Blog: Well If It Isn't The Consequences Of My Own Actions...

TW: Transphobic Comments, Anti-LGBTQ Rhetoric, Strong Language

If you aren’t a listener of country music or if you don’t pay attention to news cycles, the events of the last week may have completely missed you. If you’re reading that first line going “yeah, I don’t have a clue what you could be alluding to,” allow me to fill you in. Failed artist & second wife to country singer (a gracious title at best) Jason Aldean, Brittany Aldean, posted something regarding trans/LGBTQ kids & in which she referred to the plight of trans kids & their desire for gender affirmation comparing it to a “tom boy phase” & being “glad he parents didn’t change her gender” when she went through it. To which the conservative side of the country industry all started pilling in on, her husband Jason even going so far as to say “yeah, I don’t think we would have worked out.”

Cassadee Pope called her out on twitter with the following tweet:

Maren Morris then joined in on the rhetoric & tweeted the following:

To which Fox News pundit & overall really atrocious human Candace Owens replied:

The two then went back & forth giving the following exchange:

“Artists” like Aldean & RaeLynn also begin sharing their support for Brittany’s remarks along with the wife of one hit wonder, Chuck Wicks, & Whitney Duncan.

Later country artist, Ryan Hurd, & subsequent husband to Morris also weighed in tweeting the following:

And round & round it went including RaeLynn spending a bachelorette weekend toting a “Daddy T” hat & owning the moniker of ‘Insurrection Barbie,” Aldean & Wicks dropping a fundraiser for victims of child trafficking through the sale of shirts that said “Don’t Tread On Our Kids” of which only part of the proceeds went to the charity in question, & Maren posting a reel of a speech she gave live at a show the evening of the happenings stating the following:

So why bring this all up? Why dedicate an entire blog to this infighting within the country music world? Well, because for once, there were consequences for the actions of those involved.

It’s not hard to guess what side of this argument I fall on. I struggle to find a member of my friend group & chosen family who do not belong to the Alphabet Mafia. I also want to make it clear that I’m not over here trying to be divisive or throw my hat into the ring where this argument is concerned, I want to highlight a point here & in actuality, maybe help bridge the wide ass political gap this country has at the moment.

Yesterday it was announced the GreenLight Publicity Firm, a firm that has worked with Jason for the entirety of his career will be dropping Aldean as a client, due to the harmful narrative that he & his wife helped to perpetuate this week. Now before you start going all “cancel culture this” & “cancel culture that” & “they’re trying to silence us” & “blah, blah, blah” let’s pause & examine shall we?

I have no issue with being politically opposed where issues of state & finance are concerned. I’m fine to sit down & have a conversation with someone who swings right about how we as a country spend our money or the advantages & disadvantages of certain social services, etc, etc. However, where the divide in this country has materialized is not about policy any longer, I will say in this instance the MAGA crowd is correct, it’s about morality only there within the Far Right lives a fallacy built on blame, name calling, & division. We are no longer voting along the lines of policy, we are voting along the lines of morality, & morality & human rights are not up for debate.

I don’t know if you as a reader have ever struggled with being a societal “other;” whether you’re BIPOC, or Queer, or an immigrant, or any combination of the above, it’s hard simply getting by day to day. It is no easy feat for a young individual to come to the conclusion that they are trans or non-binary. It is no easy feat to outwardly choose to expose & express yourself as a member of the “other” knowing full well you may face the ire of those who view themselves “morally opposed” to who you are as a person & human being. There in lies the line we as a society, are fortunately, starting to draw.

Things were bleak in the states for a while during the years of Trump especially for those in the societal minorities. I’m sure if you’re a long time reader of mine you can not the point when I stopped feeling the need to constantly report on the harmful policies being put in place. For those of us who exist on the fringe the last couple years have started to feel more & more hopeful, after four years of dread.

Along with this hope, especially in the last year or so, has come a return in what is becoming more or less socially acceptable & the morality of The US as a country has swung back more in the direction of progress & inclusivity as opposed to scapegoating & fear mongering. With this uptick in “um, that’s not okay” has also come the natural progression of people like Aldean seeing the consequences that hateful, ignorant comments will land you. Have a lot of his fanbase doubled down? Of course, it’s hard to change a mind through a news cycle but it is refreshing to see, especially in country music, someone get chastised for the harmful things they perpetuate & outwardly endorse.

I’ve never identified as a trans individual, I’ve have never felt any inkling that I was born in the wrong body, so I can’t imagine how hard of an identity that is to come to terms with. I’m sure a lot of you reading this fall in that boat as well, but imagine you’ve wrestled with who you are for the entirety of your life & finally have the clarity & peace of mind to express that outwardly. I can’t imagine what an uphill battle it must be just getting through the day to day with the filth people spew at you just for trying to claim your happiness & wholeness. I can’t imagine simply wanting to use a restroom & being assaulted both physically & verbally for it. I can’t imagine posting a picture where you finally see the person you’ve always known you were underneath & having people accost you over the internet. I simply cannot imagine it because it is outside of anything within my field of experience but I empathize with you. I stand with you. I recognize your struggle & am here to be whatever you need me to be.

We as a country, as a world, are sorely lacking empathy. We get so caught up in the “me, me, me’s” that we lose sight of the “us.” I’m glad these ignorant comments & harmful policies are no longer going unchecked. It’s how we build a world that is more inclusive & supportive of everyone, not just those who look, act, sound, & identify like us.

I’m sorry for the late posting on this, the jet lag really did me in this weekend but if you’d like to donate to help trans youth across the country Maren Morris is currently selling shirts where 100% of the proceeds go to the Trans Lifeline & the GLAAD Trans Media Project. I’ll post the link about it below:

As always I hope you’ve had a fantastic weekend, much love to each of you. I challenge you this week to lean into your discomfort, to sit down & hear or read the story of someone whose life is on the societal fringe. Then I challenge you to find that glowing ember of empathy in your heart.

-C

I feel called to finish this off with a quote from the late Billy Block who would always close out his radio segment with “Remember, if you see someone without a smile, give them yours.”

Have a great holiday weekend!

Blog: Hello Seasonal Depression, Welcome Back I Guess...

TW: Depression

I honestly can’t recall what my original plan was for today’s blog. I’m certain I had it burning in the back of my mind all day until I had this prompt come zipping in. I know a lot of you who read these weekly installments of my life & thoughts also suffer from mental maladies like myself but for those of you who don’t understand seasonal depression & the way if informs your life I wanted to share this simple story.

It’s incredibly hard to explain but I can feel when autumn starts to slip in, the air & sunlight shift from the bright warmth of summer to the almost artificial feeling of the late summer/early autumn sun. Again, hard to explain, but the tinge of sunlight shifts from a bright, clear all encompassing hot to an oddly indirect yellowed glow. There’s something different in the way the air smells too, it gains a mustiness & a stuffiness.

If you have seasonal depression you know exactly what I’m talking about because it exacts a sense of overwhelming dread. You try to ignore it, but you can feel it in your bones. You can feel the sun slipping farther away & feel the days begin to shrink.

I imagine it’s a lot like how plants feel. They follow the sun from Spring into Summer & then are forced to put a pause on all of the progress & growth they’ve made with the abundance of light & retreat into themselves to winterize.

If you don’t have seasonal depression I imagine you read the above three paragraphs with a “WTF” kind of expression on your face or images of lunacy in your head but those I know with the same affliction as me can attest to this.

Anyway, I felt the sun start to slip away about a week ago, at least that’s when it became noticeable to me internally. I remember I was running errands & was outside & it just hit me out of the blue. I managed to push past the sense of dread for the time being but then it hit me again a few days later, & again this afternoon.

The dread isn’t the depression part, the sense of foreboding does not automatically equate “seasonally depressed” that’s where the next step comes in.

I was walking through the freezer section of Sprouts today, picking up some Paleo hot pockets when my Depression Kitty came walking down the aisle (Big Mouth reference, if you get it, you get it). She strolled right up to my wrapped around my shoulders & dissolved into my body & immediately I wanted nothing more than to crawl into bed & not exist.

That’s more language that I’m sure is alarming to those with those blessed by the Serotonin Gods. When I say “crawl into bed & not exist” it has nothing to do with my will or lack of will to live, at least to me. I have no intentions of self harm, I just want to not exist, to dig a dark hole & lay in it for however long it takes. Again, I’m sure to a lot of you that sounds morbid but it’s the honest truth of how depression feels to me.

During depressive states I can lay wrapped up in bed doing absolutely nothing for hours. I don’t get bored or cry or anything, I simply lay & stare at the wall. I know it sounds SOOOOO productive to our Capitalist minds but existing in the void for a little while is what it is.

Do I wish I were different? That I wasn’t afflicted by it? Of course, but so do all who have to watch “normal” people live out there lives free of the hinderances of mental illness. It’s debilitating & the reason I write about it today is to help those of you who don’t understand to have a glimpse of what it’s like & for those of you that do, to know you have a kindred spirit in me who does understand.

One of the hardest things as someone who is both neuro-divergent & afflicted by SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder) is trying to make people who don’t have either understand what it’s like to be one of us. I have been blessed with the knowledge of words & the ability to convey things through them that I feel helps to put most of this in layman’s terms.

Being someone with SAD (so delicately named) can make you feel like an outsider, it can make you feel crazy, or truly detached from the world around you especially in Autumn & Early Winter. You are faced with a constant barrage of people who are so excited for the Fall or the Holidays; wearing sweaters, making soup, cozying up & you have to do your best not to let it hurt your feelings because to me & those like me, the colder months are a constant fight to keep your head above the surface, to not appear like a downer or an outsider. To people like me it often feels like celebrating the fall or winter is in some way celebrating the hardest time of the year from us & then rubbing it in our faces. Just like so many of you can’t relate to not loving all things autumn, we can’t relate to the feeling of liking it.

Let me be clear, this is not a “piss off, I don’t wanna hear about the things you like because they make me want to dissolve into a vapor,” type of post. I’m just trying to help you understand. I’m trying to help you see how your friends & loved ones who have SAD feel & maybe offer them a break or a little bit of patience.

Before I close out I know what the next line of this conversation will be; why don’t you get help? A lot of us do, myself included. During the cooler months my script for Bupropion switches from a base 150mg to 300 & that’s just to keep my head above water. There’s no simple answer to depression & what causes it & not every solution works for all of us. We still have days where just the act of getting out of bed is literally like hauling a piano up a flight of stairs even if you are medicated & at a healthy base line. Please be patient with us & know that even if we refuse your help, we always appreciate the ask. If you find yourself as someone who also finds the Earth’s gravity turned up to eleven during the cold, I see you & understand your pain. Help is out there & available, there are a ton of resources on line & many free clinics offered by civil services around the world. Don’t be afraid to ask for help, though I know how hard it can be at times.

Much love to you all as always,

Welcome to autumn I guess haha,

I’ll see you back here next week!

-C

Blog: Now You're Family

I swear this is my last blog about Fiji…unless you’d like it not to be, I’m sure I can squeeze another two or three stories & life lessons out of that amazing trip! For now I’ll leave you all with this blog in hopes that it leaves you as inspired & hopeful as the experience did me!

One thing I thing that ended up being very different from my expectation of Fiji was the reality of it. I think we’re often times, especially in the US, thought to view Fiji as the perpetual postcard; a place where no matter where you look you’ll find picturesque white sand beaches, palm trees, & crystal clear waters & while that does exist it is definitely an exception, not the rule.

Majority of the residents of Fiji live below, what we in the western world would deem, the poverty line. The housing of those who dwell on the islands often consist of tin roofed, one room homes with an outdoor kitchen & while I’m sure a lot of us would find this difficult, the Fijians don’t seem to let it dampen their spirits.

It’s true of a lot of tourism driven countries where the lives of those who were born & raised in said country live drastically different lives than what those visiting are presented with, it creates an odd disconnect. There’s a very odd feeling when you’ve spent x amount of dollars to fly halfway across the world, hop on a privately escorted shuttle service, & are being taken to a resort whose rooms are bigger than majority of the homes of those who reside there. It’s an odd disconnect when you’re met with something clearly meant to welcome visitors that often has an “off limits” feel to those whose country it is.

This is not the point of my blog, but I feel its worth mentioning in order to set the scene for what I want to talk about.

While riding in one of the aforementioned private escort shuttles to go river tubing I overheard a conversation between one of my fellow divers, Elaine, & our driver that day. Elaine had sat up front with the driver & the two had been talking for quite a while before he mentioned the following. He said to Elaine that even though the Fijians may not have the room or the food outright, there is always room at the table & room in the home for one more. That no matter how hard life appears they are always willing to sacrifice a little room or a little food for someone else. I soon found out this was a common feeling amongst the Fijian people.

I wish for the life of me I could remember our driver’s name that day, shame on me for forgetting the openness & outward kindness of a stranger, but he also mentioned that to Fijians, once you’ve been on to the islands once, you’re a part of them. He said that to his people each of us was now family & that at any given time their doors were open to us for as long as we wanted or needed.

Wouldn’t it be amazing if the rest of the world worked that way? Wouldn’t it be amazing if we all thought as such & acted as such? That no matter how hard things were for us, we always have the time & energy to embrace those who come knocking on our door & say “how can I help?”

You see it occurs to me that the people that have the most, the countries that have the most, are often the ones who are most cut off to helping their “family.” We were welcomed, graciously, into a home in a village with around twenty people. Asked to take a seat, to make ourselves comfortable, & were then offered a portion of the owner’s lunch. A lunch that he had to farm for six months to get to produce crop. He not only offered us up the portion, but the entirety of what he had to eat for that afternoon with a beaming smile & radiant joy! Why aren’t we all like that?

We, in the US, have so, so much. A lot of us do anyway. Yet we shut our hearts, homes, & borders off to those who desperately need to be welcomed, to be shown through the door, welcomed, & offered a plate & a seat at the table & if they are offered entry it’s usually with stipulations. You have to give your life to MY God, have to work towards MY system, have to do something for MY cause or life. Acts of kindness & support rarely come simply from the goodness of ones heart. We need to cut the divides, to cut the ego & the “I’m better than” attitudes, & proudly exclaim to those who come willingly to our door “now you’re family.”

I hope you have a fantastic weekend & find a little moment or two over the next week to make a stranger feel loved, even in the smallest capacity.

Much love to you all,

-C

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Travel Blog: Fiji: Part Two- Sharks, Kava, & A Leisurely Float Down A River

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Bula! Welcome back!

If you’re reading the above line & saying to yourself “welcome back?! To what?!” & if the giant “Part Two” in the title wasn’t clue enough there is a previous installment to this, my Fiji travel blog. If you haven’t given “Part One” a read I highly recommend you do so. I’ll attach the link to it below! Give that a read & swing back over here when you’re finished! Enjoy!

