Transgender

Blog: How Long Before You Say “Tennessee Ya" To Tennessee?

Cheeky title aside this post does require a bit of a trigger warning. It’s also probably worth noting that all points & facts here within are valid & true especially regarding laws & events, that’s not to say they won’t include my own feelings about them.

Thanks.

Trigger Warning: Homophobic/Transphobic Language, Suicide, Fascism, & Racism

If you’re not a Tennessee resident you may have missed just how awful the last month & specifically the last 24 hours have been for marginalized groups here, especially where the LGBTQ & Black communities are concerned. Within the last 24 hours Tennessee’s drag ban has been signed, the bill that bans parents from supporting gender affirming care for their trans children was signed, a Republican house member advocated for the legalization of lynching, & a banner appeared off the highway over Chestnut Street in Nashville praising Bill Lee, our horrid governor, for “tirelessly working to fight trannies & fags” saying “we must secure the existence of our people & future for white children” with a massive picture of Tennessee brandishing a swastika. To say that yesterday was defeating for a lot of us would be an understatement.

A lot of this has been an ongoing fight for the last month or so, we all waited with bated breath to see if these bills would pass the Tennessee house & then the senate, & of course, they did despite the innumerable logical arguments put in place to oppose their existence. It also feels like the first in what will undoubtably be a long string of human rights violations aimed at those who fall within the LGBTQ community coming out of Tennessee. I want to break each of these down a little so that they’re understood & can be recognized for what they are; hateful, targeted, bigoted laws.

The TN Drag Ban, which goes into effect on July 1st, 2023, will make it a felony for anyone to be dressed for performance in the “clothing opposite their biological gender” within a public space. This includes, but is not limited to, drag, any performance containing gender swapped characters (Hairspray, Ms Doubtfire, Tootsie), trans performers, & cosplay. The law makes it so that any performance containing said features must be labeled as 18+ content & anyone caught performing outside of this regulation will receive a federal sex offender charge. The law also reclassifies the art of drag as burlesque & requires establishments that support it to reapply for their license under, essentially the same business blanket as a strip club. This will cause any bar, brunch, or other location who continues hosting drag brunches & the like to relinquish their liquor license in favor of creating inclusive spaces for all people. This bill also throws into question what is to be done for performances such as Shakespeare or, as aforementioned, Ms Doubtfire & Hairspray, both of which have tour stops at TPAC in 2024. Additionally it bars drag performers from pride events going forward & throws in questions regarding the safety & legality of those within the trans community. Additionally the wording in the bill itself is incredibly vague, which is no doubt intentional.

Let’s bounce one sentence back & let’s move into the gender affirming care ban.

The second law that was signed on the desk of the repugnant Bill Lee yesterday was that which prevents parents & medical providers from providing their children with gender affirming care. This means that if a child, teen, what have you comes to their parents & says ‘I believe in my heart of hearts that I was born the wrong gender,’ that their parents are now legally bound to do nothing. They can’t provide their child with counseling that would help them to understand & move forward in their desired identity, they can’t advocate for their child in a medical sense regarding anything around their desired gender, they are limited, essentially, in what they can now legally do as parents to support their child who is already going through probably one of the most difficult times in their life under the threat of felony charges. Medical personal can no longer take steps towards assisting trans youth in any regard that affirms their new identity. What this will result in is even more of what the south is facing post abortion bans where finding doctors & nurses is becoming fairly impossible. Additionally it will cause the suicide rates of those effected, trans youth, to sky rocket. Though I would assume that’s no skin off of these legislator’s backs.

I’m going to circle back to the capital punishment discussion within the TN house yesterday since I think the first two points & the last, the banner, are all within the same line of thought & the banner was in direct response to Bill signing the two bills into law.

