Blog: Reclaiming My Creativity & Reclaiming My Voice

I know, I know. I’m a day late on this one.

Apologies.

I, of late, have found myself bumping into limitation. Whether it’s limitation around the current state of the industry/the world, limitation around the things I think I are feasible, or limitation around when I feel talented or have a free flow of creativity; I keep finding myself hitting walls.

Now I’m quite certain a lot of these are limitations self imposed by my own mind, by my own subconscious because I had the man in the mirror telling me I wasn't enough. He would say that I wasn't rich enough, wasn’t connected enough, wasn’t related to the right people or that I couldn’t write good enough songs, couldn’t sing well enough, didn’t have the right charisma to find success in the music industry. And quite frankly that’s all a load of horse shit.

I began going into writes & going into studio sessions putting immense pressure on myself to “perform.” I thought I had to come up with the most cleaver lyrics, the greatest hooks, but every time I went to write I felt like the song I wanted to write was locked away from me on the other side of an invisible barrier. I felt I couldn’t access the parts of my brain I wanted & it became so insanely frustrating.

I will admit that part of my issue, specifically when it came to the pressure I was putting on myself around vocal performance came from being on the flip side of several months therapy for vocal cord dysfunction. I felt like I’d lost my voice, like every noise that came out of my throat was pure, stinking garbage because once again, comparison was the thief of my joy…a common theme in my life. So, much like Irma S. Rombauer had to do for cooking, I had to rediscover the joy of singing.

What had once been a liberating platform for which I could openly express emotion & passion had become the thing I dreaded most. I hated the sound of my voice on recording, I hate the way I thought I sounded in a mic, so I barely sang for about a year because doing so filled me with nothing but shame, defeat, & terror.

I honestly have two things to thank for my vocal recovery, outside of therapy. Greg Breal, a dear friend of mine who became my vocal coach & musical theater. It’s odd, rediscovering something, especially when that something has been such a pivotal point in your life but it’s really a lot like having coffee with an old friend; the foundation, love, & admiration are there but you’re seeing it all in a new light, through a different lens, & with new, completely separate life experiences under your belt.

I started singing because of music theater. I started my music career on a stage telling stories through music. That’s what led me to country music, a genre that, used to at least, be about telling stories through music. The reason music theater became my beacon once again was due to COVID. I found myself, as many of us did, trying to fill the time we had while trapped inside, so I began rewatching musicals. (You can probably thank Hamilton for that desire.) Rewatching naturally shifted to going back to soundtracks which led me naturally to Wicked.

…I actually think it was Tik Tok that led me back to Wicked thanks to illegal recordings of Jessica Vosk belting her face off during her tenure as Elphaba on Broadway. At any rate Defying Gravity, as it always does, got stuck in my head. The line I found myself repeating over & over & over was:

Something has changed within me
Something is not the same
I'm through with playing by the rules
Of someone else's game
Too late for second-guessing
Too late to go back to sleep
It's time to trust my instincts
Close my eyes and leap!

It's time to try defying gravity
I think I'll try defying gravity
And you can't pull me down!

I couldn’t escape it. I couldn’t get it out of my head for the life of me, I think there was a reason behind that. I took the song to Greg in the summer, where I’d been singing pop, country, & originals with him, I decided to try music theater one week. I decided to sing Defying Gravity. Greg loved it. He told me it was the freest, most passionate he’d heard me sing in a long time so I ran with it. I began playing piano singing it, singing it in the shower, while washing my hands, in the car, but I strangely never listened to it, I let it become my own living with the lyrics & feeling its energy.

From there it went from “On My Own” & “I Dreamed A Dream” from Les Mis (a show I actually loathe) to “Go The Distance” from Hercules to “Out There” from Hunchback of Notre Dame (a seriously underrated Disney movie.) Then Folklore came out.

I am unabashedly a Swiftie, I think Taylor is one of the greatest songwriters out there & I think she has navigated the music industry magnificently. Folklore was an album that at its core was minimalist. It was often piano, vocal, guitar, & drums with a tiny bit of production & that made it extremely accessibly to me, the quarantined singer-songwriter. I could probably sit at my piano & play you the entirety of Folklore in my own keys.

I was sitting there plunking on the keys one day when I realized something. I was humming. I was audibly making music with my voice subconsciously, something I hadn’t done in months. I had done it. I had reclaimed my voice, I had grown accustomed to its new way of opportunity, to its new life. I began recording again, I began releasing music again, I began posting videos again. The progress was slow & I am still learning & adapting but I’m finally back to loving my gifts & the music I can make with them.

I want to backtrack a wee bit to talk about writing. Yes, I am still writing & yes, a lot of the songs I’ve written recently are songs I’m very proud of because I’ve realized the only thing limiting me was myself. The only thing restricting the ideas I had & the words I wrote was myself. Much like my journey with my voice, I am reclaiming my creativity, becoming more comfortable in the unknown, & becoming reinvigorated knowing I can write kickass songs. I started journaling daily, creative writing, free writing, whatever. Just getting ideas out. I started to write out the restrictions in my life; what I was afraid of, who I was angry at, what I was holding onto that it was okay to acknowledge & let go of. I found peace & granted myself forgiveness & grace & almost immediately the ideas started pouring back into my brain.

I’m still grappling with my fears especially when it comes to solo writing but I’ve decided it’s time to move on. It’s time to be a confident human who deserves success, who deserves a flourishing career in this industry. I’ve decided I am an amazing vocalist, an incredible songwriter, & a worthy artist. I am worthy of my dreams, of my talents, now I just have to get out of my own way & let them shine. I am limitless, & strong, & more than capable. Yes, something has changed within me & something is truly not the same. I’m so over playing by the rules of what someone else or what I say should limit me.

It’s time I try defying gravity.

Blog: It’s Okay To Give Up On The Apology You May Never Get

Hi folk!

Interesting topic for this week’s blog, no? I’m sure the title put some people on edge before I’d even began but I felt compelled to write about this, this week. I actually started jotting down ideas for this blog throughout my week as I’ve been reading more introspective literature & doing more personal evaluation all in the name of trying to clear the debris that’s gotten in the way of my creative processes especially when it comes to writing. As I’ve stated before in blogs, specifically those regarding the state of the world or the way people treat other people, I have often found myself dwelling on anger. Not an emotion or a feeling I typically enjoy & usually, despite my sign (Aries), something I maintain fairly well outside of the flashes that occasionally arise in me. I was angry & I couldn’t for the life of me pinpoint what was causing it.

I’ve been doing quite a bit of journaling, answering some difficult questions about myself; the emotions & memories that live inside of me, amongst other things. I was prompted one afternoon to answer the following question:

“Why Are You Angry?”

My first response was “psh, I’m not!” That was a lie. You see, deep down I had this building, nagging rage that I couldn’t explain & really sitting & reflecting upon this question brought me to the realization that I was angry. In fact very much so.

The next prompt was:

“Is there anything you haven’t forgiven yourself or someone else for?”

That’s when it struck me.

You see I’d been dwelling upon this desire, this festering, insistent desire that I knew was farfetched at the best of times & was ultimately bogging me down. I was waiting for an apology that knew I will probably never receive. That’s a hard thing to live with, especially if that person is no longer in your life & even more so if that person is still a constant in your life but nonetheless we all still live with it.

We’re all human, we all make mistakes, we all hurt each other & sometimes we don’t realize the extent to which we’ve done damage to another person. Sometimes we don’t even realize we’ve done anything wrong. And that’s where this gets tough. It’s one thing entirely to ignore the pain you’ve caused someone out of pride or spite, it’s another thing entirely to be completely oblivious to it. But it doesn’t matter.

Let me say that again, it. doesn’t. matter. Bottling hurt helps no one, it benefits no one, the only thing that it does is harm you. Holding onto hurt leaves a piece of you in the past, it holds you back from growth & from realizing your true potential. Sometimes you just have to let it go.

There is peace in that, forgiveness. There is light, unfettered freedom. I’m not saying you have to ignore what someone has done to you, but I am saying that you can give yourself permission to let it go, to let bygones be bygones. I know that sometimes we so desperately just want someone to say “I’m sorry” for them to do the bare minimum & acknowledge what they’ve done but when everything in your gut is telling you that it’s never going to happen what good does it do to hold onto that distain?

I just wanted to come on here tonight & much like Elsa give you permission to let it go. To start a fresh, new day & be at peace. Acknowledge the pain, dissect it, but don’t keep holding onto it. You deserve better than that, you’re worthy of feeling better than that. So just let it go. I know it’s not always that simple but it is. It’s okay to say “thank you for protecting me, for making me feel like I’m deserving of an apology but you’ve surpassed your usefulness in my life & in my mind, but it’s time for me to let it go.”

You’re worthy of being at peace, of feeling light & unrestrained. Love yourself enough to see that.

Blog: Wear The Dress

Self confidence is a lot like a day at the river. Some people are fearless, swinging gallantly into the current without a care in the world. Others of us are a little more timid, entering the water one step at a time, carefully calculating each submerged rock, cranny, & finding footing before we shift our weight & commit to the step. Then, there are those who spend their whole lives sat on the banks, never knowing the joy they miss, always wondering what might be.

My first thought in making this analogy was to make it about a pool; same concept, different aptitudes. The reason I chose the river over the pool boils down to one thing. The current. You see a pool has minimal current at best while a river has the potential to sweep you off your feet & carry you away. A river has a higher threshold for fear & therefore is something we deem to be more dangerous. You see those who would deter you from entering a pool are few & far between (that is unless you’ve got your phone in your pocket or it simply isn’t the time for swimming.) Where as those who fear the current more readily voice their opinions & hesitations.

