It’s the last week of the month, you know what that means! Demo time! This was the first song I wrote with Chuck Callahan & Will Duvall, I really dig it, hope you do too!
Press: CIMV CoVid Show
Recipe: Rye Cabbage Roll Ravioli in a Light Tomato Sauce
Trying something new today! Not going to write an extensive blog in front of my recipe because I absolutely hate when people do that! It’s like get to the point already!!!!!
RYE CABBAGE ROLL RAVIOLI IN A LIGHT TOMATO SAUCE
Serves: 6ish
INGREDIENTS:
RAVIOLI FILLING:
1-1 & 1/2 Pounds Corned Beef (Cooked)
1 Head of Cabbage (Steamed or Boiled)
1/4 Cup Spicy Brown Mustard
RAVIOLI DOUGH:
2 Cups All-Purpose Flour plus some for dusting
2 Large Eggs
6 Large Egg Yolks
Pinch of Salt
1 Tablespoon of Ground Caraway Seed
1 Teaspoon of Ground Yellow Mustard Seed
1 Teaspoon of Ground Brown Mustard Seed
SAUCE:
1 8oz. Can of Petite Diced Tomatoes
1 Cup Beef Stock
1 Teaspoon of Yellow Curry Powder
2 Bay Leaves
1 & 1/2 Teaspoon Coriander
2 Teaspoons of Ground Yellow Mustard
1/2 Teaspoon of Ground Clove
1 Teaspoon Crushed Rosemary
1 Tablespoon of Tarragon
2 Teaspoons of Thyme
Dash of Ginger
Pinch of Nutmeg
Salt & Pepper to Taste
INSTRUCTIONS:
Created a well on a clean workspace with your all-purpose flour. Fill well with all of the eggs & egg yolks as well as your salt, ground caraway seed, & both types of ground mustard seed.
With a fork, incorporate the egg/spice mixture into the flour slowly. When it gets too thick for the fork switch to your hands. Kneed dough until all ingredients are incorporated & mixed thoroughly. If the dough starts to crack or is too dry, wet your hands with water & continue to kneed. If the dough is too wet of is sticking to the workspace, dust the area with flour & kneed until it’s the desired consistency.
Once your dough is properly combined wrap it in plastic wrap & refrigerate for at least one hour.
-ONE HOUR LATER
In a food processor combine equal parts corned beef & cabbage with your spicy brown mustard. Pulse until minced thoroughly, stop before you make it into a paste. Make sure all parts are combined well throughout & no large pieces remain. Set aside in a bowl.
Remove pasta dough from refrigerator & take off the plastic wrap. If it’s dried out a little don’t be afraid to kneed in a little water.
Scatter flour on your counter top & cut off a portion of your dough, this should be about a cups worth. On dusted surface, roll out dough til thin, if you have a pasta press around a 3-4 in thickness.
Cut pasta dough into desired shape, circles, squares, triangles, whatever you want but make them big enough to hold the filling. I personally use a ravioli tray for this, it just makes the process easier.
On one piece of cut dough place about a half tablespoon of the corned beef/cabbage filling in the center. Wet the edges of the dough with water, around the filling & top with another piece of cut pasta dough or fold one in half. Crimp the edges of the dough together. Dust with flour to prevent them from sticking together & set aside.
Repeat the above step until you run out of filling or run out of dough.
Fill a large pot with water & a splash of olive oil & bring it to a boil.
While your water is boiling, in a medium sized sauce pan combine your tomatoes, beef stock, tarragon, curry powder, bay leaves, coriander, mustard, clove, rosemary, ginger, thyme, nutmeg, salt, & pepper & whatever else goes into the sauce listed above that I’m sure I forgot & bring to a low boil. Cook for about 10 minutes.
Put your ravioli into the pot of boiling water & cook until they’re your desired level of softness. Then strain them into a colander.
In a bowl toss ravioli gently with your tomato sauce & serve!
Blog: Obliterated
About two & a half years ago I was sitting on the steps inside my former manager’s Hollywood apartment jotting lyrics into my notes app to a song, humming softly to each line that popped into my head, all while Danny sat less than three feet to my left at the computer programing a track. This song started as an idea I had in passing about those who had lost their love & never recovered, those whose hearts had been truly & utterly “Obliterated.” Fast forward to today when I’m having my first ever international feature release with an artist I’ve come to call a friend, Hektor Mass!
Don’t worry, don’t worry, I’m going to fill in the details from the last 2.5 years, I’m just currently in a bit of a state of disbelief that this song is finally seeing the light of day, especially in its current form!
If you don’t know songwriters there’s a little known fact about us that I think the outside world should know. Much like your Miranda Rights, anything you say or do can be used against you in a song. Thus many of us have hidden lists; in our phones, on our computers, in notebooks, on random post-it notes, of all the things we’ve heard in passing or all the thoughts that crossed our head that we think would make intriguing song ideas. As I mentioned above (see above), I had the idea for a completely decimated heart in passing. I’m not entirely sure how long it sat in my notes, but I don’t feel like it was there for that long before it got put to use.
The fire that ignited the idea for Obliterated, sonically, came from a song called “Lips on You” by Maroon 5. Danny, otherwise known as The Delta Mode, & I were driving around in Billie, our former manager’s, car & I had the aux. I put on the song & remarked about loving the production, to which Danny said “you know we should do something in the similar vein!” That was really all it took. We got back from BevMo & immediately got to work on the song.
I remember it not taking long to write. I remember it lyrically being a very stream of consciousness idea as Danny started to assemble the bones that would make up parts of the track you hear today. I’d pitch him lines, he’d tweak them lyrically or melodically or offer me another approach, but the song as a whole took about 30-45 minutes to write that day. I remember Danny & I had a long discussion regarding the use of the word “Obliterated” itself. At the time the idea was to do the song then potentially release it under The Delta Mode, so Danny’s concern was that German audiences, where he lives, wouldn’t be able to say/understand the word. My counterpoint was “good, make them look it up, drive more views to the song.” So the lyric stayed.
After the initial write was done Danny set up a small tracking mic in Billie’s closet. Truly a three foot by two foot space with a ceiling that sat about five and a half feet tall. For those that have never seen me in person, I’m a tall gent, 6’4” to be exact, so did I record vocals with my head cocked to the side, right up against the ceiling the whole time? You bet your ass I did.
The session itself happened at some point in the afternoon. I think I, myself, took a break & ventured down to Barry’s in Hollywood. By the time I got back Danny had taken Billie’s Ovation guitar & recorded a drop lick very reminiscent of Slash himself! Of course it had gone through compressors & filters galore to get from sounding like an acoustic guitar to an electric but parts of that guitar line are still present in the songs current form!
From there we had a very well produced demo, it got passed around amongst our friends & collaborators & everyone was head over heals for it, but I thought it was missing something. A second verse. See, at this point in time the song was just a verse, pre-chorus, chorus, & post chorus then it had a drop & would repeat everything save the verse a few times. I sat with the song for weeks trying to wrap my head around a second verse idea but I couldn’t for the life of me recapture the inspiration I had the afternoon it was written. So I took it to Evan Michael. Evan was very keen to write on the song, he loved the idea, the melody, etc. He was able to see the song from an outside perspective & find new angles to come at it with. And thus the second verse was born.
From here the song entered a series of disagreements. Danny would want one thing, I’d want another, we’d try to compromise to no avail; I am hardheaded after all. Danny himself claims to have done about a hundred different versions of the song but was never happy with it himself, so it was put on ice for about a year. The next time the song came up was to be under the newly minted Delta Mode, a group that expanded outside of just Danny & his brothers, in which the production would be cut back to the original demo, vocals would be recut, & the second verse would be added. However, it never came to be. Once again disagreements, misunderstandings, & life got in the way & the song was iced indefinitely.
Having finished that last paragraph I’d like to interject something here. Music is a creative medium, it is very personal. We all, as musicians & songwriters, want for our vision of a song, especially one that’s personal to us, to be our vision. It’s hard to let other people’s ideas in to that vision from time to time. No one is the bad guy in this situation, no one is to blame, we’re all on good terms still, there’s no need to take sides on any of this, it’s simply the music business. Got it? Okay, good. Onward we go.
Like I said, the song was on ice for quite a while. I had many friends asking when it’d be released or how & I honestly loved how much people loved the song, I knew it had to come out in some form. Enter fate.
A friend of mine from LA, who is a writer & artist began posting a lot of different things with a Spanish gent in LA. I was curious who he was as I’d never seen him in any of his stories in the past so I acquired. He told me his name was Hektor Mass a DJ/Producer in town from Barcelona whom he was showing around. I was told to check him out, so I did! I followed Hektor, added songs of his to my workout playlist, then we began to interact with one another over Instagram. This continued for a few months before I eventually ended up in Spain for Medusa during August of 2019 & who was the headliner for the opening party of Medusa Spain? Hektor Mass.
Unfortunately I missed Hektor’s set due to delays & I was honestly a little upset I wasn’t going to get to hear his music live or have the chance to meet him face to face. Call it manifestation or destiny or whatever but on the last night of Medusa who did I see at the bar? Hektor Mass. We struck up a brief conversation, I told him about “Obliterated” & he asked me to send his way. He loved the song but wanted to put his spin on it & make it his own.
From there I reconnected with Danny after about a year of distance & he sent over the stems for the original track and Hektor & I got to work in LA. Hektor wanted to keep a lot of the bones of the track, which we did, but this is the point in which we pulled Max Hurrell into the mix. Max is an incredibly talented young producer out of Adelaide, Australia who now resides in Los Angeles, someone I am also proud to call friend. Hektor, Max, & I sat down in small classroom studio at MI Hollywood & hashed out the song. We pulled up all stems, sorted through them, kept the ones we liked, ditched the ones we didn't, & began to move forward. At this point Hektor proposed a rewrite of the verse melody, siting that he wanted it to be more rhythmic with less space to give people something to dance to live. I struggled with the idea for a while, thinking I had to rewrite these lyrics I’d grown so attached to but in the end we were able to find a nice compromise! We pulled a lot of the same lyrics but added new ones in to fill the rhythmic chunks that were missing. We gutting the chorus instead opting for a verse, pre, chorus, verse, pre, chorus, drop, chorus, post chorus set-up!
