Tennessee

Blog: A Song Of Ice & Gas Fire

Sorry to leave you all hanging last week, I was in prep mode for what would turn out to be a National Emergency. If you’re new around these parts, hi, my name is Charlie, I live in Nashville, Tennessee. If you’ve paying to the news at all in the last week you’ll know that we got destroyed with a historic ice storm, the repercussions of which a lot of the city is still actively dealing with. I want to let you in on what our experience was like during this & walk you through the last week, & a few days prior, of my life here.

The first thing I want to make abundantly clear before we begin is how grateful I am that things turned out the way they did for Evan & I. We (well, I) went into this preparing for the worst & did the best with that as I think I could. We are also incredibly fortunate to be back with electricity, hopefully that continues going forward, but we are continuing to live with the possibility of that not being the case. I am also grateful to have the financial means to prepare & adapt as this storm became apparent, during, & after the fact. A lot of what happened , & the cards that fell into place, seem a lot like divine providence. I’m grateful to the linemen who are still out working to restore people’s power. I’m grateful to the community of Nashville who have really stepped up to help & take care of one another in this time & the friends of ours that checked in insistently on us & offered up warm places for us to stay, should we have chosen to leave our house. So many in this city are still in the cold & the dark & my heart goes out to them. We got about half of what you all have been dealing with & I fear it will be something I will need to work through psychologically for the next bit of time.

The Week Before

Originally the forecast for us just said snow, a lot of snow, 12-16 inches, but still just snow. Manageable. As the week went on & the models continued to update it became apparent that the initial model was shifting north & that we would end up getting only a couple inches of snow, some sleet, & a whole lot of freezing rain. Then it became apparent that we would be THE center of the freezing rain at its worst. This is where the preparation started.

The first steps were weather sealing & preparing for the possibility of us losing power. Original projections said that we would only get about half an inch of accumulated freezing rain, of which they thought power outages would be sporadic & manageable. We invested in a bunch of weather stripping to reseal our windows & doors from the drafts, some pipe wraps to cut in half & use to seal the garage door, & some extension cords to plug into the back of the car, an electric truck that I had the privilege of attaining back in November. We searched fruitlessly for a generator, as did most of the city, but as indicated, came up dry there.

We bumped the heat in the house up to a consistent 75º (usually set to around 68º), charged the truck up to 100% (you typically only charge up to 80%), bumped the heater in my reef tank up to 80º (typically set to 78º), & stocked up on a myriad of food that we could eat without needing to cook it or heat it, that we could leave out without fear of it spoiling. We backed the truck up to right up against the garage door, ran two 100 foot extension cords from the bed, under the garage door, & through the garage entrance into the house. We covered all the sensitive outdoor plants in burlap sacks so as to protect them from the frost. And lastly, we made sure everything was charged all the way up; phones, tablets, laptops, battery backups, power tool batteries that we had an inverter for, & a back up battery pack for our wifi router (more on that later). We pulled stashes of potable water as well, just incase, for some reason, we couldn’t get water. Then we waited.

Our main concern with the power going out was our reef tank. I have a 185 gallon reef tank that, over the more than a decade of owning it, has accumulated probably thousands of dollars worth of coral, fish, & invertebrates. It’s a delicate ecosystem that has to stay within 75 & 80º, requires intensive lighting, & has internal chemistry that is dependent upon filters & pumps & rock & vegetation. It’s honestly a really great thing to own in the event of a sub-freezing power outage……..In addition to it, we have two cats, a dog, & a very large number of tropical house plants…like in the high 100s, most of which you aren’t supposed to let get into sub-50º temperatures. Really a recipe for disaster over here in this climate where it’s cold half of the year.

Sunday

We lost power at around 4:45 AM on Sunday. We accepted it for what it was, got up & put blankets over the tank & went back to bed to deal with the outage at a more proper time of morning. We’d already insulated the house & bumped the temperature, the only thing we could do at this point was preserve it the best we could.

We got up around 9 AM to continue our tasks. I moved the heater from the sump tank below the main aquarium, where the filters & such sit, into the main tank & plugged it into the main extension cord from the truck. What we hadn’t anticipated happening was that our cellular service also went out. Fortunately I had plugged in & set up the wifi back up the day prior! I told you it’d come back up. The battery back up actually operates on a separate modem & uses cellular to provide a weaker, but still reliable wifi signal. The battery pack for it lasts around 8 hours on a full charge. We kept it charged consistently using the power inverter & the power tool batteries.