This banner, which I explained the contents of above, is not the first neo-nazi sentiment we’ve had come out of this state in the last 24 hours, nor is it the only one pointed at the LGBTQ community. Additionally it was discovered that a neo-nazi group & local resident, Tonya Holley, who is also a member of the Daughters of the Confederacy, have put together a “hit list” of members of the LGBTQ living within Pulaski, TN. Pulaski also happens to be the founding place of the KKK. These individuals & the associated list have already been reported to Homeland Security but that hasn’t stopped members of the local government from requesting “legitiment names” of LGBTQ city members so that they can run them through the registered sex offender list, in spite of several members of the city counsel being well established members of the offender list in question.

Another item on the docket of the current Tennessee Congress has been capital punishment & reimplementing it specifically using firing squads & hangings. One member of the house, Paul Sherrell, argued that lynching should also be amended into the bill & should be legalized within the state despite having recently been outlawed nationwide. This legislator is the same who openly submitted a bill to change the name of Representative John Lewis Way to Donald Trump Way & apparently has never been shy or coy about his feelings towards the black members of the state of Tennessee.

All of this happened in a day. One singular day. And while the laws may have been coming down the pipeline for a while, the implementation & aggressive response to their implementation has all happened within the span of 24 hours. It’s gotten so bad that I’ve had people texting me asking if I need to move, to leave my home, which I am an owner of, & move to somewhere more progressive, While I don’t exactly think I’m there yet, I’m beginning to wonder what will be the straw that breaks the camels back for me? What will it take to dip out of this backwards ass state & its hateful legislators who have far more to be concerned about than stripping people of their rights. Maybe let’s focus on the 1/4th of all people living below the poverty line? Maybe let’s focus on how we’re in the 80th percentile for child & maternity mortality rates, or how we have one of the worst healthcare & education systems in the entire country. Maybe, just maybe, we should focus on the things that improve people’s lives instead of those that hinder them. Maybe we should figure out a way to get the 60+% of registered voters within the state who didn’t show up to vote for the midterms, the governor race, the state congressional race, to vote.

I don’t know what will be the last straw for me, truly I don’t, but I am so beyond sick & tired of hearing this “it’s just as bad on both sides” of the aisle argument when there is one clear group stripping rights, targeting marginalized groups, endangering Americans, destroying our futures & our planet, ostracizing people, flagrantly cheating to get ahead at the polls, damaging people’s lives, & encouraging hate groups while the other side of the aisle seeks to protect this nation & all of its people. These two things are not the same & never will be. For the 380+ bills introduced just these past three months that strip LGBTQ rights I would challenge anyone to find a single one that limits the rights of those on the opposite side of the fence. They don’t exist. This culture war is costing real human beings their lives over a completely fabricated enemy. We are not groomers. I am not a groomer, none of my LGBTQ friends are groomers nor have they ever been. What we are is uncles, aunts, siblings, sons, daughters, neighbors, coworkers, tax payers, employers, etc, etc, etc just trying to live our lives in peace. No one is taking the rights or the right away but they’re damn sure taking away the rights of those they’ve decided are “the enemy.”

I hope you have a great week or weekend, whenever you end up giving this a read.

And as always, much love to you all,

-C

Blog: Well If It Isn't The Consequences Of My Own Actions...

TW: Transphobic Comments, Anti-LGBTQ Rhetoric, Strong Language

If you aren’t a listener of country music or if you don’t pay attention to news cycles, the events of the last week may have completely missed you. If you’re reading that first line going “yeah, I don’t have a clue what you could be alluding to,” allow me to fill you in. Failed artist & second wife to country singer (a gracious title at best) Jason Aldean, Brittany Aldean, posted something regarding trans/LGBTQ kids & in which she referred to the plight of trans kids & their desire for gender affirmation comparing it to a “tom boy phase” & being “glad he parents didn’t change her gender” when she went through it. To which the conservative side of the country industry all started pilling in on, her husband Jason even going so far as to say “yeah, I don’t think we would have worked out.”