Next we went to Capitol Records’ demo studios to retrack vocals. (Thanks Jenna!) It was honestly one of the most affirming yet grueling vocal sessions of my life. Max & Hektor were looking for a very specific vocal performance out of me, which after a while I believe they got! I sang higher & fuller than I think I have on most of my tracks & left the studio that night exhausted. I’m pretty sure we ended up cutting hours of just adlib vocal.
I went home to Nashville the next day but Max & Hektor continued working on the song over the next two to three weeks replacing a large chunk of the original track & adding a whole assortment of new melodic themes & ideas into the mix. I was blown away when they sent me the initial mix. Which we then sent off to Jonathan Roye here in Nashville to mix & then to Mike Monseur for master. Finally the song was complete!
After finalizing everything the song came out today, March 13th! There’s a lyric video here:
There are purchase links here:
Steaming Links:
Credits:
Performed By:
Hektor Mass, Charlie Rogers
Produced By:
Hektor Mass, Danny “The Delta Mode” Bernath, Max Hurrell
Written By:
Charlie Rogers, Danny “The Delta Mode” Bernath, Hektor Mass, Evan Michael
Drop Guitar By:
Danny “The Delta Mode” Bernath
Keys By:
Charlie Rogers, Hektor Mass, Danny “The Delta Mode” Bernath, Max Hurrell
Guitar By:
Danny “The Delta Mode” Bernath, Max Hurrell
Drums/Rhythm By:
Danny “The Delta Mode” Bernath, Max Hurrell
Synth By:
Hektor Mass, Danny “The Delta Mode” Bernath, Max Hurrell
Mixed By:
Jonathan Roye
Mastered By:
Mike Monseur
Blog: Tennessee Tornadoes
As I went to bed Monday night/Tuesday morning just after midnight, around 12:40, I received a text from my mother that said “my weather alarm just went off for a tornado just northwest of you.” My immediate assumption of this was that she was referring to the tornados in lower Kentucky, but I dutifully opened my Weather Channel app & checked. It showed me nothing, just severe thunderstorms, so I went to sleep. I was awakened two-ish hours later by my dog, Harvey, barking. Whether he was barking at the lightning or the wind or the tornado sirens (apparently they went off, I didn’t hear them at all & I had my window open) I wasn’t sure, but I went into the living room to get him to stop. While up I found Evan on his phone & who casually dropped “Five Points is gone” without looking away from his screen. I said “what do you mean Five Points is gone?” He said “a tornado came through between 12:30 & 1:30 & took it out along with a lot of East Nashville & Germantown.” Little did we know that was far from the extent of the damage. From then on I spent the next several hours going from news sites to socials to figure out exactly what had gone down.
I’m sure a lot of you have seen the extent of the damage the two EF3 tornados brought to Nashville, Clarksville, & the surrounding areas. As of this moment that I’m writing this we lost 25 of those that called Nashville home, not to mention those who are still missing. The property damage is extensive, emotions run high, but the spirit of Nashville thrives. If you didn’t know, Tennessee is know as the Volunteer State, a tradition that dates back to the War of 1812, and I can firmly say that tradition holds true to this day. The response by the people of Nashville & its surrounding counties was immediate. Shelters were set up, donation sites & hotlines were activated, ground teams were put into work, but, my friends, we’re going to need a lot of help recovering.
I didn’t want to write too much in this blog about myself or my experiences because I’m fine. My house is fine, my body is unbroken, I am fine. And for that I thank God because I have witnessed the alternative. I have a lot of people I call friends who were directly impacted by the storm; those who hid it out in their closets, behind doors, or in their bathtubs. I have friends who are still without power & running water. I have friends who lost everything but their story rings true with so many folks from Nashville, Mt. Juliet, Clarksville, & Lebanon. I wanted to make the focal point of this blog all about helping.
If you have the ability the volunteer your time head over to www.hon.org & sign up. They send out daily volunteer opportunities but be warned, they fill up quickly. If you know someone effected offer them shelter, offer to help them clean up, don’t wait around for a volunteer spot to open up just because you feel you have to. There are ongoing postings on facebook, instagram, twitter about certain areas requesting certain types of work, grab one of them.
If you have the ability to donate specific supplies the current needs are:
Hygiene Products
Trash Bags
Gloves
Box Cutters
Leashes/Collars
Canned Meat
Tarps
Water
Non-Perishable Snacks
Bread
Peanut Butter
Flashlights
Hand Sanitizer
Towels
Feminine Products
Coloring Books & Pencils
These items can be donated at:
The Community Resource Center located at 218 Omohundro Place
Cross Point Church of Bellevue located at 7675 Us-70S, Nashville, TN 37221
Second Harvest Food Bank at 331 Great Circle Road
If you’d like to donate money visit cmft.org or unitedway.org, any amount counts!
If you are in Nashville & are still in need of shelter or provisions there are shelters & food available at the following locations:
Centennial Sportsplex (222 25th Ave N)
East Magnet School (110 Gallatin Ave.)
Bridgestone Arena
American Legion Post 82 (3204 Gallatin Pike)
Cookeville Community Center (240 Carlson Drive)
Inner Light Yoga (2227 10th Ave S)
Resource Hubs can be found at:
Eastland Funeral Home-Food at Noon (904 Gallatin Ave)
Zeal Church (5807 Charlotte Pike)
Lee Chapel AME Church (1200 Dr. DB Todd Jr. Blvd)
Victory Baptist Church (1777 Tate Lane)
Uhaul is offering 30 days of free self storage to displaced residents.
The following East Nashville Restaurants are offering Free Food and/or Coffee:
Five Daughters Bakery
Nicolettos
Cafe Roze
Retrograde Coffee
Brightside Bakeshop
Bongo East
Grilled Cheeserie at Hunter’s Station
I have no doubt Nashville will come out the other side of this a stronger community than the already thriving one that existed here. It won’t be without its scars but I truly do believe in you Nashville. I believe in your incredible strength, endurance, & resilience. Fight on, love one another, & please do everything in your power to help each other.
I Believe In Nashville
New Acoustic Demo Of Neon Habit
Wrote this song in 2019 with Chuck Callahan & Jonathan Wyndham! Give it a listen, give it a download, let me know your thoughts!
Blog: A Case For Socialized Medicine In The United States
Hello! How’s your day going? Before we get started I wanted to preface this blog with something. It’s something small I promise, but I think it’s of the utmost importance in conveying this case. I, as the author of this here piece, want to challenge you to keep an open mind going into this. Now, I am fully aware that many of you that are reading this are doing so because you already have a left leaning bias. I doubt those who lean the opposite came across this blog title in their timeline, on my website, in google search results or wherever & were like, “yup, that’s it, that’s what’ll change my mind on this commie b.s.!” But if you are here under that belief system, welcome. This blog, if it’s headed the direction I believe it to be, will be more fact driven, not opinion. I will be doing my research as I go along, as well as fact checking everything I’m posting. I would advise you to do the same, lord knows how many opinions people are taking as fact these days. That being said I will also be using quite a bit of allegory for two reasons. One, it makes this a lot more interesting. I know none of you are here to read my research paper. Two, stories & outside examples are proven to latch onto people’s brains a lot better than facts served straight up. You feel me? Alright, that’s out of the way, shall we begin?
I don’t want to just jump into the concept of socialized medicine without first addressing the package in which it’s being shipped to the states. Democratic Socialism. I know that pairing of words just made a lot of you hiss & retreat like vampires from the sun, especially the “socialism” part, but I promise it’s not that scary. Let’s look at this in depth shall we? Well, not like Mariana Trench depth, more like snorkeling in Hawaii depth, because this is just going to be a basic outline. A lot of right leaning Americans are firm believers in Capitalism, a system that relies on trickle down economics to finance the masses. Think of it like a champagne fountain with the top glass being fed first followed by the next layer from the spillage of the one above it & so on & so forth. The problem that has arisen with this is that the top cup in this here allegory just keeps getting bigger & bigger & bigger catching all of the champagne & keeping it from the lower levels. On top of that, this top glass keeps telling the glasses underneath it that it isn’t taking their champagne, the glasses below it & the glasses that are coming over from the other tables are doing that. And the sad part is, the middle glasses are believing it despite the lowest glasses being the ones supporting the whole tower. This is where democratic socialism comes in, the goal of which it to return the glasses to an equal size & thus allowing the trickle down to actually happen.
But Charlie, you say, socialism is just another word for communism. Cue the Family Feud giant “X” on the board. Allow me to explain, if we have a line in which far right, big business capitalism is the left end of the spectrum & far left, everyone is equal despite the work they put in communism is on the right end of the spectrum, where do you think socialism fits in? Is it butted up against communism? Is it about a fourth of the way down the economic line towards capitalism? The answer may surprise you because socialism, straight up socialism, sits right smack dab in the middle. So if that’s the case, where does democratic socialism sit? Right in the middle of capitalism & true socialism, three fourths of the way towards capitalism. Which means, by proxy, it is a more capitalist idea than a communist one. Surprise.
Now, let’s talk medicine, specifically socialized medicine. Did you know that the United States is one of the only major country in the entire world that doesn’t have a form of universal healthcare? Let me show you. The map below shows the healthcare status of every country in the world. The dark green countries are those with free, universal healthcare. The bright green are those that have universal healthcare but it isn’t free. The blue countries have a base level free healthcare system in place but it’s not universal. And of course the red countries are those without free or universal healthcare.
So how does it work? How do you integrate socialized medicine into a country’s economy? Well let’s look at it a bit like streaming. Say you’ve cut the cord & are no longer using cable & instead you have your Netflix subscription, your Hulu subscription, your Sling subscription, your HBO subscription, your Disney+, your ShowTime, whatever. Let’s say in this scenario that HBO represents your taxes & Hulu represents your health insurance/general healthcare costs. You’re paying each of these subscriptions separately, a Hulu subscription costs $12 a month, HBO $15, but someone comes to you & says “why not just bundle your services? Bundle your HBO into Hulu.” To which you say “why would I pay more for something I already pay for?” When in reality bundling the service drops your Hulu down to $8 a month when you add the $15 HBO subscription to it. Instead of paying the lump sum of $27 you end up paying $23 & never have to worry about going broke from having to go to the hospital ever again. You’re not paying more because you’re outright getting rid of your stand alone subscription.