So how does this all relate? What does this have to do with my title, “Wear The Dress?” Allow me to explain. You see, a few months ago something entered the collective consciousness of American society that I feel has yet to have fully exit its media cycle; Harry Styles wore a dress on the cover of Vogue magazine. For whatever reason a lot of right-wing pendants were infuriated by this & became all up in arms about “the fall of masculinity” & the “loss of manly men.” Notice how I said American society above, majority of other countries couldn’t have cared less. I, myself, was so blown away by the sheer stupidity of this backlash that I went out & made a post in solidarity with Styles where I myself wore a dress.

See below:

Before you come for me, yes, I know that Harry is not the first man to wear a dress for a photoshoot, that’s part of why the controversy is so outlandish. I also understand that this look is not for everyone & you know what? THAT’S OKAY!!!!! But isn’t it incredible to be able to have the freedom to express oneself outside the confines of the status quo in a manner that does literally no harm to anyone else?

I’m sure if you’ve made it this far into the blog you’re beginning to ask yourself, “what’s the point?” I’m getting there I promise, but pretext is important. You see there’s a really lovely quote that Rick Barker, Taylor Swift’s former manager says when he’s dealing with artist that I think applies perfectly lot life as well. It follows:

“I have artists that come to me every day asking me to make them the next Taylor Swift & I tell them no. Not because I don’t think I couldn’t do it but because there’s already a Taylor Swift who is doing the best “Taylor Swift” that anyone out there is going to do. So you go do the best “you” that you can do, because there’s no one out there who is going to do a better “you” than you can.”

— Rick Barker

We are each unique in our own way, the status quo is just an illusion, it is a prison that restricts us. It keeps us from being who we so desperately know we are & want to be. It is the naysayers sat on the bank telling you you’ll never survive the current because you dare to be different from them, you dare to live freely & express yourself boldly without limitation. The dress is not for everyone but then again neither are blue jeans, neither are painted nails or certain lengths or styles of hair but if that’s what makes you, you & makes you feel the most you then by all means wear them & wear them boldly. I understand that to a lot of us these little things are the great plunge from the rope swing into the river so I would challenge you to find your wading steps. Paint one nail, wear it out, see how you feel. Remember that bravery is not always grandiose & brazen nor will you always feel comfortable in your bolder steps but give yourself the patience to live in them & accept them as a part of yourself if you so feel they are.

Don’t for a second think that this is limited to your outward appearance or your public presentation either; your inner machinations are just as important, if not more so than the statements you provide externally. Love who you love, unapologetically! Stand up for what you believe is right. But at the end of the day be sure to check in on yourself, be honest & vulnerable, don’t judge the things you find based on how the world tells you that you should. You are enough, you have always been. You have everything you need contained inside the vessel you inhabit & that is beautiful, powerful, & inspiring. You never know who needs to see the person you are living bolding & unapologetically, you never know whose life you might change or even save just from being you.

So wear the dress.

-C

P.S.

I wanted to end on that point but I also felt inclined to level with you & tell you that this blog is as much for you, the reader, as it is for me, the writer. I’m having to unlearn a lot of things the society I grew up in taught me, I’m having to come to terms with myself & who I am wholeheartedly. The good, the bad, the ugly, all of it makes up me. And believe me, I have my days of doubt & struggle just as much as you do but I am working on it & I’m giving myself patience & grace in the meantime.

Blog: Happy 2021!

Well we’re back!

I promised myself, as well as you all, that I was going to get back into blogging in the new year. It’s something I’ve sorely missed & based on the amount of you that I know have read them in the past, so have a lot of you! I’m going to do my best to be as consistent as possible going forward, not just in here but also with music releases, shows, videos, etc. because I’ve fallen behind.

I don’t want to spend a lot of time on it, because I am truly done living in 2020, but I think I’d be remiss if I didn’t address the damage that our lost year did on yours truly.

I’ve written a lot in the past, quite openly about my mental health struggles. There’s no doubt 2020 reaped havoc on my mental health plunging me head first back into depression & a brain fog that’s intolerable on its best days. It’s incredibly frustrating. This last year has been especially hard on those of us who perform for a living, who are out here chasing a dream that felt like it had to be put on hold indefinitely. I already felt as though I was slipping through the cracks of the music industry, this all just magnified that feeling.

In addition to my mental health, my physical health has drastically diminished over the last year. I was in fairly decent shape going into march; I was working out consistently, eating really well, but all of that went out the window after march when hardcore workouts became all but impossible.

You see, I’ve dipped into this lull that I’ve spent the latter part of last year trying to claw my way back out of. I try to make a change, to get back to being productive, to being better at self promotion but I slide right back into it. Objects in motion & all that, but I want to change that, nay, I need to change that. I need so desperately to move forward, to make progress, to feel like myself again because I am suffering. My mental health demands it, my physical health demands it, I must make the change & be better.

All of that being said, as I’ve stated before on this platform, I loathe new year’s resolutions, they aren’t practical or helpful, but I do emphasize the point of self growth quite often. If I were to categorize my growth I’ve shriveled quite a bit, I’ve stalled, I’m stagnant. I need to grow again, to flourish again & the only way to do that is with work. Growth takes work.

So here’s what I’m hoping to accomplish. Consistency.

Blogs. Every Friday.

Vlogs. Once A Month.

A return to tubesday?

…

We’ll see on that one haha.

Definitely more singing though!

More self promotion, more fan promotion, more fan interaction.

Finally launching the merch store!

Rediscovering my passion for solo writes.

More singles. More music.

More collabs.

I need you all to hold me to these things. I need you to message me on Friday evening if a blog hasn’t popped up yet to say “hey! get to writing!” I need you to ask about new music, let me know which things you loved & which you hate. I want to hear from you all as fans. I want to know what you’re looking for from me as an artist, what you wish I offered more of, what drew you to me as an artists, etc. I whole heartedly want to include you all more on this journey, because the truth is, without you all I’m just a sad boy with a guitar haha.

At any rate I want to wish you all the happiest of 2021s. I’m pretty sure it’ll be easy to beat last year but I’m really hoping we can knock this one out of the park!

Much love to you all, thank you for the support & happy new year!

-C

Blog: Thankful!

Happy belated thanksgiving to all my American folks! I guess also a happy super belated thanksgiving to my Canadian folks as well! I hope it was a safe, civil, calorically dense holiday for you all!

I think it’s time I got back to blogging, the US election is over, a lot of us can breathe easy now & for that I am thankful. In fact, in the spirit of the holiday, I thought I’d make a list of things this year that I’m thankful for. I know we’ve had a hell of a year & for a lot of us, myself included, gratefulness seems like a taboo subject at this point. This year has been beyond exhausting for a lot of us, especially living in Tennessee, especially those of us in the entertainment industry who feel like our job is impossible right now. I wanted to take the time & reflect on the aspects of this year that are bright points in my life!

I’m thankful for time, thankful that I’ve had the privilege of reflection, thankful I’ve been able to slow down & find answers within myself as well as externally.

I’m thankful for answers, I’m thankful that my health issues are finally being resolved & that the cause has been discovered & the remedy is being administered.

I’m thankful for strength, I’ve battled some severe moments of depression this year, those disheartening moments when you find out the people you love aren’t who you thought they were & look out more for themselves than those in need.

I’m thankful for love. I’m thankful for those who care for me through my valleys, through my bolder moments, though my pain & my shortcomings.

I’m thankful for introspection, for all that I’ve learned about myself. I’m thankful for the courage I’ve unearthed in myself. I’m thankful for the self acceptance I’ve developed.

I’m thankful for support. I’ve thankful for those who have stood by me over the years, for those who have gone out of their way to help me achieve my dreams. I’m thankful for those who listen to my songs, who read this blog, who watch my videos.

I’m thankful for contentment. I’m thankful for finding peace in the hurricane, for learning to live in the uncertainty, I’m thankful for patience.

I’m thankful for progress, not only internally but also in my career, despite the COVID conditions. I have my first ever label release coming up, I’m thankful for that!

I’m trying to live a more grateful life & not get caught up on the little things. I’m trying to be a happier person, to not be so angry at the world all the time, something I’ve really struggled with especially over the last year & its political season. I’m still learning everyday, still trying to grow & be more “me” day by day.

All love to you all, I’m thankful for you & wish you well during the holiday season to come.

Blog: Why No Blogs?

Where have my weekly blogs gone? Why have they disappeared? Well to be fair, they haven’t, I just haven’t been able to post any of the ones I’ve drafted. You see I’m angry, I’m actually beyond angry, I’m livid & it’s not something I can hide any longer.

Every week, for the past whenever I’ve sat down to write a blog. In the past I’ve written on political issues, social issues, recipes, recommendations, details on song construction, etc. I usually try to write what is on my heart for that week to keep things current. That being said, the last few weeks, months, etc. what’s been weighing on my heart is the state of this union & quite frankly, I’m disgusted & I am tired.

I see so many people out here making excuses for the monstrous behavior exhibited by the current administration of the United States. Too many people are okay with the actions of the president & his gooneys, too many people have grown complicit. It seems daily that another new atrocity is unearthed around the Trump administration but a lot of people I know & care about don’t care. At all.

