Blog: Cold Fury

Here lies another blog that I really didn’t want to write but that emotionally I feel myself drawn to. My initial plan was to start this blog last night in the heat of the moment, but I decided to wait until today when I felt I might be a little more level headed. If you haven’t guessed by now this blog is about the rising tide of blatant fascism coming off the heels of the Tennessee GOP supermajority driven House’s ruling to expel two Democrat representatives from the chamber after three members of the house joined protestors in demanding an end to the gun violence that plagues US schools. A decision that left me, many other Tennesseans, Americans, & people around the world in a cold fury.

To put this into personal perspective, the rulings from the TN House started rolling out yesterday around the time that I entered the gym. The more happened, the more news that came out, the more I found myself infuriated. I found myself with my AirPods in, noise canceling activated, listening to absolutely nothing, & this was my modus operandi for the entire hour long duration of my work out. A friend of mine texted asking if I wanted to go out to trivia to which I declined, telling him in all honesty that I was not someone he wanted to be around yesterday evening.

To say I saw pissed is putting it lightly. I was texting friends of mine in blue states & other countries asking if they knew of any job openings. I was googling possible legal action that can be taken against those involved that would allow the reinstating of the representatives. I was even going so far as to try & think of possible ways in which Tennessee could redo its terribly gerrymandered election to overthrow this BS supermajority. Naturally I went through the five stages of grief.

I want to be forthright about something. This blog is not about outlining the events of history that unfolding last night & in the days leading up to it, there are plenty of those out there if you want an accurate account of what transpired. What I’m here to do today is to show you a glimpse of how people like me feel. How it feels to live in a bright blue city in a deep red state because it’s exhausting.

So many of us here in the south are fighting tooth & nail to have our voices heard, to feel like our opinions & lives matter, but it is becoming more & more apparent with every passing day & every passing bill that our GOP overlords would rather scapegoat & sit idly while they collect their lobbying checks. Over 10,000 students gathered at the Tennessee Capitol building last weekend & their answer to the outrage of these people was to expel the two black men who represent the vast majority of their districts for standing with them. Essentially last night’s decision has left two of the largest populous centers in the state, mostly inhabited by people of color, temporarily without a voice in the house that is meant to represent them all because the Tennessee GOP didn’t like two black men & a woman protesting their inaction.

Now, Nashville Metro has already set a date Monday to convene & vote on a new temporary representative but this still sets a precedent. It puts out the call for all of the other supermajority held houses in neighboring states that they can simply oust those who disagree with them simply for voicing those disagreements & siding with the people that they were elected to represent. People who, by the way, make up the majority of the population of the state.

This isn’t the only direct attack from intrenched Republicans around the country. In Kentucky last week thousands of protestors showed up to protest Kentucky’s ban on Gender Reaffirming care in an attempt to block the vetoed bill from being forcibly pushed through my the state congress. The masses voices went unrecognized. In Florida GOP Governor Ron DeSantos has begun arresting leaders of Democrat organizations & whistleblowers simply for going against him in protest. The state of these United States are frightening to say the least, especially for those who fall in the scapegoated target demographics such as Trans individuals, other members of the LGBTQ community, women, & any other non-white, non-christian minorities. The number of antisemitic, transphobic, homophobic, anti-muslim attacks are on the rise & the voices of the masses are being drowned out in favor of divisive, oppressive, flagrant policies.

I wrote a blog a few weeks ago about how it’s becoming very difficult to stay a Tennessean, it’s becoming very difficult to not pack everything up & move, not just out of this state, but out of this country. The checks & balances that are meant to be in place to keep the citizens of this country safe & prosperous are failing left, right, & center, & I fear that, without the rising up of the generations to my younger, that this will continue to worsen & worsen. I’ve written many pleas in the past to conservative voters begging them to understand the kind of people they put in office & the kind of long lasting damage it is doing to this country & the people who live here. I understand that the money goes to both sides of the aisle, but there is one group actively seeking to destroy the lives of our most vulnerable & those who, at least for appearances sake, are fighting them each step of the way.