Cassadee Pope called her out on twitter with the following tweet:

Maren Morris then joined in on the rhetoric & tweeted the following:

To which Fox News pundit & overall really atrocious human Candace Owens replied:

The two then went back & forth giving the following exchange:

“Artists” like Aldean & RaeLynn also begin sharing their support for Brittany’s remarks along with the wife of one hit wonder, Chuck Wicks, & Whitney Duncan.

Later country artist, Ryan Hurd, & subsequent husband to Morris also weighed in tweeting the following:

And round & round it went including RaeLynn spending a bachelorette weekend toting a “Daddy T” hat & owning the moniker of ‘Insurrection Barbie,” Aldean & Wicks dropping a fundraiser for victims of child trafficking through the sale of shirts that said “Don’t Tread On Our Kids” of which only part of the proceeds went to the charity in question, & Maren posting a reel of a speech she gave live at a show the evening of the happenings stating the following:

So why bring this all up? Why dedicate an entire blog to this infighting within the country music world? Well, because for once, there were consequences for the actions of those involved.

It’s not hard to guess what side of this argument I fall on. I struggle to find a member of my friend group & chosen family who do not belong to the Alphabet Mafia. I also want to make it clear that I’m not over here trying to be divisive or throw my hat into the ring where this argument is concerned, I want to highlight a point here & in actuality, maybe help bridge the wide ass political gap this country has at the moment.

Yesterday it was announced the GreenLight Publicity Firm, a firm that has worked with Jason for the entirety of his career will be dropping Aldean as a client, due to the harmful narrative that he & his wife helped to perpetuate this week. Now before you start going all “cancel culture this” & “cancel culture that” & “they’re trying to silence us” & “blah, blah, blah” let’s pause & examine shall we?

I have no issue with being politically opposed where issues of state & finance are concerned. I’m fine to sit down & have a conversation with someone who swings right about how we as a country spend our money or the advantages & disadvantages of certain social services, etc, etc. However, where the divide in this country has materialized is not about policy any longer, I will say in this instance the MAGA crowd is correct, it’s about morality only there within the Far Right lives a fallacy built on blame, name calling, & division. We are no longer voting along the lines of policy, we are voting along the lines of morality, & morality & human rights are not up for debate.

I don’t know if you as a reader have ever struggled with being a societal “other;” whether you’re BIPOC, or Queer, or an immigrant, or any combination of the above, it’s hard simply getting by day to day. It is no easy feat for a young individual to come to the conclusion that they are trans or non-binary. It is no easy feat to outwardly choose to expose & express yourself as a member of the “other” knowing full well you may face the ire of those who view themselves “morally opposed” to who you are as a person & human being. There in lies the line we as a society, are fortunately, starting to draw.

Things were bleak in the states for a while during the years of Trump especially for those in the societal minorities. I’m sure if you’re a long time reader of mine you can not the point when I stopped feeling the need to constantly report on the harmful policies being put in place. For those of us who exist on the fringe the last couple years have started to feel more & more hopeful, after four years of dread.

Along with this hope, especially in the last year or so, has come a return in what is becoming more or less socially acceptable & the morality of The US as a country has swung back more in the direction of progress & inclusivity as opposed to scapegoating & fear mongering. With this uptick in “um, that’s not okay” has also come the natural progression of people like Aldean seeing the consequences that hateful, ignorant comments will land you. Have a lot of his fanbase doubled down? Of course, it’s hard to change a mind through a news cycle but it is refreshing to see, especially in country music, someone get chastised for the harmful things they perpetuate & outwardly endorse.

I’ve never identified as a trans individual, I’ve have never felt any inkling that I was born in the wrong body, so I can’t imagine how hard of an identity that is to come to terms with. I’m sure a lot of you reading this fall in that boat as well, but imagine you’ve wrestled with who you are for the entirety of your life & finally have the clarity & peace of mind to express that outwardly. I can’t imagine what an uphill battle it must be just getting through the day to day with the filth people spew at you just for trying to claim your happiness & wholeness. I can’t imagine simply wanting to use a restroom & being assaulted both physically & verbally for it. I can’t imagine posting a picture where you finally see the person you’ve always known you were underneath & having people accost you over the internet. I simply cannot imagine it because it is outside of anything within my field of experience but I empathize with you. I stand with you. I recognize your struggle & am here to be whatever you need me to be.