But I don’t want to pay for other people’s problems, you may say. Well, I hate to break it to you, but you already are. No, I’m not talking about Obamacare, which I will admit, has it's kinks but which, without I myself wouldn’t be able to afford health insurance. I’m referring to debt, specifically in the healthcare world. You see when someone who can’t afford health insurance has to go to the hospital they get charged for that & if they can’t afford health insurance what makes you think they can afford that medical bill? They can’t is the answer we’re looking for here. So they get sent to collections. They’re forced to declare bankruptcy. They’re sent into further financial ruin. So who pays that bill? Why, your taxes of course. You’re already paying the bills, so wouldn’t you rather not worsen someone’s life in the process?
We as a country have a long way to go in minimizing the ever growing gaps in quality of life between the classes. I mean wealth inequality is a completely different topic than the one at hand but I firmly believe a universal healthcare system would start to tip the balance back in the right direction. We have to change something, people are dying. A lot of Americans would rather risk death or permanent injury than go broke trying to cover their medical costs. The system in place right now isn’t working, it’s time we try something new, & the system being proposed it’s not even something that drastic a change! Majority of the happiest, most successful countries in the world have democratic socialist institutions in place. In fact 8 out of 10 of the top ranked countries in the world are democratic socialist countries. The US isn’t a part of that list by the way, but we could be! You want to “Make America Great” start by helping the least of these.
Blog: Date Yourself Dammit!
First of all Happy Valentine’s Day or if you’re of the singular persuasion, Happy Singles Awareness Day! I know I’m a little late on this post but I want to encourage you all on what can be a somewhat lonesome day. As a single human for many a year I understand the struggle, believe me I do, but I want to issue you a small challenge to you today.
Years ago, in college, when I had just come off of a pretty terrible breakup, I stumbled upon a video by Mike Falzone called “The Universe Does Not Owe You a Boyfriend.” Now, for those of you that do not know Mike Falzone is a comedian/blogger who used to do these videos where he’d go for a walk around his neighborhood holding his camcorder while ranting about a topic. In this particular video Mike talks about how he’s tired of people saying that they’re so ready to have a boyfriend or girlfriend, why hasn’t the universe delivered one to me, particularly those who haven’t put in the work in loving themselves. His opinion is that two fully formed humans, who are 100% happy with themselves make the best relationships because they are balanced in creating a 100% happy relationship. Here’s the video for all that are curious:
I for one, couldn’t agree more. I see so many people, every day trying, desperately to find happiness & fulfillment in a significant other. That’s not how it works y’all. If you aren’t happy on your own, by yourself, how can you ever expect to be happy in a relationship or to make someone else happy?! Also, how selfish of you to depend on someone else/use someone to find your happiness. A successful relationship should be about selflessness, that’s what makes us better humans, selfless acts. That isn’t restrictive to your relationship with your boo by the way. The world is a much better place when people are selfless & help one another without having to be forced into it.
Back to the topic at hand. You should be happy with yourself, by yourself. You should love yourself where you are, with you flaws, not only by where you aspire to be. I’m not saying stagnate, please, please don’t stagnate, but I am saying to have patience & love for yourself.
All of this being said I want to issue a challenge to all my single folks out there. This is a challenge I myself have adopted for birthdays & other holidays that can dip into the lonely. This Valentine’s day do what you love. Treat yourself. If it’s your day, your day of love, your birthday, whatever, treat yourself. Do the things you love to do & if other people want to join/if you want other people to join then great! Don’t sit around moping, saying “oh poor me” when this is your day! Treat. Your. Self. Go to that new restaurant you’ve been wanting to try, watch your favorite film, take a long shower, go to your favorite city, take yourself shopping. If you can’t do the things you love to do by yourself why do you expect other people to show up & enjoy them? Why do you need someone else around to witness your enjoyment? Go out, meet new people, bask in the moments, & love yourself first & foremost. We all have to date ourselves a little before we fully understand the beautiful human being underneath, so go out & spend a little time with you!
New Acoustic Demo of Learn To Love The Rain!
This year I wanted to put out more music, even if it comes in the form of a demo! So, monthly I’ve decided to release a demo on my soundcloud of a song that I’ve written! This month is “Learn To Love The Rain,” a song I wrote with Mignon! Enjoy!
Blog: Be You Boo
I feel I’ve gotten to the point in my life where I’m done apologizing, I’m done conforming, I’m done modifying to who people expect me to be verses the person that I know I am. Which is hard. It’s especially hard as an introvert & someone who shies away from conflict, but I guess I’ve just gotten to the point of being fed up. I’m not saying we should all be brash, in-your-face people all the time; I understand that there are certain situations that require some decorum. However, I am so sick of filtering myself around the people I love that claim to love me for me and sick of presenting a version of myself that isn’t entirely true.
I think we all naturally do this to an extent and that’s why we all have our wild streaks in our 20s. We grow up with the imprint of who our parents want us to be, who our friends & mentors want us to be. It’s not until we’re out of the house that a lot of us are free to experiment with the boundaries of our morality. We finally get the time to figure out what we value, what we don’t, what’s worth out time & effort, & what simply is not. For a lot of people these new found beliefs & lifestyles may end up clashing with the preconceived image of you someone you grew up with has. Thus, we filter. We either completely omit or cover up the parts of us the we don’t feel we can show the past out of some semblance of respect or love, when in reality these temporary walls we build end up requiring constant maintenance & energy to uphold & end up doing more harm than good. We end up drained, grouchy, unhappy because we don’t feel we’re allowed to be the people that we are around the people that are supposed to accept us as we are. We fight with this feeling of owing these people the version of you that they know because we think it’ll save them pain or discomfort, when in the end it ends up doing more damage.
This carries over into how we present ourselves in the world at large. We all tend to wear these different masks subconsciously, each specifically designed to augment or only show parts of who we are. We have the mask we wear for our significant others, the one that we grow unhappy in over time that ends in us hating that person because of how we’ve modified ourselves for them. We have the mask we wear to work that leaves you unfulfilled, hating a job you never wanted in the first place. We have the mask we wear for our friends, the strong one that never shows your vulnerabilities because you are the shoulder they turn to to cry on. And so one & so forth. Hell, we even go into new social settings with a list of pre-approved items we’re willing to share with a new acquaintance, friend, or colleague. I say enough. I am so tired of the masks. I'm so tired of trading them interchangeable throughout my day to uphold an idea that may no even be true. The idea that if people knew you, really knew you, they wouldn’t like you.
This specifically has wormed its way into music for me. What is music at the end of the day if not a form of expressing the self. Think of your favorite song. Is it pretty? Are the lyrics overly fantasized or is it gritty? Does it dive deep & attach to a part of you that fills you with melancholy, with nostalgia, with a strange sense of longing or hope? You see the songs that last, the artists that last are brash; they’re honest. They’re not afraid to talk about what they love, what hurts them, what they struggle with and as fans, we reward them by buying their albums, seeing them live, adding their songs to our rainy day playlists. I want to be that. I’m tired of writing into the cliches because I know it’s what will strike radio. I’m tired of filtering myself because the truth of my emotion might hurt someones feelings or make someone feel uncomfortable. I’m tired of trying to be someone I’m not & overriding the person that I am because I’m so incredibly proud of him. I’m proud of the steps he’s made, I’m proud of the man he’s become, I’m proud of the lessons he’s learned from his failures. I’m proud of myself.
I shouldn’t have to bushel my pride because someone else isn’t secure enough in who they are & neither should you. Live your life, YOUR life, because it is yours. It’s not your friend’s, it’s not your parent’s, it’s not your lover’s or your boss’s; it’s yours. Do what makes you happy, be the person that makes you happy, unapologetically. Live boldly but never arrogantly. Know your worth but never be afraid to help those in need. Love out loud, love everyone until they give you a reason not to. Be empathetic & kind & understanding. Listen to each other & walk in someone else’s shoes for a while. Realize your life experiences are not the norm, because there is no such thing. We all have walked different paths & just want to feel like we matter. So believe that you do. You matter, as you are. Have courage in that affirmation! If you don’t know who you are take the time to learn away from the masks. Date yourself, do something that makes you happy, really understand why it makes you happy. You’re magnificent, live as such!
Recommendation Blog: Portland/Portland Adjacent
PORTLAND:
Arlington Heights:
International Rose Test Garden: There’s a reason Portland is known as “The City of Roses,” this is it! Roses grow exceedingly well in the volcanic soil that surrounds Portland & the Test Gardens are a testament to that! Completely FREE to go visit with some incredibly complex colorations of flower. Worth the stop!
Oregon Zoo: A quant little zoo, but incredibly charming at the same time. The Oregon Zoo is not by any means a walking zoo (If you’ve been to the KC zoo you know what I mean.)
Portland Japanese Gardens: About $10 to enter, the Japanese Gardens feature native Japanese vegetation as well as many other traditional forms of Japanese Gardening. Very peaceful & uplifting, it’s almost halfway between an art exhibit & a garden!
Beaverton:
Nonna Emilia’s Ristorante Italiano: Huge Portions of excellent Italian Food! All of it is your pretty basic fare but it’s all solid & you’ll have plenty to share or take home!
Downtown Portland:
Blueplate Lunch Counter & Soda Fountain: Featured many times across the Food Network, Blueplate is a solid Diner. Serving anything from Pancakes to Sandwiches, you really can’t go wrong here!
Little Bird Bistro: The sister restaurant of Le Pigeon, still a bit on the nicer side but a little less pricey! Try the Duck, get a Charcuterie Board to share, don’t skip the Deviled Eggs!
Hillsdale:
Chart House: A chain, I know but the Portland location is unique because of its position. It sits on a hillside overlooking the entire city. The view is breath taking & the food is always reliable!
Mulitiple Locations:
Pizza Schmizza: Found all over Portland is this quirky Soda Shop meets Pizzeria. Entirely UFO themed, the Schmizza features hundreds of interesting types of Bottled Beverages as well as very quirkily topped pizzas sold by the slice!
Pok Pok Wing: Similar to the normal experience of Pok Pok just cut out the sit down restaurant aspect! The wing locations took what made Pok Pok famous, their wings, & trimmed down the menu to revolve around them in a “to-go” setting!
Salt & Straw: Dotted up & down the west coast Salt & Straw started in Portland & remains a staple! Each month the Ice Cream shop picks a new theme to debut 5-6 ice cream flavors around along side their consistent 12-15 other menu items! Go in & be adventurous! You’d be surprised what you like!
Sesame Donuts: Come to Portland with Voodoo in mind & the locals will send you to Sesame. Sesame is more your straight forward doughnut shop, but it is none-the-less amazing!