Do you know how hard it is to make something care about something that doesn’t effect them? Do you know how hard it is to try & force people into having an ounce of empathy, into having seeing the what the consequences of their vote have had one marginalized groups. Do you know how infuriating it is to try to show people what is happening just for them to chalk it up to fake news or choose to remain complicit?! It makes it incredibly hard to believe that someone loves or cares about their neighbor when they turn a blind eye to the suffering their chosen leaders inflict upon them.

I’m not going to get into the specifics of Democrats vs. Republicans, I’m not, mostly because the past has shown me that people simply don’t care. Their feelings are easier for them to digest than facts. I know this goes both ways, but we have a wanna be fascist regime in office. I’m not speculating, I’m not hyperbolizing, the things they say are literally fascist/authoritarian rhetoric. I’m someone who has voted on both sides of the aisle BECAUSE I do the research, I look into the problems & see who has the solution that makes the most sense. I do the research. I’m also someone who considers themselves very politically literate so being dismissed as “whatever” “you don't really know” is frankly insulting.

Your black brothers & sisters are crying out for help, your immigrant brothers & sisters are crying out for help, your low income families are crying out for help, your LGBTQ children are crying out for help, your veterans, your Latinos, the Earth we literally all have to live on, are all crying out for help & you’re turning their back on them. All for the sake of an “R” on your ballot. I’m tired of it. Grow a little damn empathy & see how you’re hurting those you claim to love. Open your eyes.

This country WILL NOT survive another four years of this current administration. Do I think the alternative is without fault, hell no, but I see a chance to course correct the destruction & divisiveness of the last four years & I’m taking that, as should you. If you want this nation to continue, if you truly believe the tenets of the Constitution then for the love of God save this Republic.

I’m sorry for the rant but I’m so, so tired. Your neighbors are so, so tired. People are literally out here fighting for their basic human rights & you can’t be bothered to give a shit. Time to own up & open your mind.

Blog: Lover In The Sheets, Bigot In The Streets

Hi folks, how’re we doing? I hope the answer is incredible!

Earlier this week I had the privilege of consuming Homecoming King by Hasan Minhaj, his hour & some change comedy special on Netflix. In said comedy special Hasan effortlessly balances comedy & tragedy by telling the story of his life as an Islamic Indian American living in California. Hasan’s experience that he describes has a definite through line that carries across time & is still very poignant today, despite most of it having happened over ten to fifteen years ago. It is a point that I found extremely relevant to our modern political climate here in the state, though I think it translates overseas as well. Hasan, who rose to prominence through The Daily Show with John Stewart as well as his own show, Patriot Act, lays out this ostracizing of groups he refers to as “the other” within American society & highlights a problem that many of us who identify as “not racist” seem to want to ignore. I think this blog will end up being something similar to my blog regarding LGBTQIA+ affirmation but it incorporates the broader topic of not only sexuality or gender identify but also race. These topics have commonalities, though they are altogether inherently different. However, for the sake of this argument, for the sake of “the other” we’ll be incorporating the two together as I’d like to further add to Hasan’s point. I think the best place to start here is with the simplicity that Hasan distills this down to. One simple phrase that I’m sure we’ve all heard or thought;

What. Will. People. Think?

You see in Hasan’s narrative he comes face to face with two very distinct types of racism; having his family threatened & the windows of their car smashed out the evening of September 11th, 2001, and not being allowed to take his white date to prom because there were going to be pictures, evidence she had gone with someone they considered to be “other.” Naturally I’d like to focus on the latter here as the former, while it still runs rampant, at the very least is outwardly & actively frowned upon by those who actually have a brain between their ears. I want to talk about that silent form of bigotry, the kind that sneaks up, that makes you lock your car doors in that “bad” neighborhood, the kind that says “love the sinner, not the sin,” the kind that causes you to save face. That’s they kind I want to shine a light on here.

You see the most heartbreaking part about Hasan’s story, to me, is not necessarily that it happened, because any person of color will tell you, racism happens just as any LGBTQIA+ person will tell you homophobia/transphobia happen, just as any non-christian will tell you xenophobia happens. (Not that it’s okay that they do, but they do happen.) The thing that is heartbreaking is that Hasan thought these people were different; this was a white family who under normal circumstances had welcomed him into their home, had broken bread with him, treated him like an equal, had gone as far as to tell him they loved him but when it came time to do so in the public eye their love had conditions. Hasan couldn’t go to prom with their daughter not because “they didn’t love him” or think he was a stand up lad but because there would be pictures of them together, people would see their daughter with someone they considered to be a part of “the other.” At first a lot of us may be thinking, shame on them, I would never, & that may be true, you may never but I can’t help think further down the rabbit hole on this.

Let me ask you this. How many queer individuals have “accepting” parents that introduce their partner as their friend or roommate? How non-binary or trans individuals have people in their lives that don’t honor their chosen pronouns? How many people exclude a particular person because they wouldn’t fit the rest of the group simply based on their racial or religious background? How many keep in tact the boys club solely on merit or shame other cultures simply because they don’t understand them & have no interest in trying to? Isn’t it amazing how loud actions often contradict the words of those who claim to not have fear or prejudice living in their hearts?

What will people think?

Screw that.

Who the hell cares?!

Love with conditions is neither love nor is it worth your time. If your precious image is more important to you than loving another human, and I mean truly loving them as they are, not as you’d like them to be or as society or your faith says you should then you are no better than those who scream slurs from the side of the street. Be better. Choose to be better, choose love first, we’d all be a lot better off.

Much love to you all,

Thanks for reading!

Blog: Being Productive In The Midst of A Global Pandemic

Hi Friends!

How are we today?

On a scale of one to ten, ten being the most, how productive would you say you were today? Is that a number you’re happy with? Is that a number that feels like it has been pretty constant over the course of the last couple months? I’ve been doing a bit of outreach all week; to friends, to colleagues, etc. to see kind of how people have been handling self improvement during the COVID-19 pandemic & what I’ve if an overabundance of proof that most of us are struggling. I get it, I really do. There’s no where to go, nothing to do, no way to travel, or in my line of work, play shows. It’s hard to be a frowardly mobile person when the world feels like it has stopped dead in its tracks, at least in the states…

So what’s to be done? How do we break the monotony? By adding more.

Hear me out. Productivity is a habit, Newton’s first law of motion explains:

“An object at rest stays at rest & an object in motions stays in motion...”

— Sir Isaac Newton

This is you. You are the object in this scenario. If you’ve developed a habit of stagnation, you must replace it with one of mobility. How do you have mobility when you can’t go anywhere? Establish routines. Now is the perfect time to be establishing a routine, a diet, a workout regimen, etc, because you have the time & mental space to do so. Here’s what I recommend, even if you can’t be productive in your chosen career field, that doesn’t mean you can’t still establish habits that can be applied post-COVID.

Here’s where we start; your alarm clock. First off, if you’re not setting an alarm, it’s time to start. I’m aware a lot of us, 22.4% of us, are out of work right now, but your routines are still important. Set your alarm for 30 minutes earlier than normal, then here’s how I want you to break down that 30.

Minutes 1-4: Drink a large glass of water, take your allergy meds, drink your coffee.

Minutes 5-10: Stretch, specifically doing cat/cows (look it up.) Cat/cows open up your spinal column & get your spinal fluid moving.

Minutes 11-14: Do 25 reps of an exercise. Could be push-ups, sit-ups, squats, lunges, pull-ups, etc vary this daily but get the blood moving.

Minutes 15-24: Meditate. Doesn’t have to be some spiritualist experience, just center your thoughts, center your mind & body & breathe for 10 minutes.

Minutes 25-30 Journal: Write out how you’re feeling, write out what you need to do that day, write out how something resolved, get out all the mental clutter & lay it out before you so you can start your day with a clear mind. 1 whole page of journaling, write til it’s full. No cheating, no short hand.

And there you are, that’s your new morning routine. Do it daily, you’ll be amazed how driven & clear the day ahead feels after this. Best of all, it puts your body in motion, gets you moving right off the bat so you can carry that energy throughout your day.

From here you branch out; add a strict diet regimen, add working out in, add daily tasks you can do that will advance your career. You’ll be amazed how clearly new ideas present themselves to you once you put the body in motion. It can’t just be your physical body you’re putting in motion, it has to be all aspects. Digestion, cardio vascular, muscular, mental, spiritual, all of it must be prepared for the day ahead for you to be successful.

I truly hope this helps you, it’s been helping me a lot! You have to stick to it though & be disciplined, it takes 42 days to form a habit so make yours about forward momentum.

Blog: To Naya

To Naya,

I know you & I never met. I also know this blog may come across as opportunistic but I promise my intent is simply to educate. I wanted to shine a light on some of your accomplishments for those out there who may not truly understand the magnitude of your contributions.

I’d be lying if I said the show Glee wasn’t a huge part of my late high school years, hell I used to tweet out the week’s featured songs a week before each episode aired but as a choir/theater kid Glee really spoke to me. I also know the Glee wasn’t your entire life or career, but for those of you out there who were not like myself, a former Gleek, I need to fill you in on Naya’s role in the series. Naya played Santana Lopez, a character that, for all intents & purposes, started out as an antagonist of the show. Santana would do her best as a cheerleader to sabotage the glee club, even going as far as to join to try & destroy it from the inside out. So, why is Naya’s role so important to pop culture? Well, Santana Lopez was a Latinx character that often directly pointed out the cherry picking that American culture, specifically white American culture, & history often do when it comes to the Latinx community. More on Santana as a character in a moment.