PART ONE

FIJI

PART TWO:

Day Five

Are we ready for it?! I know a lot of you who have been following this saga of travel were excited to get to today because today we’re talking about the SHARK DIVE!!!!!!

I did end up waking up at 6 AM to finish my vlogs as I mentioned I planned to do at the end of part one & I worked right up until 7 AM when it was time to once again descend the hill & eat breakfast. I chose to go back to Muesli that morning favoring something with a bit more variety to once again cross into the Beqa Passage seeing as my stomach had been fine the day prior. Not sure why I thought maybe it wouldn’t I’ve never been one who was prone to sea sickness. Our call time for the boat was fairly early as the dive site sat around forty-five minutes to an hour away from Waidorka.

A little background info on the shark dive site, Shark Reef Marine Reserve. Back before the site was declared a Marine Reserve by the government of Fiji it used to just be an ordinary strip of the Beqa Passage that fishermen would sure to drive from Suva or Pacific Harbor out to sea & fish. The fishermen, wanting to cut time from their required work load, would get to work gutting & cleaning their catch on the way back home for the night. During this time spent navigating the Beqa Passage the fishermen would dump the undesirable bits of fish of the boat into the water below. This naturally attracted sharks, which, over time, began to inhabit the Passage & congregate there because of the guaranteed meal. The Fijian government took notice of this & in an effort to increase tourism as well as lend a hand in shark conservation named a point in the passage as Shark Reef Marine Reserve. They sank several old boats there in an attempt to supplement the reef & give smaller, more reclusive species of sharks, spots to hide away, in addition to cutting some of the strong current so that divers wouldn’t simply be blown away while visiting. They also built what they deemed “The Arena.”

“The Arena” is a somewhat circular, sunken part of the reef. On the western edge of the arena the Fijian government has built a wall out of reef rock that sits about 2-3 feet high & goes the entire circumference of the western edge, beginning & ending on either end of the natural reef. In the middle of “The Arena” is a mooring site, however, this mooring site is not intended for boats, its intended use is to chain up a bin full of chum that will then be dumped into the arena once the day’s divers are in place, triggering a shark feeding frenzy. Some people have mixed feelings about “The Arena” & feel that it hinders the natural flow of the eco system causing the sharks to be dependent upon humans for food & allowing the fish populations to grow unchecked because the sharks don’t have to put out the energy to hunt them.

On the way out to the site Jodi informed us that unfortunately the reserve was only able to get a single bin of chum for the day. Typically they bring in two, one for each dive & you get to experience the madness twice but apparently the fishing boats came in light the night before & only had enough to fill one bin. The new plan was to dive the wrecks around the reef, then the reserve worker would bring in the one bin of food they had & essentially parade it around “The Arena” teasing the sharks into believing they’re about to get fed. Then things would go as previously planned for the second dive.

You know you’ve arrived at Shark Reef Marine Reserve because, ironically enough, the land adjacent to it looks like a shark fin jetting out of the island. We got to the site earlier than the boat from Pacific Harbor & earlier than the crew from the reserve so we had to sit around & wait a bit for them all while completely suited up because, as Jodi said, once the reserve crew roll up, it’s go time, they don’t wait on you at all.

While we were waiting the water began to become more & more active, more & more figures started to show up just below the surface. Nurse sharks. Completely harmless to humans, the nurse sharks at the reserve have begun swimming up to the surface when the dive boats moor under the impression that they’ll get fed for doing so, they never do. Dee, our captain, spotted the reserve boat coming on the horizon & it was time to get into the literal shark infested waters.

I’d be lying if I said I weren’t a bit nervous. I’d never done a shark dive before, nor had I ever been that up close & personal with such large predatory animals before. Let me be clear here, I’m not afraid of sharks, I think they’re severely demonized & misunderstood creatures, but I do hold a great deal of respect for them & understand the damage they’re capable of inflicting. All of that being said…I was the first in the water. The absolute first. I knew that the longer I waited the more the anxiety of anticipation would build so I just bit the bullet & took the plunge.

Immediately after I got into the water & grabbed ahold of the towline & looked down. The Passage was murky, probably visibility of around 40-50 feet but at the edge of that range I was a massive bull shark circling below, which much to my surprise, made me immediately excited.

Once we were all on in the water & on the line we began our decent. At around 25 feet we hit the top of the reef, sliding a little farther down the side we began to circumnavigate the outcroppings of rock & coral filled with fish. I was so preoccupied with the aquatic life to my right that I didn’t noticed the Bull Shark had returned & was passing a mere five feet to my right before carrying on around the reef.

We circled the reef ending up at the first sunken vessel in the passage. Turned upside down the hull was littered with little clusters of corals holding tight to the eroding metal. Around the side of the ship I found a massive pair of Green Filefish before turning to once again find the Bull Shark passing by. I wish I had pictures of both the Filefish & the Bull Shark passing to present to you all but I guess my camera had been off since the time of my decent til we got to the edge of “The Arena.”

We were all lined up against the wall of “The Arena,” knees planted on the sea bed. Elaine & I took up the far right end with Sam, our Fijian Dive guide behind us, & the rest of the group filled in along the row. Once we were all in place the diver from the reserve brought in the chum bin.

The chum bin was a massive yellow trash can with clips on the lid & a ten foot chain connecting it to the diver above. He carried it through the water like a marionette, rattling the chains & his dive rattle along the way to draw the fish in. He initially just hooked it to the mooring & chilled above it ringing his rattles but then went & unhooked it to carry it around the arena.

The Nurse Sharks were especially interested in the bin, diving over one another to get closest to the lid, while the Black Reef Sharks, Bull Sharks, Lemon Sharks, Black & Silver Tipped Reef Sharks, & remainder of the fish merely circled around the ring.

After being in aw of the sharks for around twenty minutes as the reserve diver maneuvered the trash can around, we began our ascend back to the boat. Elaine noticed that Sam had stopped to have an interaction with a Moray that I clearly missed because I was too entranced in a school of Spade Fish gathered by the boat mooring.

We surfaced, sat & ate through our surface interval & awaited instruction from the reserve workers on when it was feeding time.

During our surface time Elaine asked Sam about the Eel. He explained, much like the reserve does for the sharks, he feels the Eel in hopes of it sticking around & becoming less reclusive. He explained that over the span of several months he went from having the Eel hide from him to being able to hold it & feed it by hand. The Eel also comes out of the rock work exclusively for him when he comes to dive the site. He then asked if we wanted to pet it to which we both gave an exuberant “yes!”

Our second dive began with less meandering. We were in the water & guided straight down to the rock wall where we lined up in basically the same fashion, except that I got nudged further down the right side so that I was between the wall & the reef with literally about a foot of space total wiggle room. Once we were all lined up against the wall the diver from the reserve returned & began working to unlock the bin. He worked diligently at each of the clamps until at last all were free & be began to tug the chain that would overturn the garbage bin.

No sooner than he had gone to over turn the bin did a large rush of current sweep in to snatch the receptacle. The surge first carried the yellow can south before the chain went taught & began swinging it west towards us. It stopped about 20-30 feet directly in front of my & dumped the entirety of its contents. The sharks immediately went into a frenzy darting in & out of the mess of fish heads & scales. I couldn’t help but shrink a little. Here, less than thirty feet away from me were hundreds of sharks of all varying sizes, species, & temperaments fighting for food that was all blowing in my direction.

At one point a large Bull Shark got stuck in the bin & writhed around in it until it sprang free, several fish heads in its mouth. Another Bull rushed in, grabbed a collection of three large fish heads & began swimming directly at Elaine, Sam, & I closely followed by another Bull who was fighting to get one or two of the heads out of the other shark’s mouth. The picture here is the best I got of the kerfuffle, please note that my GoPro was tucked in at hip height so while it looks like they’re well above me, they were within a distance where I probably could have reached out & grabbed a fish head of my own. Sam had to bump the sharks away with a large metal hook & Elaine & I exchanged a “WTF was that” look before returning our attention to the Sharknado before us.

The feeding frenzy lasted around twenty minutes even calling in a reclusive White Tipped Reef Shark or two. There used to actually be a resident Tiger Shark as well named Princess, but she hasn’t been seen at the site since COVID kept the feeding crews away.

Once the sharks began to dissipate we were prompted to head back to our mooring for our safety stop. Sam stopped Elaine & I & prompted us to follow. He then took is to a little outcropping of the reef where a Green Moray came wiggling out of the rocks & proceeded to receive scratches from Sam. He then prompted Elaine to come over & give it a pat & a scratch before the attention was passed to me. I anchored on the rock & came in slowly being sure to stretch well over the apparent biting range of the Eel & gave it a few scratches at the back of its head.

The Eel felt completely different than I expected it to. You know how often times you think to yourself “yeah, I’m pretty sure my brain can piece together what that’ll feel like based on the things I’ve touched in my life?” Well the idea my brain had of what a Moray Eel feels like was completely off. First off it’s very mucus-y. The slimy part I’m sure a lot of you had pegged, but its skin almost has no tension to it, almost like poking the top of a jellyfish or feeling a thick plastic bag underwater except its covered in slime.

We departed from the Eel & made our way back to the mooring site, saying “hello” once again to the school Spadefish who hadn’t left their post since the last time we came through. After climbing back into the boat we headed back to the resort.

Lunch that day was a Pan-Fried Fish Salad. We planned another dive though the tide was quickly slipping out, so we chose something chill & local, “The Pond” again.

Returning to “The Pond” I had the same damn mask problems that plagued me at “Turtle Head" the day before. I made the best of it & cruised around “The Pond” with my dive buddies taking in the site.

I felt so bad because Elaine at one point motioned to me something that I thought was “Pillow Starfish.” Sleepy hands by her head & an explosion with her hands. She meant sleeping Pufferfish. So here I came, barreling over the reef, completely oblivious to the need to be sneaky & I scared it away. Thankfully we encountered another sleeping Pufferfish later on in the dive that I was wiser to not awaken.

It was Curry Night when we returned, something I & a few others in the group were beyond psyched for. Despite many grumbles from the group at large everyone seemed to at the very least remain fairly respectful & at least ate a large portion of the provided food. No one, to my knowledge, turned away the dish or asked for something else. The curry was wonderful too! Chicken Tikka Masala, Fijian Roti, Yellow Lentil Daal, & a Salted Caramel Pavlova for dessert!

I spent the rest of the evening combing through my shark dive footage, of which there was a lot, & compiling it into my vlog. It was another midnight with a 6 AM wake up call for me just to get it finished.


End Of Day Five



Day Six



Another late night of editing, another early morning to finish, Thursday we did actually get to sleep in a tad so what had become my normal 6 AM wake up & edit session was now able to be delayed an hour. After editing I went down for breakfast where I had Yaloka Niviti waiting for me. Yaloka Niviti is a Fijian breakfast dish consisting of eggs, black beans, feta, avocado, & chili sauce all wrapped in Roti, sort of like a breakfast quesadilla I suppose.

Our dive call was a little later than normal partially because of the tides for the day, partially because the sites we were hitting were all local. The first of which was “The Aquarium,” a dive the other boat did at the beginning of the week & raved about.

I understand why the other group raved about “The Aquarium” it is teeming with life both of the coral & animal variety. The site sits on the outer reef wall of Beqa Lagoon & is in the shape of a more front heavy curve. The corals there fluoresce with bold neon oranges, acid greens, highlighter yellows, & bright turquoise blues. The reef is covered in several intriguing mollusk species; Black & White Spotted Nudibranchs & even a Common Egg Cowry munching away on a leather coral.

I saw my first wild Clown Tang here as well, though I only caught a glimpse of it from the corner of my eye before it ducked under a rock. I did my best to idol by where it hid in hopes that it would come out but it only popped its head out once & the Tomato Clownfish who I’d taken up station by were getting pissed that I was so close to their beloved anemone, which was an impressive one at that.

Before I’d gotten distracted by pursuing the Clown Tang I found a little Gray Moray Eel, far less boisterous than Sam’s the day before. I had shared it with the group at that point & moved on. Farther along the curve of the reef that jutted a bit more into open water we discovered a male & female Great Pacific Octopus. I actually didn’t see the female until I was looking at video later, even though she was pointed out to me over & over again. Camouflage is dope!

Our second dive of the day was equally as spectacular, “Mata Point.” Despite going over the dive plan & agreeing that we would all start the dive going west with the reef wall on our right side we all got in the water & immediately headed east. After about ten minutes of confusion we all got straightened out & headed in the right direction which unfortunately ate into our dive time making it so we never made it all the way to “Mata Point” as originally intended. The dive was still gorgeous though!

The reef wall basically goes in a straight line until it curves into the point (I assume). The coral species here displayed the same vibrance as their “Aquarium” counterparts & there were an abundance of Halloween Flatworms! At one point Jodi found a quant little Saddlebacked Pufferfish tucked into the reef & I found a rather large Anemone Crab attached to the underside of a large anemone.

At one point during the dive a group of around five or six of us began hearing the aggressive rattle of someone’s dive rattle. We hadn’t noticed the rest of the groups disappearance but we were with Sam & each of us had our own dive buddies, so we were all a tad confused. We took it as a recall signal & all made our way back along the wall amongst the sea fans & anemones.

We found the boat with Jodi waiting next to it underwater banging her tank with her pointing rod. Some of the group had been running out of air & she was trying to locate the remainder of us, who were with Sam, to pull the dive.

While we were in our safety stop above the reef I found my second Clown Tang & this time I got quite a deal more time with it! It basically circled me over & over, both curious & cautious. It would duck into crevices, hide, the jut out & swim to the next spot. But back into the boat & back to the resort we all went.

Lunch was a “Hangover Burger” served poolside which was topped with Onion Jam, Tomato, Bacon, Lettuce, Cheese, & a Fijian BBQ Sauce made at the resort. I enjoyed it there while catching a few rays & sipping my ritualistic post dive cup of tea.

Our afternoon dive was to be the last dive of the trip. We headed back out to do an exploratory dive, that simply means the dive is uncharted & the guides don’t know it's ins & outs. We knew at some point that the current would come in so we anticipated the drift. We were dropped at one end of the reef wall & Captain Dee was meant to meet us down the line. So was the plan…

The dive was outstanding, the corals especially. I stumbled upon a bed of deep blue anemones that played host to a whole colony of assorted Clownfish, a large cluster of Alveopora (flower coral), & mountains of leathers & maze corals.

