If you’re a follower of mine on my Instagram, today’s blog posting will not be entirely foreign to you. I posted the tiniest anecdote around the roots of this story on my story posts a few days ago & got incredible feedback simply regarding the short paragraph that I had written. So, naturally I though that I should expand upon it in this longer form setting.

Towards the turn of the year I had a TikTok creator, of whom I should give credit for this idea if their name hadn’t been alluding me for the last few weeks, come across my daily doom scroll. She works specifically in a spiritualist setting but has had a lot of clients talk about their manifestations & how they have trouble believing that the things they want are coming their way when they live in a state of lack. She went on to explain that it, to her, an impossibility to manifest from a mindset of lack & offered a quick tip on how to escape that cumbersome feeling. Her method was altogether simple & has, over the last week & some change, become a staple in my day to day thought process.

Her suggestion for escaping scarcity mindsets was incremental. She said that every day, at the end of her day, she writes down three things that happened that were little abundances. This teaches the brain to look out for things to be thankful for & recognize that even when things don’t seem to be going your way, there are always little things to latch onto that will shine even the slightest bit of light on darker situations. So what are little abundances? What does that look like in the mundane day to day?

A little abundance is simply something that went your way in the tiniest of ways, let’s come up with some examples shall we?

Maybe there was a 10% discount on something you needed from the grocer.

Maybe your fragrance of choice or someone else’s hit the olfactory just right & made you smile.

Maybe you woke up without feeling achy or sore.

Maybe you wore an outfit that made you feel alluring or sexy.

Maybe you made it through the day with less anxiety or depression than the day prior.

Maybe you came across a post that made you think of an old friend or helped you to learn something interesting you hadn’t known before.

Maybe you simply enjoyed being in someone’s presence.

Maybe the perfect stone caught your eye as you were walking & you gained a new pocket companion.

Maybe your pet showed you affection & love.

Maybe someone in your family or friend group did.

Maybe that last quarter mile of your run felt a little easier than normal.

Maybe you found time to read a book or watch a show or movie that makes you feel something.

Maybe you had a good hair day.

Maybe you noticed a new grey hair (again is a gift after all).

Maybe you felt a sense of wanderlust walking through nature.

Maybe you got in your car & it was the perfect temperature or the perfect song was playing.

Maybe all of the machines or weights at the gym were open when you needed them.

Maybe you enjoyed a cup of your favorite tea or coffee.

Maybe an animal graced you with its presence outside.

Maybe you found a $20 note in your coat pocket.

Maybe you finally beat that level in that game you’ve been playing.

Maybe you brightened someone else’s day.

Is this starting to make sense to you? There is no limit to how “small” these little abundances can be. The point is to start recognizing them as God, The Universe, Nature, whatever you believe in sets them in your path, accepting them, & being grateful for their enrichment of your life. You cannot expect to embrace & love the unknown that is life if you aren’t willing to, as the saying goes, stop & smell the roses.

Now my method of this looks a little different. I knew that if it came down to be writing out my little abundances list every night I wouldn’t do it, I’d forget to or view it as a chore. So my list is mental & isn’t restricted to the time in which I lay my head to rest at night, nor is it limited to three items.

I count my abundances as the day rolls on, why this works for me, I don’t know. How it ends up not being forgotten, again, don’t know, but thus far, every day throughout my day, I am reminded from something within to find my little abundances that I’ve experienced thus far & look on them with love, gratitude, & admiration. On my list today: I had a package arrive that I wasn’t expecting until next week, I woke up several times in the night to Max, on of our cats, snuggled into me purring loudly, I had enough time to complete all of the tasks I needed to get done today, I had a humorous dream last night, my dogs listened when they got in a tiff while playing & I didn’t have to break up a fight, I had ample leftovers in my fridge & didn’t have to cook in a day where my time was scarce, I was notified of a refill order for one of my scripts that now I don’t have to call my doctor to get filled, I lit & dispelled some Palo Santo, one of my favorite, most comforting scents, I noticed a few of my plants have new leaves despite it being winter & not a time for usual growth, I woke up today but did so feeling energized, well, & taken care of, my Irish Breakfast Tea that I’m sipping while writing this is brewed perfectly, I got a good picture of Harvey, my rapidly aging Golden, of whom I don’t know how many more pictures I’ll have the privilege of taking.

Your life is rich my dear readers, you just have to look for it. That’s not discounting your problems, your ailments, your struggles, but the beauty in life is found in the little things, in the little abundances that show us that somewhere out there something, someone, is on our side & that this beautifully tragic, lonely, simply complex life is worth living day by day.

