed & therefore unworthy of love, belonging, & connection.”

— Atlas Of The Heart By Brené Brown, Page 137.

According to Brown shame thrives on several things, one of the primary being judgement. What dispels shame? Empathy. Self-Compassion. These allow us to look at our perfectly imperfect selves & see the humanity that lives within us. It blows perfectionism, another type of shaming, out of the way & makes way for grace. It gives us the leeway to learn from our mistakes & grow instead of festering & derailing.

“Grace means that all of your mistakes now serve a purpose instead of serving shame.”

— Brené Brown

I’m trying to get back on the wagon after the holiday. After eating poorly, not exercising my mind, body, spirit enough, not flexing my creativity enough, & definitely not drinking enough water, I decided to push myself for twelve weeks of evening out the playing field. Will I fall off as I’ve done already? Of course! Does that mean I should give up now & return to a place of discomfort & unhappiness? Absolutely not. We are human, at the end of the day, at the end of your diet, your abandoned workout equipment or stacks of books that have gone unread, we are human. Perfection is an unattainable goal that striving for will ultimately leave you feeling empty & unfulfilled. Having the grace to recognize your humanity, dust yourself off, & try again will be your saving grace & the thing that makes your spirit soar.

I want to leave you with one last anecdote this evening before I sign off & let you all get back to giving yourself grace in your day to day life.

I was recently told of a practice that many of the Native American tribes of the southwest observe. It specifically revolves around art & the pursuit of the perfect. Anytime a native artist from one of these tribes goes to finish a piece they’ve been working on; be it a knit, an item of jewelry, a painting, etc. they intentionally leave a flaw. Why? Well, two reasons. The first reason is that it allows the trapped bits of the artist’s soul that they’ve poured into their art to have a place to escape from. The second reason is that it allows a reprieve, a grace, from perfectionism & the never ending quest for that which is unreachable for us. It find this sentiment beautiful. It adds levity, humanity, & yes, grace, into a piece of art & allows the artist to free themselves from the shackles of shame.

I hope, thus far, you’re having an awesome new year. I wish you all the greatest one imaginable going forward. I want to challenge you to find little moments of grace in your day to day, not just for yourself, but for others as well. These little moments will eventually snowball into medium moments which then become larger moments & I’d be intrigued to see where that snowball leads you.

As always, much love to you all!

-C

Object Writing: Chapel

Time & time again I've passed it; its old weathered doors, its crumbling steps, & its stained glass remnants of a faith long since supplanted from its grounds. The muffled scuff of my worn work boots click-clack along the well trod cobblestones that lie in its ominous shadow, stopping just for a second to take in its former majesty. The wind carries with it the spirits of the forgotten as it whips through the exposed rafters & returns to bear its divinity as it softly caresses my skin & lovingly lifts the straggling hairs from my brow. Tranquility. It's a rush of warmth from deep within that spreads capriciously throughout my limbs. It is memory, the recollection of time long gone & people long since passed. It is the warm hearth unto which I hang the foundations of my being, the essence of my inspiration. But with the expiration of this town so too has its chapel diminished. Short of ruin, these mildewed & rotting halls once bore witness to all the goings on we as a community shared. This sanctified ground once saw fit to host unions, separations, celebrations, & seasons of mourning. It now plays host to not but the few pigeons that call it home & the ghosts & echos of the kinship of a bygone age.

@charlierogersmusic

Object Writing: Chapel

♬ UNDERWATER WONDERSCAPES (MASTER) - Frederic Bernard

Blog: Understanding You Value

Hi Friends,

Happy Friday!…if that’s when you’re reading this, if not, Happy Whatever Day It Is For You!

I’m currently a part of a twelve week accelerator that brought up something very interesting I felt would fit immaculately as this week’s blog entry. This prompt was given to us in the form of a question. That question we were asked was to identify the three world that describe you, or as my friend Leena put it, the three reasons that you’re the person people pick up the phone to call when they’re needing X,Y, & Z in their life. What draws people to you?