We as a country, as a world, are sorely lacking empathy. We get so caught up in the “me, me, me’s” that we lose sight of the “us.” I’m glad these ignorant comments & harmful policies are no longer going unchecked. It’s how we build a world that is more inclusive & supportive of everyone, not just those who look, act, sound, & identify like us.

I’m sorry for the late posting on this, the jet lag really did me in this weekend but if you’d like to donate to help trans youth across the country Maren Morris is currently selling shirts where 100% of the proceeds go to the Trans Lifeline & the GLAAD Trans Media Project. I’ll post the link about it below:

As always I hope you’ve had a fantastic weekend, much love to each of you. I challenge you this week to lean into your discomfort, to sit down & hear or read the story of someone whose life is on the societal fringe. Then I challenge you to find that glowing ember of empathy in your heart.

-C

I feel called to finish this off with a quote from the late Billy Block who would always close out his radio segment with “Remember, if you see someone without a smile, give them yours.”

Have a great holiday weekend!

Blog: Come On Florida & Texas, Just Say Gay.

As of today, February 25th, 2022, the “Don’t Say Gay” Bill has officially passed with a vote of 69-47 in Florida. Additionally Governor Abbott of Texas has begun instructing Child Protective Services to investigate the parents of any child identifying as Trans under the penalty of “child abuse.” None of this is even to mention the atrocities being carried out in Ukraine, Poland, Yemen, Syria, or Somalia. In short, today feels heavy.

I had initially planned to write about “Eating Disorder Awareness Week,” which it currently is & my personal struggles with body dysmorphia & vilifying certain foods but I felt called to write less about my personal experiences & more in regards to current events. Plus for those of you reading this that answered my poll, this topic won out by a long shot.

Let’s tackle Florida first shall we?

Don’t Say Gay or HB 1557, a bill proposed by Florida Representative, Joe Harding & backed by Florida Governor Ron DeSantis (boo, hiss), is a bill that prohibits the educating of students on all topics LGBTQ. The bill specifically outlines the complete illegality of discussing anything even remotely LGBTQ with children grades three & younger; including acknowledging their LGBTQ parents & limits the discussion of LGBTQ history or ideas in older classrooms based on whether or not it is deemed appropriate, something entirely up for the Florida Board of Education to decide. The bill also completely limits a teachers ability to be a mentor to any student struggling with the acceptance of their own gender identity or sexuality & was originally set to include a requirement for the “outing” of any student confiding in a teacher to their parents or guardians within six week of them learning of it. Luckily, that last bit didn’t pass.

Moreover, this bill further stigmatizes LGBTQ individuals & creates massive divides between the normalcy of who they are & what the Florida government qualifies as normal. It ostracizes any individual already struggling with the confusion of adolescence & sequesters them to the possibilities of further hopelessness or feelings that they are other than or not worthy of being recognized by society. The bill not only alienates but outwardly discriminates against the freedom these youths should have for self expression & throws a major wrench in the quintessential years that lead to understanding of who they are.

This time in each of our lives is pivotal not only where identity is concerned but also in the foundations of mental health. According to a recent survey conducted by the Trevor Project an average of 42% of LGBTQ youth have seriously considered taking their own lives or have actively attempted to do so. More than half of all nonbinary & trans identify youth have stated the same. Those who identify as LBGTQ also have much higher rates of depression & anxiety, primarily linked to feelings of isolation, repression, & lack of self worth.