If this nation is to succeed then we must remove money from our politics & we must create an America that holds space for all people, not just those in power or those who are white & christian. I ask you all the following questions that were rattling around my brain all night simply because I do not know & I am trying to find a way forward out of this cold, numb fury that I have been encapsulated in.

What do you do when a government want to be for the people is only for themselves?

What do you do when the system stops working (or works exactly how it was designed to), where politicians would rather scapegoat than actually make meaningful, positive change?

What do you do when the system takes far too long to accomplish anything?

What do you do when the voices of the ignorant, the hateful, the uneducated, outweigh the voices of the knowledgable, the empathetic, & the intellectual?

I ask all of these things to you all simply because I lack the answer & want so badly not to lose faith that this too shall pass & that good will win on the other side.

I hope whenever this blog finds you that you are well & you are blessed & that you week/weekend/whatever has & will be an exceptional one.

As always, much love to you all,

-C

Blog: How Long Before You Say “Tennessee Ya" To Tennessee?

Cheeky title aside this post does require a bit of a trigger warning. It’s also probably worth noting that all points & facts here within are valid & true especially regarding laws & events, that’s not to say they won’t include my own feelings about them.

Thanks.

Trigger Warning: Homophobic/Transphobic Language, Suicide, Fascism, & Racism

If you’re not a Tennessee resident you may have missed just how awful the last month & specifically the last 24 hours have been for marginalized groups here, especially where the LGBTQ & Black communities are concerned. Within the last 24 hours Tennessee’s drag ban has been signed, the bill that bans parents from supporting gender affirming care for their trans children was signed, a Republican house member advocated for the legalization of lynching, & a banner appeared off the highway over Chestnut Street in Nashville praising Bill Lee, our horrid governor, for “tirelessly working to fight trannies & fags” saying “we must secure the existence of our people & future for white children” with a massive picture of Tennessee brandishing a swastika. To say that yesterday was defeating for a lot of us would be an understatement.

A lot of this has been an ongoing fight for the last month or so, we all waited with bated breath to see if these bills would pass the Tennessee house & then the senate, & of course, they did despite the innumerable logical arguments put in place to oppose their existence. It also feels like the first in what will undoubtably be a long string of human rights violations aimed at those who fall within the LGBTQ community coming out of Tennessee. I want to break each of these down a little so that they’re understood & can be recognized for what they are; hateful, targeted, bigoted laws.

The TN Drag Ban, which goes into effect on July 1st, 2023, will make it a felony for anyone to be dressed for performance in the “clothing opposite their biological gender” within a public space. This includes, but is not limited to, drag, any performance containing gender swapped characters (Hairspray, Ms Doubtfire, Tootsie), trans performers, & cosplay. The law makes it so that any performance containing said features must be labeled as 18+ content & anyone caught performing outside of this regulation will receive a federal sex offender charge. The law also reclassifies the art of drag as burlesque & requires establishments that support it to reapply for their license under, essentially the same business blanket as a strip club. This will cause any bar, brunch, or other location who continues hosting drag brunches & the like to relinquish their liquor license in favor of creating inclusive spaces for all people. This bill also throws into question what is to be done for performances such as Shakespeare or, as aforementioned, Ms Doubtfire & Hairspray, both of which have tour stops at TPAC in 2024. Additionally it bars drag performers from pride events going forward & throws in questions regarding the safety & legality of those within the trans community. Additionally the wording in the bill itself is incredibly vague, which is no doubt intentional.

Let’s bounce one sentence back & let’s move into the gender affirming care ban.