Around 11 AM we were given a false hope. Our power sputtered on. It did so for only about a minute before there was a loud pop & we were once again without.

We spent most of the day doing little things around the house to keep things safe or warm in the slightest. We moved our nicer instruments to the primary bedroom where we were running a space heater off the truck, we ran a small space heater in the garage to help protect the pipes from freezing, we ate cereal, jerky, rice cakes, chips, granola bars, fruit, etc. in an attempt to avoid opening the fridge/freezer & I think by the evening we had only lost about 10º of heat with the fish tank holding strong.

We pulled most of the food we wanted to save from our fridge & put it in coolers outside. At one point in the evening Evan tried to heat a pitcher of vegetable broth with a candle warmer which took about an hour to get up to even the most lukewarm of temperatures. On his second batch, just before it got up to temperature, the cats came running through the living room, caught ahold of the cable for the warmer in the dark, & sent soup flying across the living room. This would be the first of several crash outs from the outage.

With the tank up to temp at night we opted to use the extension plug for a heated blanket which we layered under about two others on the bed & ran until we were well & toasty. At which point we unplugged the blanket & plugged the fish tank heater back in.

Our last saving grace of the day was finding that our gas water heater was still heating water, so we each took a long bath to soak out the cold from our bones before bed.

Monday

When we woke up Monday morning, now 24+ hours without power, the temperature in the house was sitting in the low 50s. Clearly the single space heater wasn’t going to cut it. Not that I really ever thought it would. Problem number one. Additionally, I opened up the front of the aquarium to check on things to find many a number of the fish & invertebrates dead despite the temperature consistency. Problem number two.

For problem one we needed to find a heating solution. There was a blatant one staring us in the face that we didn’t want to use, but that ended up being our only real option. Our gas fireplaces.

We have two ventless gas fireplaces in our house; one in the primary that passes between the bedroom & the bath & one in the living room. We don’t like to run them because they make the house have a kerosene smell, apparently that’s to be expected. You’re also not supposed to run them for longer than an hour to three at a time. Our main concern with them was the carbon monoxide that they put off, while it may be small amounts, it still is there & builds up over time. The other side of that coin is that while we occasionally use the bedroom one, & we cleaned it prior to the freeze, the one in the living room hadn’t been operational for several years. Around the afternoon that started to not matter.

We began running the bedroom fireplace pretty early in the day. I then went about doing what I could to get the living room one up & running. We cleaned it out, dusted it, & did the most tuning we could possibly do ourselves. Lowe & behold, I got it working. Though not without us both being incredibly wary of its existence.

Problem two was an oversight problem on my own part. After diving into the internet about saving your reef tank from a winter power outage, the first thing that came up was using a bubbler to keep oxygen flowing as the creatures in the tank will use up the majority of the oxygen in the water fairly quickly. Everything in my tank that died suffocated. I immediately shifted the tank plan.

My first course of action was to plug in a bubbler. I have a spare one that I keep in my car in the event that I pick up some fish from a shop in St. Louis on the way home from visiting my parents in KC. I plugged it into the one of the three outlets on the end of the extension cord, keeping the heater in as well. Then I started thinking about the nitrate cycle of the tank. Fish & food waste breaks down into nitrate, which then converts to nitrite, which then becomes ammonia, all of which are toxic to fish in varying degrees. Filters help to mitigate & remove these compounds from the water. I then made the executive decision to just relocate all of my efforts to the sump tank & power everything from there, it would allow the water to circulate, heat, & filter. It also made it so I could run my protein skimmer, a filter that uses aeration to catch excess proteins in the water, convert them into foam, & collects them in a cup as the foam rises. Think the foam that accumulates on a beach from the waves. I know it was an unsafe electrical decision, but I plugged all of that into one strip & isolated it on the extension cord. It didn’t overload it, so I guess that was good.

We were really running by the seat of our pants here. Our options were let the house freeze or maybe get carbon monoxide poisoning & die. Then the other side of that was risk starting a fire or lose the fish tank. I chose the riskier options on either hand making sure to have our battery operated carbon monoxide detector running & keeping an eye on the electrical.