I’m sure many of you saw that I posted the question on my socials to get feedback from those of you that follow me or know me because, after all, you/they know exactly what it is you/they get from me. I got a lot of really interesting responses & so many of you said so many things that warmed my heart to the core but at the end of it all, I had to narrow the list down to three.

I started by bunching any “like minded” words together to see if I could find a commonality between them or a culminating theme. Here’s what I came up with.

My three words are:

Serene, Considerate, & Curious

The beauty of these three words is that they’re tentative, constantly subject to change because, as we change & evolve, so too must our three words.

The point of this exercise allows you to begin to understand your value, to understand the things that you bring to the table as a human being that make others seek you out or that enrich someone else’s life.

I chose serene because many people say I have a calming presence about me, that I make them feel safe &/or secure. I am often seen as gentle or down to earth. The energy I give off is grounding & comfortable, it allows people to let their guard down & be 100% who they are, unapologetically.

I chose considerate because the word that popped up the most for me, from you all, was kind. I was also gifted words like sensitive, caring, loyal, thoughtful, & present. All of which I felt were summed up well in “considerate,” because at the end of the day what is kindness if not consideration for the feelings, emotions, needs, etc. of someone else on a human level?

My final word, to be honest, is still a bit of a work in progress. In all actuality my original work was “communicative” because I got words like strong, brave, leader, communicator; so I felt that enveloped those things, but the more I sat with it the less it felt right. I recently changed to “curious” because I am a lover of culture, a lover of art, I crave new & exciting foods, drinks, etc., I love travel & discovery, I love reading & learning new things. I love to have my mind blown. I like to try to be ahead of the curve & pushing the limits. New science excites me & new cultures invigorate me. I love sharing these experiences as well as I’m sure many of my friends & the many blogs I’ve written will tell you! Truly curiosity often gets the best of me in the best possible way.

Enough about me though, yeah? Let’s go further down this value rabbit hole.

What Is Your Value?

Each of us has many things that make us valuable, but what is specific to you? No one is valueless, so I’m going to go ahead & shut that down for a lot of you reading this right now, no one. Your value is what gives you an edge in life, it’s the aspects of yourself that make you interesting, that call the world to you, that make you feel alive, & make you feel important.

I’m genuinely curious, there’s that word again, to see what some of you think your specific value is so if it’s not too much & you’d like to drop what you think your three words are in the comments of this post or on whichever social you found this in I’d be delighted to know!

So often we are taught to diminish ourselves, to not be boisterous or to shrink away from the spotlight but I think that taught behavior can be harmful, especially where self esteem & confidence are concerned. I’m sure that a lot of you were raised, as I was, to embrace humility & to always be humble & I’m not at all saying those are bad traits, but we are often pushed too far into those traits to the point where it becomes damaging to our self image. In all honesty, I think a lot of the shrinking of self neuters us. We begin to feel worthless, like our little victories aren’t worth celebrating or even that the big victories aren’t worth celebrating because to do so would be seen as too bold & brazen. Our over abundance of humility is minimizing us & creating unhealthy beliefs around who we are, what we can accomplish, & what we are worth.

I, myself, was always taught “pride cometh before the fall” & I don’t entirely disagree; foolhardy & an overabundance of pride can absolutely be blinding & very much a turn off to the majority of people, but a little pride is totally healthy. We always crave the pride of others but never allow it for ourselves. We love to hear those close to us tell us how proud they are of us, but don’t reserve any of that emotion for ourselves. Be proud of who you are, be proud of the road that brought you here today because the person who climbed the mountain is worth being proud of. You’ve overcome your struggles, you’ve overcome your pain, & even if you’ve faltered be proud of your defeats & learn from them so that next time you can be proud of your victories.

We are luminous beings, all of us. So please, let the light of what makes you so incredibly special shine unabashedly bright!

As always, much love to you all,

Please let me know what your three words are!