The second law that was signed on the desk of the repugnant Bill Lee yesterday was that which prevents parents & medical providers from providing their children with gender affirming care. This means that if a child, teen, what have you comes to their parents & says ‘I believe in my heart of hearts that I was born the wrong gender,’ that their parents are now legally bound to do nothing. They can’t provide their child with counseling that would help them to understand & move forward in their desired identity, they can’t advocate for their child in a medical sense regarding anything around their desired gender, they are limited, essentially, in what they can now legally do as parents to support their child who is already going through probably one of the most difficult times in their life under the threat of felony charges. Medical personal can no longer take steps towards assisting trans youth in any regard that affirms their new identity. What this will result in is even more of what the south is facing post abortion bans where finding doctors & nurses is becoming fairly impossible. Additionally it will cause the suicide rates of those effected, trans youth, to sky rocket. Though I would assume that’s no skin off of these legislator’s backs.

I’m going to circle back to the capital punishment discussion within the TN house yesterday since I think the first two points & the last, the banner, are all within the same line of thought & the banner was in direct response to Bill signing the two bills into law.

This banner, which I explained the contents of above, is not the first neo-nazi sentiment we’ve had come out of this state in the last 24 hours, nor is it the only one pointed at the LGBTQ community. Additionally it was discovered that a neo-nazi group & local resident, Tonya Holley, who is also a member of the Daughters of the Confederacy, have put together a “hit list” of members of the LGBTQ living within Pulaski, TN. Pulaski also happens to be the founding place of the KKK. These individuals & the associated list have already been reported to Homeland Security but that hasn’t stopped members of the local government from requesting “legitiment names” of LGBTQ city members so that they can run them through the registered sex offender list, in spite of several members of the city counsel being well established members of the offender list in question.

Another item on the docket of the current Tennessee Congress has been capital punishment & reimplementing it specifically using firing squads & hangings. One member of the house, Paul Sherrell, argued that lynching should also be amended into the bill & should be legalized within the state despite having recently been outlawed nationwide. This legislator is the same who openly submitted a bill to change the name of Representative John Lewis Way to Donald Trump Way & apparently has never been shy or coy about his feelings towards the black members of the state of Tennessee.

All of this happened in a day. One singular day. And while the laws may have been coming down the pipeline for a while, the implementation & aggressive response to their implementation has all happened within the span of 24 hours. It’s gotten so bad that I’ve had people texting me asking if I need to move, to leave my home, which I am an owner of, & move to somewhere more progressive, While I don’t exactly think I’m there yet, I’m beginning to wonder what will be the straw that breaks the camels back for me? What will it take to dip out of this backwards ass state & its hateful legislators who have far more to be concerned about than stripping people of their rights. Maybe let’s focus on the 1/4th of all people living below the poverty line? Maybe let’s focus on how we’re in the 80th percentile for child & maternity mortality rates, or how we have one of the worst healthcare & education systems in the entire country. Maybe, just maybe, we should focus on the things that improve people’s lives instead of those that hinder them. Maybe we should figure out a way to get the 60+% of registered voters within the state who didn’t show up to vote for the midterms, the governor race, the state congressional race, to vote.

I don’t know what will be the last straw for me, truly I don’t, but I am so beyond sick & tired of hearing this “it’s just as bad on both sides” of the aisle argument when there is one clear group stripping rights, targeting marginalized groups, endangering Americans, destroying our futures & our planet, ostracizing people, flagrantly cheating to get ahead at the polls, damaging people’s lives, & encouraging hate groups while the other side of the aisle seeks to protect this nation & all of its people. These two things are not the same & never will be. For the 380+ bills introduced just these past three months that strip LGBTQ rights I would challenge anyone to find a single one that limits the rights of those on the opposite side of the fence. They don’t exist. This culture war is costing real human beings their lives over a completely fabricated enemy. We are not groomers. I am not a groomer, none of my LGBTQ friends are groomers nor have they ever been. What we are is uncles, aunts, siblings, sons, daughters, neighbors, coworkers, tax payers, employers, etc, etc, etc just trying to live our lives in peace. No one is taking the rights or the right away but they’re damn sure taking away the rights of those they’ve decided are “the enemy.”