Now, I’ll be one of the first to admit the Glee’s writing was cringey at best sometimes, it also featured quite a few problematic cast members during its run & often made broad missteps by today’s cultural standards but the one thing Glee really had working for it was representation. Glee wasn’t afraid to incorporate gritty stories, often dealing with suicide, bullying, racism, LGBTQIA+ issues, domestic abuse, etc. this is once again where Naya comes into play.

Santana wasn’t just a beautifully realized Latina, she was also Lesbian, a revelation that took several seasons of character growth to unearth. You see the amazing part of Santana was how unapologetically she lived. She loved who she loved & she stood her ground & fought for the things she wanted even when those she loved turned their back on her simply for being herself. I know so many people who derived strength from that.

I know it may sound silly to say that representation in a show from 10 years ago matters but it does, it matters so very much. We live in a world that often tells people it’s not okay to be who they are, it’s not okay to feel the things they do, or love the people they do & this, this beautifully imperfect show gave so many people hope. It showed so many people that they are worth of love & their dreams & looking back Naya’s performance was definitely a pillar of that.

Naya, I hope you were so proud of that. I hope you realized how much you changed this world for the better. I hope you know how many lives you saved, how much courage you instilled in people who were struggling, & how many people are truly living free thanks to you. I hope you rest easy, I hope you know how grateful so many of us on the earth are for you & the gifts you shared. You have changed the world for the better & you are gone far too soon but you left a truly earth shaking legacy behind you.

Rest in peace Naya. Much love to you & yours.

Blog: Vocal Cord Dysfunction

Hi all,

How are we doing?! I hope you’re doing well, I hope you haven’t missed me too much but I wanted to take the opportunity in this Friday blog to fill in some of the gaps of my absence the last couple of months. I’m going to do my best to jump right into this & not keep it too long winded but I also I know I can get carried away when it comes to blogging from time to time. Let’s get into it.

As a lot of you who follow me may have noticed I’ve been pretty scarce, vocally, over the last few months. While everyone else has been doing Instagram/Facebook Live sessions I have been fairly quiet. There is a reason for that. First, let me rewind a bit before I give away my prognosis…if we’re not counting the way I have in the title.

Back in the Fall of 2019 I began to have shortness of breath, mostly brought on by exercise & I assumed I was developing asthma. From there the shortness of breath began to develop into constant phlegm sitting on my vocal cord which I have to quite loudly adjust to get to go away. These symptoms developed further til about early April when my shortness of breath was getting so bad I could barely breathe sitting on the couch. Naturally, giving the climate of the world, I assumed it was COVID-19, thankfully it wasn’t.

I sought the assistance of a doctor who, while unable to see me in person to properly diagnose me, added me to some asthma medication to give them a try. I was on these for about a month before I was finally able to go & see a pulmonologist. We did a series of breathing tests before she came to the conclusion that I don’t have asthma at all, in fact what I’ve been suffering from is a combination of several things; Vocal Cord Dysfunction, Silent Reflux, & Severe Allergies.

What is vocal cord dysfunction you ask? Well, I’ll tell you. Vocal cord dysfunction (VCD) is when you inspire (breathe in) & your vocal folds clinch up restricting the flow of air into your lungs instead of remaining neutral & wide open to let the air in properly. What causes it? In short, fear. Not like physical fear of the dark or whatever but fear of damage. You see your vocal folds, in addition to phonation, are in place to prevent debris from entering the lungs. In my case I have “debris” coming from two places: my stomach (silent reflux) & my nasal passage (severe allergies.) My vocal cords have grown so accustomed to being a secondary epiglottis for me that I now find myself in a position of completely having to retrain my vocal cords.

Did you catch what I said there? I have to retrain my vocal cords. Completely. I first must retrain them that it’s okay to stay open when inspiring, which I’m in physical therapy for. I also have to find the root of the assailants in my body & treat that. So I’ve been taking medical grade antacids, I’ve gone & done an allergy panel to pin point exactly what’s causing them (the answer being mold & dust mostly) & I’ll soon need to start therapy to lighten my allergies.

In addition to having to relearn how to breathe naturally, I’m having to retrain my vocal cords to sing, hence my absence. If I’m being honest I’ve been fairly self conscious of my current voice, it’s not anywhere near where I feel I should be. It’s also very frustrating because I feel all of this is halting or even back peddling my music career. I haven’t gone live or posted singing videos because, in my current state, I do not feel comfortable doing so. I’m embarrassed of the voice I have right now.

I know that is in part psychological, I’m doing the work there as well, but it’s a road block I’m still doing my best daily to find my way around. I’ll get there, I swear. At any rate I hope you found this informative & not too medical or scientific, I tried to keep it relatable & easy to digest. I just wanted to fill you all in & let you know the path I’ve been down the last few months. I’m so thankful for your continued support & hope to be back singing for you all very soon!

Much Love,

Charlie

Blog: No One Feels Skinny When Their Jeans Don't Fit

Hi!

I know, I know, it’s been a hot minute since I blogged, mostly because I felt I didn’t have much to blog about. I’m sure a lot of you are in this boat with my where life feels pretty stagnant especially during quarantine. We all feel like the Earth has stopped spinning; days become weeks, weeks become months, & before we knew it a half a year has slipped by. Sorry if that scares you by the way, yes we’re already on the verge of being halfway through with the year 2020. I wanted to make this blog last week but it felt to me that it needed a little more breathing time so I let it sit for a bit. I’m glad I did. You see I’ve become a bit of a council point for people, for whatever reason during this bizarre time. I’m flattered, I really am, but I was talking about two things last week with two separate parties, both of whom had gotten a little stir crazy & were feeling the effects mentally as a lot of us are. I tried to be as encouraging as my often pessimistic mind will allow but everything I’d say seemed to fall short, then it clicked with me. I think originally I said “it’s hard to feel beautiful when your jeans don’t fit” but I think I’d like to modify that.

It’s hard to feel skinny when your jeans don’t fit.

I mean that in the most metaphoric way possible. It doesn’t specifically have to apply to weigh or physicality but I think during this time, especially all these months later, it’s hard to have patience with ourselves or to allow ourselves grace. I’m beyond guilt of it, I mean, I’m currently writing this in a pretty terrible mood because I put on a shirt I used to wear all the time & it feels two sizes too small. That hurt. I’ve tried my best to stay healthy during all of this but the availability of exercise & healthy eating has diminished substantially. I’ll tell you I’m someone who hates home workouts, they just don’t do it for me, they allow me too much room for laziness. I also have a hard time going for runs daily or every other day, I have pretty bad shin splints. So to say I haven’t put on weight during this, between the lack of exercise & the amount of carbs & sugar I’ve consumed, would be a lie. So, I get it. It’s hard to feel sexy, skinny, whatever when your jeans don’t fit, or I guess in my case, when your sweater doesn’t fit.

Like I said above, I don’t just mean this about your clothes mysteriously shrinking, I mean this all around. I’ve struggled creatively through all of this, I derive a lot of my song ideas from conversation & social situations. I also had to cancel all of the shows that I put months into booking. It’s hard to be in the entertainment business & feel stagnant but knowing there’s really not much you can do to propel your career onward short of social media. I’m doing my best to be patient & be kind to myself, though there are days I falter.

Let me say this here. You are allowed to be upset, you’re allowed to be annoyed & frustrated, those are all valid responses to being locked in your home for two months. You’re allowed to not be okay. It truly is okay to not be okay, to feel less than. We’ve all been there. It’s okay to have breakdowns, to feel defeated, it is okay. But give yourself grace. Give yourself the patience you tell others to give themselves. Treat yourself like you tell your friends, your loved ones, your cohorts to do, because you deserve it.

I think that’s all I’ve got for you today, just a small moment of vulnerability. Please, please, please take care of yourself, know you are loved, know you are important. We will get through this, be responsible, respectful of other's health & safety, & be kind to yourself.

Much love to you all,

Charlie

Blog: Obliterated

About two & a half years ago I was sitting on the steps inside my former manager’s Hollywood apartment jotting lyrics into my notes app to a song, humming softly to each line that popped into my head, all while Danny sat less than three feet to my left at the computer programing a track. This song started as an idea I had in passing about those who had lost their love & never recovered, those whose hearts had been truly & utterly “Obliterated.” Fast forward to today when I’m having my first ever international feature release with an artist I’ve come to call a friend, Hektor Mass!

Don’t worry, don’t worry, I’m going to fill in the details from the last 2.5 years, I’m just currently in a bit of a state of disbelief that this song is finally seeing the light of day, especially in its current form!

If you don’t know songwriters there’s a little known fact about us that I think the outside world should know. Much like your Miranda Rights, anything you say or do can be used against you in a song. Thus many of us have hidden lists; in our phones, on our computers, in notebooks, on random post-it notes, of all the things we’ve heard in passing or all the thoughts that crossed our head that we think would make intriguing song ideas. As I mentioned above (see above), I had the idea for a completely decimated heart in passing. I’m not entirely sure how long it sat in my notes, but I don’t feel like it was there for that long before it got put to use.

The fire that ignited the idea for Obliterated, sonically, came from a song called “Lips on You” by Maroon 5. Danny, otherwise known as The Delta Mode, & I were driving around in Billie, our former manager’s, car & I had the aux. I put on the song & remarked about loving the production, to which Danny said “you know we should do something in the similar vein!” That was really all it took. We got back from BevMo & immediately got to work on the song.