It was then that we hit the wall. Not a literal wall, but a current wall. It came in hard & fast & halted any & all progress we were making down the reef. The decision was made to turn around & head back to where we had begun our dive in hopes that Dee would see the signs & the current shift & anticipate the new plan.

On our way back I was so mesmerized by the corals that I was almost completely run over by a large Hawksbill Sea Turtle. I ducked out of its way as well as I could in the water & waves & watched it go along its merry way on the top of the reef.

When it was time to surface I got put in charge of deploying our SMB or Safety Sausage from the depth of what would be our safety stop. We swam out to see til neither the reef nor the bottom were visible & I deployed to sausage up to the surface to signal Dee of where we all were.

DISCLAIMER: IF YOU ARE MY MOTHER OR FATHER PLEASE FEEL FREE TO SKIP THIS NEXT PARAGRAPH OR THREE!

We waited well past the three minutes prescribed for our safety stop all the while never hearing the ringing hum of the boat motor as it got closer, so we all cautiously surfaced. Dee hadn’t seen the bright yellow SMB, nor had he anticipated the change of plans. He still sat very far away at the other end of the reef facing the opposite direction. Our dive time was meant to be around forty-five minutes but the site ended up being deeper than we’d anticipate & we’d only been under for around thirty-five minutes or so. Naturally Dee hadn’t begun looking for us yet.

The winds & waves had picked up with the current though which easily drowned out the several whistles being blown. At around five minutes into our surface time we had all inflated SMBs & were waving them in the air in a futile effort to get his attention. Given different circumstances we honestly probably would have looked & sounded like a rave; different colored neon flashing in the air with whistles, rattles, & shouting.

It wasn’t until our allotted dive time was up that Dee began looking for us, which, after he turned around he quickly found us. By the time Dee picked us up we had drifted well away from our initial ascent spot & it had been about ten to fifteen minutes spent trying to make as much noise as we could.

Was it terrifying? Surprisingly no. We actually were having a pretty good time all things considered. I can’t speak to Jodi or Sam but I know the rest of us were rather enjoying the float. When we got on board of the dive boat again Jodi explained that a few months ago she had been the private dive guide to an elderly couple & the three of them had gotten swept out to sea. It took them around thirty to forty minutes to be found at which point Jodi had said she was starting to panic. All the while the elderly couple was laughing, taking pictures, having a blast. It must be the plight of the dive guide to fear for your clients.

I really wish I could remember the major highlights of the rest of the evening but I can’t seem to. I know we spent the time after we returned from the dive fresh water washing our gear & packing it all up from the storage spots we’d had all week, I know I sat & edited in the cabana by the pool, but I can’t for the life of me recall what was for dinner or what the rest of the evening looked like so I guess that’s all I have for you on day six. Kind of an anti-climactic ending I know.

End Of Day Six

Day Seven

With no more diving to do it was time to retrieve our gear. Well, that which we hadn’t already snagged the night before. This mostly consisted of BCDs, Regulators, & Wetsuits which had all been hung to dry over night in the dive shop. I packed up majority of my scuba gear but allowed my BCD & wetsuits more time to hang dry in the shower of my room.

Breakfast was the Full Fijian, a tropical twist on the Full British that I’m sure was a remnant of the colonizers. Yes it consisted of baked beans, cooked tomatoes, bacon, toast, eggs, etc but also came with the Fijian touch of fresh tropical fruits.

For those of you that were unaware, you aren’t supposed to dive less than 24 hours before a flight, that doesn’t mean we spent the day twiddling our thumbs or even dry for that matter.

Many of us had booked a day of River Tubing & Cultural Exploration.

Our van picked us up around 9 AM & we headed East through Pacific Harbor towards Suva. We stopped in Navua where we boarded long boats that took us up stream. Each long boat held around five people, captain & guide included & there were several times in which we had to vacate the longboat to trek along the shore because the water was too low to accommodate the weight of all of us.

About an hour up river we were escorted into a small village called Sabata. A village with around nine buildings, Sabata had joined up with the tubing company in a mutually beneficial partnership to show people how a lot of Fijians still lived. Our guide took us first to a home atop the hill where cassava was being cooked & palm was being stripped to make grass mats. He showed us the outdoor Fijian kitchen & then took us into the one room home.

The owner of the house graciously offered us some of his food, boiled cassava & then took a picture with us, showing us around his house. We then met the chief & the mayor of the town before being shown through their cassava & taro fields back to the longboat.

We ventured down the river in the long boat for about ten minutes before we pulled over & were escorted up a path, along a stream to a beautiful waterfall! The falls poured water into a dark pool below & it honestly reminded me a lot of the waterfall that Evan & I swam in back near Hona in Maui. I got into the water without hesitation, the rest of the group, not so much, even despite my reminding them “when is the next time you’re going to have a chance to swim in a beautiful waterfall in the middle of the rainforest in Fiji?”

After our guides cliff jumped into the waterfall it was time for lunch which was served in the Guava Grove back along the shore where we’d excited the river. Lunch was traditional Fijian. Kokodo (a Fijian Ceviche, Stewed Fern, Pineapple, Grilled Chicken Drumsticks, Salad, & a very spice heavy Sausage with White Bread were all on the plate.

I bothered one of the guides into picking us some fresh Guava which we joyously shared amongst the group.

After lunch it was time to tube. We got our safety briefing from Rosie, the owner, & we all clambered into our respective tubes before setting off down the river.

The guides had requested that we all try to link up, that way no one ran the risk of getting lost or left behind, & we were less likely to tip going through rapids.

Most of the river was a pleasure cruise, leisurely & calm. We hit rapids two or three times, the last of which was by far the largest. As someone who has whitewater rafter many a time in my life, I’ve got to say that going down some minor class rapids in an inner tube is a tad intimidating.

After we were through with all of the rapids the staff began singing to us. They sang traditional Fijian songs, Fijian church songs, & songs of farewell. We then climbed back into the long boats & headed back down to Navua where we got out, changed, & climbed back into the van to be taken back to Waidroka Bay.

Along the way we were all feeling snack-y, especially for ice cream, so we asked our driver to stop at a gas station or something comparable to get some treats. He took us to a newly opened Korean Supermarket. We were like kids in a damn candy store.

I have a massive sweet tooth, & candy is my weakness which, at that point, I hadn’t indulged in over a week. Poor me, I know. So I went HAM on the snack section of the grocery store. I got Sour Stripes, Gummy Colas, a Cadbury Fruit & Nut Bar, a Magnum Ice Cream Bar, a pre-mixed Bounty Rum & Cola, & a bag of Calbee Honey Butter Chips (a Korean fad food that I’d actually squeezed into a song a week or so prior)! All of this amounted to a grand total of around $12 USD. I guess it’s true, sugar is cheap.

When we returned I went back up to my room to begin packing & take a little bitty nap, being on the river all day in the sun really saps you.

Around sunset I made my evening cup of tea & went down to sit on the dock & watch the Fijian sunset one last time over the shallows. I was then brought up to the cabana by the pool for a Kava ceremony, complete with more Fijian Music!

Kava is a member of the pepper family. It is traditionally used socially as a drink to be shared. Kava actually has many beneficial medical properties & has been found to drastically reduce anxiety & stress. The Fijians say alcohol winds you up, Kava settles you down. In Fijian culture Kava is a social beverage brewed by hand in a large bowl called a Tanoa. The dried, ground Kava root is placed in a sack where it is kneaded into water before being dished out. Traditionally when handed a cup of Kava you are to say “Bula,” clap your hands once, shoot the contents of the cup, finishing it in one go, & then clap three more times.

I would describe the taste of Kava as reedy. If you ever played a woodwind instrument & had to suck on a reed before playing, it’s almost exactly that taste only a bit more peppery. The effects of Kava are interesting as well.

A lot of people in the western world equate Kava to Peyote or Ayahuasca but Kava is neither a stimulant nor is it psychoactive. It does kind of leave the roof of your mouth buzzing but it truly puts you in a state of deep calm & serene happiness. I drank four full cups of Kava that evening & probably would have loved more! It was a wonderful experience!

After the Kava ceremony & dancing around the cabana like fools we retreated for dinner. Much like lunch, dinner was also traditional Fijian, seeing as it was our last night in Fiji. Served buffet style we had Pan Seared Marlin, Taro, Cassava, Sweet Potato, Coconut Creamed Spinach, Kokodo, Topoi coated in Sweet Coconut Cream, Chicken, & Pork. After dinner the Resort staff came & sang to us before sending us off to bed.

Almost as soon as I got up the hill the power went out. We would later find out it was because a tree had fallen on a power line, but the whole bay was a deep black darkness, the moon being hidden behind clouds. The Fijians, who had never stopped singing even after we left, didn’t seem to mind the darkness & continued their deeply harmonized chorus into the winter night.

I noticed a pocket of stars poking through the clouds & sought to take advantage of probably the darkest place I’ll be in my lifetime. I turned my phone to high exposure & snapped pictures of the sky capturing stunning glimpses of the cosmos simply from an iPhone.

Power was partially restored as we switched to a generator & I drifted off to sleep not long after.

End Of Day Seven

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Travel Blog: Fiji: Part One-Beqa Lagoon

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Prologue

I started my trip to Fiji not in my normal Nashville place but instead in Los Angeles. The group I was going with, Midwest Aquatics, had booked out a group of tickets through Fiji Airways out of LAX so I went out about a week early to acclimate to the time change & get a bit of work done. It was good I went out early as I got to catch up with friends, had a few very productive meetings, & ended up having time to finish some coursework for specialty certifications I was getting as well as acquire the necessary equipment that I hadn’t realized I was lacking in my diver’s tool box. If you read my previous two blogs you’ll know that I was beyond excited for this trip to Fiji & could barely sit still in anticipation of its arrival, which, of course, it finally did! Shall we dig into it?


FIJI

PART ONE:


Day One

It’s a rather interesting experience flying across the international date line. We departed the US on our flight to Fiji at 11:55 PM PST on Thursday, July 14th, we then missed the entirety of Friday, July the 15th as, across the international date line where Fiji lies, it was already Saturday, the 16th. A very off experience to miss a day in its entirety. We all ended up not receiving the seats we had called & requested, each of us having spent about an hour on hold with Fiji Airways listening to the same song on repeat over & over, but they had bunched our group into the same couple handfuls of rows, so the awkwardness of sleeping next to a stranger on a red eye was eased. I was placed next to Roland in a middle seat though, much to our excitement, our aisle ticket holder never showed & I happily got to shift over, leaving the middle space blank for both of us to pile on items we wanted within reach & commandeer the absentee’s leg room.

I barely slept on the ride out. Call it nerves or simply sheer lack of comfort, but for whatever reason it evaded me. I think max I got three to four hours out of our eleven hour flight, all the while fading in & out of music & movies I’d downloaded to my iPad.

We arrived in Fiji before the sun around 5:45 am. Greeted by the upside down moon & a large line at customs we slowly made our way to the transport, collecting luggage & exchanged currency along the way. I was the last to make it onto the transport van having sought out coffee & an atm while everyone else in my group had gone through the exchange.

Once we were all crammed into the van we began our two-ish hour trek from Nadi to Waidroka Bay Resort. Along the way & towards the beginning of this ride our driver drove us by the gorgeous Sri Siva Subramaniya Swami Temple & explained that nearly one third of the Fijian population is that of Indian decent whose ancestors had been brought in by the British to farm sugar cane. Formerly going by Indo Fijians, the newest Fijian President, Wiliame Katonivere, had recently declared all “Indo Fijians” as simply Fijians in an attempt to neutralized divisive language amongst his people.

Around an hour further down the road we passed through out driver’s home town, a small fishing village on the southwest coast of the island, before making our way to Vatukarasa to stop at Baravi Handicrafts & Cafe for a stretch break & a little sustenance.

Baravi is an interesting duck of a place. Majority of the store is a gift shop specializing in goods made by Fijians most for tourists; lali, carved masks, tanoa fai’ava, apparel, jewelry, ornate paddled & clubs, etc. Then tucked opposite, in the front corner of the store with a window to walk up from the outside is the cafe portion. I ordered two hand pies, butter chicken & paneer & corn, under the presumed assumption we wouldn’t linger long in addition to an iced coffee, served blended, & a bottle of sparkling coconut/pineapple drink. The hand pies were out of this world incredible! The crust was flaky & the filling was moist & rich. I definitely think I preferred the butter chicken one but maybe that’s just the white boy in me talking.

We lingered a little longer at our stop than I think we all had anticipated. Across the street a small village had set up food stalls of their own to compete with the cafe. They sold fresh fruit & boiled corn, though I got the vibe the menu changed seasonally based on availability. We all loaded back up in the van & headed onward to Waidroka.

Waidroka Bay Resort sits on the other side of a small coastal mountain range, something a van full of twenty three people might struggle to reach from time to time & though the main highways in Fiji are paved, the singular road going in & out of the bay was not. The radio station our driver had selected was an eclectic one for sure, playing anything from southern gospel to country to modern pop & 80s hits. The irony of Kate Bush’s “Running Up That Hill” was not lost on any of us as the van struggled to crest the mountain, we truly thought at a few different points we’d need to get out & push.

Finally on our decent we bobbled our way down into the resort where we were greeted by the two Scottish managers. They informed us all that our rooms weren't quite ready & that the group before us was still yet to leave but that we should hang out, place our lunch orders, & they would take care of our baggage & seeing it o our proper rooms in due time. I ordered the “catch of the day” before making my way down to the ocean, shocker, I know.

The tide had gone out during out voyage so silty mangrove shores stretched out for hundreds of yards past the etched coast line. Tide pools & fading estuaries dotted the terrain from the dock where the dive boats where now run a ground to the edge of the reef, far out past the exposed sand bed. The pools were teeming with life & one of the first things I came upon was a lagoon triggerfish trapped in water only about two inches or so deep. I asked Darin & Elaine if I should move it to the channel about fifty feet away seeing as I have experience handling live fish having managed reef tanks most of my adult life but the consensus was that the tide was returning & the porcelain bodied, strikingly painted fish would soon be able to return to sea. So off we all went in our separate directions to explore further pools.

Despite the numerous damsels, gobies, sea cucumbers, clams, corals, & starfish I came across I couldn’t shake the trigger & intuition got the best of me, which I’m glad it did. See the clouds had dissipated & while, yes the tide was returning, so too had the sun which had begun to dry out the innumerable tidal pools. About twenty minutes or so after our initial encounter I made my way back to where I believed the triggerfish to be & found it now sideways laying the same pool, now only about an inch deep. I decided to move it. Grasping the fish firmly, but delicately, holding it so that my index finger maintained its “trigger” I lifted the fish from its rapidly evaporating refuge & took it tide pool by tide pool all the way back to the channel. The trigger lingered a little when I placed it back in open water before darting out through the channel. I then made my way back through the muck to the resort for lunch.