We went through & pulled all of our stuff from the garage freezers, which amazingly still had full solid ice, & moved them outdoors in coolers as well.

This was also definitely the day our mental health started to deteriorate. I think Evan & I both did a lot of sitting around in layers, staring. We weren’t talking or watching things or reading or anything, it was too cold to. All we did was sit & stare & eat & problem solve as the problems arose. We took midday showers to keep warm & another in the evening.

By the time we closed out the night the temperature in the house was holding at around 55º. We both took a hydroxyzine (we’re prescribed, don’t worry) to help to cope with the anxiety of it all & began to wonder the same thing. Whether or not the tightness in our chests, the lightheadedness, the slight headache, the sleepiness, was from the drug neither of us had taken in a minute, or the fumes from the fireplaces. The fireplaces were turned off & we tucked in early for the night.

Tuesday

I woke Tuesday very stressed. At this point we were 48 hours in & the temperature in the house had dropped ten degrees overnight, putting us at 45º & the only option we had to reheat was the fireplaces that both of us were growing more & more leery of by the minute. Without much other option, they were turned back on.

I was also growing concerned about my corals. Corals are organisms that contain both a plant & an animal aspect & they have to photosynthesize to stay alive. The small amount of light from the windows doesn’t cut it either. I decided to plug a second strip in & run the lights…don’t try this at home kids.

As the morning crept into afternoon it became apparent that we were in trouble. Evan was mid crash out on the couch next to the fire when I walked down the stairs to find myself increasingly out of breath. I asked him if he was having the same issue, he was. We decided we needed to figure out another solution even though the alarm was still reading zero parts per million for CO.

Our roads were now thawed enough to get out of the neighborhood & Home Depot down the street had power & was showing available space heaters. That became the plan. Unplug the truck, go to Home Depot, see if they have space heaters & more extension cords for the truck & heat the house that way.

I don’t quite know where, when, or who it was that I saw, but I got a post from a friend on socials about picking up his rental car for his vacation. It clicked. I immediately called up Avis, booked something with four wheel drive & began to formulate a new plan.

Step one. Evan & I take the truck, which was still at 65% charge after being run for 2 days straight, & go to the airport where he’d drop me off & I’d pick up the rental car. Step two. While I was picking up the rental car he’d take the truck to a fast charger & charge it up to at least 80% again. Step three. While he was doing that, I’d take the rental & go to Home Depot for space heaters, extension cords, & maybe a generator (they didn't have any). Step four. We’d meet back up at home at which time we’d plug the other extension cords into the truck, plug the space heaters in off of them & plug the tank in with its lights on running each off their own circuit from the truck. Once that was established we’d start looking for hotels. The plan went off mostly effortlessly. The problem arose when we went to look for hotels.

With around a fourth of Nashville still without power, a lot of the hotels were booked up. Additionally we needed somewhere that would allow Pete to come with us, most of the places we called that had availability only allowed dogs up to 40 lbs, which I think is complete & utter bull. Lastly, most of the hotels that were available were pricey on pricey as the lower options had all been scooped up.

After an hour of calling we ended up getting ahold of Holston House in Downtown Nashville. Normally a fairly expensive stay, they were offering a local discount of around 40-50%. We booked it immediately. We then decided that we needed to test to make sure our plan was going to work, that the house & the tank wouldn’t overload the breaker on the truck & that it would at least hold temperature which was back up in the 50s from the fireplaces. We opted to go grab our first hot meal in 62 hours & come back to check in once we were done.

As soon as we moved the seat protectors for the dog from the truck to the rental our power came back on. As soon as we finished with that task. We were bound to our hotel room for the night already so instead of going to dinner we shifted our attention to packing a bag for the night for both of us & Pete & returning things to being plugged in that needed it, fully preparing for the possibility of the power dipping out again. I returned the plug ins for the fish tank back to the wall with the exception of the heater & the bubbler, which I returned to the main tank just in case.

The hotel was lovely, they gave us complimentary cocktails upon arrival. We got up to the warm room, ordered our first hot meal of a cheeseburger, pot roast, & truffle fries & found ourselves full of gratitude while also being entirely fried from a nervous system point of view. I’d spent the last two & a half days making a lot of the decisions for the two of us, most of which felt like they were potentially putting us in harms way. It was a balancing act of figuring out what was worth the risk & what wasn’t.