I remember it not taking long to write. I remember it lyrically being a very stream of consciousness idea as Danny started to assemble the bones that would make up parts of the track you hear today. I’d pitch him lines, he’d tweak them lyrically or melodically or offer me another approach, but the song as a whole took about 30-45 minutes to write that day. I remember Danny & I had a long discussion regarding the use of the word “Obliterated” itself. At the time the idea was to do the song then potentially release it under The Delta Mode, so Danny’s concern was that German audiences, where he lives, wouldn’t be able to say/understand the word. My counterpoint was “good, make them look it up, drive more views to the song.” So the lyric stayed.

After the initial write was done Danny set up a small tracking mic in Billie’s closet. Truly a three foot by two foot space with a ceiling that sat about five and a half feet tall. For those that have never seen me in person, I’m a tall gent, 6’4” to be exact, so did I record vocals with my head cocked to the side, right up against the ceiling the whole time? You bet your ass I did.

The session itself happened at some point in the afternoon. I think I, myself, took a break & ventured down to Barry’s in Hollywood. By the time I got back Danny had taken Billie’s Ovation guitar & recorded a drop lick very reminiscent of Slash himself! Of course it had gone through compressors & filters galore to get from sounding like an acoustic guitar to an electric but parts of that guitar line are still present in the songs current form!

From there we had a very well produced demo, it got passed around amongst our friends & collaborators & everyone was head over heals for it, but I thought it was missing something. A second verse. See, at this point in time the song was just a verse, pre-chorus, chorus, & post chorus then it had a drop & would repeat everything save the verse a few times. I sat with the song for weeks trying to wrap my head around a second verse idea but I couldn’t for the life of me recapture the inspiration I had the afternoon it was written. So I took it to Evan Michael. Evan was very keen to write on the song, he loved the idea, the melody, etc. He was able to see the song from an outside perspective & find new angles to come at it with. And thus the second verse was born.

From here the song entered a series of disagreements. Danny would want one thing, I’d want another, we’d try to compromise to no avail; I am hardheaded after all. Danny himself claims to have done about a hundred different versions of the song but was never happy with it himself, so it was put on ice for about a year. The next time the song came up was to be under the newly minted Delta Mode, a group that expanded outside of just Danny & his brothers, in which the production would be cut back to the original demo, vocals would be recut, & the second verse would be added. However, it never came to be. Once again disagreements, misunderstandings, & life got in the way & the song was iced indefinitely.

Having finished that last paragraph I’d like to interject something here. Music is a creative medium, it is very personal. We all, as musicians & songwriters, want for our vision of a song, especially one that’s personal to us, to be our vision. It’s hard to let other people’s ideas in to that vision from time to time. No one is the bad guy in this situation, no one is to blame, we’re all on good terms still, there’s no need to take sides on any of this, it’s simply the music business. Got it? Okay, good. Onward we go.

Like I said, the song was on ice for quite a while. I had many friends asking when it’d be released or how & I honestly loved how much people loved the song, I knew it had to come out in some form. Enter fate.

A friend of mine from LA, who is a writer & artist began posting a lot of different things with a Spanish gent in LA. I was curious who he was as I’d never seen him in any of his stories in the past so I acquired. He told me his name was Hektor Mass a DJ/Producer in town from Barcelona whom he was showing around. I was told to check him out, so I did! I followed Hektor, added songs of his to my workout playlist, then we began to interact with one another over Instagram. This continued for a few months before I eventually ended up in Spain for Medusa during August of 2019 & who was the headliner for the opening party of Medusa Spain? Hektor Mass.

Unfortunately I missed Hektor’s set due to delays & I was honestly a little upset I wasn’t going to get to hear his music live or have the chance to meet him face to face. Call it manifestation or destiny or whatever but on the last night of Medusa who did I see at the bar? Hektor Mass. We struck up a brief conversation, I told him about “Obliterated” & he asked me to send his way. He loved the song but wanted to put his spin on it & make it his own.

From there I reconnected with Danny after about a year of distance & he sent over the stems for the original track and Hektor & I got to work in LA. Hektor wanted to keep a lot of the bones of the track, which we did, but this is the point in which we pulled Max Hurrell into the mix. Max is an incredibly talented young producer out of Adelaide, Australia who now resides in Los Angeles, someone I am also proud to call friend. Hektor, Max, & I sat down in small classroom studio at MI Hollywood & hashed out the song. We pulled up all stems, sorted through them, kept the ones we liked, ditched the ones we didn't, & began to move forward. At this point Hektor proposed a rewrite of the verse melody, siting that he wanted it to be more rhythmic with less space to give people something to dance to live. I struggled with the idea for a while, thinking I had to rewrite these lyrics I’d grown so attached to but in the end we were able to find a nice compromise! We pulled a lot of the same lyrics but added new ones in to fill the rhythmic chunks that were missing. We gutting the chorus instead opting for a verse, pre, chorus, verse, pre, chorus, drop, chorus, post chorus set-up!

Next we went to Capitol Records’ demo studios to retrack vocals. (Thanks Jenna!) It was honestly one of the most affirming yet grueling vocal sessions of my life. Max & Hektor were looking for a very specific vocal performance out of me, which after a while I believe they got! I sang higher & fuller than I think I have on most of my tracks & left the studio that night exhausted. I’m pretty sure we ended up cutting hours of just adlib vocal.

I went home to Nashville the next day but Max & Hektor continued working on the song over the next two to three weeks replacing a large chunk of the original track & adding a whole assortment of new melodic themes & ideas into the mix. I was blown away when they sent me the initial mix. Which we then sent off to Jonathan Roye here in Nashville to mix & then to Mike Monseur for master. Finally the song was complete!

After finalizing everything the song came out today, March 13th! There’s a lyric video here:

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There are purchase links here:

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Steaming Links:

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Credits:

Performed By:

Hektor Mass, Charlie Rogers

Produced By:

Hektor Mass, Danny “The Delta Mode” Bernath, Max Hurrell

Written By:

Charlie Rogers, Danny “The Delta Mode” Bernath, Hektor Mass, Evan Michael

Drop Guitar By:

Danny “The Delta Mode” Bernath

Keys By:

Charlie Rogers, Hektor Mass, Danny “The Delta Mode” Bernath, Max Hurrell

Guitar By:

Danny “The Delta Mode” Bernath, Max Hurrell

Drums/Rhythm By:

Danny “The Delta Mode” Bernath, Max Hurrell

Synth By:

Hektor Mass, Danny “The Delta Mode” Bernath, Max Hurrell

Mixed By:

Jonathan Roye

Mastered By:

Mike Monseur

Blog: Tennessee Tornadoes

As I went to bed Monday night/Tuesday morning just after midnight, around 12:40, I received a text from my mother that said “my weather alarm just went off for a tornado just northwest of you.” My immediate assumption of this was that she was referring to the tornados in lower Kentucky, but I dutifully opened my Weather Channel app & checked. It showed me nothing, just severe thunderstorms, so I went to sleep. I was awakened two-ish hours later by my dog, Harvey, barking. Whether he was barking at the lightning or the wind or the tornado sirens (apparently they went off, I didn’t hear them at all & I had my window open) I wasn’t sure, but I went into the living room to get him to stop. While up I found Evan on his phone & who casually dropped “Five Points is gone” without looking away from his screen. I said “what do you mean Five Points is gone?” He said “a tornado came through between 12:30 & 1:30 & took it out along with a lot of East Nashville & Germantown.” Little did we know that was far from the extent of the damage. From then on I spent the next several hours going from news sites to socials to figure out exactly what had gone down.

I’m sure a lot of you have seen the extent of the damage the two EF3 tornados brought to Nashville, Clarksville, & the surrounding areas. As of this moment that I’m writing this we lost 25 of those that called Nashville home, not to mention those who are still missing. The property damage is extensive, emotions run high, but the spirit of Nashville thrives. If you didn’t know, Tennessee is know as the Volunteer State, a tradition that dates back to the War of 1812, and I can firmly say that tradition holds true to this day. The response by the people of Nashville & its surrounding counties was immediate. Shelters were set up, donation sites & hotlines were activated, ground teams were put into work, but, my friends, we’re going to need a lot of help recovering.

I didn’t want to write too much in this blog about myself or my experiences because I’m fine. My house is fine, my body is unbroken, I am fine. And for that I thank God because I have witnessed the alternative. I have a lot of people I call friends who were directly impacted by the storm; those who hid it out in their closets, behind doors, or in their bathtubs. I have friends who are still without power & running water. I have friends who lost everything but their story rings true with so many folks from Nashville, Mt. Juliet, Clarksville, & Lebanon. I wanted to make the focal point of this blog all about helping.

If you have the ability the volunteer your time head over to www.hon.org & sign up. They send out daily volunteer opportunities but be warned, they fill up quickly. If you know someone effected offer them shelter, offer to help them clean up, don’t wait around for a volunteer spot to open up just because you feel you have to. There are ongoing postings on facebook, instagram, twitter about certain areas requesting certain types of work, grab one of them.

If you have the ability to donate specific supplies the current needs are:

• Hygiene Products

• Trash Bags

• Gloves

• Box Cutters

• Leashes/Collars

• Canned Meat

• Tarps

• Water

• Non-Perishable Snacks

• Bread

• Peanut Butter

• Flashlights

• Hand Sanitizer

• Towels

• Feminine Products

• Coloring Books & Pencils

  These items can be donated at:

• The Community Resource Center located at 218 Omohundro Place

• Cross Point Church of Bellevue located at 7675 Us-70S, Nashville, TN 37221

• Second Harvest Food Bank at 331 Great Circle Road

If you’d like to donate money visit cmft.org or unitedway.org, any amount counts!