After washing my feet I sat down to dine. The catch was Marlin, pan seared, sat atop a bed of fresh Fries, served with Fiji Lime & Tartar. It was delicious! I was then escorted up to my room, a sixty-four step climb back up the hill where room fifteen met me at the far end of a line of motel style rooms that shared a common porch/walkway. The view from my room was outstanding & it overlooked the entirety of the bay! I sorted my baggage & put my clothes in the wardrobe before collecting my dive bag & heading down to meet Jodi, our dive guide, with it all.

We had been sorted into two separate boats, that with those requiring special access for entry & exit of the water went on the Explorer with James, Jodi’s husband & fellow resort dive guide. I was placed on the other with Jodi as the ladder was a bit wobblier & we a few of us had specific tasks to complete for our different specialty certifications we were getting on the trip. Each boat was issued a briefing time & told to bring our BCDs (Buoyancy Compensator Device) & Regulators down for the staff to have set up & ready to go in the morning when we departed on our first dives. After our check-in & getting all of my gear situated I climbed back up to my room for a little jet lag nap before dinner.

I tried to keep my nap brief as I still wanted to sleep that night & in spite of my body begging me just to succumb to the slumber I managed to get up! Not feeling entirely social & in a state of calm I returned to the shoreline, where the tide had returned, & meditated atop a large chunk of lava rock next to an overturned palm tree. I exited my meditation to the sounds of fish catching insects in the shallows & found a large colony of fiddler crabs had emerged from the sand to wave their dominant claws at one another.

The Lali for dinner was beat & I returned to the main part of the resort to be met with a dinner of Stuffed Chicken with Cassava, Veggies Samosas, & Chocolate Donuts before pushing my way into my room barely able to keep my eyes open. I think I ended up falling asleep around eight or nine that evening.


End Of Day One






Day Two

I woke up on day two fair early. My body naturally said “time to go” around 6:30 AM Fiji time which is 1:30 PM Central US, hence why my body said “enough of this, up we go!” The kitchen didn’t open until around 7 AM for breakfast so I sleepily shuffled around my room collecting things I would need for the day for that thirty minutes time. The weather was a touch on the rainy side, which I’d come to learn if often far more common than sun in Fiji, but that didn’t me from stopping to take some pictures of the local Syngonium species growing in the run off ditch at the bottom of the hill.

The breakfast I had requested was Topoi, a local Fijian dumpling. The way breakfast & lunch worked at the resort was that the night prior you’d be handed a menu & prompted to choose your breakfast the next day right after finishing your three course dinner. The same went for lunch only you were asked to put in your order after finishing up your breakfast. Back to Topoi. Served with sliced fruit & a small ramekin of peanut butter, topoi is a dumpling made of Cassava & Coconut. It is similar in taste & texture to that of the southern American varietal of drop biscuits found in Chicken & Dumplings. The reason I chose this breakfast is simple. Why go somewhere you’ve never been to eat the same things you eat every day? In addition to choosing the dumplings simply out of curiosity I also got them somewhat at the behest of Elaine, my instructor & dive buddy for the week, who chooses Banana Pancakes on the days she dives especially if the distance required to travel to the dive site is farther by boat than normal. The reason? In addition to being a great source of carbohydrates, something you need when diving, bananas taste the same going either direction…

Our call time wasn't til 9 so we all sat around the table telling stories until it was time to go. It was a late start simply because the weather was up in the air. Jodi had decided to take us to a dive site called “The Pond.” She’d chosen this site for a number of reasons.

  1. It was inside the reef & thus offered protection from the swells & winds the storm had brought in, literally making a bowl shaped, mostly sandy, retreat on the other side.

  2. Some of us were working on Low Visibility & Night Dive Specialty Certifications, it would be murkier with the weather & thus qualify.

  3. It’s a nice introductory dive to get reacclimatized to diving after having spent a whole days worth of time in travel mode.

I have to admit I got a little bit of FOMO when our dive site was announced because the other group was headed deeper into Beqa Lagoon. However, the weather said otherwise & the other boat ended up diving “The Aquarium,” a dive we would hit towards the end of the week.

“The Pond,” in addition to providing a respite for us, also offered one for the aquatic life around the lagoon, typically playing host to White Tip Reef Sharks, Sea Turtles, Breeding Chromis & Damsels in addition to Dogfaced Pufferfish. The only of the three we ended up seeing that day were the latter. As I said, “The Pond” is a bowl tucked on the inside of the reef wall, its sandy slopes are covered in boulders that host colonies of Lettuce Coral & Birds Nest. These then play host to the mating fish of the reef & hide Green Chromis & Domino Damsels all throughout their overlapping structures.

We ended up diving “The Pond” twice that day as the weather prevented us from going out onto the other side of the reef. During those two dives we saw a Great Pacific Octopus, a Maculiceps Tang, a ton of Scopas Tangs, several species of Butterflyfish, the only Goniopora Coral I saw all week, a Halfmoon Triggerfish, & the sites resident Sewing Machine (mark that as the weirdest thing I’ve ever found on the bottom of the ocean).

We headed back to the resort ahead of the weather & just in time for lunch. I took my lunch poolside & got a cup of Pumpkin & Coconut Soup with a Ham Melt Sandwich. During my time by the pool in the little sunshine we had that day I managed to befriend a rather curious little female Jumping Spider. She came & sat on my knee looking up at me before I’d scoot her into my hand & set her on the ground next to me just for her to come back over & over again, so I decided to let her stay & we enjoyed our lunch in the sun together.

Naptime rolled around with the rain. Our third dive was called off & up the hill I went to crash for a bit of time & start editing the GoPro footage I had accumulated over the day.

After my nap I decided I’d be a little more social, so I returned to the main lobby/dining hall of the resort. There I was met by Elaine, Billy (one of the Fijians working there), & Kai (the owner’s daughter). Elaine & Billy were in the process of teaching Kai how to bartend as she would soon have to be the one to do it in a few of the staff’s absence in the coming months. Elaine was writing out a list of basic drinks & recipes as she’d at one point owned a bar & we all got to be the guinea pigs for Kia’s bartending experience. I got handed a blended Papaya Daiquiri which was refreshing & light before then being passed a drink Elaine & Kai had come up with called a “Safety Stop,” a fruity rum drink with a cherry floater halfway submerged. If you’re a diver you already get the joke, if not allow me to explain (divers may skip ahead to next paragraph). A safety stop is a 3-5 minute hold spent around 15 feet below the surface. The purpose of the safety stop is to allow your body to expel some of the nitrogen that has been forced into your body due to increased pressure. It helps prevent decompression sickness a.k.a the bends.

After a dinner of Veggie Tempura, Pan Fried Marlin, & assorted fruits alongside a Rum Negroni, it was time for bed. I wrapped up my editing, posted my travel vlog video, & was out before the clock struck nine.


End Of Day Two





Day Three

Now entering Monday, I was awoken around 6:30 AM once again, this time by the sound of a screeching Masked Parrot perched atop a tree just off the side of the hill. The sun had risen & the rain had cleared so I made my way down to breakfast. My meal that morning was Muesli, a dish that I had been introduced to in the past by my former manager. The Muesli at Waidroka was less of an overnight oat & more of a cereal with a plethora of topping. Yogurt, honey, bananas, raisins, papaya, etc. It was amazing & quite filling though I think I owe part of my fullness to the endless supply of tank bread (fruit bread in the shape of a tank) that came with each breakfast.

Our dives were at “Pipes,” just off shore from the reef wall. “Pipes” in addition to being a great dive site, is also a rather attractive surfing stop, in fact that’s where it received its name. To us it was appealing not only for the abundance of corals & sea life, but also because Dave, my other dive buddy, & I needed to get down below 100 ft for our deep diving certification.

Upon our initial entry into the water I became immediately overwhelmed. Not anxious or panicky, but aghast at the amount & diversity of the corals that lay below me. “Pipes” was truly a spectacle & I couldn’t help but smile for at least the first 10-20 minutes of the dive.

We pretty quickly got to work plummeting down into the deep. Elaine, Dave, & for some reason Darin, Deb, & I all made our way over the drop off & down into the deep reaching around 108 ft. before beginning our slow ascent back up to the main part of the reef. I think Deb & Darin were simply following us, not because they were after the certification, lord knows Darin most likely already has it being a dive shop owner, but because they thought we were following the rest of our group. In any case, Deb was now just lacking the coursework to check off her Deep Dive certification.

At “Pipes” I found a gorgeous bubble tip anemone in addition to the only Powder Brown Tang I saw the whole trip, which just happened to be at depth! The reef teemed with life from Moorish Idols to Regal & Lemonpeel Angelfish to Firefish & Leopard Wrasse.

We dove “Pipes” twice before heading in to shore for lunch. During our surface intervals we sat drinking coffee, eating muffins, cookies, & apples, watching the surfers take in the surface enjoyment through a light drizzly rain that made way for a magnificent rainbow.

On our second dive we crossed the 80 ft requirement for the Deep Diving cert. Deb joined once again. I contributed to my daily bit of ocean conservation when I pulled a busted size 11 flip flop from the sand that a massive sea cucumber was attempting to eat. We also found a shining example of bubble coral nestled just opposite of a huge saddle anemone.

My lunch that day was a Fish Wrap served with a side of Island Slaw, a very cucumber heavy dish. No spider accompanied my mean but there was a rather large moth outside the dive shop when we initially returned. I also began my daily practice of post dive tea time; English Breakfast with a spoonful of sugar & a splash of milk. Really warms the bones from the chilly deep.

We were given the go ahead to trek out for another dive which we decided would be a return to “Pipes” only this time we would drift dive the portion that is normally surfed & end up tucked away from the current where we originally began. This is where we spotted our first Turtle of the trip! Off swimming in the current, lazily bobbing along, a turtle! Unfortunately the afternoon churn & our distance from it kept me from getting a good video/picture but it is there if you go back & watch the day three video from my TikTok or Instagram!

In addition to the turtle the wall was covered in beautify Zoanthid polyps & teaming with larger reef fish like Grouper, Snapper, & Squirrel Fish.

Dinner was Coconut & Pumpkin Soup with a Marinated Pork Chop & Ice Cream for dessert. I sat a few long, extra hours at the table editing video for the daily vlog before I began the sixty-four step climb to my room.

The frogs were out that night, massive tree frogs that came out to bask in the warmth of the concrete all while attempting to attract a mate.

I’m pretty sure I stayed up rather late editing, going to bed around Midnight instead of 9 or 10 PM.

End Of Day Three







Day Four

Tuesday started a little groggier than the previous. With more dive footage came more required for combing through hours worth of footage to find several one to three second blurbs to fit into my vlogs. I’m not complaining though, I’m beyond happy with how my vlogs turned out!

It was a clear day that we started earlier than normal because we were off to dive Beqa Lagoon proper! I started my day once again with Topoi as we had to brave the choppiness of the Beqa Passage between the main island of Fiji & Yanuca Island on the western edge of Beqa Lagoon.

As I said, the morning was a much quicker one, the wind was due to pick up in the afternoon making the Passage more & more difficult to navigate in our small dive boats, so our call time sat just on the other side of breakfast, the staff even arriving thirty minutes earlier to accommodate us.

Our first dive in the lagoon was called “Pinnacles” so named because of the labyrinth of pinnacle rock formations jutting up from the sand below which now house millions of individual plant, fish, coral, & invertebrate species.

Upon entering the water we were immediately greeted by a curious Remora. For those of you that don’t know, a remora is a fish with a sucker on the top of its head that attaches to larger pelagic aquatic animals such as whales, turtles, sharks, & manta rays. Seeing a remora is usually a sign that something big is swimming near by unless, as this one was trying to do, they see you as the bigger aquatic life & attempt to suction onto you for a ride, something I’ve heard is far from fun.

The Remora quickly lost interest in us & we began our dive. Wrapping around the first pinnacle we found an abundance of Sea Fans & Whips, Christmas Tree Worms Basket Starfish, & two massive Clown Triggerfish. We wove in & our of the different Pinnacles throughout the dive though I stayed around 5-8 feet above everyone else, my left ear failing to equalize the the pressure below that depth.

When it was time for the group to make our safety stop we were moved to the top of one of the largest pinnacles. The abundance of life just atop the large, looming tower was extraordinary. Hard corals abounded with damsels darting in & out of their folds, Male Lyre-tail Anthias flashing their displays, fighting over territory & harams of females, & the current swinging us all violently to & fro, now entirely unprotected by the walls below.

We took the opportunity of our surface interval to dip out of the wash & into calmer waters. We pulled over to the abandoned surf camp on Yanuca & claimed it as harbor while we sat around sun bathing & eating our carb heavy snacks. I took the time to tend to my clearly clogged sinus in preparation & hope that it would clear for the next dive ahead. My efforts were fruitful!

The original plan for dive number two of the day was to do a site called “Three Nuns” as the three massive pinnacles there resembled, you guessed it, three nuns. About halfway out the Fijians called it though & diverted to “Turtle Head” a dive site not as close to the passage where winds & waves had picked up exponentially.

“Turtle Head” is so called because one of the large pinnacle towers there jets out into the water reminiscent of a Hawks-Bill Sea Turtle. I personally didn’t see the turtle head during the dive, maybe it was because I was distracted by the incredible life found there but was definitely also partially to do with the fact that I spent the whole dive fighting my mask which had taken up the hobby of fogging during our surface interval. Well, that & the waves had kicked up quite a deal of sediment. None of that to say that the dive was a bust however, far from it.

In spite of the rather constant annoyance my mask was generating & the face I had to fill & clear it almost forty-five seconds, the dive was still incredible. We found several very large Porcupine Pufferfish, another Octopus, & a Trumpetfish, in addition to all of the coral & fish dotting the reef & its many tunnels that would have made great swim throughs if not for the fragile nature of the sea fans inhabiting them.

The top of the “Turtle Head” pinnacle was even more teeming with life though so too was the surge. It was truly a fight getting back into the boat even despite having the mooring line to hold tight too while being slung back & forth across the reef.

Lunch was Teriyaki Chicken Fried Rice served from the beach of the old surf camp. After paying a local $10 Fijian per person to a local islander we all climbed off the boat onto shore & gathered in the bar/mess hall of this now abandoned surfer camp, a location the island locals have helped to upkeep because it has since become a hot spot for dive boat lunches.

Another very popular surf spot, Frigates, is just off shore from the island, on the western edge of the Beqa Lagoon. Frigates is one of the top surf spot in the world, bringing people from all over to cruise its wave. This surf camp featured facilities for surfers to bunk in, running water, a full kitchen, etc. However, they decided at one point to stop paying rent to the locals who in turn kicked them out.