-C

Blog: Seeking Movement

This blog was actually a suggestion of a fan & friend of mine who reached out earlier this week to ask my thoughts on Brené Brown. Truthfully, I’m not as familiar with her work as I probably should be or would like to be but that’s not to say she hasn’t drifted in & out of my orbit from time to time. The ask was if I had read Brown’s new book “Atlas Of The Heart.” Truthfully I have not, but, his point is the ask was that I, over the holidays, had written a blog outlining the reasons why sad holiday music is the preferred holiday music for so many of us. You can read that one here. In said blog, aside from outlining the reasons behind the sadness felt during the holidays I also talked briefly about wanting to feel something, to feel connected or seen through these musical pieces. He had just come across the section of Brown’s book in which she talks about grief, he sent me a few screen shots to read & I immediately felt seen by what Brené had to say.

My first adult introduction to Brené happened due to my friend Leena who put together a writing camp. In this camp she used Brené’s example of empathy vs sympathy & how that relates to the cowriting space, I later wrote an entire blog on that which you can read here. I was also advised to give her book “The Gifts Of Imperfection” a read which unfortunately I still have yet to begin. From there it seemed that Brené Brown was popping up all over my life or at least the lens of it. Jake went on Brown’s podcast, I wrote the blog & had a bunch of people talking about Brown directly to me, I had several other people suggest “Gifts” to me, I had people posting her quotes all over my feed. It truly began to felt like a sign that maybe her thoughts were worth investing in further!

The screen shot in question that I mentioned in the first paragraph talks about the reason we as consumers love sad movies. In the section Brown takes about how a researcher by the name of Julian Hanich & his colleagues were investigating something they called the “Sad-FIlm Paradox.” The questions the researchers proposed was "how can a negative emotion such as sadness go together with “aesthetic liking” & even pleasure? Their findings? People like to be moved.

The beauty in the sad films, sad songs, sad books, etc. is that “we feel connected to what it means to be human, to be reminded of our inextricable connection to one another,” Brené explains. It shifts the mindset of the individual into one of “us.” From “me” to “we.” The study further revealed that there is a “highly significant positive correlation between sadness & enjoyment." This process of feeling sad or lonely or want makes us feel moved which then turns into enjoyment. “Hence sadness primarily functions as a contributor to & intensifier of the emotional state of being moved.” -Brené Brown, Atlas Of The Heart

This really stuck a chord with me! You see, if the above is to be believed, we as humans consume art to feel something, to feel connected to the community around us. We, in a manor of speaking, go out to concerts, to movies, to art shows, to the library & bookstores, to our streaming services seeking movement. We desire a shift from one emotion to another in a form of escapism from the mundane. There’s a quote from Stage Coach, Tom Jackson, in which he says exactly this, “audiences go to shows to feel something or else they’d stay at home & listen to the record from their couch.”

I truly think that’s beautiful, that the reason we as human beings consumer art, specifically sad art, is out of a desire for connection, for understanding. As a lover of all things sad media wise there’s something incredibly therapeutic about the experience of being moved. I am a self proclaimed cinephile, I love movies, deeply. I go to the theater seeking movement, seeking joy & tears & pain & wonder as I’m sure many of you reading this do as well, there’s no shame in it. It also allows us to flex our “empathy” muscle which I think we all could use from time to time.

At the end of the day love the art you love, you don’t have to justify it to anyone, there’s a reason it clicks with you & most likely it’s because it makes you feel seen or connected. It has succeeded in providing the movement you sought out. Relish that, feel the way it makes you feel & be grateful for that experience! Great art is hard to come by so love what you love & do so boldly!

As always, have a fantastic weekend!

Much love to you all,

C

Blog: Just Your Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Fan!

I started writing this blog the week that Spider-Man: No Way Home came out. At the point of this blog’s inception I had already seen the film two nights before, at this point I have seen it another time! If the title of this blog or that first sentences weren’t dead enough give aways, yes we will be talking about Spider-Man & all things the love of in this blog!

NO, I WILL NOT BE SPOILING SPIDER-MAN: NO WAY HOME FOR YOU EVEN THOUGH IT’S BEEN OUT FOR ALMOST A MONTH & YOU DEFINITELY SHOULD HAVE SEEN IT BY NOW!!!!!

Instead of talking directly about NWH, this is intended as a bit of an open letter to whomever regarding a character that I love so dearly & that I identify with so intimately.