Pearl District:
PB&J’s Grilled: Top 10 restaurants in the country right here. Used to stop here all the time with the band, we’d load up on about three sandwiches each before going off to the airport to fly back to Nashville! It sounds simple but their menu consists of several different twists on the PB&J formula! I recommend the Oregonian, the Spicy Thai (w/ Shrimp), & the Hot Hood!
Powell’s Books: One of the US’s most famous bookstores! Powell huge, yet still retains its warmth! A great place to spend a rainy PNW afternoon!
Voodoo Doughnuts: Located in downtown Portland next to a Porn Theater, Voodoo is a Portland Institution. Ask anyone for Portland recommendations & most of them will list Voodoo amongst them! I recommend a Portland Cream, a Memphis Mafia, the Original Maple Bacon Bar, & The Cock-n-balls!
Richmond/Sunnyside:
Bröder Cafe: A must stop Breakfast spot! Get there first thing in the morning, they will have a long wait otherwise. I recommend the Aebleskivers & the Daily Skillet. For those who have never tried Norwegian food, run, don’t walk.
Le Pigeon: The parent restaurant of Little Bird Bistro. Le Pigeon is a little more on the upscale side but the French cuisine is incredible!
Nong’s Khao Man Gai: Started as a food truck on PSU campus, Kong’s specializes in Chicken with Broth & Sauce. Sounds really simple, which it is, but it’s truly incredible & cheap. Get there early, there’s usually a line.
Pok Pok: One of my favorite stops in the country! Incredible Authentic Thai/Vietnamese Food with well Crafted Cocktails all set in a chill yet funky vibe. Be sure to get Wings, Flank Steak Salad, the Spicy Boar Collar, & whatever else your heart desires! Everything is great, order family style!
Stumptown Coffee Roasters: You can find several Stumptown Coffee shops dotted all around Portland which in their own right are must stops in the PNW. However Portland, or as it was originally known “Stumptown,” is home to the national Roasterie for all Stumptown products! They offer Coffee Tasting Tours, Latte Art Classes, etc. Be sure to book in advance, they fill up quickly!
Rose City Park:
Ohana Hawaiian Cafe: Get you some P.O.G., a Hawaiian Sampler Platter, & some Spam Musabi & you’re set!
ADJACENT:
Florence:
The Dune Sea: Just South of Florence is a Dune Sea! Rent a Dune Buggy or an ATV & have a blast! If you’re not feeling up to the challenge, grab a guided tour!
The Hukilau: Traditional Hawaiian food with an Oregonian twist. A must stop along the Oregon Coast. Spam Musabi, Mac & Rice, & The Ahi Fish & Chips are a must! DO NOT MISS THIS PLACE!
Hillsboro:
Heritage Farms: A wide selection of Seasonal Produce farmed right at the source! Huge Apples of every variety, Pumpkins, Pies, etc.
Smith Berry Farm: You-Pick Berries of every variety! Blackberries, Raspberries, Strawberries, Blueberries the size of a quarter, all sold by the pound!
Newport:
Chowder Bowl at Nye Beach: The Best Bowl of Clam Chowder you’ll ever have, I guarantee it! I get the Slumgullion, Chowder with Pacific Bay Shrimp on it.
Local Ocean Seafood: A constantly changing assortment of some of the Freshest Seafood on the Coast! Local Ocean is half restaurant/half fish market, located right on the docks where the fish are brought in after they’re caught! The menu is always innovative & inspired & I’ve never left disappointed!
Oregon Coast Aquarium: I for one am a sucker for a good Aquarium & the aquarium in Newport is a GREAT Aquarium! All of the exhibits are housed fairly close together so you won’t end up walking too far, though the venue is a bit of a maze to accommodate all the wonderful things they’ve placed in this quant space!
Yaquina Head Lighthouse/Outstanding Natural Area: One of my favorite spots in the world! Yaquina Head is home to a stunning Cobblestone Beach as well as a wide assortment of Tide pools & Wildlife filled areas! Check the tides before going & plan accordingly!
Tillamook:
Tillamook Cheese Factory: Do the Cheese Tasting Tour & get you some Ice Cream. DO NOT MISS THIS ON THE WAY TO THE COAST!!!!
Troutdale/Columbia River Gorge:
Horsetail Falls: Definitely a hike. Horsetail Falls & the accompanying trail lead in a circle around to a series of 12 Waterfalls! Definitely a longer hike, but totally worth it.
Latourell Falls: Not as crowded as Multnomah and a little more of a hike but Latourell features some really interesting Rock Formations as well as a Stunning Waterfall that you can walk right up to!
Lookout Mountain: A short hike of maybe half a mile…maybe. That leads to a vista point where you can see clearly all of the major mountains of Oregon & Washington!
Multnomah Falls: One of the most iconic waterfalls in the world. Multnomah may be a bit touristy at times, but there’s a reason for that. It somehow seems to incapsulate the entire spirit of the Pacific Northwest in one location.
Sugarpine Drive-In: Seasonal, ever-changing menu. Sugarpine has been a staple of Troutdale for almost 100 years! Don’t skip Dessert! Get the Larch Mountain Sundae or the Sugarpine Cone.
Vista House: Perched on a cliffside overlooking the expanse of the Columbia River, it makes for some great photo opportunities
Willamette Valley:
Dundee Bistro: A great place to sample Local Cuisine as well as the wines of the region. Offering inspired Bistro Dishes as well as a sampling of the vineyards that surrounds it it’s a good spot for a flight & a bite!
Rex Hill: Willamette Valley Vineyard specializing in Pinot Noir & Chardonnay, excellent Tasting Experience especially when it comes to their reserve wines!
Sokol Blosser: Modern Vineyard overlooking the Willamette Valley. A great place to grab a glass of wine, sit and chill!
MULTIPLE LOCATIONS:
Mo’s: If you can make it, hit the Chowder Bowl, if not Mo’s has a pretty bangin’ cup of Clam Chowder themselves!
Pig N’ Pancake: Cozy Breakfast Joint dotting up & down the Oregon coast!
Blog: New Year, Same Constantly Evolving Me
I’m going to outright say it, I think the concept of a new year’s resolution is B.S.. I’m a strong proponent of constantly bettering yourself; you shouldn’t wait for a marked date to start a change you want to make in yourself, you should constantly be evolving & making yourself a better human. I also believe the science that fast life changes never stick, that’s why I think Whole30 is a waste of your time unless you’re on it all the time. We are all creatures of habit, we have a hard time breaking our habits, hence why we must enforce a new habit. I think if you’re going to make a change, really make the change you have to introduce it slowly into your routine & let it grow over time. If you’re wanting to workout more start by doing 30 minutes to an hour three times a week, don’t just jump into a fitness routine that’s going to burn you out quickly. If you want to eat better do so one food group at a time. Start two weeks without soda, then cut out gluten, then two weeks later cut sugar, or whatever your desired goals are!
I think the same goes for reinvigorating your work ethic. If you’re not happy where you are in your career or don’t feel you’re doing enough & need the kick in the pants to get things start taking baby steps to prepare you for the giant ones down the line! Start with something different weekly like self evaluation/course correction, add bits of the grunt work that builds the foundation you need, start a weekly video series, start a weekly blog……
As I mentioned above we are all creatures of habit & this is not only self contained, we feel the same about the world that surrounds us. People want stability; they want reliability & consistency. Your boss wants to see this new found motivation isn’t just something that’s going to fizzle out in a week or two. Your fans want to see that when they show up to your YouTube channel on Tuesday evenings there’ll be a new video up. People crave patterns, the easiest way to move up the ladder is to give people that which they so crave.
All of these are practices we should be doing all the time, not just for the new year. We as a society as a whole need to learn to be more introspect. We chastise people for their shortcomings not realizing they are reflections of our own. We fail to treat people with kindness or empathy because we feel subconsciously that people don’t treat us as such. We don’t take the time to listen, to see someone else’s point of view because we automatically assume people aren’t going to do the same for us. This is a societal change that we must rectify, but it has to be done one person at a time.
I guess all of this is a long winded way for me to say screw your new year’s resolution. You should be introspective & analytical enough to strive for constant evolution. Healthy habits are learned, they aren’t going to magically stick because you took a month to eat broccoli for once in your life or purchased your spouse a Pelaton for Christmas. Small conscious steps are what will make the changes you want, not fad diets, not complaining on the internet about how you’re not where you deserve to be, actual progress. Slow, painful progress. No one scales Everest in a day, don’t expect yourself to either. Be present, be self aware, be kind, & meet people where they’re at. Be patient with yourself, you’ll get there if you put in the effort! Hone your skills, cut out toxic people or the habits that drag you down & take up too much of your life. Happy New Year to you all, remember, baby steps!
Blog: Comparison, You Joy Thieving Bitch!
“Comparison is the thief of joy.”
I’ll be the first to admit that I fall prey to comparison far too often. I look at other people’s progress, accolades, followings, likes, etc and allow it to diminish my own. I allow comparison to not only steal my joy but also my sense of worth, the scope of my talent, & the progress I have made. This is by far the biggest thing I feel holding myself back, it’s something I’ve struggled with for years & I’m more than well aware of it. I allow it to creep into my brain & fester until I begin to obsess over it & get myself into a mood, as I am today. I’m even someone who preaches this to others when they ask advice but I have an incredibly hard time with practicing it myself. On top of all of this, I put far too much stock into what other people think of me & not even what they actually think, what I perceive that they might think of me. It’s insanity and at time it eats me alive. Now, I wouldn’t outright say I’m jealous of a lot of my fellow artists/musicians/songwriters, in fact I’m incredibly proud of them, but at some point you get tired of sitting on the side lines & just want to play the damn game.
There in lies the double edged sword that comes with being an artist. We shouldn’t care what others think of our art because that stifles our creativity, at the same time a lot of us want to be successful & know whether that’s through clout or finance. Both of these things require an ear for taste & a recognition of what we’re able to monetize. All great art is ground breaking, it’s different, it changes the status quo, but at some point in its success it becomes the new status quo, therefore I think even boundary pushing art, super personal art requires taste. The fastest way to get swept under is to conform to what makes others special.
“You say you want to be the next Taylor Swift but there’s already a Taylor Swift out there. And surprise, surprise she’s going to do the best Taylor Swift that anyone can do, so you should do the best you that you can do.”