After lunch & failing to husk a coconut on the beach, I swam out to the boat for my mask. A beautiful reef say just off the shore & me being the fish I am, I had to explore it. This then gave Jodi an idea for our third dive. We would be doing a shore dive, starting just outside the little harbor & ending right before the shoreline. So I guess not technically a shore dive where you enter & exit from the shore.

This dive, which we named “Papaya Seed” because of the random swatches of papaya seeds all over the surf camp, was very reminiscent of my first ever dive in Maui with the exception that I think the water was a little more clear on this dive. The sparse reef was home to Massive Seacucumbers, Many a Cleaner Wrasse & their respective cleaning stations, Pillow Starfish, Queen Conches, Clams, Triggers, & Tangs & the dive ended up being a very relaxed, very quant one!

The journey back through the chop was a rough one & I was thrilled we ended up not being smack dab in the middle of it with “Three Nuns.” We were greeted back at the dive shop by the resort cat before I once again began the editing game for my vlogs.

The evening was meant to be a cultural night at the resort, of which I was unaware until one of the Fijian dancers, Sam Sam, came up behind me to fetch a spear from the building overlooking the harbor where I’d taken up residence with my post-dive tea & my iPad, just editing away.

The Fijians all circled up & sat by the pool bringing us all in to a group half circle to watch the festivities. They explained to us the dances & songs they’d be singing & then the party began. A group of young Fijian men rushed the “stage” they’d allotted & began their traditional dances. They ranged in age from early twenties to about eight to ten & the littlest ones constantly looked to their superiors for the next moves. After the dancing & singing we were moved to the main building of the resort where a line up of traditional Fijian foods awaited us.

I took way too much food & ate the lot of it which caused me to spend the duration of my evening editing very, very full. I ended up wrapping around midnight again but without finishing the video. I determined it would be better for me to wake up early the next day & finish which is precisely what I did.

End Of Day Four

END OF PART ONE

Blog: Pre-Ji (A Pre-Fiji Blog)

For those of you that don’t follow me on my socials I for starters am not sure how you even made it here, but welcome! Give this a read & go follow me on things! Back to the thought at hand. For those of you that don’t follow me on my socials I am heading to Fiji today! In fact, at the point in which this blog is posted, I will be halfway to Fiji!

Why am I going to Fiji you ask? I’m going on a dive trip! So naturally you can also expect there to be travel blogs the next two weeks! The dive trip I’m going on is through the school that I did my course work for my initial certification through in Kansas, Midwest Aquatics. I’m unfamiliar with the vast majority of people going on the trip with the exception of Kathy, who did my classroom study & pool dives, & Darin, the owner of the dive shop. The trip is a week long & includes fifteen pre-planned dives along with any I want to add in along the way. Part of my diving will be receiving my deep water certification, my night & limited visibility certification & the total number of log dives to secure my rank as an advanced open water diver! In addition I’ll have at least two night dives & a shark dive with a fourteen foot tiger shark named Princess!

In addition to the dives we will also have cultural nights with local Fijians, several excursions to different sites around the islands, in addition to beach hangs & anything else we desire doing. As I sit on my friend Jenna’s couch writing this I am only five hours away from hoping aboard the roughly eleven hour flight.

Why is this the blog topic? Why was last week’s blog topic about why I love to dive so much? To put it plainly, I’m very excited!

Fiji has always been a bucket list destination for me. The culture, the beaches, the marine life, the cuisine, all of it has intrigued me since I was very young & it feels like I’m checking off a very large life goal box by going on this trip.

I’ve gotten the question from a few people who I mentioned the trip to regarding the fact that I am traveling “alone” but I honestly don’t mind it. I feel I’m fairly decent at being able to make friends anywhere I go & as an introvert time spent in solitude, even socially isolated. I am someone who spends a lot of time in my head & I find my time in contemplation very comforting. It allows me to narrow in on my own feelings & thoughts I dive deeper into my understanding of who I am as a person. Part of why I love diving too.

I think I’m going to keep today’s blog fairly brief. If you want to keep up with this adventure I’m embarking on please feel free to follow me on either TikTok or Instagram where I’ll be posting daily vlogs in addition to the travel blogs I’ll be writing here over the next few weeks! If you’re someone who has been missing Object Writing, don’t fear, those will return after I return to Nashville!

Much love to you all! Next time you’ll hear from me will be an ocean away!

-C

Blog: Finding Peace At The Bottom Of Ocean

I just landed in Burbank an hour or two ago & now sit basking in the mid-80s summer sun, typing out this blog on an iPad, a practice in patience compared to my normal full keyboard laptop. The reason that I am sans laptop is because I have done my best to pack minimal luggage even though a part of my voyage, the current leg, is meant to be for work. My minimalist packing approach this go round is because the second leg of my trip is taking me to Fiji on a scuba diving excursion.

While still fairly green to the leisurely sport of scuba, it has become an instant fascination of mine, & something I seem to have a knack for. I’ve been certified for just over a year & some change & have logged around ten total dive, this coming week I’ll be adding around fifteen more to that total!

So why the blog about Scuba diving? Well, aside from it being on my brain (I spent last night checking all of my gear & packing it meticulously before spending the morning lugging it around airports & North Hollywood), I often get the same set of questions when conversation shifts to diving. So I figured I’d dive, pun intended, into the topic on here!

I’ve always claimed a saltwater soul, I say if I spend too long away from an ocean I start to dry out & in a lot of ways that rings true. When I’m away from the ocean I feel my muscles slowly tense, my bones ache, & my skin yearns for sun. I find my peace below the surface, drifting in the currents.

I’ve swam almost the entirety of my life & I’m rather good at it! I would also definitely say that I’m built like a swimmer, triangular body & all. I, much like many millennials, had a fascination with the ocean & thought I’d grow up into a Marine Biologist some day. I even looked at going to school in San Diego, Hawaii, or Corpus Cristi to study Marine Biology & Veterinary Science. Essentially I wanted Adam Sandler’s job from the film 50 First Dates. Naturally my life took a different course, as here I sit creative writing preparing for writing sessions & such.

I don’t know why it took me so long to get dive certified, it was always something I found myself envious of anytime anyone I knew would talk about dives they’d done. My certification came as a gift actually, a suggestion from my parents as a birthday gift for my 28th year. I immediately took to it.

I got the course work & pool dives done at the same time as my father in Kansas before getting my open water certification in Maui. After that I added a few more dives in Maui as well as a few in Puerto Rico.

The most common question that I seem to get from non-divers is “aren’t you scared?” In short, no.

I do have to admit, my first non-shore dive, my first boat dive, I was nervous, even apprehensive about plunging ‘blindly’ into the ocean below. I knew that there would be a great distance between my entry & any obstacles such as reef or the bottom but it was the slight fear of being completely ‘exposed,’ of not having the beach as a safety line or a convenient escape back to land.

Once I was in the water, 40 feet down, & fluttering along that fear quickly dissipated. Now anytime I step into the depths unknown waiting below I feel nothing but excitement! Why? Because in diving I have gone past the previous limits I had in satiating my saltwater soul & have found a peace that seeps deep into my soul.

The cool thing about scuba, the obvious things aside, is that it allows you a state of neutral buoyancy. It allows you to float suspended in the water & grants you a state of true weightlessness. In addition to the beautiful, untapped surroundings, you now essentially get to experience the most basic feeling of aquatic life. Your plain of orientation is no longer limited to where your feet & gravity allow, you are free to truly navigate three dimensional space unrestrained.

The next great fear of folks seems to be that of the wildlife, mostly where sharks are concerned. There’s a term I’ve picked up on in my limited time diving that I hear circling around from time to time. Sea Puppies. That’s what some people who spend a lot of time diving or doing ocean related research have nicknamed sharks. You see you are more likely to die by being attacked by a cow or are more likely to be struck by lightning then you are to be bitten by a shark. Not killed, bitten.

Are sharks apex predators? Yes. Should they be respected as such? Absolutely. But just because you respect something doesn’t mean you need to fear it, just know the signs & be respectful of the animals & you’ll be more than fine!

The only fear that has crept into my mind where diving is concerned is that of the unknown. I have yet to do a dive where I cannot see the bottom, I have yet to do a dive at night & if I’m being honest, both of these scenarios frighten me, but much like my first step off the boat into deeper water, I know once I’ve checked the box it will no longer be a fear of mine.

This is something I’ve tried to adapt to my life of late. I’ve written on the topic a few times now but my friend Stephen Lovegrove always says “if it terrifies you, it’s probably the right step.” So take the step. Step off the boat into the open ocean, because often times unexplainable peace & serenity await you on the other side!

So something this week that scares you but that you know is the right step, I believe in you!

Let’s me know what that step ends up being for you & as always, much love to you all!

-C

Blog: Just Another Late Night

On a chilly November Wednesday evening, back in 2017, gathered around my kitchen table with Evan Michael & Kate Cosentino was where “Just Another Late Night” was originally conceptualized. The title had been a note in my phone for even longer & for whatever reason the timing was right for this midweek write. Back in 2017 Kate, Evan, Kimi Most, & I used to do weekly Wednesday night writes. This song came out of one of those sessions as well as Kimi’s “Happy Birthday To Me," a song called “Dumb Drunk Self” that I still desperately hope Kate cuts, & innumerable other songs that we each have sitting on the shelf waiting for the timing to be right on their potential tracking. Given that she is not credited on this song, Kimi was obviously not a part of this particular week’s write for whatever reason so it became a collaboration between the three of us.

I remember writing down the title in my notes as almost exactly how it ended up “I need someone that will love me right, not just another late night.” To me the song sparks a memory from the early 2010s but for whatever reason I still hadn't found that “someone who would love me right.” Naturally it had been a while since any of the events in the memory had taken place but I still felt deeply attached to the idea & the song kind of poured out of us in the session.

From there the song became a staple in my set, I’ve been playing it in live settings ever since that night in 2017. I played it so much & so often that people who came to a lot of my sets began to know the words & I would get asked over & over when I planned to release it but for whatever reason it just kept getting pushed down the “to record” list. Cue 2020/2021.

I had just put out the acoustic mix of “Obliterated” & had gone in to record another song that is as of yet, still to be released. We wrapped the song & I felt I needed to put out something with a little more movement, enter “Just Another Late Night.” Going back in studio with Josh Gleave, we set out to finally bringing “Just Another Late Night” to life.

I wanted “Just Another Late Night” to feel almost like two separate songs because in the song, much like in life, we have moments of waining clarity. The verses act as the “quiet before the storm” that is each encounter the chorus brings. The verses are much more reserved allowing more space for the clock & hours to tick by in reflection. The chorus is cacophonous, it’s rambunctious & wild. It’s unhinged & without hesitation. Then we come to the bridge. The bridge to me is the “eye of the hurricane” it’s nothing but vocal & percussion that features a begging ultimatum from the narrator of the story. I wanted the song to reflect life, to have those moments of clarity that we all reflect on after & before the fact before we ultimately buy into the thing that’s destroying us one more time.

We’re now a week int the release of this song that we poured so much love & life into & I’m floored by the response I’ve had for it! Many blogs, playlists, websites, have all reached out asking to feature it. So many people have shared & as of this second we are sitting around 25,000 streams on Spotify!

I’d like to thank any & all of you who were a part of this song:

Evan Michael & Kate Cosentino for helping to write it!

Joshua Gleave for producing & dealing with my crazy artist ideas in addition to bass, keys, synth, & program instruments!

Lester Estelle Jr. for lending his mad drum skills!

Cole Phillips for crushing the guitar!

Jonathan Roye for mixing it so perfectly!

Mike Monseur for mastering!

&

OneRPM for distribution!

If you haven’t streamed or purchased “Just Another Late Night” I’ll drop the link to it here:

STREAM IT HERE!

As always, thank you for reading! Thank you for allowing me to do the art that I love & be the artist I am!

I’d also love to know your thoughts on the song & how it relates to you personally, so feel free to leave a comment below!

Much love to you all!

-C

Object Writing: Polaroid

We’re born into this world like a freshly snapped Polaroid; the image of who we are & what we contain takes time to develop. Sometimes, as this is happening, whether out of love or selfishness, people will try to point out our details to us, to guess or shape the image even as its still sits lost to obscurity. We, ourselves, often end up covering certain parts of the image as we violently shake to clear up the picture into what we hope it will be. We grip more & more tightly, pressing our fingers into the swirling black, preventing pivotal parts of our picture from developing properly. But lessons take time, nobody perfects life over night, especially if those lessons contain the parts of our beautifully composed photo that we’ve spent the longest amounts of time with our thumb pressed over.

Object Writing: Just Another Late Night

Reckless, we might’ve been. we were fearless, cause back then we didn’t care that we would be growing older, playing with aches & age, maybe time made us bolder & young love can’t help but fade away. But still you end up at my place every, single time. You’re always coming back my way when no one’ll hold you tight. I still save space for you, though I should make room for someone that’ll love me right, not just another late night. Tired, but I could sleep, you’re leaving me wired cause trying to keep a handle on the way that you need to use me. God, I must be insane. Somehow you phase right though the walls that I think I’ve made. But still you end up at my place every, single time. You’re always coming back my way when no one’ll hold you tight. I still save space for you, though I should make room for someone that’ll love me right, not just another late night. Please leave the keys with me next time you run cause I need to close the door on us. But still you’ll end up at my place every, single time. You’re always coming back my way when no one’ll hold you tight. I still save space for you, though I should make room for someone that’ll love me right, not just another late night.

Blog: No Hate Like Christian Love

Hold up, hold up, hold up. I know a few of you have read that title & immediately gone into defensive mode & have a paragraph long comment ready, but how about we hear what I’m trying to say first? I think it’s also worth noting for the assumed bias of this blog that I myself identify as Christian, though I am far beyond the point of disillusionment with the church at this point & if we’re being honest so are a lot of people these days.

America has seen a drastic drop in new christians or individuals attending churches in the last few decades but for the life of a lot of the religious leaders they can’t seem to figure out why. They blame it on the media, they blame it on culture, on politicians, on x, y, z, but never seem to want to look internally. You see, so many of us who no longer find ourselves as congregational regulars grew up in churches; we grew up going to Sunday school & vacation bible school & lived through all of the “keep the Christ in Christmas” ish & those who remain in the hallowed halls don’t seem to understand why we don’t want to go back or actively attend those churches any longer. The answer is a simple one, we learned about Jesus, his way, his light, & we didn’t see his teachings being implemented, practiced, or reflected by those within the church, so we left. Truly I say unto you the most Christ-like individuals I’ve even known have a strong distain for the church.