Aftermath

We fortunately never lost power again. Naturally we extended the invitation that so many lovely folks extended our way to those still without power all while continuing to prepare for the possibility that we might lose power again. We’re keeping our house at an elevated temperature, we’re keeping the car charged, we’re keeping the tank warmer than usual, we’re staying stocked of dry provisions & making sure batteries are charged.

At its peak there were around 250,000 homes & businesses without power. When ours was restored the number was down to around 140,000. Today, four days later, that number still sits around 60,000 with many of those people seeing no end in sight for this nightmare. The weather here hasn’t gotten above freezing since before the storm & won’t be until next week. Nashville Electric, who has severely dropped the ball for this, is projecting that some people won’t have power for another week still. The mishandling of this disaster on their part has cost people lives, livelihood, & their sanity. It’s completely unacceptable. Some who have gained power have lost it again, others didn’t lose power until Wednesday or Thursday with even more people having lost power today.

The linemen here are not at fault, praise be to them. That blame lands with NES, the Nashville government, & the Tennessee government. They were unprepared, they rely on antiquated technology for our electrical grid, & have done truly very little to help the constituents trapped without power in sub-freezing conditions. Many parts of Nashville look like a tornado went through. Most of our trees are still covered in ice & my fear is once it begins to thaw next week that it’ll knock out more power from the limbs or trees that are frozen aloft that no longer have the ice holding them in place. To say it’s a mess is putting it lightly.

Again, I cannot state how fortunate Evan & I were to have only had to go 62 hours without power. Many people have gone a full week at this point. I pray for those still in the cold & the dark. I pray for those who are out repairing lines & cutting down trees. I pray for this city, but I am amazed by the community that has risen above & beyond here. If you are in Nashville reading this, please stay safe, stay warm, & lean on one another to help or receive help where you can.

Additionally, I’ve linked some resources here from Nashville Scene if you are a local in need.

As Always, Much Love To You All,

-C

Blog: Cold Fury

Here lies another blog that I really didn’t want to write but that emotionally I feel myself drawn to. My initial plan was to start this blog last night in the heat of the moment, but I decided to wait until today when I felt I might be a little more level headed. If you haven’t guessed by now this blog is about the rising tide of blatant fascism coming off the heels of the Tennessee GOP supermajority driven House’s ruling to expel two Democrat representatives from the chamber after three members of the house joined protestors in demanding an end to the gun violence that plagues US schools. A decision that left me, many other Tennesseans, Americans, & people around the world in a cold fury.

To put this into personal perspective, the rulings from the TN House started rolling out yesterday around the time that I entered the gym. The more happened, the more news that came out, the more I found myself infuriated. I found myself with my AirPods in, noise canceling activated, listening to absolutely nothing, & this was my modus operandi for the entire hour long duration of my work out. A friend of mine texted asking if I wanted to go out to trivia to which I declined, telling him in all honesty that I was not someone he wanted to be around yesterday evening.

To say I saw pissed is putting it lightly. I was texting friends of mine in blue states & other countries asking if they knew of any job openings. I was googling possible legal action that can be taken against those involved that would allow the reinstating of the representatives. I was even going so far as to try & think of possible ways in which Tennessee could redo its terribly gerrymandered election to overthrow this BS supermajority. Naturally I went through the five stages of grief.

I want to be forthright about something. This blog is not about outlining the events of history that unfolding last night & in the days leading up to it, there are plenty of those out there if you want an accurate account of what transpired. What I’m here to do today is to show you a glimpse of how people like me feel. How it feels to live in a bright blue city in a deep red state because it’s exhausting.

So many of us here in the south are fighting tooth & nail to have our voices heard, to feel like our opinions & lives matter, but it is becoming more & more apparent with every passing day & every passing bill that our GOP overlords would rather scapegoat & sit idly while they collect their lobbying checks. Over 10,000 students gathered at the Tennessee Capitol building last weekend & their answer to the outrage of these people was to expel the two black men who represent the vast majority of their districts for standing with them. Essentially last night’s decision has left two of the largest populous centers in the state, mostly inhabited by people of color, temporarily without a voice in the house that is meant to represent them all because the Tennessee GOP didn’t like two black men & a woman protesting their inaction.