I recognize that my brand of country doesn’t fit the stigma that is everyone else’s brand of county. I also recognize my brand of pop doesn’t fit the stigma there either. Same goes for my brand of rock. I understand that, in a still genre based music industry, my sound will take a little longer to stick because it’s a little harder to quantify. I’ve been told up & down Nashville “this isn’t country enough” just as I’ve been told up & down LA that “this isn’t pop enough” & for a long while I let that get me down. That is until I realized it makes me unique. It makes me stick out amongst the millions of artists out there trying to be heard. I wear "it isn’t _____ enough” as a badge of honor now because it has evolved into something truly me. I love being able to fuse all the music I love into one sound, it frustrates the hell out of Joshua Gleave at times (my producer), but I’m always incredibly proud of the outcome.
“Go where you’re celebrated, not where you’re tolerated.”
All of that being said, it is tiresome to watch artists that fit the mold have over night success. It’s tiresome trying to pull from an audience that just wants to be handed the same thing over & over until the next great thing shatters the mold & the process begins again. I truly wish I were someone that didn’t care, that didn’t look at all my analytics & second guess everything I post or put out based on the reception it does or does not receive. I need to work on that I know. I also know social media is a part of branding in the modern music industry. It’s how we get out name, image, songs out there. It’s how we advertise, but man can it be draining. I personally am beyond excited for instagram to remove the like counter. I’m tired of caring how many likes a post does or doesn’t get. I’m tired of caring how many people saw my story or reacted to a tweet. It’s exhausting & it does nothing good for my mental health. I’m tired of chasing dead ends I want so badly to like me. I’m tired of going out of my way to help other up the ladder just to have them turn & leave me in the dust, it’s time I forage my own path & see if someday they come back to me. I need to be the strong, confident, open book I’ve always wanted to be & quite frankly stop giving a shit. I need to stop being afraid of the what ifs & truly embrace being myself inside & out of my artistry.
“The more it scares you, the more you probably need to do it.”
I can promise you now that 2020 is going to look a hell of a lot different for me. I’m so beyond over sitting on the sidelines & am ready to “take life by the reins”….I quoted my own song there… I’m so excited to see what it holds & I’m going to do my best daily to make steps in improving not only my confidence but also my resilience & authenticity. I think the first step to that is going into 2020 with a clear mind, that being said I’m taking about a week break from socials until the new year so I can regroup my thoughts, reassess my self worth, & really hit the ground running.
This will be the last you’re hearing from me in 2019, I want to thank you all for an amazing year. I have learned so much & am so ready to apply it moving forward. I’m grateful for each of you that have streamed my songs, for those of you that share them, add them to your playlists, come to my shows, I’m so thankful!
One final thought, do we like this blog format? Are we liking Fridays for them? Are we enjoying my ranting thoughts? Please leave a comment & let me know!
I wish you all the best possible new year in 2020; take those daily steps towards bettering yourself, treat people with kindness and empathy, always, and be the best you there ever was & ever will be!
Happy New Year to you all!
Love,
Charlie
Blog: Home for the Holidays
I want to frame this blog around the expansion of something that I touched on in my morning pep talk this morning. If you’re not a follower of mine on Instagram first off:
Second, for those unaware, when I work my morning job I do a “Morning Pep Talk” in which I encourage a productive day, week, season, etc & also occasionally offer a daily challenge or advice. Today I briefly spoke on expectations, specifically when it comes to home for the holidays. I want to start this blog off with one of my favorite exerts from one of my favorite poets/philosophers Kahlil Gibran. This is an exert from The Prophet titled “On Children.”
“And a woman who held a babe against her bosom said, Speak to us of Children.
And he said:
Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer’s hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable.”
I’ve had many conversations over the last week from friends seeking advice specifically in this regard. It’s actually been a bit shocking the through line that I’m being presented with. In part I’m flattered that my friends think they can come to me about these things but it also saddens me that peoples’ families make them feel this way. Don’t think I’ll be pulling many punches here, you’ve been warned.
I want to talk specifically about a few different things here. The first being directed at those who are children of divorce or those who live far away from their families. Do not. I repeat, DO NOT allow your family to guilt trip you. You are not the constantly fluctuating treaty line your separated parents get to change their mind on where exactly it stands. You are not a malleable bridge responsible for bridging their gap. You are a human being, your parents problems are not your own. If you are on good terms with both of your parents and are making an effort to see them over the holidays that should be enough. Your effort & follow through should be enough. You do not owe them a specific amount of time, you do not owe them upholding to any plan that causes you to bend over backwards & compromise who you are. The holidays are stressful enough without all of that. Your parents shouldn’t make you feel like dirt to try & guilt you into spending time with them, that’s manipulation.
The same goes for people returning home for the holidays. Make time for your family, if that’s what you’re there to do, but again, don’t let them guilt trip you. Nothing makes people want to skip town on the next bus out faster than being told they don’t spend enough time with someone else, or they didn’t make enough of an effort. You made the effort & showed up. The holidays should be enjoyable for all; people should strive towards making their family & friends feel welcome. If you’re the family member of someone from out of town you need to understand that you aren’t the only people that raised them. If they want to make time to spend with friends or those you deem other, that’s their choice to make. Time is one of our most precious commodities, trust them enough to believe that they are using their limited time home in a manner that is not only fulfilling but also valuable to them. You do not own them or their time, therefore the time they have freed up to spend with you should be seen as a gift & not taken advantage of, nor should it be something to feel glutinous about. Your guilt trip is nothing more than externalized greed, be satisfied with what you have.
For those going home whose home no longer feels homie, I challenge you to stand firm in the conviction of who you are. Whether your family doesn’t value you as a person or what you value, you are no less of a human being because of it. I’m not saying to go home & pick fights; we should always start from a place of kindness but the moment someone tries to diminish you or change who you are they have shown that they lack respect for the human being. We are all different, these differences should be celebrated, isn’t that what part of the beauty of the holidays, people from all walks of life coming together to share their time & stories? Isn’t that the point of family? Shouldn’t it be that unbreakable support system that sees you for who you are & loves you unconditionally? Shouldn’t you be able to be your fullest self around them? If that’s not the case for you maybe it’s time to change who you call family.
I know all that I’ve said here is a bit of a downer but I truly don’t mean it to be, I’m simply offering my advice. And it’s just that. Advice. The beautiful thing about it is that you can take it or leave it. We struggle our whole lives to understand who we are. We make so many steps towards understanding & striving towards being the best versions of yourself, why would you ever want to sacrifice that just so someone else can continue to use you or continue to make you feel lousy or continue to believe a lie they’ve self perpetuated. You came through your family, you are not them, though you belong to them, they do not own you. I hope you have the happiest of holidays. May the rest of your December be merry & bright!
Recommendation Blog: Kansas City
KC Proper: (These are the restaurants with multiple locations around Kansas City.)
Fiorella’s Jack Stack: My personal favor BBQ in KC. Get the Jack’s Best with Cheesy Corn & Baked Beans. The Cheesy Potatoes are also a great choice but whatever you do, don’t skip the Smoked Chicken Wings!
Gate’s: Get a Double-Decker & a Half. Big ass sandwich but it’s probably the best BBQ Sandwich in KC!
Joe’s KC: KC’s top voted BBQ joint, Joe’s is a good middle ground for all seeking just good all around BBQ. I always get the Sampler with Burnt Ends, Turkey, Brisket, & Pulled Pork but the most popular menu item is definitely the Z Man.
The Roasterie Café: A KC Coffee staple! The Roasterie itself offers different tours & coffee based classes! Skip the Cold Brew though unless you get the Sporting Blend!
Sheridan’s Frozen Custard: Get you a Concrete, get it plain, you really can’t go wrong here!
Spin Pizza: KC’s take on Napoli Pizza! A lot of really interesting pizza options as well as salads! Several locations across KC!
Winstead’s: Very few Winstead’s left, an old Kansas City fast food staple. Burgers are incredible as are the Onion Rings.
Country Club Plaza:
The Capital Grille: Upscale Steakhouse. The Porcini Rubbed Ribeye is divine as is their French Onion Soup! Get the Au Gratin Potatoes & The Lobster Mac to share! Ask for Steve, he’s the greatest waiter!
McCormick & Schmick: A chain, I know, but go for Happy Hour & get the Calamari & a Chocolate Bag!
Osteria Il Centro: Always have incredible specials in addition to the staples on their menu! Some of the best Italian west of the Mississippi!
Downtown KC:
Boulevard Brewery: Book a tour in advance! Excellent Beer with a lot of variety!
Bristol: Get the Soup Sampler! No joke. That with Cheesy Biscuit is all you need!
Christopher Elbow: Kansas City’s own famous Chocolatier! His Truffles are immaculate!
The Peanut: Wings. The Peanut is a dive bar with The. Best. Wings! Only come in one style, Buffalo, but they’re incredible!
Martin City:
Martin City Brewery: Great Hang Spot! Really great food, really great beer!
Tropical Sno: Only open in the summer, Tro-Sno has a long list of flavors sure to please anyone! My go to is Guave, Pink Lemonade, & Pink Grapefruit!
Olathe:
Silas & Maddie’s: Incredible, incredible Ice Cream! I recommend the Blueberry!
Overland Park:
Desta’s: A little Ethiopian gem located in new at the Blue Valley Sports Complex. The food is incredible & extremely authentic! I recommend Chicken & Lamb Tibs!
Fat Bee: The OG OP Bobba Tea Bar! Tons of different flavors, I recommend the House Special as is!
Fortune Wok: Pretty standard Chinese fare with a Sushi Bar. I always go for the Sweet & Sour Soup & their Happy Family!
Hot Basil: One of my favorite Thai restaurants in the country. They have hands down the best Pad See Ew. Be wary of the heat levels, Thai hot means Thai hot! The Tom Kha is incredible too!
I Am Frozen Dessert Cafe: Thai Dessert Bar! They take block of ice cream & put them in an ice shaver. Totally worth the stop!
Jalapeños: An Overland Park staple, best Tamales in the area for sure.
Jersey Boys: Turkey Club, Turkey Club, Turkey Club!
Jose Peppers: Locals know it for their Espanaca Dip, but their Salsa & regular menu items are bangin too! I recommend the Fish Tacos.
K-Macho: All around pretty solid Mexican food! A little more on the big portion side, a crowd pleaser for sure!