To put this all in perspective the statement in the title above has become one that I’ve seen expressed more & more frequently over the last few years, “no hate like christian love.” If you as someone who identifies as such don’t see that & immediately see the problem I hate to break it to you, but I think you’ve missed the point of your religion. Christianity has become so synonymous with hate, bigotry, white nationalism, fascism, misogyny, homophobia/transphobia, xenophobia, islamophobia, racism, etc. that the statement “no hate like christian love” rings true to very large groups of individuals. So much of our culture’s pain & modern reliance unfortunately owes itself to years & years of religious trauma & continued attempts at oppression.

In recent years the US political climate has become more & more divisive swinging aggressively more & more towards a fascist right. Those leading that charge are claiming to do so in the name of God, they say God is disappearing from a country that was never a theocracy & founded itself on the principles of religious freedom, meaning freedom from others forcing their religion views onto you, & want to bring America back into its “former greatness.” A “former greatness” that holds a lot of pain, suffering, & lack of rights for those who find themselves in minority groups. Tell me, where are the teachings of Jesus in that? The campaigns of these Christian Nationalists go entirely against the teachings of Christ. They actively shun & vilify the “foreigner,” the needy, the immigrant, the refugee, the less fortunate, the different, the other. They propose laws to limit rights of these individuals, they strip back protections in place that give these individuals a chance at having an equal life to them, & they do so all in the name of “christian love.”

Often there is a bubble created around a church community, a church home if you will. This is a place, in theory, meant to allow you to feel love unconditionally from your fellow christians, to have support systems in place that allow you to express your pains & burdens freely & get support while remaining unjudged. I have never felt more judged or more completely ostracized than by members of the church who often use their born again status as a means to justify their hatefulness when things don’t fit their preconceived mold. Now people are looking around & seeing a congregation that reflects one way of being, one style of life, often limited diversity from a nationality, race, sexuality, gender identity, & social class & finding it lacking. They see themselves & the world more represented in the faces of their peers & diversified friend groups than they do in the pews on any given Sunday.

The bubble also often acts as a safe haven for abusers. We all know, very effectively the crimes of the Catholic church, thanks to the journalists at Spotlight out of Boston, but this guard isn’t limited to the catholic church. I’ve heard innumerable stories regarding the handing of abuse within the church. Higher ups will make excuses for abusers & protect them at all costs instead of hearing out the side of the abused. They refuse to acknowledge the often ugly side of humanity & outwardly condemn these actions that overall harm the community at large & weaken the bonds of a church.

The complete & utter lack of critical thinking is also a major deterrent for those looking to join the church. So much of the counter culture that christians justify with the bible has either been altered completely for political agendas (see the RSV translation of 1946) or completely lacks historical context. There also happens to be a lot of picking & choosing which verses to follow & which to omit completely from the modern dichotomy because “things were different back then.” It’s blatant hypocrisy & when faced with facts alternative to the fiction they’ve painted in their heads or carried their whole lives they refuse to even consider the possibility of them no matter who it harms or what damage it does to their brothers & sisters in Christ or the world at large.

If we as Christians were truly following the ways of Christ we’d embrace those around us with open arms, celebrating what makes them different & unique. We’d help refugees & immigrants unconditionally. We wouldn’t hoard wealth & covet riches when so many are doing everything in their power just to have a scrap of food to eat. We’d lovingly take preventative measures to insure that our neighbors & those at higher risks can remain safe & disease free. We’d recognize the disconnect & disadvantages certain communities & minorities have systematically & do everything in our power to overturn them. We’d be voting for people who want to help the less fortunate, not ostracize them. We’d be embracing our children for who they are whole heartedly not kicking them out of our homes or shaming them. I personally believe that Christ would be disgusted by the modern church & those in attendance & clearly a growing majority feels the same way. I think we need to take "no hate like christian love” as a major red flag & find ways to correct course immediately, taking proactive measures to correct the damage done to those who are bearing the brunt of the “love.”

I hope this blog wasn’t too much of a rant or a finger wag, I also hope most of you made it through this. This world deserves better, the people in our communities deserve better. I know at the end of the day we’re all human but if the saying goes “they’ll know we are christians by our love” then it should be love people know christians by, not the over abundance of hate radiating from the steeples.

I hope you all have a great weekend,

As always, much love to you all!

-C

Object Writing: Cinnamon

The ancients said it contained good fortune, that it would whisk your dreams & abundance from their hidey holes & send them careening towards you, a cosmic hack to elevate your vibrations & magnetize your highest good. I can understand why, just the touch of its soft warm caress against my olfactory centers fills me with bubbling comfort & an unbridled sense of security. Each tightly wound spiral of toasty brown bark can't help but curve a smile onto your face. Each homey flush spreads the promise of sanctuary across the tongue. Believe in it what you will but there's no denying the reassuring hospitality cinnamon seeps into our daily lives.

Blog: Make A Wish, Take A Chance, Make A Change, & Breakaway

Earlier this week I received a message from my friend Jared at Country Music Allies. He’s putting on a few shows this week, CMA week, & was asking if I would be willing to host the one on Friday (today) in his place. My initial reaction was an honest one, I’ve never hosted an event before & truly don’t consider myself to be amongst the great public speakers of the world so I was hesitant. He insisted that I would make a great host & that all I would be doing is introducing & not so much M.C.ing, so I told him I’d take the night to think about it.

The more I weighed the idea of hosting in my mind, the more uncomfortable it made me. I felt I wouldn't know what to say or that I’d make a fool of myself, but then my mind proposed the question “so what?”

It’s a simple question really “so what?” It really clears the air of anxiety & hypotheticals & creates way for logic to step in. So what if I screw it up & make a fool of myself? The people performing are lovely humans, some of which I know fairly well, they’ll definitely show me some grace, as will the audience who I’m sure will be primarily compromised of those within the queer community, especially if I’m honest in voicing my discomfort. Truly there is nothing to fear in accepting this role. So I did.

I texted Jared the following morning to tell him that the idea of hosting the event made me uncomfortable as hell which probably meant that I should do it. So tonight I guess I’m hosting an event! Let’s hope that come next week we don’t end up with another blog in the same vein of how I epically failed my callback a couple of months back only subbing out the “callback” for “hosting position.”

Additionally, I’ve had a lot of content come up this week around songwriting that lives in the same vein of thought. A writer who I follow & respect dearly said she spent 10 years in the industry writing songs that felt “meh” like they were good songs but nothing she was writing was great or moving the needle. She said the moment I stopped restraining myself & my thoughts was the moment I started writing great music. Her recommendation was that if you want to write a great song about a scenario or relationship you have to be bare. Go into a notebook & write unrestrained, uncensored about the topic until you feel you’ve purged your feelings thoroughly, then, once that is done, go back & find the sentences that make you say “oh, that’s too much” or “I could never say that out loud” & put that in your song! Those are the lyrics that end up connecting deeply to an audience.

If you haven’t noticed the common thread here is taking chances. This has been a week full of chance taking for me & those around be doing the same. Last night, my friend Chris Housman premiered a new single of his called “The Bible Belt” something he was incredibly nervous to play in public because it talks about all the ways he’s still recovering from how he was beat with “the bible belt,” it received ravenous applause. I went downtown to try & convince people to pre-save my upcoming single in exchange for a keychain, basically dry soliciting, something that makes me very uncomfortable. I then, while I was walking around, ended up doing a “finish that line” karaoke thing that got me a few more followers as well!

The point is take chances! Do the thing that makes you uncomfortable, be bold & unafraid to muck it all up! Put yourself out there, the worst people can say is no…I guess aside from cussing you out. But what I seem to be finding is that if you are who you are, unapologetically, the right people will find you, the right people will hear what they need to hear, & you’ll go so much farther in life & be so much happier in the long run.

Keeping it brief today as, like I said above, it’s CMA week & it’s packed out for me!

If you’re in Nashville this weekend come find me! I play at The Bowery Vault tomorrow evening around 9PM & will probably just be around also!

I hope you have the most fantastic of weekends!

Be safe, much love to you all!

-C

Object Writing: Shaker

Into the sparkling stainless steel cylinder go the ingredients to my elixir. Juices, spirits, bitters, syrups, & liquors are all viable option, each diverting the path towards a different finished outcome with every ounce I pour into the potion brewing below. The fiery sting of alcohol ignites my nostrils as I topple in the base spirit, finishing off my pre-shake list of ingredients. I top the unmixed shaker off with ice pilfered from my freezer before caping it & violently shaking its contents to & fro. The tumbler grows colder & colder in my hands with each pass the drink makes in its vessel; the ice within being reduced to chips, the mixture no longer a series of separate items, now a combined refreshment to be enjoyed. I strain my libation out from its metal origin into a new, crystaline home, adding the simplest of garnishes before settling into the couch with my eloquently constructed nightcap.

Blog: Yet Another Blog About Why We Still Need Pride

The past few years anytime June has rolled around I’ve written blogs regarding why Pride Month is still a relevant & important thing. Each time I write this blog I hope it’ll be the last time I have to but each year it seems to be more & more in demand. If you are a frequent reader of these snapshots my brain dumps in the form of weekly blogs, as always thank you, but you may have also read a lot of what will be discussed going forward in this blog regarding the state of LGBTQIA+ politics.

A few months ago I wrote a blog about the egregious, slimy, blatantly trans & homophobic attacks legislators are attempting &/or succeeding to legalize around the US. I guess a bit of this will be an update on all of that in addition to the new wave.

Unfortunately the “Don’t Say Gay” bill passed in the state of Florida. The DeSantis imposed law restricts & even outright bans the mere mention of anything remotely LGBTQ in Florida public schools. That includes teachers discussing their same sex partner or spouse, the same sex parents of one of their students, etc. It creates a dangerous lack of support around same sex education & limits the scope to which so many important figures in history achieved greatness in spite of the odds. It perpetuates the stigma of those members of the LGBTQIA+ community being “other” & is harmful not only to those students that identify as such & feel they can’t be themselves openly around their peers as well as the already systematically intrenched cast divides of this country. Fortunately the part of the bill requiring teachers to report any LGBTQIA identifying students did not pass & I have a hard time believing the bill will stand in light of the massive walkouts, speeches, etc. being executed by those whose schools have been affected.

In addition to Florida’s BS there’s also Texas’s that we need to discuss.

Governor Abbot’s attacks seem to have the trans community at the heart of his hatred. Over the last year he has tried to make it a crime for parents to support their trans children labeling it as child abuse & has been sending out Child Protective Services to investigate any & all claims of parents outwardly embracing their child’s identity. Luckily this executive order is currently on hold due to a federal court case blocking the order. That hasn’t stopped Abbott though who earlier this week made it legal for healthcare workers in Texas to refuse treatment to trans individuals.

On top of that, on the federal level we need to talk about Roe v. Wade.

Whether you stand on the 30% side who want to ban abortion or the 70% who don’t is not that aspect of Roe we need to discuss today. Roe v Wade was a case won on the grounds of privacy just like Griswold v Connecticut (right to contraception), Loving v Virginia (right to interracial marriage), Lawrence v Texas (banning of sodomy laws), & Obergefell v Hodges (right to same sex marriage). Each one of these cases stands as the law of the land because the losing party infringed upon the privacy of private citizens in their own homes. Let’s just look at those last two shall we Lawrence & Obergefell. Each of these specifically targets the LGBTQ community. If over turned they would effectively leave the rights of those individuals up to states, there would be an overnight witch hunt for those opposing to turn in their LGBTQ neighbors. I also understand that, in this case, all of this is hypothetical & you may be sitting on the other side of your computer, device, whatever, saying “oh, they’d never overturn those” but each of the Supreme Court Justices who are siding with the overturning of Roe v Wade said they had no intention of touching Roe in their confirmation hearings as well. Every. Single. One. Which is an impeachable discussion for another time.

What is my point in all this? My point is that there is still a long, long way to go. This country has a long, long way to go before those members of the LGBTQIA+ community have the same God given rights & treatments as their CIS/Het peers. That’s not even mentioning the atrocities exhibited outside the US towards members of the community.

I also don’t mean to be a downer, Pride is meant to be a celebration of who you are & what makes you special. It is a festival of love & acceptance & what it means to be human.

If you are a member of the community or an ally, I wish you all a Happy Pride Month! To everyone else, Happy Pride Month to you as well & ask that you take the time to get to know someone who identifies as LGBTQIA+, & I mean really get to know them. Come to the table with an open mind & heart & you may be surprised not only by what you learn about others but also about yourself. If you’re someone who uses the good book to harm or limit the rights of others you are no true christian nor do I believe that you’ve actually read your bible or know its history of alteration for personal & political gain.

I know tonight’s blog was a little on the heavier side content wise but I want you all to know I love you deeply just as you are & that you always have a friend & ally in me. Family doesn’t have to be restricted to the one you’re born into, there are people in this world who will embrace you whole heartedly & authentically, they’ll help you patch the pain & mend the heartache. You are absolutely as you were meant to be. You are loved, you are worthy, & you are enough.

Much love to you all,

-C

Object Writing: Fireflies

The mid-summer haze plants the seed of their terrestrial bound, celestial display. Lofted delicately into the air by humidity & paper thin wings they begin their musing spectacle of courtship. They paint ever shifting, continuously rearranging constellations upon the evening air, flashing their messages of availability & attraction, pining for those hidden in the vivacious green below. These fireflies are the first signal of summer; the first indicator that Ostara has ended her great, bounding resurrection & has passed her revitalized bounty off to Sol, lengthen the days & bleeding warmth into night. I’ve always been overjoyed by the presence of these, their comfort hangs in the air along side the heat of the day, enrobing me in a truly childlike sense of imagination & wanderlust. It’s my greatest pleasure to know them & an indescribable gift to witness their light.

Blog: The New American Dream

Earlier this week, after the horrific events in Texas & the egregious mishandling & lack of policy change that went along with it, a friend of mine posted a prompt on their story. They were asking any one of their followers to give any insight that they had on how to legally bow out of the United States. I can already feel some of you turning off after reading that but this is a genuine sentiment shared by much of those the Millennial & Gen Z age range. We feel this country is sliding further & further away from the ideals & policies we’d like to see in place & is being continuously run by outdated, out of touch politicians. Whether you agree with that statement or not is beside the point, it’s fact.