I remember vividly going to see the original Spider-Man in theaters. I was newly 10 years old at the time & we were in Eugene, Oregon. I remember it being a rainy day, I remember us eating somewhere across the street from the theater, & I remember the lasting impression the film had on me as an adolescent. I had been a Spider-Man fan prior to the release of the original Sam Raimi film but this is what truly turned it from something that piqued my interest to a bit of an obsession.

Spider-Man is my guy, he’s my dude, just as I’m sure he is for so many of you. He’s not the statuesque boy scout that Cap usually is or the brooding genius of Bruce Wayne (I know, DC, just thinking of people’s favorite superheros), Peter Parker is simply a kid trying to have a normal life while balancing a truly amazing gift that he was miraculously given.

Peter, despite his quips & quirks, often presents as a soft-spoken, mild mannered guy with a genius level intellect, an often socially awkward nature, &, dare I say, an impeccable moral compass thanks to the guidance of people like Aunt May & Uncle Ben. It’s safe to say, all considered, that the story of Peter Parker is seldom a happy one. In spite of the loving, happy go lucky, positive person that he often is, his life is riddled with tragedy after tragedy.

You see much like Captain America, Spider-Man is the type to make the sacrifice play, to lay down his life & livelihood for anyone, truly anyone. However, I feel unlike Cap, that Peter lives further in the realm of obscurity within the Marvel universe at large. Where as Caps actions are often unintentionally grandiose & allow him to receive even the slightest bit of recognition, Peter is often left to make the more subtle sacrifice calls that come at great personal cost to himself. Pete doesn’t often get the happy ending but he willingly sacrifices it time & time again without hesitation.

I think that is the beauty of Spider-Man as a hero, he is truly a super hero. I’m going to pull in an example from Marvel’s Spider-Man on PS4/5 because I think this illustrates my point very well so if you haven’t played this in the two years that it has been out & are planning to, skip this paragraph because there will be spoilers from that. Still here? Okay, let’s go. In the Playstation game, at the very end, New York has been overtaken by a deadly poison unleashed by Mr. Negative. Peter ends up with one vial of the antidote that he can use to replicate. However, before he can replicate it he finds out that his Aunt May is on her death bed from the poison. He is faced with the choice of save the person closest to him or save New York. Of course he chooses the latter & Aunt May dies.

These are the stakes Peter is constantly faced with. The world or himself. He never chooses himself.

For those of you who have seen No Way Home you know exactly what I’m talking about here, specifically where the ending is concerned & with the ramifications of the choice he’s made.

For all intents & purposes, Peter is a fantastic moral role model. He is an incredible symbol for us in society to try to live up to. He is the definition of self-less & the things he constantly has to sacrifice are heart wrenching. The selflessness even extends to the villains he fights & to those who have caused him harm while outside of their own sanity.

You see, to me, Pete is someone to aspire to. I truly feel he, as a character, makes us societally better. He is a pop culture icon that gives people hope & shows us how to be better human beings to those around us. I grew up loving Peter because of that. Despite this immense power he has it never goes to his head or corrupts him. Peter makes me want to be more selfless, more intellectual, more kind, more quirky, he truly shines, by himself, as beacon of light in the darkness around him, something I think we could all use a bit more of.

“I believe there’s a hero in all of us…that keeps us honest…gives us strength…makes us noble…and finally allows us to die with pride, even though sometimes we have to be steady and give up the thing we want the most – even our dreams. ”

— Aunt May, Spider-Man II

I think we should all aspire to be more like Peter in our day to day lives. I think Spider-Man is truly Stan Lee’s & Steve Ditko’s greatest achievement in character creation. We all know Pete was the creation that Stan was the most proud of.

There’s a reason we all flock to the cinemas for this character, there’s a reason we all buy up the merch & play the games. To put it simply, Spider-Man gives us hope, hope that we ourselves can be better.

Have a lovely weekend & a fantastic January.

Much love to you all,

-C

Oh & my live action ranking goes:

Andrew

Tom

Tobey

This is not up for debate.