Let’s set statistics aside for a second & do a bit of imagining shall we? Imagine the script has been flipped. Imagine instead of LGBTQ students being targeted it’s those who identify as CIS/Hetero. Imagine not being able to talk about your straight parents or relatives. Imagine not being able to express your romantic feelings, your attractions, etc. Imagine not being able to identify as He/Him/His or She/Her/Hers or even discuss the omission. Imagine not being able to consume any media, books, educational films, etc., that featured anything remotely CIS/Hetero. Imagine not being able to learn about important historical figures who were straight or binary. Do you get it now?

This bill is not endemic to Florida alone. There are currently as many as 20 states with anti-LGBTQ curriculum bills in the US & that number is growing rapidly. LGBTQ hate crimes are also on the rise & in the wake of Pulse, the second largest mass shooting in US history, you would think Florida, specifically, would have wised up by now. The argument being made here is that “parents must have a seat at the table for what’s going on in schools” & I personally couldn't disagree more. I’m elated, no offense M&D, that my parents didn’t have a direct say in what I learned in school.

Now. Texas. Ooooooh Texas, what shall we do with you?….

On Tuesday Governor Abbott, the bag of slimy, pustulated dog shit that he is (that’s not an opinion, it’s factual), announced that he will be calling for all licensed officials & members of the general public to report parents of transgender minors so that the state can investigate them for child abuse. Child. Abuse. The radical transphobic move is not a first for Abbott who last year failed to pass legislation making it a felony for physicians, doctors, therapists, & teacher to provide gender affirming care to minors. The bill would have filed felony charges under the physical & sexual abuse categories. Under the current orders not only will child abuse charges be inflicted upon the parents & guardians of trans youth but also any doctor, nurse, teacher, therapists, etc. who refused to report a child’s gender affirming parents.

Five district attorneys have already spoken out in defiance of the order, refusing to prosecute those who are reported. DA’s cite the unconstitutional nature of the bill as well as HIPAA as their reasonings aside from the blatant discrimination happening here.

Trans activists within the state say they are beginning to fear Abbott’s personal trans-phobic tendencies are leaking into the general public & reverting years of progress. They also fear that the rhetoric being presented to non-gender conforming minors it that the Texas government would rather see them dead than recognize them for who they truly really are.

I know this week’s blog was full of a lot of heavy stuff, but I felt it was important. We can’t ignore the issues of the marginalized just because they don’t effect us or play into our personal lives. We have to stop electing officials who paint targets on the backs of minorities simply because of their own misgivings & embrace a society that allows ample opportunity for love & acceptance to all of its citizens, not just those it has personally labeled as desirable.

I hope you each have a great weekend, I know things seem bleak right now but it’s worth fighting for a better world. Persevere on, treat one another with kindness & empathy, make new friends & acquaintances who live completely different lives from you, listen to them, put yourself in their shoes!

Much love to you all,

C

Blog: Do We Still Need Pride Month?

How is it already the end of June?! How has 2021 flown by so quickly?!

At the beginning of the month I knew I wanted to, at the very least, write something about Pride Month, seeing how June is Pride Month. So, I guess, why not make it the last blog of the month? I was wracking my brain over & over searching for what I wanted to write about this year as I usually do some form of Pride post in the month of June. Did I mention it’s the month of June & it’s also Pride Month? Sorry haha, just feel like I’ve said that a lot in my first couple lines of this blog. Anywho, back to it. I was struck by this idea for a blog post when I came across the comments section of the CMT Pride Playlist on the godless wasteland we all know as Facebook along with a slurry of hateful individual posing the question “why do they still need a Pride Month?” Their rationale being that “they got their right to legally wed” along with, of course, “there’s no straight pride month.” Vom. The post is hyperlinked if you’d like to go read the rest of these truly distasteful humans’ comments or if you just want to listen to the playlist itself. This blatant ignorance got me thinking though, do we still need an LGBTQ+ Pride Month? I mean it’s not like, though it should be more so, it shines a light on LGBTQIA+ history? So, should pride month still exist as a form of visibility for members of the alphabet mafia, after all, marriage equality is the law of the land. But then after the smallest fraction of a nanosecond I immediately landed on the answer being “of course we do.”