If you are in Nashville & are still in need of shelter or provisions there are shelters & food available at the following locations:

• Centennial Sportsplex (222 25th Ave N)

• East Magnet School (110 Gallatin Ave.)

• Bridgestone Arena

• American Legion Post 82 (3204 Gallatin Pike)

• Cookeville Community Center (240 Carlson Drive)

• Inner Light Yoga (2227 10th Ave S)

  Resource Hubs can be found at:

• Eastland Funeral Home-Food at Noon (904 Gallatin Ave)

• Zeal Church (5807 Charlotte Pike)

• Lee Chapel AME Church (1200 Dr. DB Todd Jr. Blvd)

• Victory Baptist Church (1777 Tate Lane)

Uhaul is offering 30 days of free self storage to displaced residents.

The following East Nashville Restaurants are offering Free Food and/or Coffee:

• Five Daughters Bakery

• Nicolettos

• Cafe Roze

• Retrograde Coffee

• Brightside Bakeshop

• Bongo East

• Grilled Cheeserie at Hunter’s Station

I have no doubt Nashville will come out the other side of this a stronger community than the already thriving one that existed here. It won’t be without its scars but I truly do believe in you Nashville. I believe in your incredible strength, endurance, & resilience. Fight on, love one another, & please do everything in your power to help each other.

I Believe In Nashville

Blog: A Case For Socialized Medicine In The United States

Hello! How’s your day going? Before we get started I wanted to preface this blog with something. It’s something small I promise, but I think it’s of the utmost importance in conveying this case. I, as the author of this here piece, want to challenge you to keep an open mind going into this. Now, I am fully aware that many of you that are reading this are doing so because you already have a left leaning bias. I doubt those who lean the opposite came across this blog title in their timeline, on my website, in google search results or wherever & were like, “yup, that’s it, that’s what’ll change my mind on this commie b.s.!” But if you are here under that belief system, welcome. This blog, if it’s headed the direction I believe it to be, will be more fact driven, not opinion. I will be doing my research as I go along, as well as fact checking everything I’m posting. I would advise you to do the same, lord knows how many opinions people are taking as fact these days. That being said I will also be using quite a bit of allegory for two reasons. One, it makes this a lot more interesting. I know none of you are here to read my research paper. Two, stories & outside examples are proven to latch onto people’s brains a lot better than facts served straight up. You feel me? Alright, that’s out of the way, shall we begin?

I don’t want to just jump into the concept of socialized medicine without first addressing the package in which it’s being shipped to the states. Democratic Socialism. I know that pairing of words just made a lot of you hiss & retreat like vampires from the sun, especially the “socialism” part, but I promise it’s not that scary. Let’s look at this in depth shall we? Well, not like Mariana Trench depth, more like snorkeling in Hawaii depth, because this is just going to be a basic outline. A lot of right leaning Americans are firm believers in Capitalism, a system that relies on trickle down economics to finance the masses. Think of it like a champagne fountain with the top glass being fed first followed by the next layer from the spillage of the one above it & so on & so forth. The problem that has arisen with this is that the top cup in this here allegory just keeps getting bigger & bigger & bigger catching all of the champagne & keeping it from the lower levels. On top of that, this top glass keeps telling the glasses underneath it that it isn’t taking their champagne, the glasses below it & the glasses that are coming over from the other tables are doing that. And the sad part is, the middle glasses are believing it despite the lowest glasses being the ones supporting the whole tower. This is where democratic socialism comes in, the goal of which it to return the glasses to an equal size & thus allowing the trickle down to actually happen.

But Charlie, you say, socialism is just another word for communism. Cue the Family Feud giant “X” on the board. Allow me to explain, if we have a line in which far right, big business capitalism is the left end of the spectrum & far left, everyone is equal despite the work they put in communism is on the right end of the spectrum, where do you think socialism fits in? Is it butted up against communism? Is it about a fourth of the way down the economic line towards capitalism? The answer may surprise you because socialism, straight up socialism, sits right smack dab in the middle. So if that’s the case, where does democratic socialism sit? Right in the middle of capitalism & true socialism, three fourths of the way towards capitalism. Which means, by proxy, it is a more capitalist idea than a communist one. Surprise.

Now, let’s talk medicine, specifically socialized medicine. Did you know that the United States is one of the only major country in the entire world that doesn’t have a form of universal healthcare? Let me show you. The map below shows the healthcare status of every country in the world. The dark green countries are those with free, universal healthcare. The bright green are those that have universal healthcare but it isn’t free. The blue countries have a base level free healthcare system in place but it’s not universal. And of course the red countries are those without free or universal healthcare.

So how does it work? How do you integrate socialized medicine into a country’s economy? Well let’s look at it a bit like streaming. Say you’ve cut the cord & are no longer using cable & instead you have your Netflix subscription, your Hulu subscription, your Sling subscription, your HBO subscription, your Disney+, your ShowTime, whatever. Let’s say in this scenario that HBO represents your taxes & Hulu represents your health insurance/general healthcare costs. You’re paying each of these subscriptions separately, a Hulu subscription costs $12 a month, HBO $15, but someone comes to you & says “why not just bundle your services? Bundle your HBO into Hulu.” To which you say “why would I pay more for something I already pay for?” When in reality bundling the service drops your Hulu down to $8 a month when you add the $15 HBO subscription to it. Instead of paying the lump sum of $27 you end up paying $23 & never have to worry about going broke from having to go to the hospital ever again. You’re not paying more because you’re outright getting rid of your stand alone subscription.

But I don’t want to pay for other people’s problems, you may say. Well, I hate to break it to you, but you already are. No, I’m not talking about Obamacare, which I will admit, has it's kinks but which, without I myself wouldn’t be able to afford health insurance. I’m referring to debt, specifically in the healthcare world. You see when someone who can’t afford health insurance has to go to the hospital they get charged for that & if they can’t afford health insurance what makes you think they can afford that medical bill? They can’t is the answer we’re looking for here. So they get sent to collections. They’re forced to declare bankruptcy. They’re sent into further financial ruin. So who pays that bill? Why, your taxes of course. You’re already paying the bills, so wouldn’t you rather not worsen someone’s life in the process?

We as a country have a long way to go in minimizing the ever growing gaps in quality of life between the classes. I mean wealth inequality is a completely different topic than the one at hand but I firmly believe a universal healthcare system would start to tip the balance back in the right direction. We have to change something, people are dying. A lot of Americans would rather risk death or permanent injury than go broke trying to cover their medical costs. The system in place right now isn’t working, it’s time we try something new, & the system being proposed it’s not even something that drastic a change! Majority of the happiest, most successful countries in the world have democratic socialist institutions in place. In fact 8 out of 10 of the top ranked countries in the world are democratic socialist countries. The US isn’t a part of that list by the way, but we could be! You want to “Make America Great” start by helping the least of these.

Blog: Date Yourself Dammit!

First of all Happy Valentine’s Day or if you’re of the singular persuasion, Happy Singles Awareness Day! I know I’m a little late on this post but I want to encourage you all on what can be a somewhat lonesome day. As a single human for many a year I understand the struggle, believe me I do, but I want to issue you a small challenge to you today.

Years ago, in college, when I had just come off of a pretty terrible breakup, I stumbled upon a video by Mike Falzone called “The Universe Does Not Owe You a Boyfriend.” Now, for those of you that do not know Mike Falzone is a comedian/blogger who used to do these videos where he’d go for a walk around his neighborhood holding his camcorder while ranting about a topic. In this particular video Mike talks about how he’s tired of people saying that they’re so ready to have a boyfriend or girlfriend, why hasn’t the universe delivered one to me, particularly those who haven’t put in the work in loving themselves. His opinion is that two fully formed humans, who are 100% happy with themselves make the best relationships because they are balanced in creating a 100% happy relationship. Here’s the video for all that are curious:

I for one, couldn’t agree more. I see so many people, every day trying, desperately to find happiness & fulfillment in a significant other. That’s not how it works y’all. If you aren’t happy on your own, by yourself, how can you ever expect to be happy in a relationship or to make someone else happy?! Also, how selfish of you to depend on someone else/use someone to find your happiness. A successful relationship should be about selflessness, that’s what makes us better humans, selfless acts. That isn’t restrictive to your relationship with your boo by the way. The world is a much better place when people are selfless & help one another without having to be forced into it.

Back to the topic at hand. You should be happy with yourself, by yourself. You should love yourself where you are, with you flaws, not only by where you aspire to be. I’m not saying stagnate, please, please don’t stagnate, but I am saying to have patience & love for yourself.

All of this being said I want to issue a challenge to all my single folks out there. This is a challenge I myself have adopted for birthdays & other holidays that can dip into the lonely. This Valentine’s day do what you love. Treat yourself. If it’s your day, your day of love, your birthday, whatever, treat yourself. Do the things you love to do & if other people want to join/if you want other people to join then great! Don’t sit around moping, saying “oh poor me” when this is your day! Treat. Your. Self. Go to that new restaurant you’ve been wanting to try, watch your favorite film, take a long shower, go to your favorite city, take yourself shopping. If you can’t do the things you love to do by yourself why do you expect other people to show up & enjoy them? Why do you need someone else around to witness your enjoyment? Go out, meet new people, bask in the moments, & love yourself first & foremost. We all have to date ourselves a little before we fully understand the beautiful human being underneath, so go out & spend a little time with you!