Now, Nashville Metro has already set a date Monday to convene & vote on a new temporary representative but this still sets a precedent. It puts out the call for all of the other supermajority held houses in neighboring states that they can simply oust those who disagree with them simply for voicing those disagreements & siding with the people that they were elected to represent. People who, by the way, make up the majority of the population of the state.

This isn’t the only direct attack from intrenched Republicans around the country. In Kentucky last week thousands of protestors showed up to protest Kentucky’s ban on Gender Reaffirming care in an attempt to block the vetoed bill from being forcibly pushed through my the state congress. The masses voices went unrecognized. In Florida GOP Governor Ron DeSantos has begun arresting leaders of Democrat organizations & whistleblowers simply for going against him in protest. The state of these United States are frightening to say the least, especially for those who fall in the scapegoated target demographics such as Trans individuals, other members of the LGBTQ community, women, & any other non-white, non-christian minorities. The number of antisemitic, transphobic, homophobic, anti-muslim attacks are on the rise & the voices of the masses are being drowned out in favor of divisive, oppressive, flagrant policies.

I wrote a blog a few weeks ago about how it’s becoming very difficult to stay a Tennessean, it’s becoming very difficult to not pack everything up & move, not just out of this state, but out of this country. The checks & balances that are meant to be in place to keep the citizens of this country safe & prosperous are failing left, right, & center, & I fear that, without the rising up of the generations to my younger, that this will continue to worsen & worsen. I’ve written many pleas in the past to conservative voters begging them to understand the kind of people they put in office & the kind of long lasting damage it is doing to this country & the people who live here. I understand that the money goes to both sides of the aisle, but there is one group actively seeking to destroy the lives of our most vulnerable & those who, at least for appearances sake, are fighting them each step of the way.

If this nation is to succeed then we must remove money from our politics & we must create an America that holds space for all people, not just those in power or those who are white & christian. I ask you all the following questions that were rattling around my brain all night simply because I do not know & I am trying to find a way forward out of this cold, numb fury that I have been encapsulated in.

What do you do when a government want to be for the people is only for themselves?

What do you do when the system stops working (or works exactly how it was designed to), where politicians would rather scapegoat than actually make meaningful, positive change?

What do you do when the system takes far too long to accomplish anything?

What do you do when the voices of the ignorant, the hateful, the uneducated, outweigh the voices of the knowledgable, the empathetic, & the intellectual?

I ask all of these things to you all simply because I lack the answer & want so badly not to lose faith that this too shall pass & that good will win on the other side.

I hope whenever this blog finds you that you are well & you are blessed & that you week/weekend/whatever has & will be an exceptional one.

As always, much love to you all,

-C

Blog: How Long Before You Say “Tennessee Ya" To Tennessee?

Cheeky title aside this post does require a bit of a trigger warning. It’s also probably worth noting that all points & facts here within are valid & true especially regarding laws & events, that’s not to say they won’t include my own feelings about them.

Thanks.

Trigger Warning: Homophobic/Transphobic Language, Suicide, Fascism, & Racism

If you’re not a Tennessee resident you may have missed just how awful the last month & specifically the last 24 hours have been for marginalized groups here, especially where the LGBTQ & Black communities are concerned. Within the last 24 hours Tennessee’s drag ban has been signed, the bill that bans parents from supporting gender affirming care for their trans children was signed, a Republican house member advocated for the legalization of lynching, & a banner appeared off the highway over Chestnut Street in Nashville praising Bill Lee, our horrid governor, for “tirelessly working to fight trannies & fags” saying “we must secure the existence of our people & future for white children” with a massive picture of Tennessee brandishing a swastika. To say that yesterday was defeating for a lot of us would be an understatement.

A lot of this has been an ongoing fight for the last month or so, we all waited with bated breath to see if these bills would pass the Tennessee house & then the senate, & of course, they did despite the innumerable logical arguments put in place to oppose their existence. It also feels like the first in what will undoubtably be a long string of human rights violations aimed at those who fall within the LGBTQ community coming out of Tennessee. I want to break each of these down a little so that they’re understood & can be recognized for what they are; hateful, targeted, bigoted laws.