Pad-Thai: A relatively new Thai restaurant, get the Crying Tiger Beef & ask the chef to surprise you with the main Entree!
Plaza III: Another upscale steakhouse on the plaza. Here I recommend the Ribeye & the Mac & Cheese & the Onion Straws
Robek’s: California smoothie chain, used to carry Guava Juice but have since stopped, but asked them to replicate a “Guava Lava” & they can still get it pretty close.
Ruchi: Go get their Indian Lunch Buffet, allows you to try all different kinds of Indian dishes without the pressure of being set with just one!
Sweet Caroline’s: Candy shop that serves Silas & Maddie’s Ice Cream!
Prairie Village:
Cafe Provence: Consecutively voted one of the top restaurants in the entire United States, French Fare. Don’t miss the Onion Soup or the Amish Chicken.
Dolce Bakery: Try all the cookies, all of them! Especially the Double Chocolate Espresso & the Oatmeal Cranberry Chocolate Chip!
Leawood:
Blue Koi: Featured a few times on the food network, Blue Koi is famous for their Chinese Pot Roast Soup & it does not disappoint! Great for a cold day when you need heating up! Don’t miss their assorted Bobba Teas as well, may sound strange but I recommend the Green Bean & Almond!
Pacuigo Gelato: Always outstanding Gelato, tons of different flavors. Try a few before you decide & be adventurous, it’s worth it!
Westport:
Room 39: Cute little Contemporary American/French place. Menu is always changing but they do everything very well!
Blog: Global Warming & The One Iota of Truth
So, global warming.
(Yes, we’ll be referring to it as “global warming” instead of “climate change” because the research shows the general public finds that terminology “more pressing,” which it should be.)
As I’m sure many of you have seen, global warming has been making all kinds of headlines this week mostly due to The UN Climate Summit & Greta Thunberg’s incredible speech. If you haven’t given the incredible sixteen year old’s speech a listen, it’s a powerfully moving four and a half minute watch as is her speech during the opening track of The 1975’s forthcoming album “Notes On A Conditional Form.” The escalating visibility of climate activism & mountainous pile of evidence in favor of the fact that we are destroying our planet got me thinking, & really it got me thinking about one tiny little question I want to ask those who don’t seem to believe the truly dire situation we are in. Before I pose my question I guess I should preface by clarifying that this blog post is more targeted towards those who are deniers than believes. My question follows:
What if it’s true? What if only one tiny iota of it is true? Out of all the data & concrete science, what if even one gram of it is truth? Is that not enough to take action?
I know majority of the denier demographic falls in the boomer category & I know, I know this is going to sound like just another millennial whining about the older generation messing things up for us, but we share the fault in this as well. It seems however that the reason Gen X, Millenials, & Gen Z are rapidly joining the fight against global warming is, to put it plainly, that we’ll actually be alive to see it. We’ll be the ones left to “survive” on the earth we killed., forced to live with the horrendous conditions we’ve created. Not only will we have to live with this, but so will our children & our children’s children. Those who are innocent to the cause will suffer the effects of the negligence of the previous generations. My prompt to those who are in the older generations, content to let the world burn, is what about your grandchildren? Hasn’t your goal as a parent, as a grandparent, always been to create a better way of life for those that come after you? If that’s the case I think I would mark this down as a major failure on your part & say in the worlds of Greta “How Dare You!”
If there’s one iota of truth to it all why are you fighting the change required? What do you lose by being just a little more green? What are you really giving up to save the planet? Think of all the things you’ve sacrificed over the years to make a better life, how if this any different? I guess the main difference boils down to selfishness. We don’t want to change because they’re not, we don’t want to change because it doesn’t benefit us or our families immediately, we don’t want to change because it may cost us a few dollars more a month. I would argue “an eye for an eye” leaves the world blind, or in this case, dead. You’re right, the change necessary wouldn't improve the quality of just those around you, it’d improve the quality of life for everyone living on this planet. The money you inevitably save on allergy medication or other medical bills, the money you save because food is becoming increasingly hard to grow or catch due to the death of pollinators or decimated populations, the amount you’ll save not having to deal in home maintenance due to the ever increasing ferocity of weather, heat, & cold, will be more than worth the investment you put in to choosing the greener path.
I guess I’m just frustrated, my generation is frustrated. We’re tired of screaming stop just for the wheel to keep turning without regard for what it’s trampling in the process. We have to make a change, all of us. We have to pressure corporations, that make up 72% of the carbon footprint to change. We have to be better, not only for ourselves but for those who come after. We cannot allow selfishness & laziness to win. None of these changes are things you have to make over night, but little by little we all can help save the world. Start by getting a recycling bin, move to purchasing reusable containers to take with you to the store, cut out single use plastics, buy from sustainably farmed sources, don’t run your heat or air conditioner at full blast all the time. Take baby steps adding more and more as you go along, you’ll be amazed when you look back & see how far you’ve come just how easy the journey actually was.
Blog: Mental Health & The Mental Tolls of Being a Struggling Artist
Incase you didn’t know June is Mental Health Awareness Month.
I wanted to start this blog by saying a few things that I often have to reaffirm in my own life; you are worthy of your dreams, you are talented, you are worthy of love, you are worthy of people’s time, you are important. I know that can be a little hippie-dippie at times but these are the mantras we must keep. Recite them until you believe them in your soul. Make those words imprint upon your brain. You are worthy.
I also want to say that if you are struggling with your mental health & feel like you’re out here drowning on your own, that it’s okay to reach out for help. It’s okay to tell people how you feel. It is not weakness to want to get better. Fighting these fights has made you stronger than you know! If you do need help though there are a lot of great resources out there, I’ll attach a few to the bottom of the blog.
Now, onto my thoughts…
Some of you may have read the precious blog I did on mental health for Suicide Prevention Day, if not feel free to go back & give it a read, although I’ll probably end up touching on a lot of those points in it here as well. I wanted to take the time to write this blog but I didn’t want to do it at a time where I felt right as rain. I’ve been fairly candid in the past about my struggles with depression, a mental illness I struggled with for years. I remember being in high school & having sudden uncontrollable waves of depression hit me & not knowing how to deal with them, often resulting in me breaking down. And that’s how depression goes, like a flash flood. Some days it just consumes you out of nowhere & the fear, doubt, & shame take over. Well, full disclosure, that’s me today. Most of the time my waves of depression come from never feeling like I’m enough, not feeling like I’m good enough, talented enough, that I work hard enough, or that I’m doing enough. That’s the beauty of the music industry I suppose, every day you try your damnedest just to inch your way a little higher on the ladder & feel like all this work you’re doing matters. You work & you work & you get so excited just to be thrown by the wayside by the world & this industry. The projects you poured your heart into don’t connect, the email or phone call you’ve been praying will come never does, the people who claim to support you turn their backs on you. It's tough.
I’m not trying to discredit my fans at all or anyone out there working on my behalf or who believes in me, I am beyond grateful for you all. I wouldn’t be here without you. All I’m saying is this job is taxing & if you don’t take the time to stop & check yourself & your mental health along the way it’ll eat you alive. That being said I want this blog to be as raw & open as I can be.
I’m a bit too much of an envious person at times if I’m being honest. Don’t get me wrong, I am incredibly proud of all that my friends are accomplishing in the music industry, with all my heart I am so beyond proud of you all. But comparison is often the thief of my joy & I so long to join you on your pedestal.
I compare myself to the privileged. To those who have relatives in the industry or come from money. Those that can throw the appropriate marketing dollars are a project to have is launch where they want it to be. I envy them. I envy those whose bank account isn’t constantly on their mind, who don’t live day to day trying to make enough money to even buy the gas required to get to the gig they aren’t getting paid for much less fund their next single. Again comparison always seems to be the thief of my joy.
I look around & I don’t know what I’m doing wrong or even really what I’m doing right. I feel like I’m wondering in the dark praying something connects, that someone will reach out a hand & help pull me through it. I wake up & my brain says do something & I immediately panic because I have no idea what to do. I feel the things I have been doing haven’t been working so I’m forced to rethink it & try a different path.
I know I probably sound like I’m bitching or whining but I truly wanted to share this because I know so many artists that have these days but we never show it. We never break face or break character out of fear of freaking people out but that right there is the problem with our stigma of mental health as a society. Fear & shame. We’re afraid the people we care about won’t accept us or what we’re going through. We’re afraid that we’ll just get another person telling us to “shake it off” or tell us “it gets better.” Your emotions are valid, your feelings are valid, just as you are valid.
SAMHSA- Substance Abuse & Mental Health Services Administration:
1-800-662-4357
National Association of Mental Illness:
www.nami.org
Mental Health Resources, Inc.
www.mhresources.org
National Suicide Prevention Hotline:
1-800-273-8255
Blog: Pride Month, Straight Pride, & Being an LGBTQ+ Ally
First off…
HAPPY PRIDE!!!!!
Whether you’re gay, lesbian, bisexual, transexual, asexual, omnisexual, demisexual, pansexual, queer, non-binary, gender fluid, questioning, a straight ally, or any other identity under the LGBTQ+ mantle; Happy Pride!!!
For those of you that don’t know, June is Pride Month, a month of the year where we shift the lens to focus on those members of our society & our history that are/were LGBTQ+. Pride month exists to draw attention to the marginalized, not to boast one sexuality being greater than another. Pride month exists as a time for celebrating what makes us different, what makes us human, what binds us all; love, or rather love in all of its forms. It also exists as a tool for helping to educate the ignorant & normalize other types of sexualities & genders other than straight or cis. The goal of pride is to show that we don’t live in a world that’s black & white, we live in a world that is a rainbow of millions of different lifestyles & ways to love. Pride month not only is meant as a way to celebrate our differences but is also a way to celebrate the love that we all are capable of sharing & the acceptance we all desire to have.
Now, this year, like most years, there’s a huge push for a “straight pride month” or a “straight pride parade” which I find absolutely ridiculous. For starters, no one is stopping you from attending pride. No where on any LGBTQ+ organization will you find “straights not allowed” (the same can’t be said for the inverse) because again, pride is all about inclusion. The LGBTQ+ community actually encourages straight allies; people within the societal normal that affirm members of the LGBTQ+ community that they are not alone, that they have value to society, that they are deserving of love & acceptance. The main reason that straight pride is insanity is the fact that being straight does not come with the fear of persecution, it does not come with the fear of being beaten on the street for holding your partner’s hand, it does not come with the fear of losing your job when your boss finds out your sexual orientation, it does not come with the fear of being ostracized by your friends & family, it does not come with the fear of “I love you, but,” it does not come with the fear of being kicked out or shut out because you’re different. Being straight is, and has been for thousands of years, the societal norm. That’s changing, slowly, but straight is still, as they say, “the default.” Straight pride is unnecessary, illogical, & if I’m being honest a downright pathetic attempt to reclaim what is believed to be lost ground. Love wins y’all. Love always wins.