I’d love if you all would adopt this philosophy as well or at the very least give the abundance lists a try. Do it in your own way, make it your own, however that looks. Talk about it openly & honestly, let people in to celebrate with you your tiny victories.

I hope this post hasn’t been too flowery for some of you, I know we’re all on different levels of our life journey & have different degrees of happiness, privilege, health, & prosperity. Just know this comes from a place of love & gratitude for all of you who take the time to read my thoughts each week. You all make my little abundances list every week!

As always, much love to you all,

-C

I feel I’ve gotten to the point in my life where I’m done apologizing, I’m done conforming, I’m done modifying to who people expect me to be verses the person that I know I am. Which is hard. It’s especially hard as an introvert & someone who shies away from conflict, but I guess I’ve just gotten to the point of being fed up. I’m not saying we should all be brash, in-your-face people all the time; I understand that there are certain situations that require some decorum. However, I am so sick of filtering myself around the people I love that claim to love me for me and sick of presenting a version of myself that isn’t entirely true.

I think we all naturally do this to an extent and that’s why we all have our wild streaks in our 20s. We grow up with the imprint of who our parents want us to be, who our friends & mentors want us to be. It’s not until we’re out of the house that a lot of us are free to experiment with the boundaries of our morality. We finally get the time to figure out what we value, what we don’t, what’s worth out time & effort, & what simply is not. For a lot of people these new found beliefs & lifestyles may end up clashing with the preconceived image of you someone you grew up with has. Thus, we filter. We either completely omit or cover up the parts of us the we don’t feel we can show the past out of some semblance of respect or love, when in reality these temporary walls we build end up requiring constant maintenance & energy to uphold & end up doing more harm than good. We end up drained, grouchy, unhappy because we don’t feel we’re allowed to be the people that we are around the people that are supposed to accept us as we are. We fight with this feeling of owing these people the version of you that they know because we think it’ll save them pain or discomfort, when in the end it ends up doing more damage.

This carries over into how we present ourselves in the world at large. We all tend to wear these different masks subconsciously, each specifically designed to augment or only show parts of who we are. We have the mask we wear for our significant others, the one that we grow unhappy in over time that ends in us hating that person because of how we’ve modified ourselves for them. We have the mask we wear to work that leaves you unfulfilled, hating a job you never wanted in the first place. We have the mask we wear for our friends, the strong one that never shows your vulnerabilities because you are the shoulder they turn to to cry on. And so one & so forth. Hell, we even go into new social settings with a list of pre-approved items we’re willing to share with a new acquaintance, friend, or colleague. I say enough. I am so tired of the masks. I'm so tired of trading them interchangeable throughout my day to uphold an idea that may no even be true. The idea that if people knew you, really knew you, they wouldn’t like you.

This specifically has wormed its way into music for me. What is music at the end of the day if not a form of expressing the self. Think of your favorite song. Is it pretty? Are the lyrics overly fantasized or is it gritty? Does it dive deep & attach to a part of you that fills you with melancholy, with nostalgia, with a strange sense of longing or hope? You see the songs that last, the artists that last are brash; they’re honest. They’re not afraid to talk about what they love, what hurts them, what they struggle with and as fans, we reward them by buying their albums, seeing them live, adding their songs to our rainy day playlists. I want to be that. I’m tired of writing into the cliches because I know it’s what will strike radio. I’m tired of filtering myself because the truth of my emotion might hurt someones feelings or make someone feel uncomfortable. I’m tired of trying to be someone I’m not & overriding the person that I am because I’m so incredibly proud of him. I’m proud of the steps he’s made, I’m proud of the man he’s become, I’m proud of the lessons he’s learned from his failures. I’m proud of myself.

I shouldn’t have to bushel my pride because someone else isn’t secure enough in who they are & neither should you. Live your life, YOUR life, because it is yours. It’s not your friend’s, it’s not your parent’s, it’s not your lover’s or your boss’s; it’s yours. Do what makes you happy, be the person that makes you happy, unapologetically. Live boldly but never arrogantly. Know your worth but never be afraid to help those in need. Love out loud, love everyone until they give you a reason not to. Be empathetic & kind & understanding. Listen to each other & walk in someone else’s shoes for a while. Realize your life experiences are not the norm, because there is no such thing. We all have walked different paths & just want to feel like we matter. So believe that you do. You matter, as you are. Have courage in that affirmation! If you don’t know who you are take the time to learn away from the masks. Date yourself, do something that makes you happy, really understand why it makes you happy. You’re magnificent, live as such!