We live in a country where Millennials are still being forced to rent well into their thirties because the housing market is outlandishly high & wages are outlandishly low. We live in a country where people use seeking medical help is a very last resort & even then people would often rather suffer than go into outrageous medical debt. We are one of the only “first world” countries without Universal Healthcare, Paid Medical Leave, Paid Vacation Time, Proper Work/Life Balance, Comprehensive Gun Laws, Prioritized Free Education Systems, Etc. And those, especially in the older generations, who are happy with the state of things because it does them no harm, don’t understand how we can look at countries like The UK, Canada, Australia, Singapore, Japan, New Zealand, those in Scandinavia & majority of The EU, etc., & want for that.

So often the narrative in this country is that we are free, so so free, but free to what? The truth of the matter is that most Americans have no idea what true freedom is. True freedom is not the ability to do something, it is the ability to not have to worry about something. To not have to worry about choosing your health, their job, or going into debt, to not have to worry about getting shot in your school, place of worship, grocery store, etc., to not have to worry about being able to afford education that will propel you into jobs that aren’t soul sucking, to not worry if the next day some lobbied politician will strip your rights away, to not have to worry if your work will allow you time to still see your friends, family, maintain a social life, etc. True freedom is bliss, not ignorant bliss, but having systems in place that allow for their citizens to live, not just be cogs in the capitalist machine.

The new American dream has become that of Exodus. We want so badly to get out because we see that the storm is only getting worse along the horizon. We see how people live, truly live, in other countries & we envy that. I don’t profess to have the answers to the current American problems because they are innumerable from what I can see, I’m just here to inform, to recognize a common thread that I see becoming more & more apparent.

I, myself, have had this idea at the forefront of my brain. The impending & current doom of the states has me looking furiously for exits, seeing where I can be grandfathered into citizenship, who offers college programs, etc. Do I want to leave America? No, if I had a choice to stay & fix everything or leave I’d gladly pick the former but it’s becoming more & more apparent that we may have slipped far beyond repair.

You want to save this country? Stop electing self righteous, hateful nut jobs who are so out of touch with the people they represent & start electing people that care for the future of America, not its present.

I don’t want to have to leave this country but I fear that is where we are rapidly heading. I know a lot of you my age who are reading this feel the same & I wish I had an easy answer for you all, but I don’t. I think this November will be the deciding line for a lot of people with the threats against America’s established laws via privacy (Roe V. Wade, Oberfell V. Hodges, etc.), the fight to finally have some form of gun control, & the continued marginalization happening, I fear if this election season goes poorly the mass exodus will be in full swing.

I hope you have a great weekend & don’t weigh too heavily on all this, there is always a way out & always hope, keep pressing on.

-C

Blog: Why You Should Be Pre-Saving Releases From Independent Artists

Hiya!

I’m sure if many of you are like myself you often find yourself faced with an artist friend or an artist you follow prompting you to pre-save their upcoming release. And if you’re also like myself the first thing to usually go through your mind is “why would I do that? I don’t even know if the song is good or not yet.” Well, I’m here to tell you today, that doesn’t matter. Don’t worry, I’m also going to tell you why!

Back in the day, when people were still buying tracks/eps/albums/etc, (which if you’re still doing that, you’re a saint in the eyes of artists & writers) you could often preorder said piece of musical art & that made sense, because it’s like preordering a book or a game or whatever else you may be excited for! It gave the artist distributed the piece a leg up, especially where charts & sales are concerned.

How does this translate to our modern era of streaming?

Well, much like preorders, pre-saves give us as independent artists a leg up in an industry where the charts & playlists often favor the labels & the signed artists. It gives us a behinds the scenes way of saying “this is how many people are already interested in this song on day one, imagine how many more will be when you add it to your super exclusive editorial playlist!” And that counts EVEN IF YOU NEVER LISTEN TO THE SONG!!!

That’s right, you don’t even have to stream the song, the pre-save is enough!

I mean, by all means listen to the song because that’s somebody’s hard work they poured time, love, money, & effort into! It deserves to be heard! You never know, it may end up being your cup of tea too!

I have been hearing more & more independent artists vamping up massive pre-save campaigns just to get the attention of the editorial playlisters on the major music streaming platforms, & you know what, it’s working! Slowly but surely these artists are getting thrown onto major playlists in part because their songs deserve to be there, but a lot of the time because it got flagged as a song of interest simply from the number of pre-saves.

All of this is meant to say help independent artists out & pre-save their releases! It takes like 30 seconds to do & you could be a major boost to their career! In addition to, you know, being a good friend/supporter for those of us out here doing the thing all by our lonesome!

SPEAKING OF….

I have a new single that comes out on June 24th called “Just Another Late Night!” You’d be doing me a humongous favor by going in & pre-saving it to your streaming platform of choice or even all of them you’re a part of if you feel like going above & beyond! I’m going to post the pre-save link below, again, please take thirty seconds more out of the couple minutes you’ve set aside to give this a read & pre-save my next single! It’s a bop, I promise!

JUST ANOTHER LATE NIGHT PRE-SAVE LINK

Object Writing: Wick

It flickers delicately in the softly shifting air of my abode. As its warmth turns wax to liquid & then to vapor it expels scents of Spearmint, Texas Cedar, Rose, Palo Santo, Rosemary, Grapefruit, & Eucalyptus into the space around it. The aromatic mixture invigorates the senses of all who pass into the space, igniting a deep calm that puts the brain at ease & unwinds the tension of muscular stress. This candle is of my own design, a combination of all that which puts me in a place of hospitable comfort. It is a natural favorite that I savor endlessly despite having the means for its recreation at any given moment. The melted wax & its aroma put me at peace & give me a sense of home that I feel has escaped me for so long.

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Travel Blog: The United Kingdom-Part Three: There & Back Again

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Welcome back to my United Kingdom travel blog! If you’ve made it this far, congrats, you’re onto the last part!!! If you’re reading this like “last part?! whaaaa?!” then I invite you to go read through Part One & Two before returning to finish out this most epic of trilogies. You can find links to both here:

Part One

Part Two

All caught up? Great! Let’s move on to Part Three then!


Part Three:

There & Back Again


Day Ten

We departed Dumfries right around 8 AM, our rental was due back in Camden by 5 PM & we had a long drive down from Scotland through England to make. We unfortunately didn’t get to say goodbye to Carolann on our way out but Ali & the rest of the crew definitely gave us the royal send off.

Our first stop on the way down is a must hit if you’re traveling up or down the Northwest coast of England, Tebay. I was first introduced to Tebay by the Liverpool/Manchester gents who played RNLI Park Fest with me back in 2019 who try to make it a stop anytime they play up north. Tebay, while technically a small English town, is also a service center. For my American folks think a truck stop but way way way way way nicer. Tebay Services, Farmshop, & Kitchen has two locations; one northbound, one southbound. It is exactly as the name states, a service stop in addition to a restaurant & shop. The beautiful thing about Tebay, aside from the immaculate view it offers, is that all of the food served comes from within only a handful of miles from the stop.

We arrived around 10:30 AM & breakfast was still in full swing so we went the full on English Breakfast route! I had Scrambled Eggs, Beans, Cumberland Sausage, Roasted Tomato & Mushroom, Haggis, Bacon, A Raisin Scone w/ Orange Marmalade, & A Drip Coffee. Evan did the same sans Mushroom, Scone, & Haggis & also got a Pork Sausage. After taking in breakfast with a gorgeous view of the English countryside we walked around their Farmshop! It’s really almost three shops put into one. There’s a genuine market selling uncooked ingredients from around the area, there’s a local clothing/item section, & there’s a section dedicated to foods distinctly from The United Kingdom including small batch chocolatiers, distillers, bakers, etc.

By the time we’d finished up & were getting ready to go the hand pie stand had opened up so we grabbed a few of those for the road. I got a Chicken & Mushroom Pie, Evan got the Onion & Cheese. We grabbed gas & a few drinks & down the road we went towards London.

To be entirely frank I was quite nervous about driving in London, especially since we’d be arriving around rush hour. When I picked up the rental our drop off options were Camden, Tower Heights, Gatwick, or Heathrow & I didn’t feel like driving an hour outside of London just to spend an hour & a half on the tube with luggage felt economical, so Camden it was.

I was pleasantly surprised by how easy I found driving in London rush hour, it was far easier than New York City even with the inclusion of driving on the other side of the road. We did end up dropping off the car a little late but the agency couldn’t have cared less. From there we walked to Euston Station & hopped the southbound train to Covent Gardens back to Victoria & Rhys’s.

Seeing as it was now around 6 PM the hunt for dinner began. We were presented with the idea of Seven Dials Market, a coalition of street food vendors that had come together in an old cucumber & banana storage warehouse, a theme that is still prevalent throughout. At Seven Dials Market you can order drinks from the bar to be delivered to your table but as far as food goes you need to go to the different stalls to picket what you want. I grabbed an Iced Masala Chai from Chai Guys & we began the task of picking which of the over a dozen food options we wanted.

Evan & I decided on splitting a few things. We were really craving a burger so we went downstairs to Truffle but found that we couldn’t decide between The Truffle Burger (Beef & Bacon Patty w/ Raclette Cheese, Crispy Onions, Fig Jam & Truffle Mayo) or the Cheeseburger (Aged Beef/Bacon Patty, Cheese, Pickles, Lettuce, & Truffle Sauce) so we got both in addition to some Truffle Parmesan Fries. On top of the burgers there was also a dumpling stand that was calling our names so we got an order of Pork Bao & Pork & Chive Dumplings from Yum Bun! All of the food was outstanding & for dessert Victoria got us all a Chocolate Hazelnut Finger Doughnut from Longboys to share!

Practically bursting at this point we waddled back to the flat, stopping at Tesco to grab some snacks (yes that includes Strawbs) & drinks to enjoy later on when we sat down to watch Shutter Island before calling it a night!

Day Eleven

In desperate need of a workout after almost a week without we joined Victoria at Barry’s Soho for their 8:45 Full Body class. Following my “I can’t workout in the morning rule unless I’ve had caffeine & food prior” I ended up booking double floor. I knew running wasn’t going to happen. I’d done a touch of carb loading before just to be safe though, having gone downstairs to Tesco to pick up an energy drink & some fresh baked goods from their untouched morning selection. Scarfing down a soft pretzel & a croissant along with an apple the three of us walked to Barry’s (Rhys went once again with his trainer).

The class was hard! It was a circuit set meaning it built. Four total exercises per circuit, each targeted for a minute at as many as possible before combining them for two. We ended up walking back separate from Victoria because she was in need of a shower & we had planned to wait until we got back to the flat to bathe.

Along the way we had decided that another caffeine source was necessary so we walked over to WatchHouse. The barista recommended the Iced Peruvian Pourer so that’s what we got! The coffee had a nice almost bread & jam taste, very similar to my Raisin Scone w/ Orange Marmalade the morning before. It smacked! We walked back the rest of the way before showering & dressing for the day.

We had been prompted with a text of “Borough Market tomorrow?” on our drive back to London the day prior. Victoria had a mind for a Sausage Roll from The Black Pig & I, for one, am always down for a trip to Borough Market so that is where our pre-afternoon began!

We walked the same path that Evan & I had taken the week before; past St. Paul’s, over the Millennium Bridge, by The Globe. Borough Market was a zoo! There were far more people there this Saturday than the one prior which was surprising seeing as the previous had been Easter weekend.

We made a beeline for Bread Ahead as our glowing doughnut review had left V&R wanting. I returned for the Blackcurrant Cheesecake, Evan for the Pistachio, V&R split a Blueberry Jam, thought naturally they all got passed around between the four of us.

Rhys got Cod & Chips from Fish!, Victoria went after her Sausage Roll, & Evan & I got in line for the special at Northfield Kitchen, an Aged Corned Beef Sandwich on Rye with Pickles, Spicy Mustard, Swiss, & Cole Slaw. We all sat around on a barricade munching on our lunch & sipping Prosecco Punch but heading over to hop the Uber Boat back up the river to Westminster.

V&R headed back to the flat but Evan & I decided to continue on back to Soho to hit up Carnaby, Regent, & Bond. We wafted in & out of a few shops, most of which clearly didn’t get the memo that the weather was nice out because they were blasting the heat like it was midwinter. After mostly coming up dry in our shopping escapades we ended up at Scotch & Soda where I almost bumped smack into Tom Felton & his girlfriend.

I have had an obsession with this sweater that was shown in one singular scene in one of the later seasons of a show that used to be on called “Penny Dreadful.” It’s an oversized button shoulder turtleneck sweater & while I still have yet to find something exact, I did manage to find two button shoulder sweaters at Scotch & Soda that worked for me! I was ecstatic to discover them & purchased them immediately & naturally I wore one of them to dinner later! However, if you or a loved one know where I can find my oversized button shoulder turtleneck sweater, please don’t hesitate to let me know!

Post shop we took ourselves a little nap, having woken up at 7:30 AM & walked hither & yon. It was about 6 PM by the time we’d made it back to the flat & we he had a 9:30 dinner reservation at Frog by Adam Handling to look forward to! A glass or two of red wine made that slip into a nap very, very easy.

I’d made the executive decision to try to get to Frog about thirty minutes early, not because I thought they’d squeeze us into our reservation earlier, but because I thought they’d squeeze us into Eve, their companion bar…which is exactly what they did!

Eve is a cocktail bar that makes excellent use of its upstairs neighbor, Frog. The premise behind Eve is that they push the boundaries of craft cocktail using ingredients that would otherwise be wasted from the restaurant above, going as far as having a lab present to distill & infuse certain ingredients into their drinks.

When you’re seated in the stained glass anointed underground bar you are greeted with a welcome cocktail to cleanse the palette, this night is was an Apple Daiquiri. Bright, refreshing, & full of spring! I then proceeded to order the Tiki-Ero, a Clementine & Banana Peel infused Rum drink paired with Allspice, Coconut, & Lime. It was revitalizing & forward while still being warm & comfortable. We were then ushered upstairs for dinner service.

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You ready for it?

Dinner at Frog started off in the normal tasting menu way, with snack courses! The thing to remember here going forward is that Frog is centered around tradition ingredients found within the UK, in fact the “menu” includes a map marked with the places each of their star ingredients were gathered from. Now, back to the snack.

The first of the snacks was a twist on Eggs & Bacon served in a ceramic eggshell nestled into a bed of straw with dry ice concealed underneath. When presented water was offed to the bed causing it to “fog” the table. In addition to the breakfast staples the custardy dish also contained Maitake Mushrooms otherwise known as Hen-of-the-woods. Adorable.

The second of the snacks was reminiscent of a Cucumber Sandwich. It presented as a one-two bite Tart filled with little Jellied Cucumber Drops, Edible Flowers, Dried Oyster, & Caviar. I’m not usually one to toot the horn of cucumber but this little tart was so full of life its hard no to! Springy, salty, savory, while still maintaining its effervescence!