Blog: Be You Boo

I feel I’ve gotten to the point in my life where I’m done apologizing, I’m done conforming, I’m done modifying to who people expect me to be verses the person that I know I am. Which is hard. It’s especially hard as an introvert & someone who shies away from conflict, but I guess I’ve just gotten to the point of being fed up. I’m not saying we should all be brash, in-your-face people all the time; I understand that there are certain situations that require some decorum. However, I am so sick of filtering myself around the people I love that claim to love me for me and sick of presenting a version of myself that isn’t entirely true.

I think we all naturally do this to an extent and that’s why we all have our wild streaks in our 20s. We grow up with the imprint of who our parents want us to be, who our friends & mentors want us to be. It’s not until we’re out of the house that a lot of us are free to experiment with the boundaries of our morality. We finally get the time to figure out what we value, what we don’t, what’s worth out time & effort, & what simply is not. For a lot of people these new found beliefs & lifestyles may end up clashing with the preconceived image of you someone you grew up with has. Thus, we filter. We either completely omit or cover up the parts of us the we don’t feel we can show the past out of some semblance of respect or love, when in reality these temporary walls we build end up requiring constant maintenance & energy to uphold & end up doing more harm than good. We end up drained, grouchy, unhappy because we don’t feel we’re allowed to be the people that we are around the people that are supposed to accept us as we are. We fight with this feeling of owing these people the version of you that they know because we think it’ll save them pain or discomfort, when in the end it ends up doing more damage.

This carries over into how we present ourselves in the world at large. We all tend to wear these different masks subconsciously, each specifically designed to augment or only show parts of who we are. We have the mask we wear for our significant others, the one that we grow unhappy in over time that ends in us hating that person because of how we’ve modified ourselves for them. We have the mask we wear to work that leaves you unfulfilled, hating a job you never wanted in the first place. We have the mask we wear for our friends, the strong one that never shows your vulnerabilities because you are the shoulder they turn to to cry on. And so one & so forth. Hell, we even go into new social settings with a list of pre-approved items we’re willing to share with a new acquaintance, friend, or colleague. I say enough. I am so tired of the masks. I'm so tired of trading them interchangeable throughout my day to uphold an idea that may no even be true. The idea that if people knew you, really knew you, they wouldn’t like you.

This specifically has wormed its way into music for me. What is music at the end of the day if not a form of expressing the self. Think of your favorite song. Is it pretty? Are the lyrics overly fantasized or is it gritty? Does it dive deep & attach to a part of you that fills you with melancholy, with nostalgia, with a strange sense of longing or hope? You see the songs that last, the artists that last are brash; they’re honest. They’re not afraid to talk about what they love, what hurts them, what they struggle with and as fans, we reward them by buying their albums, seeing them live, adding their songs to our rainy day playlists. I want to be that. I’m tired of writing into the cliches because I know it’s what will strike radio. I’m tired of filtering myself because the truth of my emotion might hurt someones feelings or make someone feel uncomfortable. I’m tired of trying to be someone I’m not & overriding the person that I am because I’m so incredibly proud of him. I’m proud of the steps he’s made, I’m proud of the man he’s become, I’m proud of the lessons he’s learned from his failures. I’m proud of myself.

I shouldn’t have to bushel my pride because someone else isn’t secure enough in who they are & neither should you. Live your life, YOUR life, because it is yours. It’s not your friend’s, it’s not your parent’s, it’s not your lover’s or your boss’s; it’s yours. Do what makes you happy, be the person that makes you happy, unapologetically. Live boldly but never arrogantly. Know your worth but never be afraid to help those in need. Love out loud, love everyone until they give you a reason not to. Be empathetic & kind & understanding. Listen to each other & walk in someone else’s shoes for a while. Realize your life experiences are not the norm, because there is no such thing. We all have walked different paths & just want to feel like we matter. So believe that you do. You matter, as you are. Have courage in that affirmation! If you don’t know who you are take the time to learn away from the masks. Date yourself, do something that makes you happy, really understand why it makes you happy. You’re magnificent, live as such!

Blog: New Year, Same Constantly Evolving Me

I’m going to outright say it, I think the concept of a new year’s resolution is B.S.. I’m a strong proponent of constantly bettering yourself; you shouldn’t wait for a marked date to start a change you want to make in yourself, you should constantly be evolving & making yourself a better human. I also believe the science that fast life changes never stick, that’s why I think Whole30 is a waste of your time unless you’re on it all the time. We are all creatures of habit, we have a hard time breaking our habits, hence why we must enforce a new habit. I think if you’re going to make a change, really make the change you have to introduce it slowly into your routine & let it grow over time. If you’re wanting to workout more start by doing 30 minutes to an hour three times a week, don’t just jump into a fitness routine that’s going to burn you out quickly. If you want to eat better do so one food group at a time. Start two weeks without soda, then cut out gluten, then two weeks later cut sugar, or whatever your desired goals are!

I think the same goes for reinvigorating your work ethic. If you’re not happy where you are in your career or don’t feel you’re doing enough & need the kick in the pants to get things start taking baby steps to prepare you for the giant ones down the line! Start with something different weekly like self evaluation/course correction, add bits of the grunt work that builds the foundation you need, start a weekly video series, start a weekly blog……

As I mentioned above we are all creatures of habit & this is not only self contained, we feel the same about the world that surrounds us. People want stability; they want reliability & consistency. Your boss wants to see this new found motivation isn’t just something that’s going to fizzle out in a week or two. Your fans want to see that when they show up to your YouTube channel on Tuesday evenings there’ll be a new video up. People crave patterns, the easiest way to move up the ladder is to give people that which they so crave.

All of these are practices we should be doing all the time, not just for the new year. We as a society as a whole need to learn to be more introspect. We chastise people for their shortcomings not realizing they are reflections of our own. We fail to treat people with kindness or empathy because we feel subconsciously that people don’t treat us as such. We don’t take the time to listen, to see someone else’s point of view because we automatically assume people aren’t going to do the same for us. This is a societal change that we must rectify, but it has to be done one person at a time.

I guess all of this is a long winded way for me to say screw your new year’s resolution. You should be introspective & analytical enough to strive for constant evolution. Healthy habits are learned, they aren’t going to magically stick because you took a month to eat broccoli for once in your life or purchased your spouse a Pelaton for Christmas. Small conscious steps are what will make the changes you want, not fad diets, not complaining on the internet about how you’re not where you deserve to be, actual progress. Slow, painful progress. No one scales Everest in a day, don’t expect yourself to either. Be present, be self aware, be kind, & meet people where they’re at. Be patient with yourself, you’ll get there if you put in the effort! Hone your skills, cut out toxic people or the habits that drag you down & take up too much of your life. Happy New Year to you all, remember, baby steps!

Blog: Comparison, You Joy Thieving Bitch!

“Comparison is the thief of joy.”

— Theodore Roosevelt

I’ll be the first to admit that I fall prey to comparison far too often. I look at other people’s progress, accolades, followings, likes, etc and allow it to diminish my own. I allow comparison to not only steal my joy but also my sense of worth, the scope of my talent, & the progress I have made. This is by far the biggest thing I feel holding myself back, it’s something I’ve struggled with for years & I’m more than well aware of it. I allow it to creep into my brain & fester until I begin to obsess over it & get myself into a mood, as I am today. I’m even someone who preaches this to others when they ask advice but I have an incredibly hard time with practicing it myself. On top of all of this, I put far too much stock into what other people think of me & not even what they actually think, what I perceive that they might think of me. It’s insanity and at time it eats me alive. Now, I wouldn’t outright say I’m jealous of a lot of my fellow artists/musicians/songwriters, in fact I’m incredibly proud of them, but at some point you get tired of sitting on the side lines & just want to play the damn game.

There in lies the double edged sword that comes with being an artist. We shouldn’t care what others think of our art because that stifles our creativity, at the same time a lot of us want to be successful & know whether that’s through clout or finance. Both of these things require an ear for taste & a recognition of what we’re able to monetize. All great art is ground breaking, it’s different, it changes the status quo, but at some point in its success it becomes the new status quo, therefore I think even boundary pushing art, super personal art requires taste. The fastest way to get swept under is to conform to what makes others special.

“You say you want to be the next Taylor Swift but there’s already a Taylor Swift out there. And surprise, surprise she’s going to do the best Taylor Swift that anyone can do, so you should do the best you that you can do.”

— Rick Barker

I recognize that my brand of country doesn’t fit the stigma that is everyone else’s brand of county. I also recognize my brand of pop doesn’t fit the stigma there either. Same goes for my brand of rock. I understand that, in a still genre based music industry, my sound will take a little longer to stick because it’s a little harder to quantify. I’ve been told up & down Nashville “this isn’t country enough” just as I’ve been told up & down LA that “this isn’t pop enough” & for a long while I let that get me down. That is until I realized it makes me unique. It makes me stick out amongst the millions of artists out there trying to be heard. I wear "it isn’t _____ enough” as a badge of honor now because it has evolved into something truly me. I love being able to fuse all the music I love into one sound, it frustrates the hell out of Joshua Gleave at times (my producer), but I’m always incredibly proud of the outcome.