The TN Drag Ban, which goes into effect on July 1st, 2023, will make it a felony for anyone to be dressed for performance in the “clothing opposite their biological gender” within a public space. This includes, but is not limited to, drag, any performance containing gender swapped characters (Hairspray, Ms Doubtfire, Tootsie), trans performers, & cosplay. The law makes it so that any performance containing said features must be labeled as 18+ content & anyone caught performing outside of this regulation will receive a federal sex offender charge. The law also reclassifies the art of drag as burlesque & requires establishments that support it to reapply for their license under, essentially the same business blanket as a strip club. This will cause any bar, brunch, or other location who continues hosting drag brunches & the like to relinquish their liquor license in favor of creating inclusive spaces for all people. This bill also throws into question what is to be done for performances such as Shakespeare or, as aforementioned, Ms Doubtfire & Hairspray, both of which have tour stops at TPAC in 2024. Additionally it bars drag performers from pride events going forward & throws in questions regarding the safety & legality of those within the trans community. Additionally the wording in the bill itself is incredibly vague, which is no doubt intentional.

Let’s bounce one sentence back & let’s move into the gender affirming care ban.

The second law that was signed on the desk of the repugnant Bill Lee yesterday was that which prevents parents & medical providers from providing their children with gender affirming care. This means that if a child, teen, what have you comes to their parents & says ‘I believe in my heart of hearts that I was born the wrong gender,’ that their parents are now legally bound to do nothing. They can’t provide their child with counseling that would help them to understand & move forward in their desired identity, they can’t advocate for their child in a medical sense regarding anything around their desired gender, they are limited, essentially, in what they can now legally do as parents to support their child who is already going through probably one of the most difficult times in their life under the threat of felony charges. Medical personal can no longer take steps towards assisting trans youth in any regard that affirms their new identity. What this will result in is even more of what the south is facing post abortion bans where finding doctors & nurses is becoming fairly impossible. Additionally it will cause the suicide rates of those effected, trans youth, to sky rocket. Though I would assume that’s no skin off of these legislator’s backs.

I’m going to circle back to the capital punishment discussion within the TN house yesterday since I think the first two points & the last, the banner, are all within the same line of thought & the banner was in direct response to Bill signing the two bills into law.

This banner, which I explained the contents of above, is not the first neo-nazi sentiment we’ve had come out of this state in the last 24 hours, nor is it the only one pointed at the LGBTQ community. Additionally it was discovered that a neo-nazi group & local resident, Tonya Holley, who is also a member of the Daughters of the Confederacy, have put together a “hit list” of members of the LGBTQ living within Pulaski, TN. Pulaski also happens to be the founding place of the KKK. These individuals & the associated list have already been reported to Homeland Security but that hasn’t stopped members of the local government from requesting “legitiment names” of LGBTQ city members so that they can run them through the registered sex offender list, in spite of several members of the city counsel being well established members of the offender list in question.

Another item on the docket of the current Tennessee Congress has been capital punishment & reimplementing it specifically using firing squads & hangings. One member of the house, Paul Sherrell, argued that lynching should also be amended into the bill & should be legalized within the state despite having recently been outlawed nationwide. This legislator is the same who openly submitted a bill to change the name of Representative John Lewis Way to Donald Trump Way & apparently has never been shy or coy about his feelings towards the black members of the state of Tennessee.

All of this happened in a day. One singular day. And while the laws may have been coming down the pipeline for a while, the implementation & aggressive response to their implementation has all happened within the span of 24 hours. It’s gotten so bad that I’ve had people texting me asking if I need to move, to leave my home, which I am an owner of, & move to somewhere more progressive, While I don’t exactly think I’m there yet, I’m beginning to wonder what will be the straw that breaks the camels back for me? What will it take to dip out of this backwards ass state & its hateful legislators who have far more to be concerned about than stripping people of their rights. Maybe let’s focus on the 1/4th of all people living below the poverty line? Maybe let’s focus on how we’re in the 80th percentile for child & maternity mortality rates, or how we have one of the worst healthcare & education systems in the entire country. Maybe, just maybe, we should focus on the things that improve people’s lives instead of those that hinder them. Maybe we should figure out a way to get the 60+% of registered voters within the state who didn’t show up to vote for the midterms, the governor race, the state congressional race, to vote.