People who are members of the LGBTQIA+ community are still, in terms of rights & opportunity, considered second class citizens in this country we call the United States. That’s not to even mention the atrocities they face around the world by simply being who they are or loving who they love. They are disproportionately discriminated against, attacked, brutalized, rejected, marginalized, & forced to the sidelines of society when compared to their CIS gendered, heterosexual peers; especially when it comes to transgender people of color. I think all too often, at least outside of the community, the perception is that the battle is over, the fight has been won but I’d argue it’s just getting started.

Let’s take Arizona for example. In 1991 the state made it illegal for any teacher to promote LGBTQ+ “propaganda.” That meant anything from same sex education, to expressions of gender identity, to even the acknowledgement of certain historical figures being a member of the community. This wasn’t even the full extent of the law though. Say a student was struggling with their identity in any form other than heteronormativity. If they were to go to one of their teachers & ask for advice or assistance & the teacher offered any form of advice other than “talk to your parents” or anyone other than me & they were caught doing so they would be fined upwards of $5,000 dollars & have their teaching license called into question just for trying to be helpful or offer mentorship to a struggling student. Fortunately, that law has since been eradicated though that hasn’t stopped Arizona law makers from trying to implement similar laws in its place. As recent as April of this year a motion was put into effect to try & make it illegal for any school to teach about anything the government deemed even remotely LGBTQ+. This included historical figures, events, mention anything about gender expression or sexuality outside the CIS/Hetero. It also, unsurprisingly, included lessons about the HIV/AIDs epidemic unless all students involved had signed consent from their parent or guardian. (link) Sounds just like a diet version of the previous law.

I’m sure some of you are going to make the argument in favor of that policy since “students should be learning at school, not exploring their identity” but adolescence is the time in most of our lives in which we call our identities into question. The “who am I” of it all becomes a constant part of middle & high school life & if you don’t have a way to investigate that or ask even the most innocent of questions without feeling like who you are is unworthy of societal recognition then that can lead down some dark hallways.

Let’s talk stats:

90% of LGBTQ+ students reported hearing anti-LGBTQ+ slurs on a daily basis in their schools. Most saying they average hearing around 23 a day.

Around 28% of all LGBTQ+ identifying students end up dropping out of school due to harassment, not only from their peers.

About a quarter of LGB youth report having been physically assaulted because of their sexuality, a higher average of around half of any trans students say the same.

An astonishing 3/4ths of trans students reported having been sexually harassed simply because of their gender identity.

LGBTQ+ youth are twice as likely to abuse drugs or alcohol as compared to their CIS/Het peers.

Anywhere from 20-40% of queer youth have reported homelessness at one time or another though it is thought that number may be much higher.

(link)

Let’s look outside of schools shall we?

We all remember the trans military ban of 2017 right? Sounds like equality winning out to me. What about in 2019 when the previous administration made an attempt that allowed insurances to legally deny an individual coverage simply based on gender expression. In addition to being a massive blow to the transgender & non-binary folks living in this country, it also would have allowed doctors to deny care to anyone with an LGBTQ+ identity. (link) I angry wrote an entire blog post about this that I ended up never posting, I can still see it sitting in my drafts out of the corner of my eye as I write this. The crazy thing is, these two movements barely scratch the surface of the damage the previous administration did or attempted to do to the queer community at large! Here’s a full list if you’d like…(link) Fortunately a lot of these measures have been reversed by the current administration, though not all of them.

Let’s talk more stats:

LGBTQ+ suicides account for 30% of all suicide deaths.

Greater than 50% of those identifying as transgender say they have at one time or another attempted suicide.

1/5th of all LGBTQ+ individuals report having experienced hiring discrimination with people of color reporting a higher number of 2/5ths.