To The Allies:
I want to shift my attention back to being an ally for a second because I know there are quite a lot of people out there that identify themselves as straight LGBTQ+ allies but wear that label with conditions, accepting LGBTQ+ friends & family members, but only to a certain extent. Claiming acceptance & showing acceptance & the unconditional love that comes with it are two very different things. You cannot be accepting of someone you love & ask them to hide who they are or deny themselves in public in fear it would reflect badly upon you. You cannot be accepting of someone you love & not use their chosen name or pronouns. You cannot be accepting of someone you love & claim their sexuality is just a phase or that they’re too young to know. You cannot be accepting of someone you love & wish that down the road they would revert to the person you trained yourself to believe they were. You cannot be accepting of someone you love & not stand in solidarity with them when hate comes knocking at their door. You cannot be accepting of someone you love & then actively vote for those that would harm or put into place legislation that would undermine their rights to love whomever they chose or be whoever they want to be. Just because you don’t cut the people off you claim to love does not mean you accept them, it does not mean you are an ally. Just because you don’t kick out your kid or stop talking to your friend or spew hate back at them doesn’t mean you’re accepting of them. Not hating someone or isolating them should not be the standard for acceptance. Acceptance is embracing what makes them different, it’s taking the time to educate yourself on topics you may be completely oblivious to but you do so because you love that person. Acceptance is taking people at their word & trusting that they’re living their true self. Acceptance is asking people about their relationships in an open & interested way, it’s taking an interest in the person they love & putting in effort to form a bond. Acceptance is driving them to their doctors visits, being a pillar of encouragement & strength through their transition, & loving their new identity whole heartedly. It is your job as an LGBTQ+ ally to be a beacon of love in a world that so often hates them not to tell them to act straighter or conform to the societal norm.
To The LGBTQ+ Community:
To those who pray to God every night begging to have your identity taken away, I stand in solidarity with you.
To those that feel like their family’s “dirty little secret,” like your identity or who you love gets swept under the rug, I stand in solidarity with you.
To those living on the street because the people that claimed to love you wouldn’t accept you, I stand in solidarity with you.
To those that feel like they’ll never be able to live their true self, I stand in solidarity with you.
To those who are fighting with feeling like they have to choose their family & friends or themselves, I stand in solidarity with you.
To those who are picked on, bullied, rejected, fired, assaulted, or abused just because you’re different, I stand in solidarity with you.
To those trying desperately to shift self loathing into love, I stand in solidarity with you.
To those hesitant to drape the pride flag around their shoulders in fear of physical or emotional violence, I stand in solidarity with you.
To those that feel the world has turned its back on them, I stand in solidarity with you.
To those that never feel like they’ve been represented properly in media, I stand in solidarity with you.
To those desperately searching for love & acceptance, I stand in solidarity with you.
To the millions of marginalized humans around the globe, I stand in solidarity with you.
To the millions that would rather die than be who they are, I stand in solidarity with you.
To the outcasts, the unwanted, the rebels, the dreamer.
To the different, the beautiful, the unique, the defiant.
To the marchers, the activists, the lovers, the fighters.
I stand in solidarity with you.
Love is love. Love will always win. Keep pushing on, keep being strong, & keep fighting for a better tomorrow.
Recommendation Blog: Los Angeles
Much like my precious recommendation blogs I’ve included only Restaurants, Bars, & Theaters that I’ve been to. I can’t very well recommend something in good conscious that I, myself, haven’t tried.
Also, if you want to skip the area specific sections my “Quick Picks” are at the bottom!
LA PROPER: (Restaurants With Multiple Locations Around LA)
In-N-Out Burger: The west coast chain everybody raves about! I recommend going in with some knowledge of the secret menu! Double Double served Animal & Protein Style is my go to! Animal Style Fries are also a solid choice!
Lemonade: One of my favorite west coast chains, Lemonade is the healthy version of cafeteria style dining. Pick any number of options you like, but don’t skip on a Lemonade & a Giant Macaron! They have pretty solid Spicy Tuna Poke as well!
Salt & Straw: Started in Portland, OR then overtook California! Salt & Straw features its normal handful of Ice Cream but also does a series of “prompt” flavors that change every month!
Sugarfish: An LA sushi chain, it’s worth a bit of a splurge. Grab the Chef’s “I Trust You” & enjoy the Sushi journey!
Urth Cafe: Incredible Food, Incredible Coffee! This Persian inspired Coffee Shop is a great place to hang or have a mid day meal! There is one in the Southwest Terminal of LAX as well!
Beverly Hills:
Catch: Upscale Seafood, overlooks the divid between West Hollywood & Beverly Hills. Get a reservation, walk ins are few & far between.
Gracias Madre: Vegan Mexican that doesn’t suffer from a lack of meat & cheese. Get the Cauliflower Nachos for sure as well as the Jackfruit Tacos!
Zinque: Very trendy, the Tuna Tartine is incredible! Great drinks & atmosphere though!
Big Bear:
Local Tropicali: Excellent Poke Bowls, perfectly brewed Cold Brew, & other incredible Hawaiian inspired Bowls. Not to be missed in Big Bear! Staff is beyond friendly & helpful as well! Try the secret menu item the Krakatoa!
Burbank:
Bob’s Big Boy: You know it from the GIANT MAN ON THEIR ROOF. A Diner that boasts a pretty solid Burger & the like! The Antique Cars in the lot are a nice touch too!
Mama Hong’s: My favorite Pho place in America! Just really solid all around & inexpensive! I get the Filet Mignon Pho with Sliced Steak & Brisket added!
Priscilla’s Coffee: Get the House Specialty Latte. It’s incredible!
Chinatown:
Chego!: Korean Rice Bowls. Inexpensive but still amazing! Usually enough food to last two meals! I like the Pork Belly & the Fries!
Downtown:
Pitchoun: Cute little French Bakery tucked right in downtown LA. Their Pastries & Desserts are where they shine but their Sandwiches & Tartines are not to be ignored either!
The Grove:
Dominique Ansel Bakery: The inventor of the Cronut, Dom Ansel offers a variety of incredible Desserts & a Cronut of the Month! In addition to sugary confections they also have a restaurant!
Nonna’s Empanadas: Amazing Empanadas of all varieties! Sweet, Savory, you name it! The Guava/Cream Cheese is mind-blowingly good!
Hollywood:
Beauty & Essex: Contemporary American a little higher up on the price scale. Famous for their Grilled Cheese & Tomato Soup Bites as well as their Croque Madame Mac & Cheese & their Dessert Ferris Wheel. Bring friends & share plates!
Black Rabbit Rose: A Magic Themed Cocktail Bar with Live Music! Grammy Winning Pianist plays with his band there every Tuesday evening & Thursdays are Jazz nights!
Dirty Laundry: A dark, dingy bar that’s strangely still upscale! Alcoholic Frozen Drinks abound! Occasionally have Live Music.
Fat Sal’s: Exactly how it sounds. Massive amounts of food for cheap. Bomb Sandwiches & Milkshakes, just don’t go on a diet.
Frog Frozen Yogurt Bar: My favorite Frozen Yogurt in LA, always have fun flavors & are open late. They deliver as well!
Good Times at Davey Wayne’s: One of my favorite bars in LA. Davey Wayne’s is a fun 70s Themed Bar with a lot of charm. Their “Backyard” offers Yard Games, Hammocks, Fresh Grilled Tacos, & Alcoholic Snow Cones!
Hotel Cafe: Amazing, historic venue. You never know who will pop in here! Often have two shows going at once, so check online before you go!
Javista: A subsidiary of Urth Cafe. The same high quality Coffee & Food, but I think a little cheaper!
Jones: An LA staple. Jones is a late night Italian Restaurant that has been around forever. A good place for Celebrity sightings as well.
Lost Property: Inconspicuous as they come. A little bar tucked under a skyscraper. A great hang spot!
Mama’s Shelter: Part Boutique Hotel, Part Bar, Part Restaurant! The Shelter is a cool retro Hollywood styled Hang! There’s always something fun going down there! Amazing view of Hollywood from their Rooftop Bar!
No Vacancy: Another one of my favorite Bars in LA. No Vacancy is a Prohibition Style Speakeasy. Entering the bar is a little like being at Disneyland. I won’t spoil the fun but inside are Prohibition Era Drinks, A Live Jazz Band, & A Burlesque Show!
Roscoe’s: The O.G. LA Chicken & Waffles place! Open late & they you can also get it delivered!
Rubies + Diamonds: Salted Coconut Cold Brew, Medium Sweet. That’s all you need to know. You’re Welcome.
The Rusty Mullet: Beer Pong. Darts. Drinks served in a Sand Pail. What’s not to love? Rednecked Themed, but this bar is a total blast!
Stout Burger: So Cal Burger Chain. Go during Happy Hour, their burgers are half priced! Stout also boasts an extensive Draft List that’s always rotating!
The Study: Used to be “Hemingway’s,” The Study’s drinks are all literature themed! Often have Live Music there as well!
Velvet Margarita: Late Night Mexican Food! Make them bring back the Weekend Fish Stew, it was life changing.
Inglewood
Kanpai: THE. BEST. SUSHI. Hands down. End of story. Owner goes & picks out fresh fish every morning!
La Brea:
Bluestone Lane: Aussie Coffee shop! Get you a Milo Mocha & a Square of Poundcake (Frozen) & sit back & enjoy the chill atmosphere!
Tartine: A West Coast chain but there’s definitely a reason behind their fame! Incredible baked goods, don’t skip the Morning Bun or another form of Croissant, they’re to die for!
Three Borders Brunch: A must stop & I cannot stress that enough. El Salvidorian meets Mexican meets American food! It’s INCREDIBLE. So good it made me cry & the owners are always there cooking up a storm!
Larchmont Village:
Cafe Gratitude: A very pleasant Vegan Cafe! Sandwiches, Pasta, Etc, all bangin!