I don’t know what will be the last straw for me, truly I don’t, but I am so beyond sick & tired of hearing this “it’s just as bad on both sides” of the aisle argument when there is one clear group stripping rights, targeting marginalized groups, endangering Americans, destroying our futures & our planet, ostracizing people, flagrantly cheating to get ahead at the polls, damaging people’s lives, & encouraging hate groups while the other side of the aisle seeks to protect this nation & all of its people. These two things are not the same & never will be. For the 380+ bills introduced just these past three months that strip LGBTQ rights I would challenge anyone to find a single one that limits the rights of those on the opposite side of the fence. They don’t exist. This culture war is costing real human beings their lives over a completely fabricated enemy. We are not groomers. I am not a groomer, none of my LGBTQ friends are groomers nor have they ever been. What we are is uncles, aunts, siblings, sons, daughters, neighbors, coworkers, tax payers, employers, etc, etc, etc just trying to live our lives in peace. No one is taking the rights or the right away but they’re damn sure taking away the rights of those they’ve decided are “the enemy.”

I hope you have a great week or weekend, whenever you end up giving this a read.

And as always, much love to you all,

-C

Blog: Feeling Caught In The In-Between

I’m sitting here in my living room on a rainy mid-summer Friday afternoon in Nashville, TN, contemplating whether or not to go to an album release show that I was invited to this evening. Under normal circumstances the show would be a no brainer but when considering the rain (it’s outside) & the massive wave of COVID-19 Tennessee is currently facing I’m more than hesitant & that’s where I’ve been caught the last little while, in “the in-between.”

I’m going to once again apologize for my blog absence the last couple of weeks, I was spending time with family & was under the weather, which seems to be my new normal these days. It seems every time I leave Nashville I’m faced with the same questions; How is music going? When are you touring next? When does your next project come out? And these are questions I’d truly love to have answers to. It’s not from a lack of trying or a lack of interest or desire that my life feels held back from these things but it is more a feeling of responsibility.

As I’ve said in previous blogs, I took the pandemic very seriously, having a lot of family members in the medical fields & a lot of people I care for with auto-immune diseases, in addition to my own respiratory issues, I quarantined & masked up. As an artist, someone who is trying to make it in this business, that was hard. It was hard not only from the standpoint of having to halt any forward momentum I was having but also hard because I saw so many of my peers acting as if nothing had changed & going about business as usual, which I guess brings us to now.

I am vaccinated, I’ll happily proclaim that. I got injected as soon as I possibly could. I am also someone who has grown tired of this “anti-vax/anti-mask” movement & am 100% in favor of mask or vaccine mandates for businesses. I’m tired of sitting on the sidelines trying to be the good person who does what they can to help other people around me instead of whining about my freedoms but alas, those of us who are responsible & actually give a damn must sacrifice our own freedoms so that the selfish can continue to play & spread the disease & make things worse. I say all of this not so much to try to change the mind of anyone reading this who falls under that umbrella, because let’s face it, if the mountains of evidence won’t change your mind, how could I? I am more so saying all of this so you understand where those of us who are most vulnerable are coming from.

As I said, yes, I am vaccinated so I am protected, hopefully, from being hospitalized with COVID. That being said, I’d love to play shows, I’d love to go to events & be a person again, but I have this underlying fear or guilt that I’m then contributing to the problem. That I’m contributing to the filled ERs & the deaths, which in part, is true. I have so many friends, so many colleagues that are moving on, playing shows & what have you & I’m so jealous of them. I wish I could do that freely & not feel immediately guilty for doing so.

I’m caught in this purgatory of do I or don’t I where I know I’m vaccinated & know I can enforce that if I wanted at a show but I’m also the low guy on the totem pole, I don’t have the luxury of putting on a show & having it sell out in two minutes. So I feel stuck in inaction biding my time until the numbers start to dive again & I can psych myself up to booking shows again without the fear that they’ll just be cancelled again two weeks later.

It’s exhausting & it’s debilitating & makes you feel like crap but I feel a sense of responsibility that I wish half of the other people in this country felt as well. I’m tired of this pandemic, just as we all are, but the more days drag on, the more I’m tired of the excuses. We could be out of this, living a somewhat normal life if people would actually start giving a shit about their neighbors instead of just themselves. But I guess that’s the case with most things in this world.