Around 46% of all LGBTQ+ members aren’t out to their coworkers work mostly in fear of discrimination in one way or another from their peers as well as higher ups.

(link)

But it can’t all be bad can it? Well luckily, no! According to a recent survey, Gen-Z is the queerest generation we’ve ever seen, at least from an honest statistical standpoint. According to a 2021 Gallup poll roughly 15% of all Gen-Z-ers polled identified as LGBTQ+ in one way or another, sometimes multiple! It seems the more recent we go generationally, the more people are willing to express their true selves openly & authentically with the Millennial statistic being about 1 in 10. (link) Another beautiful thing happening is that more & more fortune 500 companies are beginning to cater to the needs of their queer staff with around 91% actively making positive changes to their discrimination policies in regards to LGBTQ+ matters, another 53% offering benefits for civil unions, & 65% offering transgender inclusive healthcare plans, and these numbers are rapidly climbing!

So I ask you. Do we still need Pride Month? Do you think the course has been corrected enough to warrant a stall in the fight for equal rights or do you think, like me, that there is still a long, long way to go. I’d like to issue you a small challenge. I’d like you to be a little bit of introspection here & look at how you treat you LGBTQIA+ peers. Is it the same as how you treat your CIS gendered or heterosexual friends? If not, what can you change? Are you as an employer doing what you need to do to be inclusive? Are you as a parent, as a friend, as a sibling doing enough? I want you to look at yourself honestly & answer that question. Are you electing individuals who enact policies that harm marginalized communities such as these? Are you treating all of your neighbors with the love, respect, & decency they deserve or are you stabbing them in the back behind closed doors, from the other side of a keyboard, or in the polling station? I seriously want you to ask yourself these things, to get your ego out of the way, to got the “what about me” out of the way & open your eyes to what is actually happening in the world around you. I didn’t even make a dent in the hindrances of freedom for members of the queer community here, mostly because I wanted to focus on the US, where it is currently Pride Month. I’d advise you to do your own research, to go into these comment sections & see for yourself because if you willingly turn a blind eye to the suffering of others how is that coming from a place of love?

I’ll leave you with one last bit, brought to you by the weapon most used against those in the LGBTQ+ community:

“Truly I tell you, whatever you do unto the least of those among you, you have done unto me.”
— Mark 25: 40

Happy Pride Everyone! Be proud of who you are & the path that led you here! Keep fighting the good fight & know that love is always the answer.

-C

Blog: Pride Month, Straight Pride, & Being an LGBTQ+ Ally

First off…

HAPPY PRIDE!!!!!

Whether you’re gay, lesbian, bisexual, transexual, asexual, omnisexual, demisexual, pansexual, queer, non-binary, gender fluid, questioning, a straight ally, or any other identity under the LGBTQ+ mantle; Happy Pride!!!

For those of you that don’t know, June is Pride Month, a month of the year where we shift the lens to focus on those members of our society & our history that are/were LGBTQ+. Pride month exists to draw attention to the marginalized, not to boast one sexuality being greater than another. Pride month exists as a time for celebrating what makes us different, what makes us human, what binds us all; love, or rather love in all of its forms. It also exists as a tool for helping to educate the ignorant & normalize other types of sexualities & genders other than straight or cis. The goal of pride is to show that we don’t live in a world that’s black & white, we live in a world that is a rainbow of millions of different lifestyles & ways to love. Pride month not only is meant as a way to celebrate our differences but is also a way to celebrate the love that we all are capable of sharing & the acceptance we all desire to have.