I hope you have a great week or weekend, whenever you end up giving this a read.

And as always, much love to you all,

-C

Blog: Feeling Caught In The In-Between

I’m sitting here in my living room on a rainy mid-summer Friday afternoon in Nashville, TN, contemplating whether or not to go to an album release show that I was invited to this evening. Under normal circumstances the show would be a no brainer but when considering the rain (it’s outside) & the massive wave of COVID-19 Tennessee is currently facing I’m more than hesitant & that’s where I’ve been caught the last little while, in “the in-between.”

I’m going to once again apologize for my blog absence the last couple of weeks, I was spending time with family & was under the weather, which seems to be my new normal these days. It seems every time I leave Nashville I’m faced with the same questions; How is music going? When are you touring next? When does your next project come out? And these are questions I’d truly love to have answers to. It’s not from a lack of trying or a lack of interest or desire that my life feels held back from these things but it is more a feeling of responsibility.

As I’ve said in previous blogs, I took the pandemic very seriously, having a lot of family members in the medical fields & a lot of people I care for with auto-immune diseases, in addition to my own respiratory issues, I quarantined & masked up. As an artist, someone who is trying to make it in this business, that was hard. It was hard not only from the standpoint of having to halt any forward momentum I was having but also hard because I saw so many of my peers acting as if nothing had changed & going about business as usual, which I guess brings us to now.

I am vaccinated, I’ll happily proclaim that. I got injected as soon as I possibly could. I am also someone who has grown tired of this “anti-vax/anti-mask” movement & am 100% in favor of mask or vaccine mandates for businesses. I’m tired of sitting on the sidelines trying to be the good person who does what they can to help other people around me instead of whining about my freedoms but alas, those of us who are responsible & actually give a damn must sacrifice our own freedoms so that the selfish can continue to play & spread the disease & make things worse. I say all of this not so much to try to change the mind of anyone reading this who falls under that umbrella, because let’s face it, if the mountains of evidence won’t change your mind, how could I? I am more so saying all of this so you understand where those of us who are most vulnerable are coming from.

As I said, yes, I am vaccinated so I am protected, hopefully, from being hospitalized with COVID. That being said, I’d love to play shows, I’d love to go to events & be a person again, but I have this underlying fear or guilt that I’m then contributing to the problem. That I’m contributing to the filled ERs & the deaths, which in part, is true. I have so many friends, so many colleagues that are moving on, playing shows & what have you & I’m so jealous of them. I wish I could do that freely & not feel immediately guilty for doing so.

I’m caught in this purgatory of do I or don’t I where I know I’m vaccinated & know I can enforce that if I wanted at a show but I’m also the low guy on the totem pole, I don’t have the luxury of putting on a show & having it sell out in two minutes. So I feel stuck in inaction biding my time until the numbers start to dive again & I can psych myself up to booking shows again without the fear that they’ll just be cancelled again two weeks later.

It’s exhausting & it’s debilitating & makes you feel like crap but I feel a sense of responsibility that I wish half of the other people in this country felt as well. I’m tired of this pandemic, just as we all are, but the more days drag on, the more I’m tired of the excuses. We could be out of this, living a somewhat normal life if people would actually start giving a shit about their neighbors instead of just themselves. But I guess that’s the case with most things in this world.

Blog: Tennessee Tornadoes

As I went to bed Monday night/Tuesday morning just after midnight, around 12:40, I received a text from my mother that said “my weather alarm just went off for a tornado just northwest of you.” My immediate assumption of this was that she was referring to the tornados in lower Kentucky, but I dutifully opened my Weather Channel app & checked. It showed me nothing, just severe thunderstorms, so I went to sleep. I was awakened two-ish hours later by my dog, Harvey, barking. Whether he was barking at the lightning or the wind or the tornado sirens (apparently they went off, I didn’t hear them at all & I had my window open) I wasn’t sure, but I went into the living room to get him to stop. While up I found Evan on his phone & who casually dropped “Five Points is gone” without looking away from his screen. I said “what do you mean Five Points is gone?” He said “a tornado came through between 12:30 & 1:30 & took it out along with a lot of East Nashville & Germantown.” Little did we know that was far from the extent of the damage. From then on I spent the next several hours going from news sites to socials to figure out exactly what had gone down.