“Go where you’re celebrated, not where you’re tolerated.”

— Unknown

All of that being said, it is tiresome to watch artists that fit the mold have over night success. It’s tiresome trying to pull from an audience that just wants to be handed the same thing over & over until the next great thing shatters the mold & the process begins again. I truly wish I were someone that didn’t care, that didn’t look at all my analytics & second guess everything I post or put out based on the reception it does or does not receive. I need to work on that I know. I also know social media is a part of branding in the modern music industry. It’s how we get out name, image, songs out there. It’s how we advertise, but man can it be draining. I personally am beyond excited for instagram to remove the like counter. I’m tired of caring how many likes a post does or doesn’t get. I’m tired of caring how many people saw my story or reacted to a tweet. It’s exhausting & it does nothing good for my mental health. I’m tired of chasing dead ends I want so badly to like me. I’m tired of going out of my way to help other up the ladder just to have them turn & leave me in the dust, it’s time I forage my own path & see if someday they come back to me. I need to be the strong, confident, open book I’ve always wanted to be & quite frankly stop giving a shit. I need to stop being afraid of the what ifs & truly embrace being myself inside & out of my artistry.

“The more it scares you, the more you probably need to do it.”

— Stephen Lovegrove

I can promise you now that 2020 is going to look a hell of a lot different for me. I’m so beyond over sitting on the sidelines & am ready to “take life by the reins”….I quoted my own song there… I’m so excited to see what it holds & I’m going to do my best daily to make steps in improving not only my confidence but also my resilience & authenticity. I think the first step to that is going into 2020 with a clear mind, that being said I’m taking about a week break from socials until the new year so I can regroup my thoughts, reassess my self worth, & really hit the ground running.

This will be the last you’re hearing from me in 2019, I want to thank you all for an amazing year. I have learned so much & am so ready to apply it moving forward. I’m grateful for each of you that have streamed my songs, for those of you that share them, add them to your playlists, come to my shows, I’m so thankful!

One final thought, do we like this blog format? Are we liking Fridays for them? Are we enjoying my ranting thoughts? Please leave a comment & let me know!

I wish you all the best possible new year in 2020; take those daily steps towards bettering yourself, treat people with kindness and empathy, always, and be the best you there ever was & ever will be!

Happy New Year to you all!

Love,

Charlie

Blog: Home for the Holidays

I want to frame this blog around the expansion of something that I touched on in my morning pep talk this morning. If you’re not a follower of mine on Instagram first off:

Second, for those unaware, when I work my morning job I do a “Morning Pep Talk” in which I encourage a productive day, week, season, etc & also occasionally offer a daily challenge or advice. Today I briefly spoke on expectations, specifically when it comes to home for the holidays. I want to start this blog off with one of my favorite exerts from one of my favorite poets/philosophers Kahlil Gibran. This is an exert from The Prophet titled “On Children.”

“And a woman who held a babe against her bosom said, Speak to us of Children.
And he said:
Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer’s hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable.”

— The Prophet: On Children, Kahlil Gibran

I’ve had many conversations over the last week from friends seeking advice specifically in this regard. It’s actually been a bit shocking the through line that I’m being presented with. In part I’m flattered that my friends think they can come to me about these things but it also saddens me that peoples’ families make them feel this way. Don’t think I’ll be pulling many punches here, you’ve been warned.

I want to talk specifically about a few different things here. The first being directed at those who are children of divorce or those who live far away from their families. Do not. I repeat, DO NOT allow your family to guilt trip you. You are not the constantly fluctuating treaty line your separated parents get to change their mind on where exactly it stands. You are not a malleable bridge responsible for bridging their gap. You are a human being, your parents problems are not your own. If you are on good terms with both of your parents and are making an effort to see them over the holidays that should be enough. Your effort & follow through should be enough. You do not owe them a specific amount of time, you do not owe them upholding to any plan that causes you to bend over backwards & compromise who you are. The holidays are stressful enough without all of that. Your parents shouldn’t make you feel like dirt to try & guilt you into spending time with them, that’s manipulation.

The same goes for people returning home for the holidays. Make time for your family, if that’s what you’re there to do, but again, don’t let them guilt trip you. Nothing makes people want to skip town on the next bus out faster than being told they don’t spend enough time with someone else, or they didn’t make enough of an effort. You made the effort & showed up. The holidays should be enjoyable for all; people should strive towards making their family & friends feel welcome. If you’re the family member of someone from out of town you need to understand that you aren’t the only people that raised them. If they want to make time to spend with friends or those you deem other, that’s their choice to make. Time is one of our most precious commodities, trust them enough to believe that they are using their limited time home in a manner that is not only fulfilling but also valuable to them. You do not own them or their time, therefore the time they have freed up to spend with you should be seen as a gift & not taken advantage of, nor should it be something to feel glutinous about. Your guilt trip is nothing more than externalized greed, be satisfied with what you have.

For those going home whose home no longer feels homie, I challenge you to stand firm in the conviction of who you are. Whether your family doesn’t value you as a person or what you value, you are no less of a human being because of it. I’m not saying to go home & pick fights; we should always start from a place of kindness but the moment someone tries to diminish you or change who you are they have shown that they lack respect for the human being. We are all different, these differences should be celebrated, isn’t that what part of the beauty of the holidays, people from all walks of life coming together to share their time & stories? Isn’t that the point of family? Shouldn’t it be that unbreakable support system that sees you for who you are & loves you unconditionally? Shouldn’t you be able to be your fullest self around them? If that’s not the case for you maybe it’s time to change who you call family.

I know all that I’ve said here is a bit of a downer but I truly don’t mean it to be, I’m simply offering my advice. And it’s just that. Advice. The beautiful thing about it is that you can take it or leave it. We struggle our whole lives to understand who we are. We make so many steps towards understanding & striving towards being the best versions of yourself, why would you ever want to sacrifice that just so someone else can continue to use you or continue to make you feel lousy or continue to believe a lie they’ve self perpetuated. You came through your family, you are not them, though you belong to them, they do not own you. I hope you have the happiest of holidays. May the rest of your December be merry & bright!

Blog: Global Warming & The One Iota of Truth

So, global warming.

(Yes, we’ll be referring to it as “global warming” instead of “climate change” because the research shows the general public finds that terminology “more pressing,” which it should be.)

As I’m sure many of you have seen, global warming has been making all kinds of headlines this week mostly due to The UN Climate Summit & Greta Thunberg’s incredible speech. If you haven’t given the incredible sixteen year old’s speech a listen, it’s a powerfully moving four and a half minute watch as is her speech during the opening track of The 1975’s forthcoming album “Notes On A Conditional Form.” The escalating visibility of climate activism & mountainous pile of evidence in favor of the fact that we are destroying our planet got me thinking, & really it got me thinking about one tiny little question I want to ask those who don’t seem to believe the truly dire situation we are in. Before I pose my question I guess I should preface by clarifying that this blog post is more targeted towards those who are deniers than believes. My question follows:

What if it’s true? What if only one tiny iota of it is true? Out of all the data & concrete science, what if even one gram of it is truth? Is that not enough to take action?

I know majority of the denier demographic falls in the boomer category & I know, I know this is going to sound like just another millennial whining about the older generation messing things up for us, but we share the fault in this as well. It seems however that the reason Gen X, Millenials, & Gen Z are rapidly joining the fight against global warming is, to put it plainly, that we’ll actually be alive to see it. We’ll be the ones left to “survive” on the earth we killed., forced to live with the horrendous conditions we’ve created. Not only will we have to live with this, but so will our children & our children’s children. Those who are innocent to the cause will suffer the effects of the negligence of the previous generations. My prompt to those who are in the older generations, content to let the world burn, is what about your grandchildren? Hasn’t your goal as a parent, as a grandparent, always been to create a better way of life for those that come after you? If that’s the case I think I would mark this down as a major failure on your part & say in the worlds of Greta “How Dare You!”

If there’s one iota of truth to it all why are you fighting the change required? What do you lose by being just a little more green? What are you really giving up to save the planet? Think of all the things you’ve sacrificed over the years to make a better life, how if this any different? I guess the main difference boils down to selfishness. We don’t want to change because they’re not, we don’t want to change because it doesn’t benefit us or our families immediately, we don’t want to change because it may cost us a few dollars more a month. I would argue “an eye for an eye” leaves the world blind, or in this case, dead. You’re right, the change necessary wouldn't improve the quality of just those around you, it’d improve the quality of life for everyone living on this planet. The money you inevitably save on allergy medication or other medical bills, the money you save because food is becoming increasingly hard to grow or catch due to the death of pollinators or decimated populations, the amount you’ll save not having to deal in home maintenance due to the ever increasing ferocity of weather, heat, & cold, will be more than worth the investment you put in to choosing the greener path.

I guess I’m just frustrated, my generation is frustrated. We’re tired of screaming stop just for the wheel to keep turning without regard for what it’s trampling in the process. We have to make a change, all of us. We have to pressure corporations, that make up 72% of the carbon footprint to change. We have to be better, not only for ourselves but for those who come after. We cannot allow selfishness & laziness to win. None of these changes are things you have to make over night, but little by little we all can help save the world. Start by getting a recycling bin, move to purchasing reusable containers to take with you to the store, cut out single use plastics, buy from sustainably farmed sources, don’t run your heat or air conditioner at full blast all the time. Take baby steps adding more and more as you go along, you’ll be amazed when you look back & see how far you’ve come just how easy the journey actually was.