Blog: Tennessee Tornadoes

As I went to bed Monday night/Tuesday morning just after midnight, around 12:40, I received a text from my mother that said “my weather alarm just went off for a tornado just northwest of you.” My immediate assumption of this was that she was referring to the tornados in lower Kentucky, but I dutifully opened my Weather Channel app & checked. It showed me nothing, just severe thunderstorms, so I went to sleep. I was awakened two-ish hours later by my dog, Harvey, barking. Whether he was barking at the lightning or the wind or the tornado sirens (apparently they went off, I didn’t hear them at all & I had my window open) I wasn’t sure, but I went into the living room to get him to stop. While up I found Evan on his phone & who casually dropped “Five Points is gone” without looking away from his screen. I said “what do you mean Five Points is gone?” He said “a tornado came through between 12:30 & 1:30 & took it out along with a lot of East Nashville & Germantown.” Little did we know that was far from the extent of the damage. From then on I spent the next several hours going from news sites to socials to figure out exactly what had gone down.

I’m sure a lot of you have seen the extent of the damage the two EF3 tornados brought to Nashville, Clarksville, & the surrounding areas. As of this moment that I’m writing this we lost 25 of those that called Nashville home, not to mention those who are still missing. The property damage is extensive, emotions run high, but the spirit of Nashville thrives. If you didn’t know, Tennessee is know as the Volunteer State, a tradition that dates back to the War of 1812, and I can firmly say that tradition holds true to this day. The response by the people of Nashville & its surrounding counties was immediate. Shelters were set up, donation sites & hotlines were activated, ground teams were put into work, but, my friends, we’re going to need a lot of help recovering.

I didn’t want to write too much in this blog about myself or my experiences because I’m fine. My house is fine, my body is unbroken, I am fine. And for that I thank God because I have witnessed the alternative. I have a lot of people I call friends who were directly impacted by the storm; those who hid it out in their closets, behind doors, or in their bathtubs. I have friends who are still without power & running water. I have friends who lost everything but their story rings true with so many folks from Nashville, Mt. Juliet, Clarksville, & Lebanon. I wanted to make the focal point of this blog all about helping.

If you have the ability the volunteer your time head over to www.hon.org & sign up. They send out daily volunteer opportunities but be warned, they fill up quickly. If you know someone effected offer them shelter, offer to help them clean up, don’t wait around for a volunteer spot to open up just because you feel you have to. There are ongoing postings on facebook, instagram, twitter about certain areas requesting certain types of work, grab one of them.

If you have the ability to donate specific supplies the current needs are:

  • Hygiene Products

  • Trash Bags

  • Gloves

  • Box Cutters

  • Leashes/Collars

  • Canned Meat

  • Tarps

  • Water

  • Non-Perishable Snacks

  • Bread

  • Peanut Butter

  • Flashlights

  • Hand Sanitizer

  • Towels

  • Feminine Products

  • Coloring Books & Pencils

    These items can be donated at:

  • The Community Resource Center located at 218 Omohundro Place

  • Cross Point Church of Bellevue located at 7675 Us-70S, Nashville, TN 37221

  • Second Harvest Food Bank at 331 Great Circle Road

If you’d like to donate money visit cmft.org or unitedway.org, any amount counts!

If you are in Nashville & are still in need of shelter or provisions there are shelters & food available at the following locations:

  • Centennial Sportsplex (222 25th Ave N)

  • East Magnet School (110 Gallatin Ave.)

  • Bridgestone Arena

  • American Legion Post 82 (3204 Gallatin Pike)

  • Cookeville Community Center (240 Carlson Drive)

  • Inner Light Yoga (2227 10th Ave S)

    Resource Hubs can be found at:

  • Eastland Funeral Home-Food at Noon (904 Gallatin Ave)

  • Zeal Church (5807 Charlotte Pike)

  • Lee Chapel AME Church (1200 Dr. DB Todd Jr. Blvd)

  • Victory Baptist Church (1777 Tate Lane)

Uhaul is offering 30 days of free self storage to displaced residents.

The following East Nashville Restaurants are offering Free Food and/or Coffee:

  • Five Daughters Bakery

  • Nicolettos

  • Cafe Roze

  • Retrograde Coffee

  • Brightside Bakeshop

  • Bongo East

  • Grilled Cheeserie at Hunter’s Station

I have no doubt Nashville will come out the other side of this a stronger community than the already thriving one that existed here. It won’t be without its scars but I truly do believe in you Nashville. I believe in your incredible strength, endurance, & resilience. Fight on, love one another, & please do everything in your power to help each other.

I Believe In Nashville