I’m sure a lot of you have seen the extent of the damage the two EF3 tornados brought to Nashville, Clarksville, & the surrounding areas. As of this moment that I’m writing this we lost 25 of those that called Nashville home, not to mention those who are still missing. The property damage is extensive, emotions run high, but the spirit of Nashville thrives. If you didn’t know, Tennessee is know as the Volunteer State, a tradition that dates back to the War of 1812, and I can firmly say that tradition holds true to this day. The response by the people of Nashville & its surrounding counties was immediate. Shelters were set up, donation sites & hotlines were activated, ground teams were put into work, but, my friends, we’re going to need a lot of help recovering.

I didn’t want to write too much in this blog about myself or my experiences because I’m fine. My house is fine, my body is unbroken, I am fine. And for that I thank God because I have witnessed the alternative. I have a lot of people I call friends who were directly impacted by the storm; those who hid it out in their closets, behind doors, or in their bathtubs. I have friends who are still without power & running water. I have friends who lost everything but their story rings true with so many folks from Nashville, Mt. Juliet, Clarksville, & Lebanon. I wanted to make the focal point of this blog all about helping.

If you have the ability the volunteer your time head over to www.hon.org & sign up. They send out daily volunteer opportunities but be warned, they fill up quickly. If you know someone effected offer them shelter, offer to help them clean up, don’t wait around for a volunteer spot to open up just because you feel you have to. There are ongoing postings on facebook, instagram, twitter about certain areas requesting certain types of work, grab one of them.

If you have the ability to donate specific supplies the current needs are:

• Hygiene Products

• Trash Bags

• Gloves

• Box Cutters

• Leashes/Collars

• Canned Meat

• Tarps

• Water

• Non-Perishable Snacks

• Bread

• Peanut Butter

• Flashlights

• Hand Sanitizer

• Towels

• Feminine Products

• Coloring Books & Pencils

  These items can be donated at:

• The Community Resource Center located at 218 Omohundro Place

• Cross Point Church of Bellevue located at 7675 Us-70S, Nashville, TN 37221

• Second Harvest Food Bank at 331 Great Circle Road

If you’d like to donate money visit cmft.org or unitedway.org, any amount counts!

If you are in Nashville & are still in need of shelter or provisions there are shelters & food available at the following locations:

• Centennial Sportsplex (222 25th Ave N)

• East Magnet School (110 Gallatin Ave.)

• Bridgestone Arena

• American Legion Post 82 (3204 Gallatin Pike)

• Cookeville Community Center (240 Carlson Drive)

• Inner Light Yoga (2227 10th Ave S)

  Resource Hubs can be found at:

• Eastland Funeral Home-Food at Noon (904 Gallatin Ave)

• Zeal Church (5807 Charlotte Pike)

• Lee Chapel AME Church (1200 Dr. DB Todd Jr. Blvd)

• Victory Baptist Church (1777 Tate Lane)

Uhaul is offering 30 days of free self storage to displaced residents.

The following East Nashville Restaurants are offering Free Food and/or Coffee:

• Five Daughters Bakery

• Nicolettos

• Cafe Roze

• Retrograde Coffee

• Brightside Bakeshop

• Bongo East

• Grilled Cheeserie at Hunter’s Station

I have no doubt Nashville will come out the other side of this a stronger community than the already thriving one that existed here. It won’t be without its scars but I truly do believe in you Nashville. I believe in your incredible strength, endurance, & resilience. Fight on, love one another, & please do everything in your power to help each other.

I Believe In Nashville