Now, this year, like most years, there’s a huge push for a “straight pride month” or a “straight pride parade” which I find absolutely ridiculous. For starters, no one is stopping you from attending pride. No where on any LGBTQ+ organization will you find “straights not allowed” (the same can’t be said for the inverse) because again, pride is all about inclusion. The LGBTQ+ community actually encourages straight allies; people within the societal normal that affirm members of the LGBTQ+ community that they are not alone, that they have value to society, that they are deserving of love & acceptance. The main reason that straight pride is insanity is the fact that being straight does not come with the fear of persecution, it does not come with the fear of being beaten on the street for holding your partner’s hand, it does not come with the fear of losing your job when your boss finds out your sexual orientation, it does not come with the fear of being ostracized by your friends & family, it does not come with the fear of “I love you, but,” it does not come with the fear of being kicked out or shut out because you’re different. Being straight is, and has been for thousands of years, the societal norm. That’s changing, slowly, but straight is still, as they say, “the default.” Straight pride is unnecessary, illogical, & if I’m being honest a downright pathetic attempt to reclaim what is believed to be lost ground. Love wins y’all. Love always wins.

To The Allies:

I want to shift my attention back to being an ally for a second because I know there are quite a lot of people out there that identify themselves as straight LGBTQ+ allies but wear that label with conditions, accepting LGBTQ+ friends & family members, but only to a certain extent. Claiming acceptance & showing acceptance & the unconditional love that comes with it are two very different things. You cannot be accepting of someone you love & ask them to hide who they are or deny themselves in public in fear it would reflect badly upon you. You cannot be accepting of someone you love & not use their chosen name or pronouns. You cannot be accepting of someone you love & claim their sexuality is just a phase or that they’re too young to know. You cannot be accepting of someone you love & wish that down the road they would revert to the person you trained yourself to believe they were. You cannot be accepting of someone you love & not stand in solidarity with them when hate comes knocking at their door. You cannot be accepting of someone you love & then actively vote for those that would harm or put into place legislation that would undermine their rights to love whomever they chose or be whoever they want to be. Just because you don’t cut the people off you claim to love does not mean you accept them, it does not mean you are an ally. Just because you don’t kick out your kid or stop talking to your friend or spew hate back at them doesn’t mean you’re accepting of them. Not hating someone or isolating them should not be the standard for acceptance. Acceptance is embracing what makes them different, it’s taking the time to educate yourself on topics you may be completely oblivious to but you do so because you love that person. Acceptance is taking people at their word & trusting that they’re living their true self. Acceptance is asking people about their relationships in an open & interested way, it’s taking an interest in the person they love & putting in effort to form a bond. Acceptance is driving them to their doctors visits, being a pillar of encouragement & strength through their transition, & loving their new identity whole heartedly. It is your job as an LGBTQ+ ally to be a beacon of love in a world that so often hates them not to tell them to act straighter or conform to the societal norm.

To The LGBTQ+ Community:

To those who pray to God every night begging to have your identity taken away, I stand in solidarity with you.

To those that feel like their family’s “dirty little secret,” like your identity or who you love gets swept under the rug, I stand in solidarity with you.

To those living on the street because the people that claimed to love you wouldn’t accept you, I stand in solidarity with you.

To those that feel like they’ll never be able to live their true self, I stand in solidarity with you.

To those who are fighting with feeling like they have to choose their family & friends or themselves, I stand in solidarity with you.

To those who are picked on, bullied, rejected, fired, assaulted, or abused just because you’re different, I stand in solidarity with you.

To those trying desperately to shift self loathing into love, I stand in solidarity with you.

To those hesitant to drape the pride flag around their shoulders in fear of physical or emotional violence, I stand in solidarity with you.

To those that feel the world has turned its back on them, I stand in solidarity with you.

To those that never feel like they’ve been represented properly in media, I stand in solidarity with you.

To those desperately searching for love & acceptance, I stand in solidarity with you.

To the millions of marginalized humans around the globe, I stand in solidarity with you.

To the millions that would rather die than be who they are, I stand in solidarity with you.

To the outcasts, the unwanted, the rebels, the dreamer.

To the different, the beautiful, the unique, the defiant.

To the marchers, the activists, the lovers, the fighters.

I stand in solidarity with you.

Love is love. Love will always win. Keep pushing on, keep being strong, & keep fighting for a better tomorrow.

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