Go Get Em Tiger: Hella cool Coffee Shop! Awesome Lattes with an awesome crew!
Las Feliz:
Alcove Cafe & Bakery: A bit pretentious but I’ve never had anything bad there! Very broad menu ranging from Eggs Benedict to Salads to Sandwiches!
Ample Hills Creamery: This NYC Based Creamery is incredible. Their flavors are inventive while still being within the realm of classic taste!
Malibu:
Malibu Seafood: Fresh Seafood! Don't know what to get? Get the sampler! The Sandwiches are also pretty great!
Nobu: Probably one of the most famous LA restaurants, Nobu is High End, & I mean High End Sushi!
Melrose:
Blu Jam Cafe: One of my go-to stops in LA. Blu Jam is famous for their Crispy French Toast! It’s bangin’! I recommend getting the Tropical Variant of the French Toast with the Vanilla Creme Sauce! The Churro French Toast is incredible too as is their Breakfast Quesadilla!
Market Provisions: The best Yogurt & Granola I’ve ever had! May seem like a little thing but it’s incredible as is their Dungeness Crab Croque Madame!
Taste on Melrose: Get the White Truffle Lobster Mac & Cheese. End of story!
Wolf: An interesting place to Brunch, the Golden Eggs are one of their specialties as are their Crispy Potatoes!
North Hollywood:
Aroma Cafe: Very large menu with a lot of variety to it. Never had anything bad there! Huge pastry selection as well. Quant & Cute. A fun morning meeting place!
El Tajano: Tuesday night Two-For-One Margaritas & Tacos! Go with friends & play some Yard Games!
Silverlake:
DeSano Pizza: The Nashville Pizza Gods go west! Get the Diavola & the San Genarro!
Las Globos Theater: Awesome Hip Hop Club! Go discover the next big thing in Hip-Hop!
Silverlake Ramen: A must stop. My favorite Ramen in the States! Get the Blaze (Spicy Tankatsu) with Pork Belly, Extra Egg, & Black Garlic Oil. You’ll thank me later!
Sqirl: A Fun little Healthy Breakfast/Lunch spot! The Sorrell Bowls are great as is the fresh Brioche with Ricotta Rainbow Style!
The Thirsty Crow: If Silverlake Ramen has a line, wait it out here! The cocktails are all amazing!
Studio City:
La Loggia: Upscale Italian. Amazing fresh baked bread & pasta. Get a bottle of Baby Blue while you’re there as well!
Voodoo Doughnuts: The Portland Doughnut Giant goes south! This one is located at Universal CityWalk & unlike its siblings, isn't open 24/7. They are also lacking the more “risqué” doughnuts i.e. The Cock & Balls & the Blunt. Still worth it for a Portland Cream, Memphis Mafia, & Maple Bacon Bar!
West Hollywood:
Barnie’s Beanery: A good Celebrity spotting location! Been at the same location forever. I recommend their chili sampler!
Flaming Saddles: A gay bar with the best dance floor in town, no matter what your sexuality is, they cater to it!
Motherlode: Cheap, STROOOONG Drinks! Start your night out here to save some cash & get the bang for your buck!
Night & Market: My favorite Thai spot in LA since Pok Pok pulled out. Very similar to Pok Pok in design & taste! Go potluck with some friends & try a few things!
Pump: Vanderpump’s WeHo Bar. Drinks are a little pricy but they’re very tasty & very strong!
Quick Picks:
Bakery: Dominique Ansel
Breakfast: Blu Jam Cafe
Brunch: Blu Jam Cafe (Traditional) Wolf (Upscale) Market Provisions OR Sqirl (Interesting)
Burger: Stout (Specialty) In-N-Out (Normal)
Coffee: Diamond + Rubies
Contemporary American: Beauty & Essex
Donuts: Voodoo Doughnuts
Empanadas: Nonna’s Empanadas
Frozen Yogurt: Frog
Healthy: Lemonade
Ice Cream: Salt + Straw OR Ample Hills
Italian Jones (Normal) La Loggia (Upscale)
Korean: Chego!
Late Night: Jones
Mexican: Three Borders Brunch
Pho: Mama Hong’s
Pizza: DeSano
Ramen: Silverlake Ramen
Special Occasion: Beauty & Essex
Sushi: Kanpai
Thai: Night & Market
Vegan/Vegetarian: Gracias Madre
Blog: Game of Thrones & Toxic Stan Culture
As I’m sure many of you have seen Game of Thrones has been the topic on everyone’s mind this week. With the final episode EVER delivering decidedly mixed reviews across the board I thought I’d take this opportunity to use GoT as a vehicle to convey something I’ve seen all over the place lately; toxic stan culture. For those of you out there that may not be “with it” & don’t know what “stanning” is here’s your urban dictionary definition.
“Stan
A crazed and or obsessed fan. The term comes from the song ‘Stan’ by eminem. The term Stan is used to describe a fan who goes to great lengths to obsess over a celebrity.
Person 1: Dude these kids have been waiting outside the concert since 8 A:M even though no one was lined up...
Person 2: What a bunch of Stans.
”
People can “stan” a number of things, not just celebrities, Game of Thrones is an excellent example of that. Now I’m not saying stanning is a bad thing, hell, as an artist we strive for stans! Stans buy tickets. Stans buy merch. Stans share your songs with the masses & get other people to listen hopefully creating more stans! But there’s been this emergence within different stan cultures that is toxic. They degrade others for liking different things than them, they bash creatives for not doing exactly what they want them to do, they end up hurting the art & the artist way more than they ever helped. Tying this back to Game of Thrones I am of course referring to the petition. For those that don’t know there’s a petition going around with over 1.25M signatures on it to have HBO redo Season 8 of Game of Thrones with “competent writers.” The petition went up after certain fans became enraged over Daenerys Targaryen’s “seemingly out of nowhere” heel turn. I’ll get back to the “seemingly out of nowhere” part later. Now. I will be one of the first to admit that this season, this FINAL season of Game of Thrones did feel a bit rushed & had some lackluster, if not pretty weak writing at times. However, that shouldn’t be used to discredit the thousands of hours of labor the cast & crew put into this season FOR. YOU! Sure, they do it for the money & the love of the screen craft but they also do it FOR YOU THE FANS! I’m with Sophie Turner (Sansa Stark) on this when I say it’s absolutely disrespectful to those who gave up a year & some change of their lives to create this show for you, especially to those who work behind the scenes & may not get the glory shared by the actors.
The thing that’s really melting my Iron Throne about all this has to be the people saying the show “wasted eight years of their lives.” How? How can something you love, fairly consistently, over that span of time be a waste of time? You still loved it in the moment did you not? If HBO had been shut down before they could do season 7 or 8 you still would have loved the show even without getting “a proper ending.” So how is this different? How does getting the canonical ending you disagree with negate all those years of love?
(SPOILERS)
I mostly see this amongst stans of Dany who seeming saw her turn to the figurative “dark side” as out of the blue. While I agree, in the moment, I would have liked a little more external reasoning for the turn, some flashbacks maybe or narrative moments outspoken in her head. YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN THIS COMING A MILE AWAY! The clues of Dany’s “inner dragon” are all over the previous seasons & in the books. All. Over. Them. She has always cared less about ruling or “liberation” than she has about conquering. She loves the rush of power & always has, the signs are all there. Look to Tyrion’s talk with Jon while he’s a captive during the final episode, he goes back through every season & gives specific examples of all she did in the name of “breaking the wheel” that are questionable at best. Again, I agree the scene could have been written better, I also think a lot of the established plot threads were left hanging due to lack of oversight or the show runners just really wanting to be done with the show. Bare in mind that they were only given a basic outline of how George R.R. Martin planned to end his saga, they didn’t have the books to fall back on to fill in the gaps, they made that up themselves and filling in a story that only has the bullet points can be difficult.
Regarding Bran, I agree with the decision to make him king however I also don’t agree with the delivery. Bran spent the entire season basically as a set dressing. His role in the Battle of Winterfell was basically to be bait & nothing else. He used his Worging to do exactly nothing to help & the implications for all of this are frightening. He let thousands of people die just so he could sit on the no longer existent Iron Throne. He knew all that would happen & allowed it to happen anyway to achieve his ultimate goal, winning the Game of Thrones. Not all who we perceive as good are so as these two characters demonstrate.
(SPOILERS OVER)
Overall I’ll admit that I’m “just okay” with the ending we got from Game of Thrones. I also understand that ultimately, as a fan, I don’t get a say in how it should end. It’s not my story I’m telling, just as much as it isn’t yours. That doesn’t mean it doesn’t impact our lives & make us feel something. The same can be said for stans who get angry over a new direction for an artist or something they do & claim it as a misfire or non-canonical or pure fiction. At the end of the day it isn’t your art or your life, it’s the person/project in question’s. That being said it also doesn’t mean that criticisms aren’t important for the creation of great art but there are definitely healthy ways of criticizing art or media that for the most part have not been exhibited lately not just with GoT.
I’ve witnessed quite a lot of toxic stanship flowing over from one stanhood onto another where people of one stanhood go after those who like something different. Usually this type of rift pops up when two objects of stanship, be them human or media, are in conflict with one another. It’s even gotten to the point where the subject of a stan will “sick” their stans upon another celebrity or form of media because they feel mistreated or simply just want to be validated. This feeds into a lot of the persisting problems we have as a culture specifically when it comes to communication on the internet. Behind keyboards we can be bold, vicious people because to some degree the internet dehumanizes not only us but also the subjects of our ire. They become images on a screen, just another product to be exploited, instead of human beings. In a world rapidly approaching 8B people we are all struggling to find ways to feel validation on a global scale, that’s where the internet comes in. We all want to have the best commentary on the relevant. We all want to be that trending tweet or that instagram post that gets shared around the globe but we often step on everyone else’s toes trying to do so, not thinking how the things we say effect those who dedicate their lives to their craft.
Again criticism is valid & as an artist it SHOULD be welcomed. It makes us better. However, I’m specifically talking healthy criticism. Criticisms that aren’t just out of spite or disappointment but have an understanding of the art at work. At the end of the day I think we need to come back to the realization that the people on the other end of the web are just that. People. Creators trying to make something they think will make people happy or will tell a story they desperately hope someone out in this wide world will relate to. So next time you decide to react to something with overwhelming negativity maybe digest it a little, understand the motive behind it, & try & experience living as the human behind the product.