The following dish, if I’m being honest, was my least favorite of the snacks, that’s not to say it was bad by any means though. It was Black Cod, a staple fish of British cuisine, served as a mandala’d Cracker. The spokes of its black wheels were hollow offering a very pleasant mouth feel & crunch!

The final snack was a Beef Tartare, a dish that I feel can be rather polarizing to most. I personally am great fan of the Tartares of the world. This varietal contained a Crispy Wrapping, a crown of Edible Flowers, & Kimchi harkening back to its roots as originally a North East Asian dish followed by its rise in popularity throughout Europe in the 19th Century. The mince was soft & moist & that added crunch brought me back to my favorite setting of beef tartare, served atop bread!

Onto the main courses!

The first official course is one that I’ve been talking about for weeks now. It truly warmed my heart to the core & reaffirmed the reason I love the shared culture of food so much. Food is often the story of our lives. Fresh Bread was served along side four other plates. The first of these plates contained a Stuffed Chicken Wing. Boneless, a singular bite, juicy & supple on the inside with a crisp skin pinned in place with a barb & a rooster feather. The next to plates were spread; Fresh Butter with Chicken Cracklin’ on top & Chicken Pâté. Both were meant to be spread & enjoyed with the bread. The final plate contained a card. On this card sat a story. It said the following:

““My sister, the fussy eater that she is, would only want roast chicken every family Sunday lunch. But Mondays were my favourite-leftover roast chicken in a white, floury Scottish bun with loads of salted butter. Delish!

This dish is my take on the happy memories of that Monday morning roast chicken sandwich.””
— Adam Handling, Bread, Chicken Butter

This. This folks is why I love the culinary arts, because they are exactly that, an art. They are an expression of ones life story through the food that made them the person that they are today. It is the culmination of heritage, culture, trial & error, failures & successes, life, love, loss, & time. It speaks to us not through merely our eyes or ears but through each of our five senses. It tells a story in a single bite & expresses the unseen or unheard effortlessly.

Sorry for the rant, back to our scheduled programing.

Dish number two! I know right, how do we follow up the tangent I went on with that one? The second dish was an ode to the Tomato served in the form of a Gazpacho. The three stars of this dish were Tomato, obviously, Pepper, & Basil. The gazpacho was presented patiently waiting below a Tomato Crisp served with a Red Pepper Granache draped over. I think this may have been my least favorite of the course, not because it wasn’t an amazing expression in its own right but simply because my personage tends to have an aversion to Bell Pepper.

The third course was simply titled “All About The Sturgeon” & much like the bar hidden beneath Frog, it too sought to use different parts of the fish to great success. The common sturgeon having been a popular choice specifically for its caviar is considered a “Royal Fish” meaning that they, along with Whales, are the property of the British Monarchy when in sovereign waters, much like Swans. This dish was absolutely one of my favorites of the evening.

Sat prim upon a Heart-shaped Waffle was a dollop of Sturgeon Mousse, topped with Sturgeon Caviar, & covered, in its entirety, by Maple Syrup. This dish was so complex in its flavor profile while still being entirely familiar. It blended salty, sweet, savory, all on the most perfect of levels, allowing each to take up battlements on the pallet & wax & wane over the who had control. Each bite a new battle always resulting in the consumer’s favor.

Course four was another favorite. I feel like I keep saying that, but y’all, this meal was truly exceptional! A Scallop from the Orkney Isles up off of the northern point of Scotland swimming in a Foam Emulsion & Herb Reduction featuring prominent flavors of Za’atar & tap root, specifically an assorted shaving of Rainbow Carrots. The dish had a very nice heat to it without being overbearing. It was earthy & smokey without compromising the natural citrus notes of the scallop. Absolutely wonder!

Next came a course with yet another card attached only this time it wasn’t a note or a story. Course five was a spoon full of Duck covered in freshly shaved Black Truffle & served on a plate of beach stones with a picture of a very satisfied looking black lab named Stanley. In the photo Stanley is standing overtop a bowl filled with freshly foraged black truffles. These were Stanley’s truffles & his hard work was being recognized in glorious fashion along with I hope heaps of belly rubs at home. I’m always a sucker for fresh truffles, especially when served with water fowl & a picture of a large dog. The spoonful unfortunately didn’t last too long seeing as it was a one to two biter, but that’s my only true complaint revolving around it.

Next we were back to Cod, only this time served as a filet, not as a cracker. Lemongrass reduction formed a moat the fillet itself. I wish I could recall the what made up the remainder of the dish, from the crispy wafer on top to the puree that elevated the fish out of the reduction. My notes mention something about there being Grape in the dish but I think between the wine & still fawning over Stanley being the goodest boy it’s been lost in translation a tad.

Course seven came with two options; Wagyu Beef with Hen-of-the-woods or Lamb with Sweetbread, & Morels. We went with both each ordering one or the other then swapping not only plates halfway through but also the paired wine. I’m going to go in order of my tasting starting with the Beef.

Served Medium Rare the British Wagyu came with the aforementioned Hen-of-the-woods Mushrooms in addition to some grilled onions & an Au Jus made from Beef Tongue. The steak was incredibly tender & truly melted in your mouth with the inclusion of the Tongue Aus Jus. I also really enjoyed the little stenciled leaves that were served along the side of the plate, separating out the vegetables. It was then my turn with the Lamb.

The Lamb was definitely the more eloquent of the pair at least as far as presentation goes. It included a Morel Reduction along with a few stocks of Asparagus. The slight gaminess of the Lamb lended itself wonderfully to the earthy/springy clash the mushrooms & the asparagus brought. I think between the two I preferred the beef, though Evan preferred the Lamb. I wouldn’t have been mad to receive either though. With savory courses now wrapped we moved on to dessert!

The first of the dessert courses brought Britain’s favorite springtime veggie to the forefront. Rhubarb. Appearing in the form of a Rhubarb & Wasted Wine Sorbet served alongside a Fresh Whipped Creme. The tart bouncy rhubarb was brought well into balance by the presence of the cream & it made for a very pleasant dessert/palette cleanser!

The final course of the evening, pre-dessert snack course, was a Yoghurt Cheesecake topped with little spots of Apricot & a serving of Lemon Thyme Sorbet. Another mellow dessert it was the perfect end cap for the warm spring night. Then came the snacks.

As I’ve mentioned before in other tasting menu blogs, it appears to be customary to end the evening with another snack course, just as the evening is started with one, Frog was no exception. They served what they call their Petit Fours…though there were five. (And yes I know Petit Fours refers to bitesized desserts, not the quantity of the bite sized desserts.)

First up, served as a pair, were a simple Blackberry Jelly Gumdrop & a White Chocolate Frog Truffle filled with Yuzu. The jelly bite, as I stated above, was simple, none offensive, but carried with it a subtle charm. Their dashing little frog companions was citrusy with soft floral undertones.

Next on the list were the Chocolate & Miso Tarts. I am always a huge fan of the combinations of Miso & Chocolate. The umami of the miso really lends itself to the bold sweetness of the ganache-y chocolate. It had a nice give before finishing off with the crust.

Our final in restaurant dessert was the Strawberry & Cream Possett. Unlike the earlier egg custard dish this one was served in an actual eggshell instead of a ceramic one. It was a sweet little twist on the traditional “strawberries & cream” formula that made for a very nice introduction into the summer months coming ahead.

I regret to inform you that the last of the Petit Fours was not had by us. You see it was a take home item & in our more than now inebriated state we completely forgot that we had it on our walk home & left it in the fridge at the flat.

As I was writing all about this meal again & experiencing it vicariously through my words I had the following thought that I stand by adamantly. I would fly from Nashville to London just to dine at Frog again, turn right back around & come home. I would sit through 14+ hours of travel overseas just to spend another three house in this restaurant. That is the extent to which I recommend Frog by Adam Handling to you. If you find yourself in London or in The British Isles or hell, even in France, make the trip to London to eat here. Eat here before its well deserved two Michelin stars become three & this place is booked out for the next eternity. I promise you will not regret it or look back. The story of food that Adam & crew tell at Frog is that of many lifetimes converging to create spectacular art that fills you to your core. It is few & far between that the love gushes so freely from the likes of a tasting menu but I cannot overstate how beautiful an expression of food this place is. Run, do not walk to Frog.

I wanted to end this, our last full day in The UK with the note I wrote & sent to the Frog crew on the plane ride home.

Frog,

I wanted to pass along a thought to you. I know you neither asked for it nor is it by any means a slight or mark against you & your institution. I am also utterly aware that as someone who merely dabbles recreationally in the culinary arts I have no grounds to file suggestions based on your food. Again, not that you need it by any means, yours & your teams’ cuisine & masterful practice of the art form are up there in the highest of the upper echelons. What I can offer you is insight from one story teller to another. While I communicate with the world at large primarily through words, lyrics, music, & writing, yours is the craft of communication through food; you tell stories through experimentation, retellings of tradition, & personal connection. It’s that last bit that really struck me last night while having the pleasure of dining in your establishment. You see I have been fortunate enough to participate in many a tasting menu as life changing food is a true passion of mine. Today I find myself not so much discussing the items on your menu that I enjoyed most from a palette stand point but those which invoked a feeling of connection to you & your staff. In my many years of gallivanting the food scene I have never been presented with a story to accompany a dish, or I guess in this case a course. I’m sure at this point you realize I am talking about your “leftover” chicken dish. The subtle art of story telling is one that thrills me to the core & it was an honor to experience a slice of your life through the expression of love, admiration, & nostalgia you put into that. I applaud you on your candor & your vulnerability when openly sharing a shining glimpse into the food, events, & emotions that led you to cook the food that you do. In addition to this radiant moment, I also truly enjoyed the touch of perspective you injected into your truffle course with Stanley. You have created food that is deeply personal, not just to yourself but also to those involved in its construction & that is the true measure of great art. I am grateful for the experience & hope to have the fortune of dining with you all again very soon. These moments of passion & love are the subtle strengths that elevate you to the stars my friends, of course not discounting your impeccable preparatory skills, but I would be remiss if I did not express my hope that you continue to find places to insert them into the story that is an evening at Frog.

It is with the warmest of regards & deepest appreciation that I write you,

Your newest regular,

Charlie Rogers

Day Twelve

Even though all other COVID regulations for travel had been lifted at this point & even though both Evan & I are fully vaxxed & boosted US Citizens, we still had to get a COVID test to reenter the US no more than 24 hours before our flight.

Evan had scheduled us a 9 AM appointment to have a rapid antigen test done, we hadn’t gone to bed til at least 2 AM that same morning. In addition to lack of sleep we were hungover as all get out so crawling through Covent Garden to Soho at 8:45 was a struggle & a half.

Our tests were quick, only taking about 10 minutes total in the testing location, but once again we were in a facility with rude, entitled Americans.

I truly give Americans a bad rep in this blog series don’t I, or at least I have a knack for calling them out on their BS. I don’t mean to appear “greater than” it’s just, y’all, we have to be better.

Anyway, back to this rude American couple. They were both well in their late-60s & truthfully were not only rude to the French attendants at the clinic but also to us upon entering. They hadn’t made a reservation, an ongoing theme it seems, & were demanding to be tested asap. Luckily for them there had been a no show so they had tests available. The clinicians handled it much better than I would have too, I’d have told them to kick rocks & maybe plan ahead next time, have fun rescheduling your flight!

Now tested & still wildly hungover the daily hunt for coffee began. We decided to try a coffee shop just down the street from the flat called The Espresso Room. Ordering yet another Iced Drip I also was instructed to get an Almond Croissant, a pastry I had passed up a week prior at Monmouth. WHY DID I PASS UP THE ALMOND CROISSANT?! No one told me they were filled!!! This almond croissant was massive, like almost a foot long, & it was incredible. It has also instilled a new dopamine obsession for me, that of course being the almond croissant. Don’t sleep on her, she’s busin’.

We decided that a walk would probably help the hangover & the streets of Covent Gardens were completely deserted, so we went walkabout. On our voyage around the borough we stumbled upon a little courtyard that had a catholic church tucked in the back, St Paul’s Church. The exciting thing, to us, about St. Paul’s is that they had cats. Two absolutely stunning black cats that have been residents of the church all their lives & spend their days wandering Inigo Jones Garden. Even though we were only a day away from being home with our animals we had to stop & spend a little time with the kitties.

It had now become time to pack & prepare for our departure. Heading back to the flat we gathered our belongings, forgetting the breakfast offering from Frog, hugged V&R goodbye, & hopped the Piccadilly Line back to Heathrow.

From here the journey is pretty standard; security, snacks from duty-free for the flight attendants, one last smoked salmon sandwich for the road, a matcha latte, & finally boarding. We were sat in the same exact seats as our trip into the UK only this time the plan was stay awake at all costs. Remember folks, the rule is sleep overnight going East, stay the hell awake going West. I wrote the above note, did a bit of object writing, we caught up on Moon Knight & then proceeded to bing Heartstopper.

We arrived at JFK around 9PM EST ready to PTFO, unfortunately we still had to go through immigrations, customs, grab bags, hop into an Uber, & drive across Queens to our hotel just outside of LaGuardia, all of which turned out to be fairly painless.

We arrived at Aloft around 10:30 & were passed out, having had dinner from a vending machine, around 11.

Day Thirteen

We really only got around 5-6 hours of sleep, our flight out of New York was early, departing around 7 AM. We had to be in line for the shuttle by 4:30 AM & it was packed!

LaGuardia security was more of a pain than Heathrow & customs combined, so I’m glad we got there early.

There’s truly not that much more interesting to tell from here on out. We landed in Nashville at 8:30 CST, had to pay far too much for an Uber home, then stayed up all day to try & beat the jetlag…it didn’t work…


Afterward

If you’ve made it this far I’m grateful for you taking the time out of your day or night or whenever you’re reading this to do so!

Traveling, exchanging stories, customs, cuisine, art, music, & culture are the things that fill me with life. It is truly my honor to go one these adventures & share these experiences with you. I hope you gain something out of reading them & find them informative & or inspiring in one way or another.

I’d like to thank Victoria & Rhys for being so accommodating to us, The Donowhos for your years & years of love & support & willingness to help me & mine, the people of Dumfries for opening up your town & hearts so hospitably to me, & anyone I may have missed along the way. Shoutout to Ross for putting your sound & videography skills to use on my behalf, I can’t wait to show off the footage! Thank you to Evan for being the patient, easygoing travel companion you are! You all made this trip a joy & made my 30th one for the books.

From the bottom of my heart, thank you for taking the time to give this a read!

Much love to you all,

-C

End Of Part Three

End Of Blog Series For The United Kingdom

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